Being the prize. AKA "The Dmitri Trap"

[Canadian Catnip]

Hi guys.

I've been reading pick up material for some time now and at first I was confused by the "Be the Prize" comments I read or saw.

Many guys fall into the Dmitri trap and start acting like jerks and have really no understanding of what a prize is.

If you can get through this period you will come to realize that what they are really saying is not to pretend to be the prize. They are not saying to do nothing to change yourself but only act as if you are a prize.

Be the prize means, make yourself into a man that women want or "Prize".

I have fallen into the trap of believing also that it was simply a mental change that was required, fortunately not as bad as poor Dmitri.

Being the prize means to me to do everything I can to better myself.

Here are some of the things I have done or am doing to make myself into a more prized man.

Fix a gap in my teeth.
Have laser skin treatment for large pores on my nose.
Get some nicer furniture for my apartment.
New bed. Nice sheets.
Newer car, keep car clean at all times.
Keep apartment clean at all times.
Wash myself more often. Brush teeth and floss.
Always carry breath mints.
Buy nicer clothing. Iron my clothes before I wear them.
Nice shoes, keep them clean.
Keep my hair trimmed and neat. Trim down below.
Work out, push ups and weights.

Those are some of the steps I have taken physically. I would classify these other things to be social changes.

Smile more.
Say hello first. offer to shake hands. More kino upfront.
Listen to others, don't judge what they are saying.
Think positive. Plan for a bright future.
Talk to strangers. Great for practicing social skills.
Work on my body language, Learn how to stand, walk and sit.
Visualize the improvements I want.

So don't fall into the Dmitri trap and believe that in order to be a prize you have just pretend.

You have to realize that in order to attract women you have to be attractive to them. No matter how much you like a women it will not attract her to you.

OK to some of you this may seem completely obvious but this is for the Dmitri's out there.

 

[slaog]

Its a mindset. believe you are the prize. Doesn't mean you have to be a jerk but if you believe you are the prize then the woman picks up on this.

When you are the prize you're not putting women on pedestals and telling her (subconsciously) that you have high value. If you put her on a pedestal then you're telling her you have lower value then her. This is a built in instinct women have and it's why they don't like men who put them on pedestals.

 

[Playboy]

I think the origional poster is quite confused.

Being the prize is VERY MUCH a state of mind and a frame. The only problem is that if you don't BELIEVE it YOURSELF and have decided that you need to be all these things in order to believe that your the prize. That's cool too. Whatever floats yer boat. Some people are happy feeling like a prize just the way they are, and we don't need women or anyone else to validate those feelings because we are the prize, so why would we need anyone else to confirm that for us?

 

[DarthAngel707]

Who the hell is Dmitri?

 

[Playboy]

Who the hell is Dmitri?

Dimitri used to be a part of charisma arts but brached off to start his own business for pickup. Recently a woman posted some voicemails that he left her. The voicemails were very arrogant, egotistical, and bordering psychotic.

The origional poster in this thread mistook Dimitri for trying to display a prize frame being the reason he came off creepy. In actuallity what he was doing was listing off all the REASONS why he is a catch and she must be crazy not to be calling him back. His voicemail rambled on for a few minutes where he would alternate between qualifying to the girl why he is such a prize and how foolish she is being to not call him back -- and then would flip flop to questioning HER prizability and attempting to screen her. It was a huge mess. This Dimitri guy is messed up.

In actually Dimitri's mistake was mainly his ego. Also if you believe your the prize you dont brag and try to shove it down someones throat, you wouldn't need to. The credentials Dimitri talked about if true certainly show him to be a prize but listing them off to others just shows insecurities. Also you dont leave a long winded message on a voicemail. Dimitri was getting ahead of himself and rambling to a machine.

Anyways the bottom line point is that origional poster is a bit confused by all this right now and seeking to try to find his reality and figure things out when it comes to all this.

In the end -- again -- being the prize is a mindset. There are cute little lines for it, but being the prize is about certain mindsets and actions and you have to choose to see yourself as the prize. Some people feel they need things they don't have in order to be the prize, they can't ever be happy with who they are or what they have. That's another issue altogether. Certainly anything you can do to make your prize frame more solid in your own mind is beneficial.

 

[Corey]

Don't forget some decent aftershave <3

 

[Mr. Me]

I think the OP has it right: he's saying that the mental perspective of it is not the end all, be all, catch all; and to beware that carrying that mind set doesn't turn you into an arrogant, egotistical pr1ck.

He's saying to make manifestation of that prize mind set in every thing you say and do: the way you carry yourself, the way you groom, dress, take care of yourself and your property. He's saying to strive to be a better man among men. A true prize.

And I couldn't agree more.

