Being self conscious about your physique

[Fuglydude]

You know Fug, like a hot chick who needs a fat friend, you need a fat powerlifter friend. Someone who's big & fat enough to make you feel skinny & lean, while his 3xBW deadlift makes you feel weak at the same time, to keep that hungry eye of the tiger burning through the night in you (to continue with the Rocky theme above).

This is why I love my lifting club. Has all kinds of characters to make me feel good or bad about myself depending on what I need. It is even next door to a commercial gym so I can look at all the weak idiots in poor shape lifting funny stuff.

Haha, ya... i think I do!! Most of the guys I know with 3-3.5x BW deads are little super strong professional chinese dudes... they're not fat actually most of em are quite ripped and smart... that wouldn't make me feel better about myself at all hahaha!

Ya know, one of my friends, who's a total specimen... like 6'1" - 230 around 10% bf recently got into powerlifting, and he said it was "A LOT of fun" compared to bodybuilding comps he's been to in the past. Perhaps I'll have to look into it more carefully once I'm done with my comp next year! I think I could do reasonably well in the 82.5 kg class if I stayed nice and lean and had some good coaching... I also wanna get into olympic lifting... miss being able to throw around a 100 kg like its my lil biitch!!

 

[Rubirosa]

When I read your post, it simply sounded like you were afraid of being mistaken for someone who has a huge ego problem because you were wearing a tank top in a crowded public place.
Just act as loose and natural as possible without the "pose/flexing"---Haha...I think everyone here knows what I mean by that.

 

[zekko]

When I read your post, it simply sounded like you were afraid of being mistaken for someone who has a huge ego problem because you were wearing a tank top in a crowded public place.

I was also thinking that maybe ego had something to do with being embarassed.

I was watching an interview with one of the actresses from the Captain America movie. They were asking her about Chris Evans' physique, and how he had to work a hardcore lifting routine two hours a day, no cardio, and eat a high calorie high protein diet. She said something I thought was interesting.

She said that for someone to have a body like that, who wasn't an athlete or a movie star, they would have to be incredibly vain. Otherwise they wouldn't put so much effort into looking that good. That's not to say she didn't like the results, but I thought she had a point.

I remember Backbreaker saying he worked out three hours a day (whatever happened to him?). I remember thinking there had to be some vanity there.

I know Fugly is trying to get into bodybuidling competitions, so he has an excuse. But maybe he's self conscious that the time and effort he is putting into his body is chiseled right onto his body, like a sign. Maybe he thinks it makes him look like he has a huge ego.

 

[Jitterbug]

Haha, ya... i think I do!! Most of the guys I know with 3-3.5x BW deads are little super strong professional chinese dudes... they're not fat actually most of em are quite ripped and smart... that wouldn't make me feel better about myself at all hahaha!

Same at my club. The only guy with a 4xBW deadlift is a skinny Vietnamese guy, who's also professional, smart and rich. Now that I think about it, there's only one big guy ~100kg with a 3xBW deadlift. The fat bastards often squat triple BW (single ply) but don't deadlift very well relatively.

IMO lifting for strength is healthier for your mentality. It's a lot of stress working on physique.

 

[Fuglydude]

I was also thinking that maybe ego had something to do with being embarassed.

I was watching an interview with one of the actresses from the Captain America movie. They were asking her about Chris Evans' physique, and how he had to work a hardcore lifting routine two hours a day, no cardio, and eat a high calorie high protein diet. She said something I thought was interesting.

She said that for someone to have a body like that, who wasn't an athlete or a movie star, they would have to be incredibly vain. Otherwise they wouldn't put so much effort into looking that good. That's not to say she didn't like the results, but I thought she had a point.

I remember Backbreaker saying he worked out three hours a day (whatever happened to him?). I remember thinking there had to be some vanity there.

I know Fugly is trying to get into bodybuidling competitions, so he has an excuse. But maybe he's self conscious that the time and effort he is putting into his body is chiseled right onto his body, like a sign. Maybe he thinks it makes him look like he has a huge ego.

