Best friend is blue pill and relationship is failing

[ohrein]

My best bud is blue pill and is having relationship problems. I've realized I'm completely unequipped to deal with giving advice to those who are still plugged in. He obviously thinks he can have conversations with her about fixing things but from what I've observed and been told, she's checking out of the relationship which means it's probably too late. They live together and she is a lot more financially successful than him and he's mentioned that he thinks that's one of the issues. Her behavior has suddenly become very erratic and she's very unhappy all the time. He thinks it's depression but I think she's lost attraction.

Whatever happens I'm going to finally give him my copy of The Rational Male but I just don't think there's anything I can do for him now and it sucks. I actually really like his girlfriend, too. I've even considered talking to her and maybe telling her to fight her hypergamy (in disguised language). We're close enough that I think it might have an impact, I know she respects me.

I realize there's probably nothing I can do but I thought I'd see if the brains trust had any advice for me.

 

[AttackFormation]

The best you can do for your friend right now is to get this over with quickly and set him up for rebounding his life faster after this is over. Make sure he doesn't start drinking, keeps working out or starts doing so if he doesn't, keeps seeing his friends and doing his hobbies, talking to other and new women, etc.

The fact that she makes a lot more money than he does, especially if that wasn't always the case, is certainly a contributing factor. She thinks she can upgrade. He probably doesn't have any arousing traits left at this point to make up for that.

 

[R.U.G.]

Have him come here and read some of these stories. If that doesn't sway him a bit, nothing will.

 

[CMNILS87]

Hypergamy man, she knows she better than him and can get better. She’s the breadwinner and she holds the pants in the relationship

 

[skinnyguy]

Experience helped me a lot more than any book did.

Let him get stomped on. He will benefit from it.!

 

[Spaz]

Everyone needs to fail in order to learn. There's no stopping that, it's part of the learning process.

When a women losses attraction it's pretty much game over at that point, attraction can be rekindled once she's been away and the man has shown a major shift in positive character changes. But by then it's more then likely she's an after thought.

It's always best to look from afar when a close friend is facing personal problems, be present when he talks, and only step in when he asks for help or when things get out of hand - drug/alcohol abuse etc.

 

[Roober]

It's best to ask questions to get to your points. Phrase the questions to get the answer "yes" as much as possible. I had a buddy who refused to listen after his exwife cheated on him and now he has gained 30 lbs and is dating a large woman, the first woman he met after his exwife.

You have to make them think a good idea is their idea and that is the only way to sway them. Dont push your book or anything. If he is blue pill, he is very likely to look at the rational male as some extremely misogynist BS.

Start him with something much lighter like David Deida or Corey Wayne.

 

[Dingo]

Nothing you can do...

He is the only one that can take the bitter pill...

Help him pick up the pieces...

 

[flowtheory]

You know how hard it is to change yourself. Now think about how hard it is to change other people. Now think about how hard it is to change two people who have operated together in a relationship while living together.

There’s nothing you can do, and you shouldn’t worry about it because it’s useless. People make their own decisions about what they believe is best for them. She’s making hers and he’s failing to recognize he’s her issue.

If it all falls out, be there for him, and don’t let him die in a foxhole when she walks for greener pastures.

Then once his tears are dry. Tell him that it was all his fault and he needs to get better and slap him across the face with the rational male book. And yell as you’re walking away “You’ve got work to do. Welcome to the real world!!”

 

[ohrein]

I think you're all right, I don't think there's anything I can do. I will give him the book and look after him if the worst happens. Thanks for the advice.

 

[RangerMIke]

Hypergamy man, she knows she better than him and can get better. She’s the breadwinner and she holds the pants in the relationship

Sad truth here. I know very few relationships that are happy, where the chick makes more money.

The basic difference between men and women in relationships is that men typically play to win: women play not to lose. If she is in a relationship with a man, and believes she can do better... she feels like she is losing, and has $crewed the pooch being with him, and will punch out if given the chance: a man will continue to try and 'win', make sh1t work.