Best Response When Your Date Cancels

[CheekyMonkey101]

I think that if you have experience and dealt with a woman who is interested in you compared to one who isn't it's like night and day. Instersted women well let you know they are interested due to their behavior

• They never flake (if they do it's rare)
• They are always eager to communicate with you
• They want to spend time with you
• They will try to impress you
• They will break rules for you etc

Women who are not interested leave you on read....lmfao

Oh I know. Unfortunately most men will never get to experience raw attraction.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

In theory, this sounds right, however, good luck getting the baddie you just met In downtown Brickell to come straight to your apartment not all women are going to smash of jump, with some you gotta pet them like a cat first before the purr.

Yeah, and since the women ain't going to smash off jump, then you (as the man) shouldn't be willing to treat her on a date, off jump.

Ever think about that one?

Now, I'm not saying she has to be willing to smash immediately..but she has to show genuine receptiveness to your sexual escalation...and this doesn't always have to be physical...it could be verbal.

Of course, you might be thinking "that shiit won't work".

And my response is simple; most of the dudes on here that are taking women on dates, are the same dudes that are getting flaked on...and are the same dudes that are here seeking advice.

So obviously, the take her out on a date shiit ain't working...and even if you do manage to smash after taking them on 2-3 dates...guess what...you basically paid for the puzzy.

Tsk, tsk.

 

[Pandora]

I have made the fatal error of letting the girl know that her flaking bothered me. Actual its the fatal error of caring too much. I met the girl later on and she said that she knew that I was upset and basically did it on purpose. She flaked multiple times after we had sex on purpose in order to regain power ( toxic girl stuff).

So never ever ever ever ever ever show it upsets you. If it does upset you then you need to sit down and do a spiritual journey inward. That happened in my early 30s. I cared too much because I was miserable in other aspects of my life.

The more complete you are the less you will care. You will see it for what it is. Had that girl flaked on me in my mid 30s I would have been midly dissapointed but also happy because now she freed up my evening to go do something I really enjoy. Like the gym or open mat jui jitsu etc.

 

[Pandora]

I shall paraphrase a quote you told me years ago about women acting luke warm.....'if she keeps saying yes, she is interested. "

So I'm going to ask you this right now.....What if she says No? Does that mean she is still interested? Lol.

I don't date women that waste my time sending mixed signals because they aren't sure.

You are either in or out. Or you ain't riding this stud!

Exactly. Women that really like you wont be lukewarm. Its either zero or 100 these days. Most of our dating issues come from pursuing women that are lukewarm. I have wasted YEARS of my life dealing with lukewarm. Same as sales. You want a yes or no. A maybe is the worst.

Girls flake for many reasons. Many flake on purpose as a power play to see how you react. They do this when they are not 100% sure of your value. Run away from these women. They are immature. They also have attachment issues and daddy issues etc etc....

The ones that genuinely had something come up will offer to come to your house if they really like you. Remember women are like binary code. Its either zero or 100 these days.

 

[Pandora]

Rejection isn't personal... it just means what you have is not what she is looking for. The reasons are not relevant since the man cannot control attraction.

If a woman will not give a man a shot... no problem... move on and don't give it any other thought.... In fact, thinking about it too much will completely screw up your mindset.

If a woman makes a FIRST date with a man, and then later cancels one of two things happened:

(1) She never really wanted to go out with you in the first place (again... the reason is irrelevant since the man has no control over this), and she did this to just get rid of you. The reason women do this is because they regrettably have a lot of experience with other men that make saying no difficult. It's easier for her to say 'yes' then later cancel by text. This avoids unpleasant confrontation.

(2) She was initially attracted to you, but something happened (again the man cannot control this so what 'happened' isn't relevant). Could be another dude she likes better is in the picture... after giving it some thought decided she really isn't attracted to you... could be something is going sideways in her life.... again doesn't matter because you don't have control over this.

The OP gives good advice not only for women, but anything in you life that you do not have control over. Never agonize or get upset about anything you cannot control is a waste of time and counterproductive.

Since we are discussing attraction and interest with respect to women, when you do not overreact to her rejection, you actually become more interesting... you are displaying a trait that all women find attractive... emotional self-control. I do not say this because it's some kind of game where you can turn something around you have to politely walk away without getting butt hurt. You are done, you are not upset, you just have more important things to do with your time. You walk away politely because you NEVER burn bridges, you let her burn that bridge. NEVER make an enemy you do not have to make. Trust me... enemies will find you if you are living a life where you are looking out for yourself... there will be people who do not like you. If you are a person that everyone likes and no one is jealous of... well, truth is you are not living much of a life. You do not have to go out of your way to make new enemies.

