Being the Prize.

[LinkinParkROX]

Halfway through a date yesterday, I noticed I was pretty much treating the HB as the prize, instead of the other way around. Thinking about it more, I realized this isn't the first time I've done this. Can anyone help? How do I be the prize, get her to try to impress me & stuff.

 

[scrouds]

Gotta work on that internal game.

You gotta believe you are the shiit. Only once you have that down, can you work on projecting that to other people.

 

[She_feelin_Me]

I have a ****y attitude but im not an ******* with it, its just that im too confident and I dont let anything bother me...Something you have to practice on and view each girl as if she is qualifying for you and not the other way around.

 

[zekko]

If she's really an HB maybe she is the prize. The question is, do you have any reason to feel you are a prize? You should be able to explain what you have going for you that make you a catch, and if you can't come up with anything all you have is a bunch of false confidence with nothing to back it up. That's one reason there's a focus on self improvement here.

But even if you don't have any reason to think you're the prize, fake it anyway. You might be able to fool her long enough to have a nice experience out of it.

 

[Negative_Nancy]

Tell her you like a b1tch that can cook

then have her make you dinner

 

[EFFORT]

I'd let go of the whole prize concept. Men and women complement each other. Your value to her is being a man and her value to you is being a women. So focus on becoming a Man, get in touch with your masculine energy. Here some stuff to get you started.

- Listen/Watch the Blue Print by RSD
- Lift weights, play sports
-Martial Arts
- Read The Way of the Superior Man
-Travel as much as you can, Couchsurfing.com
- Learn about different cultures (and visit them see above)
- Approach Women
- Listen/Watch on Being a Man from David D
- Become independent if you aren't already
- Practice Public Speaking ( toastmasters.org)
- Learn to play a musical instrument
- Pick up a lot of interesting hobbies
- Become friends with a lot of different types of people from different backgrounds and upbringings
- Live life

 

[Duffdog]

I'd let go of the whole prize concept. Men and women complement each other. Your value to her is being a man and her value to you is being a women. So focus on becoming a Man, get in touch with your masculine energy. Here some stuff to get you started.

- Listen/Watch the Blue Print by RSD
- Lift weights, play sports
-Martial Arts
- Read The Way of the Superior Man
-Travel as much as you can, Couchsurfing.com
- Learn about different cultures (and visit them see above)
- Approach Women
- Listen/Watch on Being a Man from David D
- Become independent if you aren't already
- Practice Public Speaking ( toastmasters.org)
- Learn to play a musical instrument
- Pick up a lot of interesting hobbies
- Become friends with a lot of different types of people from different backgrounds and upbringings
- Live life

So, do you feel that none of this makes you a "prize" even though you have let go of the concept?

 

[EFFORT]

So, do you feel that none of this makes you a "prize" even though you have let go of the concept?

If you wanna use the prize concept then yeah following that path would lead you towards prize land.

A lot of people really apply the prize concept wrong and end up coming off with a delusional fake confidence full of blind spots. Or over analyze if there being the prize or not. So i say just forget it all together.

 

[wjh]

You shouldn't forget the concept altogether.

EFFORT, if someone lacks the reading comprehension to understand the prize concept, they're certainly not going to take all of your recommendations with any sort of clarity on why.

While I agree with what you're saying, EFFORT, I disagree that becoming the prize, with all of its due confidence, isn't something worth striving for.

I understand the man/woman complimenting aspect, from a spiritual point of view, but that takes maturity and a lot of experience to hone and embrace.

Confidence is the key - Understanding that you bring a lot to the table and are worthy of the type of girls you want to date. If you don't feel that way, and you're prizing her, you need to close the chasm by taking the necessary steps to increase your confidence. For some it's a life's passion, like an awesome career. For others it's bodybuilding, or a combination of things. The point is that you have to look within yourself and imagine yourself as your ideal person and strive for it. You may never hit that ideal, that's not the point, it's the journey. As you partake in the journey you steadily gain more and more confidence. Meanwhile, you double your gaming efforts, to grow thick skin, reduce your approach anxiety, and get more experience.

You'll eventually get to a point where you're confident in who you are, but also understand game well enough so that you don't make dumb rookie mistakes. Your internal game (confidence) and external game (interactions with women) must be in equilibrium.

 

[zekko]

The concept of being the prize is the same thing as the concept of value. You're trying to convince her that you have higher value than she does, because that increases the odds of her being attracted to you.

 

[slaog]

I have changed my thinking to now believe that I'm the prize. It didn't happen by changing everything about my life. Instead I just realised that you value yourself/You make yourself the prize. If you think you're the prize it attracts women.

The concept of being the prize is the same thing as the concept of value. You're trying to convince her that you have higher value than she does, because that increases the odds of her being attracted to you.

 

[wjh]

^ That's false confidence. That's a false perception of yourself.

You're simply acting.

But overall, false bravado trumps being shy any day of the week. I suppose if it's a binary decision, one over the other, sure "faking" works better.

The whole point is to have this come with ease. One problem with "faking" it, is that your baseline behavior, to a woman, only seems genuine. So when you're past the attraction phase of a relationship, and then fail her moderate sh1t-tests, she quickly dumps you, resents you, or flakes on you because you're not the man she thought you were. You passed her initial tests in the attraction phase of the pickup, but failed the rest onward.