Actors like Chris Evans aren't your everyday meatheads... that is they get jacked up for a role, but then start slacking off again and get outta shape. They have to get in shape in a hurry for a role, and that entails living in the gym and eating like most of us already eat, etc. I bet you guys like the Rock, and other professional athletes turned actors, are always jacked, but might have to fine tune things prior to a given role. These are the guys that "live the lifestyle", and know what it takes to be jacked day in and day out.

Once you get into the groove of things you realise that getting jacked and maintaining it isn't actually a lot of work... Unless its pre-comp, like 8 weeks out from a show, you're not gonna be training 2-3 hours a day, etc. I work out maybe 5-7 hours a week. Diet is BY FAR the most important part of fitness... nothing else even comes close. It takes a lot more diligence/planning to be on point with your diet than to go to the gym 4-5 times a week. I personally work an average of 50-60 hours a week, and actually find that my diet is a lot better when I work more as everything is a lot more regimented.

When I was dancing full time I walked around at 165 in the high single digit body fat range and would go to the gym maybe 3-4 times a week and lift a total of 5-6 hours a week if that. Its really not as much work as people thing once you know how your body responds to different stimuli.

Espi, good for you man... I admire that you have that kinda confidence in yourself. Must be very empowering. The weird things is I know I don't look bad, but I always keep telling myself problems about my physique such as my arms being too small or having poor quad sweep, etc... I guess we're our own worst critic. I think it'll be better once I'm leaner, but for now, do I ever feel like a total fat ass!!! At this point in my lifting career, I don't really care about female opinion anymore, unless they're a figure/fitness competitor or bodybuilding comp judge... Sure its nice to look good and get female attention, but positive feedback from my peers/trainer mean a lot more to me than any amount of general female attention.

 

[caporal]

If I were a stripper, everyone on the planet would know about it. No shame.

.

FOCK THAT, MALE STRIPPING = NOT COOL
MALE STRIPPING = LOWLIFE
NO OFFENSE INTENDED FOR THE OP JUST SAYING MALE STRIPPING IS NOT SOMETHING TO BE PROUD OF.

 

[DonJuan_DeRosco]

Maybe I'm missing something, or everyone in this thread is, and maybe its different across the pond, but here, tank tops tend to equal gay.

 

[yuppaz]

Sorry fug but there seems to be a sh*tload of basing your esteem around your body image. I like the way I look when I get a pump too, and used to be really into the validation I get from girls jaws dropping when they see me all dressed up and ready to go but I realize that there is very little meaning to that in reality. Sure it makes meeting chicks easier and people give you respect / better service etc. for really no reason but in the grand scheme of things....meaningless. It's a really tough road, but time to find more meaning in your life. I would also stop juicing dude, your getting this ego & lack of internal validation by measuring yourself against your version of physically perfect & some part of me thinks that you KNOW that you think your this awesome specimen compared to others but it's really because of steroids, it's cheating and if you have all this other stuff going on in your life AND you are married what exactly is the point of that?

 

[Rubirosa]

I was also thinking that maybe ego had something to do with being embarassed.

I was watching an interview with one of the actresses from the Captain America movie. They were asking her about Chris Evans' physique, and how he had to work a hardcore lifting routine two hours a day, no cardio, and eat a high calorie high protein diet. She said something I thought was interesting.

She said that for someone to have a body like that, who wasn't an athlete or a movie star, they would have to be incredibly vain. Otherwise they wouldn't put so much effort into looking that good. That's not to say she didn't like the results, but I thought she had a point.

I remember Backbreaker saying he worked out three hours a day (whatever happened to him?). I remember thinking there had to be some vanity there.

I know Fugly is trying to get into bodybuidling competitions, so he has an excuse. But maybe he's self conscious that the time and effort he is putting into his body is chiseled right onto his body, like a sign. Maybe he thinks it makes him look like he has a huge ego.

Maybe it's just me, but I see nothing wrong with being incredibly vain as long as your'e not bad to other people.