This is 100% gold. I just saw an instagram of a woman who made a video. She said she cancelled on the guy. He was so calm about it ( emotional self control) that it offended her. She is salty that he is so chill.

Women are indirectly probing for emotionally self control when they flake sometimes. If you have emotional self control it speaks volumes about you. Its like a picture is worth a thousand words. Your reaction to a flake is worth 1000 dates. It shows that you are balanced and happy with your life.

I had NO EMOTIONAL control up until my late 30s. I could have sex with a lot of women but if they flaked on me I would melt. This was because I was a mess in other parts of my life. I had to grow up, find my passion, do some shrooms before it stoped bothering me. I had to become happy.

 

[Oatmeal31]

This is 100% gold. I just saw an instagram of a woman who made a video. She said she cancelled on the guy. He was so calm about it ( emotional self control) that it offended her. She is salty that he is so chill.

Women are indirectly probing for emotionally self control when they flake sometimes. If you have emotional self control it speaks volumes about you. Its like a picture is worth a thousand words. Your reaction to a flake is worth 1000 dates. It shows that you are balanced and happy with your life.

I had NO EMOTIONAL control up until my late 30s. I could have sex with a lot of women but if they flaked on me I would melt. This was because I was a mess in other parts of my life. I had to grow up, find my passion, do some shrooms before it stoped bothering me. I had to become happy.

Flaking is bad. It's disrespectful. I'd personally call out that behavior, otherwise I feel like a doormat that's enabling that behavior. A bit off my chest too

You said you had no emotional control. How did you react back then? Did you resort to insults, call them out, or what? And how do you respond now?

 

[Barrister]

The Fluff's Meow

Personally I have somewhat of a forward approach in my communications so sometimes there's some hesitation mixed in with the tingles. As long as tingles are had before the cancelled date, I tend to leave the door open.

I am glad I am not the only one who realized awhile back this is "catsmeow", "catsmeow2" in her newest disguise. I honestly don't mind her posting here -- but the new handles are completely unnecessary.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

So never ever ever ever ever ever show it upsets you. If it does upset you then you need to sit down and do a spiritual journey inward.

Sit down and do a spiritual journey inward.

 

[Solomon]

Yeah, and since the women ain't going to smash off jump, then you (as the man) shouldn't be willing to treat her on a date, off jump.

Ever think about that one?

Living in a Midwestern state where passive-aggressiveness is actually one of the cliche's and slogans, I've thought about it more than you could fathom. I have done direct/indirect tons of times in my life(My first 1000 approaches are all on record) and I found a combination of both works very well for me. I have tailored my game to basically get the best results possible. So yes I take women on walks/coffee dates etc. Due to the fact that not every chick is willing to come through to give me that guak guak 9000 of rip.

Let me say this, for me at my age I'm not focus on quick sex or even one-night stands been there done that. My game now is evolving in regards to companionship and a woman breaking bread, something a lot of members here are not in the realm to speak of.

Now, I'm not saying she has to be willing to smash immediately..but she has to show genuine receptiveness to your sexual escalation...and this doesn't always have to be physical...it could be verbal.

If you're looking to smash easy pumpum I totally agree with this, why waste your time on a chick who is cold or lukewarm. I totally get this and agree with you on this

Of course, you might be thinking "that shiit won't work".

And my response is simple; most of the dudes on here that are taking women on dates, are the same dudes that are getting flaked on...and are the same dudes that are here seeking advice.

So obviously, the take her out on a date shiit ain't working...and even if you do manage to smash after taking them on 2-3 dates...guess what...you basically paid for the puzzy.

Tsk, tsk.

I will say now that you clarified it a bit more with context what you says makes more sense. However we both know if you're dealing with a chick, especially a baddie. Sometimes you have to take them out. It's just the reality even for guys who are celebs or ballers they gotta take a bop out every now and then. That doesn't mean a baddie won't come through to smash. But I found that if you do something especially with summer coming up like walking while getting ice cream, coffee etc. These things don't break the bank. However once again I don't disagree with you because to me it sounds like your game is based on getting pumpum my game is moreso on hitting them pockets,

 

[john1234]

"Okay cool, thanks for letting me know."

That's it! Do not act frustrated, pissed off, guilt trip, call her out etc etc.

This comes from Blaine Anderson (female), a professional dating coach. Are any of you guys familiar?

This article was in my feed this morning and thought it was pretty spot on!

The 7-Word Text Message to Send if Someone Cancels Your Date

Blaine Anderson, a professional dating coach, has revealed the simple and easy text message to send someone if they cancel their date with you. Dating in 2025 is tough. While there's a seemingly endless supply of matches in dating apps like Hinge or Raya, it's difficult to actually have a...

www.yahoo.com

Blocked ! Plenty of fish in the sea.