It's been said on here, and it's a great way to look at it. You go from trying all kinds of gimmicks, ploys, whatever, because you have nothing to lose. Then, once you "got" her, you feel as if you "finally" got a girl by these tricks that aren't natural to you. So you switch from having nothing to lose, to holding the line. You subconsciously develop a supplicating mentality, where you fear taking chances and running game on her like you did before, because you feel like now you do have something to lose.

The key is to embrace your masculinity, improve yourself while growing your confidence, and approach women legitimately (not necessarily directly), with your own style and personality.

The gimmicks and tricks that are often talked about in the seduction community only serve to break you out of your shell and out in the world. They're for amateurs. You have to get used to approaching girls, reducing your approach anxiety, and building up the proverbial scar-tissue that comes with getting rejected. THEN your fear largely subsides, or is manageable, and THEN you can truly pick up with the real confidence that the real DJs have.

It takes effort, though. And I'm afraid some guys are just looking for an easy trick to get them laid.

Becoming great doesn't happen by accident.

 

[Phenomenal One]

^ That's false confidence. That's a false perception of yourself.

You're simply acting.

But overall, false bravado trumps being shy any day of the week. I suppose if it's a binary decision, one over the other, sure "faking" works better.

The whole point is to have this come with ease. One problem with "faking" it, is that your baseline behavior, to a woman, only seems genuine. So when you're past the attraction phase of a relationship, and then fail her moderate sh1t-tests, she quickly dumps you, resents you, or flakes on you because you're not the man she thought you were. You passed her initial tests in the attraction phase of the pickup, but failed the rest onward.

It's been said on here, and it's a great way to look at it. You go from trying all kinds of gimmicks, ploys, whatever, because you have nothing to lose. Then, once you "got" her, you feel as if you "finally" got a girl by these tricks that aren't natural to you. So you switch from having nothing to lose, to holding the line. You subconsciously develop a supplicating mentality, where you fear taking chances and running game on her like you did before, because you feel like now you do have something to lose.

The key is to embrace your masculinity, improve yourself while growing your confidence, and approach women legitimately (not necessarily directly), with your own style and personality.

The gimmicks and tricks that are often talked about in the seduction community only serve to break you out of your shell and out in the world. They're for amateurs. You have to get used to approaching girls, reducing your approach anxiety, and building up the proverbial scar-tissue that comes with getting rejected. THEN your fear largely subsides, or is manageable, and THEN you can truly pick up with the real confidence that the real DJs have.

It takes effort, though. And I'm afraid some guys are just looking for an easy trick to get them laid.

Becoming great doesn't happen by accident.

"Faking it" is bad only when you have'nt progressed to the point were you don't need to.

alot of guys start out with nothing,
so they have to use those gimmicks and tricks.

those two things build them up so buy a certain point they don't need to use em.

just because i don't feel confident does'nt mean i won't become confident by acting like i am.

 

[slaog]

^ That's false confidence. That's a false perception of yourself.

You're simply acting.

Then whats a true perception of yourself. I don't believe its false because you're not fooling youself into believing you're something you're not. If somebody thinks they're the prize they'll act like the prize and so it becomes true.

 

[wjh]

"Faking it" is bad only when you have'nt progressed to the point were you don't need to.

alot of guys start out with nothing,
so they have to use those gimmicks and tricks.

those two things build them up so buy a certain point they don't need to use em.

just because i don't feel confident does'nt mean i won't become confident by asking like i am.

I wasn't disagreeing brotha.

As long as you keep perspective

 

[wjh]

Then whats a true perception of yourself. I don't believe its false because you're not fooling youself into believing you're something you're not. If somebody thinks they're the prize they'll act like the prize and so it becomes true.

Simply wishing or verbalizing that you'll have confidence isn't enough.

Pumping yourself up for a night might work for a couple of approaches, but it won't last. There needs to be a solid core of fundamentally high self-esteem.

Without, you'll only last so long before you resent the game altogether.

I won't deny the power of faking it till you make it, but without real growth, you'll never actually make it. Step A (faking it) only works as a stepping stone if you actually take it to Step B (making it).

Obviously this is only my opinion, but I'm also speaking from experience. I tried for so long to be C&F, little body language gimmicks, negs, etc. and when it wouldn't work I would get frustrated because I wasn't believing in my own abilities - I was putting all my faith not in myself, but in these tools. Without my core being strong, I was a fraud.

 

[Phenomenal One]

I wasn't disagreeing brotha.

As long as you keep perspective

oh ok

 

[Ease]

fake it till you make it

You fake confidence if you need to. U can fill in the missing parts as u progress.

It sounds vague but i think that to 'be the prize' completely it is important to work on inner game. Iv realized that iv done a lot of improvement in inner game and it shows now as i can truely be the prize both in my mind and with girls. Do all of the things that Effort listed and u will develop it naturally.

Untill then, fake it till you make it if u need to lol.

 

[fertileTurtle]

Of course you are the prize. You are man, you are superior. You just have to find out why. That takes work and dedication. Now get to it kid.

 

[fertileTurtle]

Pumping yourself up for a night might work for a couple of approaches, but it won't last.

Hey doing that will take you far.