Hey all, im a 21 year old college student. When I first started college, I was a hardcore AFC, actually way below the average AFC due to brainwashing from my parents and relatives(especially my female cousins). I was afraid to approach a woman in fear of her gettin angry(bad mistake on my part). I'd always wait for the woman to talk to me. When I was 19, this woman showed interest in me and like an AFC I was too eager. I went for her email instead of phone number. Id email her everyday, sometimes twice a day and with page long emails. She was nice enough to go with me on a few dates and even on those dates I never made any sort of sexual move on her. Understandably so, she got tired of me and now is with someone else. Then in spring 2003, same thing. Was still always shy around women and would be overeager when a woman paid me attention. In addition id keep apologizing for every small thing in fear of offending. Stupid of me. For example there was this one girl in my class i liked. I worked with her on some take home final exam. When I went to her house to work on the final, I was stupid not to try out any kino on her and did all of the work willingly(nice guy routine) and then in the summer id call her like 5 times a day to try to get her to respond but id be talkin to the machine. Then after that, had a long distance relationship with someone in North Carolina. I used to talk with her for hours at a time, phone bill went up to 200 dollars for goin way over cell phone minutes. Then I spent 450 dollars for a plane ticket to see her and I did lose my virginity to her. And then over there over somethin small(which i told truth over) she cussed me out and threatened to assault me. Stupidly, I started crying and said im so sorry. I finally saw the light after reading Doc Love and his articles in spring 2004 and then really saw the light after coming to this site in the winter of 2004 and i have completely changed from shy/nice guy to DJ in progress. Whats the best way for me to show people in college that i have changed alot? As it is first impressions count alot and hopefully none of the women will remember me for my AFC days and will be open to seeing the new me.
Best way to rebuild reputation
- Thread starter LADawg49
- Start date
theSpeculator
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Dec 16, 2004
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From my experience. When I started this semester with a dramatic change (I mean HUGE from bad AFC to new DJ in 2 months) over last semester, my classmates seem to easily accept my new personality. I figure that questions would've been raised and there would be some resistance to my new personality, but apparently they are cool with it. Even my family and old friends seem to accept it easily.
I suppose that when you're confident in the inside the world will react to it. Therefore it doesn't matter how big a change you have made. People know that anyone can change, so why not you?
So I my advice is just to be your new self around everyone. And just let nature or destiny take its course.
I suppose that when you're confident in the inside the world will react to it. Therefore it doesn't matter how big a change you have made. People know that anyone can change, so why not you?
So I my advice is just to be your new self around everyone. And just let nature or destiny take its course.
Royal Elite
Banned
People want their friends and family to change for the better. As long as you change for the better people dont care. Most people change every so many years any way its just often times they dont notice it. Like Nikie "just do it".
Thundercat
Don Juan
Usually the best time to change, especially during school, is on extended breaks, such as summer vaction. Or, you can just distance yourself from the people you want to appear different to. After a while, you can reapproach them with the "new you" and they'll notice a difference.
Thundercat
Thundercat
Royal Elite
Banned
This is self conscious thinking since no matter when they see you again it will be the first time they see they see the new you. If its over one day or over a weekend it wont make a difference to them. All they will know is last time I seen you you were a chump but now you are not. So just do it asap, and dont worry about anybody else.
Thundercat
Don Juan
True, but they'll accept it more easily if there's a time passage in between. It's the difference between "Oh, so-and-so is acting all wierd" and "Wow, what happened to so-and-so?"
I've had experience with this, so that's the advice I'm givin.'
Thundercat
I've had experience with this, so that's the advice I'm givin.'
Thundercat
So pimp its scary
Master Don Juan
Let me tell you about my experience first year university.
Unlike most people, I waited two years to go back to school, so when I got there, any of the people that I knew were already well on their way to finishing off their courses.
I had no choice, I had to make all new friends. The mission that I had made for myself : Meet one new person EVERY single day.
And I did, at first it was nothing special, I would just sit with a new group of people and start a conversation. A few months go by, and next thing I know I got all different groups of people calling me by name as I walk in the cafeteria.
Then, it started to happen; people would come up to me asking questions like : 'How is it that you are always talking to different girls?', 'How do you do that?', 'What's your secret?'. So I told them.
That was around the time that I had to present my talent in front of the class... my talent being beatboxing, I am good but not pro, I nailed the performance in front of the class, and got a round of applause from a group of people, who most of which, had never even heard OF bboxing.
I hate to toot my own horn, but after that I became somewhat of a small legend around the campus. People started approaching me, asking me to beatbox, asking me for advice on approaching women, or whatever. Possibly one of the greatest years in my life, I had a good reputation, but I had to work hard to develop it, and made me realize that for the most part, a reputation is typically so small that it doesn't matter one way or the other... but if you live by it in a consistent way, you eventually become renound.
Unlike most people, I waited two years to go back to school, so when I got there, any of the people that I knew were already well on their way to finishing off their courses.
I had no choice, I had to make all new friends. The mission that I had made for myself : Meet one new person EVERY single day.
And I did, at first it was nothing special, I would just sit with a new group of people and start a conversation. A few months go by, and next thing I know I got all different groups of people calling me by name as I walk in the cafeteria.
Then, it started to happen; people would come up to me asking questions like : 'How is it that you are always talking to different girls?', 'How do you do that?', 'What's your secret?'. So I told them.
That was around the time that I had to present my talent in front of the class... my talent being beatboxing, I am good but not pro, I nailed the performance in front of the class, and got a round of applause from a group of people, who most of which, had never even heard OF bboxing.
I hate to toot my own horn, but after that I became somewhat of a small legend around the campus. People started approaching me, asking me to beatbox, asking me for advice on approaching women, or whatever. Possibly one of the greatest years in my life, I had a good reputation, but I had to work hard to develop it, and made me realize that for the most part, a reputation is typically so small that it doesn't matter one way or the other... but if you live by it in a consistent way, you eventually become renound.