 

[Pandora]

Sit down and do a spiritual journey inward.

Lol i know it sounds weird and silly. If a man is truly living a life full of fun stuff he would not care that much.

When we dont have much else going on is when we put a lot of importance on these flakey women.

If you are had an abundant life then you would not mind too much. This is the indiferrence that she is screening for when she flakes.

 

[Pandora]

Flaking is bad. It's disrespectful. I'd personally call out that behavior, otherwise I feel like a doormat that's enabling that behavior. A bit off my chest too

You said you had no emotional control. How did you react back then? Did you resort to insults, call them out, or what? And how do you respond now?

Naw man dont call it out. Trust me on this. Thats the worst thing you can do in the early stages. When you guys become gf and bf then you can call it out.

Remember deep down they know that it is rude. They are subconsciously screening you to see if you are mentally stable..trust me on this.

That same girl would not flake on Brad Pitt. What turns women on is indifference. If you act like " okay I got another girl I can call and I got this cool thing I can do" it will make her wet.

Just ignore it and go fuk with another girl. She does not want to matter to you yet.

This one chick literally told me " you are just mad that I kept flaking on you". This is after I called her out and I called her other names too . We had sex after 2 " dates". Then she would tell me she was coming over, i would clear my schedule, then she would flake. She did this more than once. So I lost it.

Bro they know what they are doing. They are masters of manipulation. It will send a clearer message to just act like she is not that important. If you call her out she is gonna get freaked out and play the victim.

Btw when I was a teenager I would just get sad when I got flaked on. When I got older I would text them that they need to respect my time. Both are bad moves. Just ignore.

Flaking happens at all levels. Its part of being a chick. I went on a date with an ugly girl. Went back to her house the 3rd date. We reconnected years later on a dating app and she flaked on me! After I had already been in her house years before. I called her out and she took no accountibility and just got weird. So dont call em out. You not dealing with a logical creature.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

Living in a Midwestern state where passive-aggressiveness is actually one of the cliche's and slogans, I've thought about it more than you could fathom.

What part of the Midwest?

I hail from Michigan.

I have done direct/indirect tons of times in my life(My first 1000 approaches are all on record)

Over 1000 approaches is impressive.

and I found a combination of both works very well for me. I have tailored my game to basically get the best results possible.

I've tailored my game as well.

The core principles remains the same, just tweaking some things here and there, based on the trend(s).

So yes I take women on walks/coffee dates etc.

Again, as do I.

And during that first walk, I check her temperature by escalating shiit (getting physical)...reading her body language and demeanor.

If she passes that test, THEN we can discuss dates.

Due to the fact that not every chick is willing to come through to give me that guak guak 9000 of rip.

Exactly.

Even if she ain't willing to come through and give me that Becky , she gotta be receptive towards my mere touch..and she also have to be receptive to my conversation(s) about sex.

No pay-dates until either of those two are checked off the list.

The problems that guys have is; they pay for dates before she checks off those two.

Bad gamble, in my opinion.

Let me say this, for me at my age I'm not focus on quick sex or even one-night stands been there done that. My game now is evolving in regards to companionship and a woman breaking bread, something a lot of members here are not in the realm to speak of.

Understood.

If that's where you are in your life, ain't nothing wrong with it.

But, even with that said...I would still recommend against pay-dates...and as you already know; walks and at the very least, a coffee date should be the most simplistic approach during the early courtship phase.

Sounds like you know how to play the game.

If you're looking to smash easy pumpum I totally agree with this, why waste your time on a chick who is cold or lukewarm. I totally get this and agree with you on this

But see, the whole "easy pumpum" thing..I look at it different.

My mindset is, "What was easy for me, would have been difficult for you".

In other words, she saw something in me that made it easy...

Not only does that put things in a completely different light....but I believe there is actual merit to it...which gets overlooked.

I will say now that you clarified it a bit more with context what you says makes more sense. However we both know if you're dealing with a chick, especially a baddie.

Sometimes you have to take them out. It's just the reality even for guys who are celebs or ballers they gotta take a bop out every now and then. That doesn't mean a baddie won't come through to smash. But I found that if you do something especially with summer coming up like walking while getting ice cream, coffee etc. These things don't break the bank. However once again I don't disagree with you because to me it sounds like your game is based on getting pumpum my game is moreso on hitting them pockets,

Bro, we think alike...and I cant say that I disagree much with how you operate.

But I do want to offer some pushback..regarding what you said about a "baddie".

I'm gonna shout you out on a thread I plan to post later...you'll see.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

Lol i know it sounds weird and silly. If a man is truly living a life full of fun stuff he would not care that much.

When we dont have much else going on is when we put a lot of importance on these flakey women.

If you are had an abundant life then you would not mind too much. This is the indiferrence that she is screening for when she flakes.