 

[Playboy]

I think the OP has it right: he's saying that the mental perspective of it is not the end all, be all, catch all; and to beware that carrying that mind set doesn't turn you into an arrogant, egotistical pr1ck.

He's saying to make manifestation of that prize mind set in every thing you say and do: the way you carry yourself, the way you groom, dress, take care of yourself and your property. He's saying to strive to be a better man among men. A true prize.

And I couldn't agree more.

mmmm yummy sounding.

Well sure when you put it that way, and there's nothing wrong about that.

Of course the problem is that you can ALWAYS find reasons why your NOT the prize if that's what you want to focus on. You can ALWAYS find an excuse, something you don't have or that your not in the moment. You can always find a guy that's taller with bigger muscles and a cooler shirt on out at the bar, especially if Im there.

Seriously though what do you do when you find there is a spot on your shirt? hmmm? Didn't make it to they gym today? Are you still the prize?!?!? Oh **** Im sorry did your BMW just end up in the ditch and get destroyed? Oh **** there goes that prize frame.

Look no ones perfect and if you attach feeling like the prize to external events or things you must do you are in for incosistancy. Basing the prize on external things and actions is not the true meaning of what they mean when they tell you to be the prize. It's a mindset. It's an attitude. It's about putting yourself first and talking to people in order to find out if THEY are good enough for YOU. Now shoving it down others throats and being obnoxious about it, well that's uncalibrated.

 

[I'm Charming]

Being a prize implies you have value, being an egotistical douchebag shows you are insecure and worthless. Therefore, do not.

The mistake many beginning Don Juans make is thinking that they are the prize when they are not improving themselves - and if you're not getting any better you are getting worse. Simultaneously whilst no-one wants their birthday presents to be wrapped up dog crap, no-body wants their friends and partners to be maladjusted retards with the impression that they are worth more than they really are.

 

[Playboy]

Being a prize implies you have value, being an egotistical douchebag shows you are insecure and worthless. Therefore, do not.

The mistake many beginning Don Juans make is thinking that they are the prize when they are not improving themselves - and if you're not getting any better you are getting worse. Simultaneously whilst no-one wants their birthday presents to be wrapped up dog crap, no-body wants their friends and partners to be maladjusted retards with the impression that they are worth more than they really are.

Right.

Perhaps an example will help as this is a very important concept.

Guy A dresses up to go to the bar, he throws on his shades and his best outfit. He works out and cleans his house. He takes some actions to get ahead in the world today for a better tomorrow. As he heads out the door he sprays some pimpjuice on and gets to struttin.

He gets out to the bar and there she is. She is 6 feet tall with an angelic face, big eyes, and a style so sharp he just wants to pick her up over her shoulder and carry her back to his cave. His heart starts to pound. Im the prize man, he says to himself. He goes up approaches her and they get to talking. He tells her to stop looking at him with lust in her eyes, he has the prize frame going on. Suddenly she says:

Im not looking at you like that, it's not like that at all and whats up with that shirt? Are you gay??

Now Guy A thinks he's the prize and the girl is trying to tell him that he's not. If guy A doesn't believe he actually IS the prize then of course he will try to convince her that he is or maybe he will lose all the steam from his sails, tuck his tail in the corner, and run and hide. Maybe he gets defensive.

If he believes he is the prize though then he finds this hilarious. He narrows his eyes and tilts his head looking at her suspiciously or he just starts laughing and is like "damn woman your pretty damn funny, maybe I should hire you as my fashion consultant or something?" or maybe he says something like "Your so naughty, I don't know if my mom would approve." or maybe he is just like " yea ummm thanks" and starts looking around the room or turns to a friend or another set and starts talking unphased because he is unphased and has decided she's not up his alley because he is not in the mood for her right now.

do you see the difference?

I hope so.

Keep in mind though that the difference isn't in the lines, it's in the mindset.

If your the prize than your the prize period and no one can take that away from you, if you arn't the prize than you begin to grasp at straws when someone challenges your frame.

Oh and sorry about not having a guy B, I got lazy.

 

[Mr. Me]

Seriously though what do you do when you find there is a spot on your shirt? hmmm? Didn't make it to they gym today? Are you still the prize?!?!? Oh **** Im sorry did your BMW just end up in the ditch and get destroyed? Oh **** there goes that prize frame.

If you were the prize, you'd know the answer to that.

Of course the problem is that you can ALWAYS find reasons why your NOT the prize if that's what you want to focus on.

That's kind of a negative way to look at it. The positive way is to acknowledge where you can do better, just like you would in your career or weight training or education or whatever.

Do we sit around thinking how we're so stupid and that's why we get an education or is it that we strive to be more skilled and knowledgeable and for that reason get the education we may lack?