 

[Fuglydude]

Sorry fug but there seems to be a sh*tload of basing your esteem around your body image. I like the way I look when I get a pump too, and used to be really into the validation I get from girls jaws dropping when they see me all dressed up and ready to go but I realize that there is very little meaning to that in reality. Sure it makes meeting chicks easier and people give you respect / better service etc. for really no reason but in the grand scheme of things....meaningless. It's a really tough road, but time to find more meaning in your life. I would also stop juicing dude, your getting this ego & lack of internal validation by measuring yourself against your version of physically perfect & some part of me thinks that you KNOW that you think your this awesome specimen compared to others but it's really because of steroids, it's cheating and if you have all this other stuff going on in your life AND you are married what exactly is the point of that?

Ya know, in my past attention ***** stripper years I would have agreed with you on my body being crucial in my self esteem... But I'm almost 30 and married, and not nearly as lean as I was. As an old fat married dude, I gain more of my self esteem from my other stuff... definitely not my physique anymore! I think as we age, we discover that we are only really accountable to ourselves in the end... I think this is a part of my problem, as I know that I'll NEVER be happy with my build and strength, no matter how big/strong I get. As me and Espi were saying, many of us are our own worst critic.

I've never understood the concept of AAS as being "cheating"... My bodybuilding federation isn't a tested federation, and you can bet most competitors are on something. Believe me man, I DO NOT enjoy sticking a needle into my leg on a regular basis... and once I'm done competing I'll be off. I wish I could just take the stuff and eat donuts and just sit on my ass... but unfortunately it doesn't work like that... I still have to eat and train right. With my job/schedule eating enough calories and high protein food 100% of the time can be challenging as I frequently am a part of a team that is dealing with life and death situations. I'm pretty good at what I do, and sometimes that means I'll have to miss a meal(s) in order to give a patient the best chance of surviving. I don't see the point of using unless you're making money off your physique or competing in a strength/combat sport at a high level. I've done\doing both of these things. I think its hippocritical how society wants to see bigger, stronger and faster athletes, yet demonizes AAS and GH.

I don't see what being married has to do with using AAS... As a health care professional w/ multiple degrees in relevant fields I'm well aware of the risks involved and my wife knows that I use. I even tell her my dosing regimen and anytime I'm gonna try something different just so she knows.

 

[squirrels]

Hmm...I'd be proud if bodybuilding was my profession and I looked like it.

I could be off-base here, but my first thoughts when I hear someone say it's their JOB to have people staring in awe at their muscles, but they get self-conscious when people do it in a non-professional setting...

1) Are you ashamed of your profession? Would you rather be doing something else??

2) Could it be concern about appearing to be a "meathead"? Maybe deep down you're worried that in social situations, your looks are writing checks your personality can't cash?

Either case has something obvious you can work on. So get to it.

 

[Fuglydude]

Hmm...I'd be proud if bodybuilding was my profession and I looked like it.

I could be off-base here, but my first thoughts when I hear someone say it's their JOB to have people staring in awe at their muscles, but they get self-conscious when people do it in a non-professional setting...

1) Are you ashamed of your profession? Would you rather be doing something else??

2) Could it be concern about appearing to be a "meathead"? Maybe deep down you're worried that in social situations, your looks are writing checks your personality can't cash?

Either case has something obvious you can work on. So get to it.

Squirrels not sure where you got that I was saying I'm a professional bodybuilder haha!! I'm an amateur bodybuilder who's training for his FIRST comp at the LOWEST level!

I'm employed as a registered nurse specializing in critical care... I work in a big ICU at a level I trauma center. This basically means we get to treat the sickest people in this part of the world. Because healthcare is publically funded in Canada, and critical care is extremely expensive, only the sickest patients come to us. To give you an idea, my last patient had both his legs amputated above the knee... by a freight train! I still cant' believe he didn't bleed out at the scene! The one before that was a liver transplant post op (which is a MAJOR surgery) who bled quite profusely into his abdominal cavity after he came to us. I was just saying that when you deal with life and death situations sometimes you'll have to miss breaks and meals to do stuff to keep your patient alive. Diet and sleep are extremely important for optimal growth and physical progress. Working shift work and working in a relatively high stress environment can sometimes mean you'll compromise both of these factors.

Sometimes I definitely don't like my job, but overall I love it... Excellent learning opportunities, reasonable cash, and its really setting me up for the next stage in my career. I can't imagine working some boring ass desk job or something like that.

