Being too ****y.......?

[Soprano]

i recently met up with a girl i've only talked to through facebook & phone (we have mutual friends), and right before she was about to arrive i was bored waiting and texted her...

me: there's something i need to tell u before u meet me the 1st time
her: huh? what?
me: im even better lookin in person

yeah i know im an ass lol wasnt something i put thought into just sent it cuz i thought it was funny, but anyways... she texted back "hahaha" and we went out but she acted to me a lot less sweet and nice than she had been before, almost shut off, and not taking anything i said as truth, like she thought i was just a total *******/player and lost hope....

similar behavior on another date (which i posted a field report about actually), where i said something really ****y and we messed around but she never returned my call after that....

why is it? just because i was being an ass and said something stupid? is it not a good idea to be so ****y overall, did i over-do it? or am i just overanalyzing?

wasn't really thinking of consequences or game when i said it, it just made me laugh so i said it lol both times

 

[Scars]

Sometimes over-qualification is a bad thing. It just makes you seem like a prick. I'm all for C+F but I usually only do that early on in the game, because to me C+F is an attraction tool. Once she's attracted then you just got to work on escalating and keeping that sexual frame. You should still bust their balls and tease them from time to time, but don't over do it.

 

[TheSplat]

It sounds like you're bragging/qualifying yourself to her. You can pull ****y and funny without sounding like an ass. You could have sent her a text instead that said "I bet you're really nervous. Hope you don't get the hiccups, that would be embarrassing." Or something like that. Anyway, good work and keep up the field reports

 

[JDA70]

I aggree with TheSplat. You sounded like you were bragging
and maybe she is one of those girls out there that isn't attracted to that.

yeah i know im an ass lol wasnt something i put thought into just sent it cuz i thought it was funny

Thats actually a good thing because a lot of guys are all stuck in thier heads
and are all worried about what to say and sh1t.
You thought of something funny and you did it. Bravo to you.
Have no regrets about it.

 

[WC2]

You're trying too hard. It would be better to just take the date as it comes and crack jokes when the opportunity arises--not just randomly to try to gain some sort of ground on her.

If anything she should be the one telling you that she's better looking in person. If anything she should be going out of her way to try to make you laugh. This is why it's so nice to let women do a lot of the footwork on the date. Feminist always shrug at this idea, but in reality women LIKE to do some footwork. It's just another form of a challenge for them.

Personally, when I go on a first date I'm very subdued in the beginning. Small talk and such, and then you'll notice that SHE will start pushing more and showing signs of wanting you to come out. She'll start asking you questions, etc. If you act nervous by saying nonsense like this, women detect it and see it as neediness. Just play it cool and ease into her gradually. Light C&F is a good way to get her started and it makes the date entertaining. And that's the ONLY goal of a first date; to make it entertaining.

You don't need to make some grand entrance or pregame text message to 'prepare' her for what's to come. That's corny and honestly women don't fall for it anymore. If both you and her have a good time on the first date and you've made her laugh consistently, then it's a win-win, as long as you haven't shown too many of your cards (aka trying to hard).

 

[Soprano]

i dunno i just gotta bad sense of humor i guess. like another time we were talking about when she was at the hospital up north and had to wear a mask (along with everyone else) because of a swine flu outbreak in the area and blah blah and eventually she said "well if you go have fun wearing those ugly masks" i said "its alright ill make 'em look good" she said "(laughs) suuure"

i dont say stuff like that to try an advance anything its just what naturally comes outta my mouth. although the example i gave in my OP was definitely a result of boredom since she was running late in traffic

 

[Nexus Polaris]

I pretty much agree with everybody else. It does sound like you're trying a little too hard instead of just letting it come naturally. Although I didn't see anything wrong with that text you sent her. Sounds like something I'd do.

I've found that ideally it's best to mix còcky and funny with a little self deprecation. This shows that you value yourself but don't take yourself too seriously. Women typically seem to find this endearing as it's sort of a best of both worlds.

For example, in a public place I might do something like this:


Me: "You better do what I tell you. I could replace you just like that, you know." *snaps fingers*

her: "Oh really?"

Me: "Watch!" *walks up to the nearest attractive girl*

"So hey, this girl totally sucks, I'm looking for a replacement. What do you say we go grab a drink?"

*and then faking like I'm saying this under my breath but loudly enough for girl #1 to hear it*

".....Just go along with it. I'll give you like $20 bucks or something. I'm trying to make her think I have options."


This usually gets a big laugh out of both of them.

 

[Waking Up]

Intention is a huge part. The thing about C&F is it's better to focus it on her, not trying to add value to yourself. If you try too hard to verbalize that you're awesome women can smell the fakeness. Since you are the prize you don't have to say anything like that to her. Genuinely teasing her from time to time (hint: genuine, not forced) is far more effective. Keep the focus on her.

 

[Jitterbug]

It's all about timing & being situational. That one came out of the blue and thus is rather try-hard and lame.