Best way to protect yourself before a marriage?

[Reyaj]

So I know the broad term pre nuptial agreement.... but what specifically is the best course of action I can take before I get married to protect me if we ever get divorced???

Are there certain types of pre nups? I mean I am not rich right now but I do own property, plus I plan on making a lot of money soon. I also don't want to be responsible for anyone's debt.....


Please let me know what the best type of pre nup or any other action would be... thanx all

 

[PeakIV]

easy - don't get married.....

 

[evan12]

I resreached about that too , and in Ontario law for example you cant put the matrimonial house in the prenup (Marriage contact) Contact a male lawyer to find out with him what is the best way .
here is Ontario marriage guide for women, they listed all the rights that woman can have in the marriage and what she can do on divorce (actually it is frustrating ) .
http://www.nawl.ca/pdf/Money_Guide_Web.pdf

 

[speed dawg]

In your situation Reyaj, don't get married. You've posted countless threads on why you feel that you're being forced into a marriage you don't want to be in. Listen to your instinct.

 

[Reyaj]

In your situation Reyaj, don't get married. You've posted countless threads on why you feel that you're being forced into a marriage you don't want to be in. Listen to your instinct.

I know.. but she is a good girl. I have dated a lot of girls (more than just my approach journal) and this one really stuck... Sometimes I think I just have this DJ mentality ingrained in me. Anyway regardless of who I end up marrying I think this is a good thread that all of us can benefit from.

Any legal precautions that can be taken ahead of time will help.

 

[goundra]

unless you need marriage to import a 3rd world woman, I wouldn't touch it with a 10 ft pole. Kids are devastating to your abiity to accumlate money, and marriage = kids, unless you get sterilized. If you THINK that you might want some kids, use a sperm bank, or adopt, the world is full of good kids that need adoption, in the worst way! Get sterilized, and the 1/2 million $ that the pair of you thereby save in 15 years or so will let you LATER. raise a kid or 2 properly, or just retire and do nothing that you don't WANT to do, ever again.

 

[carlmax]

sorry i dont have the answer to that ..but if you are so concerned about your property why do you want to marry



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[Vidrio]

easy - don't get married.....

 

[zekko]

I know.. but she is a good girl. I have dated a lot of girls (more than just my approach journal) and this one really stuck... Sometimes I think I just have this DJ mentality ingrained in me. Anyway regardless of who I end up marrying I think this is a good thread that all of us can benefit from.

You're right, it's a good thread.

But it doesn't really matter that she is a good girl. I bet 90% of the guys who get married think they are getting a good girl. And maybe they are. But the fact is, marriage is seen as temporary and disposable in today's society. And it doesn't matter what she says today: "Oh, I'm not like that. I believe that marriage is forever. I would never leave you". None of that matters.

Life goes through changes, people go through changes. Look at Samspade, he seems like a decent enough fellow. But one day recently he decided he would rather be single, so he initiated a divorce. A man doesn't do this lightly, but it is waaaay easier for a woman to change her mind about something like this. It's very likely that someday she will wake up and decide she isn't satisfied or fulfilled with her life, and decide she needs to try something else.

Or she will fall in love with some other guy years down the road. It won't be her fault, it will have "just happened". And once a woman's emotions get caught up in a different direction, she's going to follow them. My advice is don't get married. I live with my girlfriend and she's okay with that, although I know she'd rather I marry her.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Child support can't be limited by a prenup anywhere in the US. New York will let you agree to pay more than the state would order if you want to, but that is the only way that child support could be put into a prenup. Child custody is also off-limits for all prenups.

 

[twentee]

well, duh! they have this thing called a "vasectomy", so you LET women screw you over, because of your lizard brain saying" I just GOTTA reproduce myself".

 

[Burroughs]

good words brad as usual

from reddit

I work for an attorney that handles divorces and one of the most common tactics that women use against men when they want a good settlement and automatic custody of the child is to initiate a heated argument in order to call the cops. Once the cops are called, in many states, they HAVE to arrest someone and with the woman playing the role of weak housewife the moments the cops arrive the guy is guaranteed to be arrested. Once the guy is arrested the woman files an emergency retraining order, gets granted emergency custody of the child and then she files for divorce. By the time guy is released all of his credit cards are cancelled, he can’t go home and has to find some motel to live in. Meanwhile, with him out the scene the woman goes on a PR campaign with the neighbors to win support and sympathy by people who will be potential witnesses in the divorce. At the same time the guy is up on criminal charges and the DA offers him to plead to a misdemeanor (means a fine and some anger management courses) or face a criminal trial (which will cost thousands of dollars he doesn’t have and could land him jail for a few years). Guys with any brains in there heads for the most part plead out. That plea pretty much ends any chance he has in his divorce or ever being able to see his kids.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Yes, Bible Belt, you can in fact waive these rights in New York...

Bible Belt, we already went through this in the rental thread, when you and iqqi argued with me. Lawyers should NOT be giving legal opinions, even though like you they may have attended law school for a year or two 20 years ago.

If you're not a licensed lawyer, you shouldn't be giving legal opinions.

Evan12 and Bible Belt I know you guys are intelligent and everything but you SHOULD NOT be giving people legal opinions. You guys often misread statutes, and regardless without experience you would have no way of understanding how statutes are enforced in real life by practicing judges.

I graduated from law school in 2007. My degree is probably more recent than yours.

You could at least read your own links:

http://www.divorcenet.com/states/new_york/nyfaq01

What if the other parent and I have already worked out a plan for child support in our separation agreement? Can we use that instead of the guidelines?