I think I get self conscious getting stared at because I think I look like a total fatass and have tons of flaws with the physique. Personally I could care less about the meathead image... A lot of my close friends are meatheads... wouldn't have it any other way!

 

[azanon]

I feel like a total pu$$y admitting this but I'm hoping some of you will have some insight as to why I get so self conscious about my physique and wearing tank tops, etc. Its gonna sound like I'm bragging, but trust me, I'm not...

I'll begin with a short story to illustrate:

I trained arms, hams/calves tonight and am currently in between vehicles so I took public transit home. I'm a competitive bodybuilder. I don't have any updated pics but I'm 5'8" - 190 lbs w/ a 32" waist, 46" chest and around a 54" shoulder girdle with 15" arms... I have to get all my dress clothes custom made because of the difference between my shoulder/chest and waist.

Just a wide guess (seriously, no sarcasm), but is it because you're afraid you might have pseudo little man syndrome? If you go by BMI, you're 29, which is easily in the overweight category, strictly speaking.

Look, those measurements sound great, but the one you can't change is height and however you look. Height > all to women, according to studies I've seen. And one can have a great body or poor body, but where do you rate on attractiveness?

Personally, I'd recommend you buck the trend of the typical average to below average height guy and work towards leanness instead of bulk. I'm 5'11" myself, but only 169. Being 169 took (and continues to take) a heck of a lot of work and discipline. Sure, I get the occasional person (who doesn't exercise usually) call me skinny or underweight. But these are ignorant Americans who have a distorted view of what a healthy weight is. At that weight/height, my BMI is 23.6, right smack in the middle range of normal.

Ask a nutritionist worth his weight (no pun intended) if 5'8" at 190 is healthy. Your body knows the truth, and I bet that uneasy feeling you have will go away at a more modest 170. You might even get a thank you card in the mail from your heart.

 

[yuppaz]

Using steroids is cheating because it put sh*t loads more testosterone in your system and allows you to synthesize protein much faster and grow to beyond your natural limits. I bust my ass at the gym, train hard and consistently and eat perfectly, and I maybe in a good year gain 5 lbs. It's cheating the laws of nature & you may have a lot of pride in your physique but maybe deep down you know that it's pretty much because of the steroids. If Dorian Yates didn't do steroids, he wouldn't have been nearly as big as he was. Sure he worked hard like everyone else but the ROIDS made him Mr. Universe, well that and his genetics & thin skin. Same thing for all the really big & cut guys out there that do them, I personally wouldn't take much pride in my physique at all if I was juicing. Just throwing it out there man, your feeling self conscious when people look at you because of your fine aesthetics, but you go to great lengths to cheat nature to have those aesthetics.... maybe somewhere inside your judging yourself negatively for that...??? like: look how awesome my body is, I'm a king! But deep down you know it's due to the steroids and that it isn't earned by nature or something...just throwing it out there.

 

[In2theGame]

I feel this way too sometimes. If i take my shirt off or wear a tank top i feel like maybe people will look at me as im a show off but im not trying to. What i think is hey you cant win em all right, meaning you will have certain groups of people (guys and girls) that will have their opinion (or assumptions) about you when they look at you. Some girls may look and think "eh what a show off" while other girls may think "So sexy and strong, i want a guy that can protect me like him". And you will have guys that look at you with envy "dude thinks he's the **** look at him" while the other group think "Damn man, how do i get like him, I want to start hitting the gym" You never know whos looking at you, sh*t a younger dude may be looking at your body and you inspire him and he turns out to become a body builder, a model, or realizes his potential of having an incredible body. I know because it happened to me, I remember walking into the gym and seeing these guys ripped and lean, sure they all looked like they were full of themselves but i was inspired to get where they were as i was a puny 150 pounds. Today 5 years later, i am where they are at a lean muscle build and look back and proud of the hard work and dedication it took to get here. For those of us who have the body many people want, you already know the hard work that goes into achieving this or else everyone would be lean and muscular. In this world, atleast in the USA, everyone is pretty over weight and when you have that build, sure your going to stand out.