This is some real shiit.

 

[john1234]

Naw man dont call it out. Trust me on this. Thats the worst thing you can do in the early stages. When you guys become gf and bf then you can call it out.

Remember deep down they know that it is rude. They are subconsciously screening you to see if you are mentally stable..trust me on this.

That same girl would not flake on Brad Pitt. What turns women on is indifference. If you act like " okay I got another girl I can call and I got this cool thing I can do" it will make her wet.

Just ignore it and go fuk with another girl. She does not want to matter to you yet.

This one chick literally told me " you are just mad that I kept flaking on you". This is after I called her out and I called her other names too . We had sex after 2 " dates". Then she would tell me she was coming over, i would clear my schedule, then she would flake. She did this more than once. So I lost it.

Bro they know what they are doing. They are masters of manipulation. It will send a clearer message to just act like she is not that important. If you call her out she is gonna get freaked out and play the victim.

Btw when I was a teenager I would just get sad when I got flaked on. When I got older I would text them that they need to respect my time. Both are bad moves. Just ignore.

Flaking happens at all levels. Its part of being a chick. I went on a date with an ugly girl. Went back to her house the 3rd date. We reconnected years later on a dating app and she flaked on me! After I had already been in her house years before. I called her out and she took no accountibility and just got weird. So dont call em out. You not dealing with a logical creature.

I think he should block them if the flake is not genuine , because they are making a fool outta him otherwise. Why should he even consider becoming BF and GF with her.

Most times they flake because they are getting humped by their preferred choice.

 

[Pandora]

I think he should block them if the flake is not genuine , because they are making a fool outta him otherwise. Why should he even consider becoming BF and GF with her.

Most times they flake because they are getting humped by their preferred choice.

Yeh i agree. Just block. Or if you are really mentally grounded dont even block. If a fat chick flaked on you would you even block?

That worst thing you can do is act like it effected you. They get satisfaction from this. Women read books on this stuff. They also been practicing social guerilla warfare since they were a kid.

Its best to get to the point in life where you expect the flake and it does not bother you. You got better things to worry about. Like the 5 other girls in your phone or that boxing match you are training for etc.

 

[JacquesMemoirs]

If she cancels my response is usually nothing until a couple days later I will pitch her a new date idea

but when I have a lot of options she may not hear from me for a week or more unless she initiates something

If a woman calls off a date that’s fine by me, it’s okay to try again another time or not

 

[Dash Riprock]

Forget about her is the correct answer.

I can't remember a time when a girl cancelled on me and ever reached out again. I'm sure I've asked a couple hundred out.

This.

There really is no debate unless a person (guy) is really desperate.

High-interest women don't cancel dates, and if they do as life does happen, they will make every effort to reschedule quickly and provide a viable reason.

If I get a text saying "Sorry, I can't meet on Friday" or some s*it, I read it, don't reply, and move on. And as @The Duke said, I can't recall when one actually reached out later after I ghosted them to try to reschedule. Women have huge, over-inflated egos these days so 99.9% of the time they won't reach out again even if they want to as it puts their pride in play.

Happy hunting.
~Dash

 

[Sega Genesis]

IF get a text saying "Sorry, I can't meet on Friday" or some s*it, I read it, don't reply,

If a woman words it like that (cold with no remorse or sincere apology), it's not just a cancel but a complete blow off!

In which case, in addition to what Blaine Anderson advised in my OP, not replying would be okay too!

I agree that when a woman is interested unless it's extremely personal, she really should tell you the reason and apologize.

And let you know she'd still like to get together even if she didn't know when at that particular time.

I'm not a guy so can't claim to know what y'all experience however I do know that some women do play games and jerk men around so your responses are all valid.

However, there's never a 'one size fits all,' as @BeExcellent said earlier, dating is nuanced, never black and white where there's just one right response.

It's how she cancels, her words, her tone, whether she's apologetic etc. that should determine what your response should be.

Sincerely,
Sega G (formerly known as catsmeow )

 

[Divorced w 3]

I am glad I am not the only one who realized awhile back this is "catsmeow", "catsmeow2" in her newest disguise. I honestly don't mind her posting here -- but the new handles are completely unnecessary.

Catfish’sMeow

I don’t personally get the emotional attachment from some random person that canceled after one or two dates (unless, maybe, there was a lot of dialogue - but that shouldn’t be a thing for anyone spending any real time here).

If someone cancels with no follow up , just let them walk.

I had a few hinge texts with a woman last week, moved it to a phone call, and then I ghosted her and she called me and texted me multiple times after looking for a date.

So if you’re me, do you go out with that woman? Does she seem as if you get her in bed that things go easy or does it seem like fatal attraction?

Put the shoe on the other foot.