Yes. You both can waive the basic child support obligations as long as the waiver is in writing, states what the basic child support obligation would have been, and states the reasons why your agreement should be adopted instead. Your agreement must also recite that you have been advised of Domestic Relations Law § 240 (1-b) and Family Court Act § 413(1)(b) and that the basic child support obligation would presumptively result in the correct amount of child support to be awarded.

Think about it. No state is going to honor an agreement that says a guy gets out of paying child support. It would be very obviously void on a public policy basis. If it were that easy to get out of child support, everyone would want to do it.

 

[Bible_Belt]

I never took the bar exam. You could say I have negative views of the profession.

Is English not your first language? This has very little to do with a law degree, and more about just being able to read English. You said you were from Eastern Europe, so I am wondering if it might be your second language?

Once again, all you have to do is read the link you posted:

What if the other parent and I have already worked out a plan for child support in our separation agreement? Can we use that instead of the guidelines?

Yes. You both can waive the basic child support obligations as long as the waiver is in writing, states what the basic child support obligation would have been, and states the reasons why your agreement should be adopted instead. Your agreement must also recite that you have been advised of Domestic Relations Law § 240 (1-b) and Family Court Act § 413(1)(b) and that the basic child support obligation would presumptively result in the correct amount of child support to be awarded.

The part in bold means that you can't use a prenup to get out of paying child support, or even lessen it below what it would be without the prenup.

You could just look it up anywhere else on the Internet.

http://www.ehow.com/about_6393291_new-york-prenuptial-agreement.html

Remember that rights to child support payment cannot be waived, though provisions for child support can be determined if they are in excess of state expectations.

http://www.joyrosenthal.com/articles/child-support.html

the custodial parent cannot waive child support altogether.

http://divorcemediation.com/articles-child-support-future.php

In the case of Tompkins County Support Collection Unit v. Chamberlin, 99 NY2d 328, 756 N.Y.S.2d 115 (Feb. 13, 2003), the court held that the Mother should receive $149.62 per week, rather than the $57 per week provided for in the parties' agreement.

And here's a paragraph about the policy behind the rule:
http://responsibledivorce.com/legal/child-support.htm

the obligation to support children arises by operation of law, not contract. It exists not because parents agree on it, but because the state, in its role as parens patriae (protector of children) has an overriding interest in ensuring adequate support for children. The state also has an interest in reducing the size of its welfare rolls. Thus, even though a married couple can enter into a binding contract concerning how their property and debts are going to be divvied up, the portions of the agreement concerning child support are not completely within their ability to control. A judge can choose to enforce or not to enforce a child support agreement, even if it is part of a voluntary, bargained-for exchange between two intelligent, well-informed adults.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Once again, you're not even reading the links you post. The waiver was allowed because someone else was already paying the child support. That's a very unusual circumstance.

O'Connor v. Curcio, 281 A.D.2d 100 (2001).

the defense of waiver was based upon the assumption that the child was receiving adequate support from another source (see, Swanton v Curley, 273 N.Y. 325).

I'm starting to doubt that you're an attorney at all. I mean this is the Internet, and I guess all of us can pretend to be whatever we want. But you're not doing a very good job at pretending to be a lawyer. Anyone with the slightest bit of common sense should understand that no guy is going to get out of paying child support because of a prenup. I got a D in family law about six years ago and the one thing I remember about child support is that it can't be waived. That's the most important thing they teach regarding prenups and support. It is a basic tenet of the modern concept of child support. The "waiver" that New York allows only applies in exceedingly rare circumstances where payment happens anyway; by no means is it a trick to get out of paying altogether. It's really suspicious to me that you claim to have practiced family law and yet don't know something so basic.

 

[Bible_Belt]

There is no point in me arguing about the law with a law school dropout

If I was a dropout, then I wouldn't have this:
http://i186.photobucket.com/albums/x252/dotheopposite/0309131641_zpsa408531d.jpg

Until you post a picture of yours, I'm going to assume it exists only in your imagination.

And someone else paying an obligation for you is not the same as a waiver of the obligation.

 

[Bible_Belt]

If I was making it all up, do you think I would choose Southern Illinois University for my fake degree? Go there right now if you want and look at the class pictures for each year. They're in the hallway. There's only one name in 2007 that matches the picture I posted.

It's rather unusual that you have never once on sosuave posted about your experience in law school. Where did you study?

And where's my picture of your degree? Every lawyer has it framed on the wall of his office. It should be very simple for you to post one, provided that you actually are a lawyer, which I am beginning to doubt more all the time.

 

[Bible_Belt]

I'm thinking you probably flunked out of Cooley. There's no shame in that, man, they flunk out 2/3rds of the people who go there, because they let in applicants who can't get in anywhere else. It's a big scam. I could see how going through something like that would make a person want to pretend to be a lawyer over the Internet. I can see that you have an interest in the law, so good for you, even if you never got the actual degree.

 

[goundra]

if you have kids in the US these days, you are most likely an idiot in the first place. You are certainly a jerk if you want to not provide for them. If the latter is the case, I think that you should be horsewhipped, at the very least.

 

[Bible_Belt]

At least I'm genuine and willing to prove it. You're an Internet lie.

On the martial arts threads, you're supposedly a street fighting bad ass with your wicked tae kwon doe skills. I never made fun of you about that, because it's just too pathetic to even bother. And on here you're supposedly a lawyer. In both instances, you talk a lot of bvllsh!t without being able to back up anything you say. I wouldn't say that I have lost respect for you; I never had it in the first place.

That's why I mentioned that I got a D in Family law several years ago - it is relevant because I STILL know more about family law that you, because you are only pretending to be a lawyer. If you were a little smarter, you could see how obvious it is that you are lying about your entire life.