 

[Jitterbug]

You can tell who in this thread have been bitten by the iron bug, and who have no idea what that even means.

ROFL @ the 169lb 5'11" guy...

 

[Fuglydude]

Using steroids is cheating because it put sh*t loads more testosterone in your system and allows you to synthesize protein much faster and grow to beyond your natural limits. I bust my ass at the gym, train hard and consistently and eat perfectly, and I maybe in a good year gain 5 lbs. It's cheating the laws of nature & you may have a lot of pride in your physique but maybe deep down you know that it's pretty much because of the steroids. If Dorian Yates didn't do steroids, he wouldn't have been nearly as big as he was. Sure he worked hard like everyone else but the ROIDS made him Mr. Universe, well that and his genetics & thin skin. Same thing for all the really big & cut guys out there that do them, I personally wouldn't take much pride in my physique at all if I was juicing. Just throwing it out there man, your feeling self conscious when people look at you because of your fine aesthetics, but you go to great lengths to cheat nature to have those aesthetics.... maybe somewhere inside your judging yourself negatively for that...??? like: look how awesome my body is, I'm a king! But deep down you know it's due to the steroids and that it isn't earned by nature or something...just throwing it out there.

Based on your logic its "cheating" to give antibiotics, corticosteroids and crystalloid resuscitation IV fluid to a patient in septic shock, as its cheating the "laws of nature". I think our whole civilization is build around "cheating nature" as we exploit natural resouces and change the environment to better suit us. Ok okay, back to more pertient semantics: You can argue that its cheating if you're all geared up in a natural athlete comp, but how is it cheating if you're competing in something where everyone is on?

I have A LOT of respect for natural athletes because I know how much harder it is... My wife is a figure competitor and totally natural. She won't even take clen even though I've suggested it'll help her cut up more. Believer me man, I wish I could do it naturally, I really do, but with my schedule, and all the other shiit I wanna accomplish its just not realistic for me to eat 5-6 perfect meals 100% of the time and get adequate sleep. My only regret about using AAS is not waiting longer. I did gain around 50 lbs naturally before I used, but I should have waited a few more years and really gotten my diet and training "to the next level" before I took the plunge.

I'm interested in your diet... if you have time it would be awesome and informative to all of us if you could post it.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but judging from your attitutude towards gear you've never competed in a non-tested bodybuilding federation/fitness model search/comp or competed in a untested powerlifting/Olympic lifting or strongman meet. You've probably also never been in a position where your primary income was based on your appearance/physique and/or performance. Stripping was my primary income for 2 years... it put food in my mouth, a roof over my head and allowed me to pay my tuition so I could get ahead in life. Up here, I'd say 70-80% of guys that strip are on something at any given time. It allowed me to stay competitive with them so I could get more gigs. Its easy to play the morality "AAS is cheating" card, but I think its unfair to do so unless you've been in a situation where your performance is linked to your economic wellbeing or you are actively competing in a sanctioned strength/physique event where the majority of your competitors are enhanced.

Again I have a lot of respect for guys like you that do it naturally... but I simply dont' see using AAS as a morality issue or "cheating" if all your competitors are on. To each his own I suppose.

Azanon, interesting insight man... I definitely think I have some aspect of SMS! Although, its one of the those things that has probably bothered me less and less as I've gotten older.

I personally think BMI is a total crock of shiit. Its a quick and easy, oversimplified tool used by physicians/dieticians to assess patients/people for risk factors like DM2, HTN, etc... it tells you absolutely nothing about body composition and associated metabolic parameters. I'm almost "obese" as per BMI and I still have to wear small to medium track pants because my waste is small! Here are some pics. Most recent pics are the ones in the blue tank top... I'm around 185 in them.

http://s102.photobucket.com/albums/m91/Treydesmon/

I've actually talked to a couple of our clinical dieticians about my 1 lb of steak a day meal plan! I take around 3-5 g of EPA/DHA per day. I asked if they thought it would cause a crappy blood lipid profile. They said as long as you stay active and your waist-hip ratio is optimal you're probably gonna be ok.

I think I'll probably be around 170 on stage when I'm shredded at 3-5% bodyfat! Hehe, don't think I'll feel very good then though!