It's a mindset. It's an attitude. It's about putting yourself first and talking to people in order to find out if THEY are good enough for YOU.

Great, so basing it on that, shouldn't it then by nature infuse itself in everything you do, which would include it being congruent with the way you take care of yourself and present yourself?

 

[Playboy]

If you were the prize, you'd know the answer to that.



That's kind of a negative way to look at it. The positive way is to acknowledge where you can do better, just like you would in your career or weight training or education or whatever.

Do we sit around thinking how we're so stupid and that's why we get an education or is it that we strive to be more skilled and knowledgeable and for that reason get the education we may lack?



Great, so basing it on that, shouldn't it then by nature infuse itself in everything you do, which would include it being congruent with the way you take care of yourself and present yourself?

I apoligize, I didn't realize that we were in some sort of debate. I think I've made my views pretty clear so feel free to keep the debate going without me. Cheers.

 

[slaog]

I think the OP has it right: he's saying that the mental perspective of it is not the end all, be all, catch all; and to beware that carrying that mind set doesn't turn you into an arrogant, egotistical pr1ck.

He's saying to make manifestation of that prize mind set in every thing you say and do: the way you carry yourself, the way you groom, dress, take care of yourself and your property. He's saying to strive to be a better man among men. A true prize.

And I couldn't agree more.

Being the prize is the mental side of it. It's a mindset. Without that you are lower value then the woman no matter what you do to improve your outside.

AFC's keep themselves in good shape and drive nice cars and have lovely cloths but they're AFC's because of their mindset.

Smile more.
Say hello first. offer to shake hands. More kino upfront.
Listen to others, don't judge what they are saying.
Think positive. Plan for a bright future.
Talk to strangers. Great for practicing social skills.
Work on my body language, Learn how to stand, walk and sit.
Visualize the improvements I want.

So don't fall into the Dmitri trap and believe that in order to be a prize you have just pretend.

All these things are good.

Instead of trying to improve you outside first to become the prize you must firstly change your mindset.

Instead of thinking of all the things to do to change your outside why not just say to yourself you are the prize?

Improve your inner game first and your outer game will follow. For instance you can study thousand of chat up lines but if you've poor inner game it doesn't matter. However if your inner game is good and you feel like you are the prize you won't need any chat up lines. Women will know you're the prize!

 

[Mr. Me]

I didn't realize that we were in some sort of debate.

No, I thought we were having a discussion. You know, as in, "Discussion Forum", like it says on the sosuave.com home page. And in discussions, everything's either a viewpoint or a fact.

 

[Playboy]

No, I thought we were having a discussion. You know, as in, "Discussion Forum", like it says on the sosuave.com home page. And in discussions, everything's either a viewpoint or a fact.

It's ok man -- no worries. I'm sure your a cool guy. Im just saying that Ive said everything I have to say on this topic thats all.

 

[Canadian Catnip]

Well my mention of Dmitri was mostly for fun. I thought his message was a hoot.

As for being the prize, I think once you get the inner stuff handled you naturally want to get the outer stuff looking better.

That's what my post was meant to be about.

I found that when I first read about being the prize about a year ago I thought it was simply a change of mindset. Now I realize that once you get it on the inside the outside changes as well.

Another way of putting it is I found out that you can't fake being the prize. Who you are manifests into the world. The things I listed as changes I had made were things I decided to do because, God I hate this expression, I realized that I was worth it.

I just went back and re-read my post and it didn't come out at all like I wanted it to. Sorry about that, sometimes when I have a thought I have a hard time translating into a cohesive post. I wish I was a professional writer.

 

[ready123]

Dimitri used to be a part of charisma arts but brached off to start his own business for pickup. Recently a woman posted some voicemails that he left her. The voicemails were very arrogant, egotistical, and bordering psychotic.

that was a different Dimitri. the non creepy Dimitri along with Vin DiCarlo did a lot of work conceptualizing natural game long before RSD went natural. the Dimitri from youtube is just some sorry dude

and to me prizing is one of those esoteric concepts that's overhyped on this board, kind of like social proof. when KJ's discover prizing for the first time, it shifts their perspective from chasing the girl to being more centered. because it feels so revolutionary, they treat it like a magic pill and either start faking it without realizing how highly uncalibrated they are, or in some cases conclude they don't need get outside their comfort zone and women will start opening them. in reality prizing is the mental result of having game and being experienced. conceptually it's what happens when you've made it a habit to always lead, have standards about what you will and won't tolerate, and are coming from a place of abundance everytime you talk to a girl

unless you have that reference experience where you've TRULY proven to YOURSELF that you're the prize, all you're doing is just fvckin with your own ego