Best way to break up??

[European-DJ]

How should i break up with my GF..

I am wasting my time with this girl, she takes too much time, and she isn't a girl i wanna marry..

Anyone have some post about this, or personal experience?

I would like to be able to get back to her within a year (if i get needy )

Regards!

 

[Aaron B]

tell her in person

tell her why

don't stick around to comfort her - that's what her mom and her girlfriends are for

be prepared for her to try to get you back, because "nothing spikes her interest quite like refusing to have anything to do with her"

 

[pdx1138]

well first off, don't count on getting her back if you get needy in a year.

if you want to break up with her then just do it and know you will likely never get her back.

 

[thewickedm]

How should i break up with my GF..

Face to face, like a man. Don't be one of those who breaks up over Facebook or text, or IM, like how some *****es like to do to their BFs who have been condemned to the 18th level of AFC hell. Be clear of your decision, then have a talk with her to finish it off.

I am wasting my time with this girl, she takes too much time, and she isn't a girl i wanna marry..

Good start, it is important for a guy to realize when he is wasting his time with a girl. Time is a man's most precious resource, and he should never allow any girl to take up too much of it, no matter how hot she is or how freaky she is in bed. Our time must be spent improving our lives, not wasted on a girl whom you have already decided is not a girl you wanna marry.


Anyone have some post about this, or personal experience?

In my experience, the girl will most probably not be understanding of your reasons for wanting to break up with her, and might even resort to emotional blackmail, begging, or anything in her power to keep you by her side. In the past, I had gone back to a girl after she did some of the above, because I had mistaken that behavior for love. I want you to NEVER believe any of that bull****. If a girl is not understanding of your wanting to end a relationship because it is not working out for you, then she is a selfish ***** who only things about her end of the bargain.

She is losing someone who wastes all his time and probably a lot of money and attention on her, so she is bound to struggle with it, and the fact that you finally decided to be a man and take control of your life. So, be clear of your outcome - you want to break up with her. In no circumstance do you allow her to change your mind. Girls have magical powers they learned from their fairy godmothers to sway people's decisions in their favor. Dont say I didn't warn you


I would like to be able to get back to her within a year (if i get needy )

Dude, I replied the above questions, and then I read this line, which almost made me feel like sending you a *****-slap across cyberspace. Listen, why would you like to be able to get back to her? Did you not tell us a few sentences ago that she is not someone you wanna marry? So are you telling us you don't mind wasting your time all over again in a relationship which won't work out for you in the long run and let her take up all your precious time AGAIN, all this because you might become needy?

NEEDY? No my man, if you feel lonely, go build a social circle of friends, if you want female company, seek out girls who meet your standard or interest and intrigue you. Use this "neediness" you speak of to fuel your motivation to improve your life and be happy, and to drive you to meet and **** new and better girls. Again, this comes from personal experience because I had taken my ex back a few times because of neediness and the lack of options, AND regretted it every single time I did. Because nothing changes, and even if she tries to "change" her behavior, it would usually only last for nothing more than a few weeks before she reverts to the kind of behavior that made you ask this question of how best to break up with her.

So unless you want to make the same mistakes I made, and come back here a year from now asking the same question, DO NOT. I repeat. DO NOT go back to her.

I'll be watching you.

Regards!

My thoughts are in bold.

 

[The LadyKiller]

What the others mentioned above is correct:
- Do it in person. Via phone, text or online makes you look like a coward.
- Have a legitimate reason. "It's not you, it's me" doesn't suffice.
- Don't be a douche
- STAY STRONG! You may get tears, profanity, pure craziness. But just stick with your convictions and you'll be fine.

 

[European-DJ]

My thoughts are in bold.

This is a very well written text! .. and you are right, i just tend to get depressed, when breaking up with a LTR .. usually the first month is VERY hard for me.

But i just gotta man up, getting hurt a couple of times, HOPEFULLY, will tuffen me up.

 

[Aaron B]

This is a very well written text! .. and you are right, i just tend to get depressed, when breaking up with a LTR .. usually the first month is VERY hard for me.

But i just gotta man up, getting hurt a couple of times, HOPEFULLY, will tuffen me up.

all the more reason not to put yourself in another long term relationship until far into the future

at 19, there is no logical reason for you to restrict yourself to just one vagina

as men we like to complain about women acting out of emotion and being illogical creatures, then we do the exact same thing but still consider ourselves to be "logical thinkers"

what good is logic if you allow your emotions to overrule it?

you have an excellent opportunity to date many different women and find out who you are as a person and what you like from the opposite sex, while also learning to control your emotions so you aren't a prisoner of them in the future

A big part of being a man is logically understanding the proper course of action then making your decision and sticking to it in spite of your emotions.

 

[thewickedm]

European-DJ,
How is things going? Have you done it? Or have you already made enough excuses for you to not follow through on your decision?

It is normal to feel sad. More often than we would admit, we care for the girl in our lives. it is like losing a part of yourself when you break up with someone, and this feeling gets stronger the more you have invested in this relationship - be it time, emotions, energy, or money. And that is the reason I am following up on your question. Have you done it? Or are you going to go down the path I had once trodden ?

Trust me. It is better to lose a small part of yourself than to surrender your whole self and lose yourself in the relationship. Would you rather be on your death bed regretting that you never managed to summon the courage to do what was right and let life and the agenda of other people shape who you became?

Just for your info, I asked for advice. I did. Here. And I also appreciated all the advice given to me at that point in time. I did end up breaking up with the girl, but I let her back in because I stumbled and caved in. I don't want you to do that. Because I gave in, I wasted another 1 year plus with this girl when I could have been happily working on my life goals. Just in case you wondered, I am also worse off than I was at that point in time. But I am working on that.

The relationship I was talking about finally ended for good a few months ago. I will be honest and say that she has been over for a couple of times and we ended up having sex. But, it no longer happens. Because those few moments of ejaculatory euphoria is never worth the trouble.

 

[European-DJ]

theWickedm.

Just lmk, was it a mistake to stay with the girl another year, or did you enjoy the time spent?

For me, i saw her last night, and i did it. it all started off with her wanting to have sex, (and ofc. i wanted too) but then, i realised what a doushe i would be if i had sex and then cut her off..

- so i told her i couldn't do it, becase i had something to tell her.
I told her, and she was surprised.. started crying and **** .. i spoke to her for a very long time, calming her down.

atm i am sitting alone at home, looking for a trip to egypt with one of my friends over the PC.

I think it will help to get something else in my mind, and since i am fazinated by the pyramids, i know theese will take my mind of her - and then, i wont reasive her text/calls either ..

When i return, hopefully i can keep the NC

 

[thewickedm]

Tbh, some of the times were happy. But I've had the luxury of thinking through things after it ended, and those happy times were happy because I had someone to share them with, not because I wanted to share them with her. Do you understand the difference?

I am really glad you did it. And I hope you manage to keep up the NC. Enjoy your trip, and get involved in some projects of your interest to keep your mind from wandering too much. I am not a fan of GFTOW, because I think that doesn't really solve the problem, but if you do meet some beautiful women on your trip, why not?

Every time you feel like caving in, think of me. Think of how even though I did had some happy times in the extra one year plus I spent with my ex, I ended up being worse off in life overall. Because my ex was a huge time sink too. Not to mention energy, emotion, money etc. Don't fear your new found freedom, own it, and use it to your advantage. Start doing things you always felt you have no time for. And in your moments of possible folly, drop me a PM. That's what bros are for. That's what we are all here for.