shyness is often directly associated with being nice. Shy people are ones that tend to be reserved, quiet, they tend to blend in rather than stand out and be heard. Shy is boring, introverted, anti-social, gets you un-noticed, not remembered, void of humor and screams non special. As a kid the shy ones often got neglected and never got picked when choosing teams. Being too shy is classic wussification in the making.
Back in the day (pre-internet….. but we never forget) shy guy’s would see a hot chic at a department store, stare at her for a brief moment, then place and ad in the paper like “ seeking cute blonde who was at Home Depot last Tuesday, wanted to ask you out but was afraid to………meet me this Tuesday at Tim Hortins” if interested Some people would leave anonymous notes on windshields with similar intentions. Leaving dating to chance encounters SELDOM EVER WORKS!!!! When these mysterious/creepy methods failed the shy ones would venture out to local hot spots in hopes of yet another chance encounter. They would work hard all week, get all dressed up, slather on the cologne Friday night and head to the club and stand around the dance floor for about 2-3 hours gawking at women. Some reluctantly and drunkenly approached some females and through the powers of liquid courage transformed themselves into OBNOXIOS GUY. You know the types, they are loud, rude, anxious to get with you, seek self validation and if rejected often leave alone or end up in a fight. A few would stay until the bar closed hoping to score. After a few dismal attempts at the bar scene some tried introduction services (the personals, video dating, phone dating, match making services, etc).
Fast forward today and we have something very similar…….the Internet. Shy people unite thanks to Net dating. Shy people are reluctant to try anything new and any type of unfavorable results leads to just giving up. The initial philosophy is net dating is for losers. After much reluctance they post a out-dated photo, write a sparse, poorly written profile and sit ‘n’ wait for an email. NEWSFLASH-women get tons of fan mail, they do not have time to seek out and write emails to new men. So it comes down to 1 or 2 outcomes. They can give up and cancel their membership or contact one of their potential matches. They write a pathetic, boring email and sit ‘n’ wait wondering why they never got a response. If they get one of those thanx 4 writing but not interested form emails it’s game over. If they were fortunate to get a phone number they get over anxious and often screw it up. Some get first dates that rarely lead to second dates, all this due to being shy. This wuss like behavior has a profound impact on their lives and are ill-equipped when creating attraction. The ultimate wuss behavior would be to entertain thoughts of suicide over 1 rejection. To that I say….over 1 chic…..sheesh dude. The fact is that it goes a lot deeper than just one rejection. Pinning all your hopes and dreams of happiness to one girl is the shortest path to being dumped.
So what is the solution here…..thought you would never ask, are you ready……..confidence and a drastic change of life. Your goal is to get noticed, stand out, and be comfortable with yourself. If one were to put on a Superman costume in the middle of July and head out to the club, odds are they will in fact get noticed and standout. Props to those of you that can wear spandex, and prance around in a cape. People that over-compensate by being loud, rude, trying too hard and are over the top will have minimal lasting results. I recall going out with my bud to a bar and after a few drinks he would put on a pathetic show. If he saw a cute girl a few feet away from him he would stare at her in hopes to catch her eyes. When that failed he would slam the table and yell “LOOK AT ME DAMIT”…..this was entertaining but after awhile turned into annoying. Abandoning your introverted personality whether online or on the field will not be an easy task, but with some practice you will start to see a change.
Back in the day (pre-internet….. but we never forget) shy guy’s would see a hot chic at a department store, stare at her for a brief moment, then place and ad in the paper like “ seeking cute blonde who was at Home Depot last Tuesday, wanted to ask you out but was afraid to………meet me this Tuesday at Tim Hortins” if interested Some people would leave anonymous notes on windshields with similar intentions. Leaving dating to chance encounters SELDOM EVER WORKS!!!! When these mysterious/creepy methods failed the shy ones would venture out to local hot spots in hopes of yet another chance encounter. They would work hard all week, get all dressed up, slather on the cologne Friday night and head to the club and stand around the dance floor for about 2-3 hours gawking at women. Some reluctantly and drunkenly approached some females and through the powers of liquid courage transformed themselves into OBNOXIOS GUY. You know the types, they are loud, rude, anxious to get with you, seek self validation and if rejected often leave alone or end up in a fight. A few would stay until the bar closed hoping to score. After a few dismal attempts at the bar scene some tried introduction services (the personals, video dating, phone dating, match making services, etc).
Fast forward today and we have something very similar…….the Internet. Shy people unite thanks to Net dating. Shy people are reluctant to try anything new and any type of unfavorable results leads to just giving up. The initial philosophy is net dating is for losers. After much reluctance they post a out-dated photo, write a sparse, poorly written profile and sit ‘n’ wait for an email. NEWSFLASH-women get tons of fan mail, they do not have time to seek out and write emails to new men. So it comes down to 1 or 2 outcomes. They can give up and cancel their membership or contact one of their potential matches. They write a pathetic, boring email and sit ‘n’ wait wondering why they never got a response. If they get one of those thanx 4 writing but not interested form emails it’s game over. If they were fortunate to get a phone number they get over anxious and often screw it up. Some get first dates that rarely lead to second dates, all this due to being shy. This wuss like behavior has a profound impact on their lives and are ill-equipped when creating attraction. The ultimate wuss behavior would be to entertain thoughts of suicide over 1 rejection. To that I say….over 1 chic…..sheesh dude. The fact is that it goes a lot deeper than just one rejection. Pinning all your hopes and dreams of happiness to one girl is the shortest path to being dumped.
So what is the solution here…..thought you would never ask, are you ready……..confidence and a drastic change of life. Your goal is to get noticed, stand out, and be comfortable with yourself. If one were to put on a Superman costume in the middle of July and head out to the club, odds are they will in fact get noticed and standout. Props to those of you that can wear spandex, and prance around in a cape. People that over-compensate by being loud, rude, trying too hard and are over the top will have minimal lasting results. I recall going out with my bud to a bar and after a few drinks he would put on a pathetic show. If he saw a cute girl a few feet away from him he would stare at her in hopes to catch her eyes. When that failed he would slam the table and yell “LOOK AT ME DAMIT”…..this was entertaining but after awhile turned into annoying. Abandoning your introverted personality whether online or on the field will not be an easy task, but with some practice you will start to see a change.
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