"Being persistent" vs "Pursuing" debate concluded

[manfrombelow]

At least on SoSuave, I believe the neverending debate about the final line between "being persistent" and "being a desperate chaser" concluded a long fvcking time ago.

You show your "persistence" by approaching a woman, getting her phone number, and asking her out the 1st time, if she declines (with or without a counter-offer), you show your "persistence" by giving her one more chance to go out with you by asking her out the 2nd time one or two weeks later.

If she rejected your 2nd invitation WITHOUT a counter-offer, your "persistence" stops right then and there, permanently. Because this communicates this particular woman is genuinely NOT interested in you sexually and romantically, that's why she makes it DIFFICULT for you two to get together. As a result, it makes no sense in investing in her any further.

If she rejected your 2nd invitation WITH a counter-offer, and with a nice & respectful enough attitude, you might give her the benefit of the doubt by telling her to hit you up when the time's perfect for her. Let the ball fall in her hands, and see if she cares enough to throw it back. (and by giving her the benefit of the doubt, you are being "persistent" for the 3rd time).

In what I've illustrated, you have shown, through three attempts, your "persistence." 3 strikes are more than enough to know if she's interested in you enough to go out with you or not. You didn't "give up" after the first 2 strikes, and that's already more than enough.

 

[Dr.Suave]

Weird but some interested girls dont even know they are suppose to counter offer if they legit cant make it. You just have to leave the ball in their court.

 

[SmoothSmooth]

Persistence is the wrong word, it implies she has the power and you’re the one that needs her. Patience is needed for the hotter girls but it’s more so a dance, so ‘persistence’ is in the sense of showing you can ghost and be indifferent to her when does the same to you.
Persistence just means taking your time, and waiting, waiting after you get the number, waiting to confirm a date, waiting to text her back etc. persistence is more so just extreme patience so that she feels you’re in control and you’re the one that’s hard to reach rather than the other way around.
Expect a hot girl to act hot/cold, etc and in return you do the same because that’s how high value people in general behave. They have other things going on and options. Overall the balance needs to feel tipped in your favour where she is waiting on you more than her. This is called ‘sexual tension’ in female lingo.

 

[Modern Man Advice]

I totally agree with you.

However, I use these two terms "Chasing vs Pursing". I intentionally pursue women that meet my standards and I find intriguing AND that show (not just say) interest in me as well. I do not chase women. You chase whenever you are trying to "convince" someone into seeing your worth/value and into being interested in you. You chase whenever you have to go out of your way to accommodate someone into your life without signs of appreciation or reciprocation.

 

[Hal9000]

Definitely a distinction between the two. High interest women NEVER make it hard to get together with them.

 

[RazorRambo24]

I think the more successful you get with women, the less you tolerate from women who have contributed nothing to your life yet. For example, if a girl ignores a text from me that is supposed to prompt a reply, that might be all it takes to delete her #. Especially if she doesn't excuse herself or contact me back eventually. Ofc this would be a girl I just met or something..

For women I know or have slept with already, I can care less if they postpone something or plans dont align, or something falls through. Why? Abundance.. When men are in scarcity is when they freak out and think the wrong things.. When in abundance realize, yo there's tons of reasons why she could be busy or not want to hang out.. and half the time we're more relieved because we make plans but instead might want to do hang with someone else or not end up hanging out and then we get bailed out by them backing out..

 

[LucianoM]

you show your "persistence" by giving her one more chance to go out with you by asking her out the 2nd time one or two weeks later.

This should only be done if you really like her, if not it should be one and done.

 

[Truthseeker44]

I agree with the OP. Excellent post

 

[manfrombelow]

Definitely a distinction between the two. High interest women NEVER make it hard to get together with them.

True, women who like you make it easy for you to get together, and you should only invest your energy/money/time into women who like you (aka having high-interest level in you).

For women who don't like you and always make it difficult for you to get together, you stop investing in them, aka moving on.

That's how we play this game the correct and humane way.

 

[SmoothSmooth]

True, women who like you make it easy for you to get together, and you should only invest your energy/money/time into women who like you (aka having high-interest level in you).

For women who don't like you and always make it difficult for you to get together, you stop investing in them, aka moving on.

That's how we play this game the correct and humane way.

not true, many women do play games at the start. Especially the hotter ones, because they wanna sh!t test and figure out if you’re the real deal (clue - most guys aren’t)

You should just be talking to and dating so many other girls, that are just as hot as her, to the point you barely notice or care. Read that again, ‘barely notice’. Sometimes a model will send me her number on instagram and I’ll barely register it. I’m not emotionally invested in the game. I’m playing the game, it’s fun. I know when to ramp it up and I know when to play it cool. That’s what separates the guys that get laid and those that don’t. Every situation is different. Some girls are more insecure. Some move fast then test after. Just like you have a strategy, so does she. Hers is to find a reason to reject you.

In order for her to be in her feminine around you, she might flake on you, act irrationally etc to see if you can weather the storm - which conveys higher social value, experience and abundance. These are the traits which make her want to bang you.

girls in their prime years for fertility only care about 2 things. Your smv and your ability to turn them on. Passing tests turns them on.

you are Bringing your ego and insecurities to ur relations with girls and it’s not good. You are comparing interactions with ones that previous went faster or smoother and thinking it should be the same every time, trying to recreate previous experience instead of trying to figure out what the current girls hesitations or needs may be

you have to be so secure in your smv that nothing can rattle you. At the same time, u have boundaries and a backbone and know when to call her out. The secret is that every action you take has to reflect and being in congruence with you having a superior smv than her.

 

[BadBoy89]

It all depends on young, fertile and hot the girl is.

If she is 22. I would chase like crazy and wait 6 months for sex
If she is 37. She has 18 seconds to take off her clothes or get out of my face. 12 seconds if she divorced. 6 seconds if she a single mother.

 

[manfrombelow]

not true, many women do play games at the start. Especially the hotter ones, because they wanna sh!t test and figure out if you’re the real deal (clue - most guys aren’t)

You should just be talking to and dating so many other girls, that are just as hot as her, to the point you barely notice or care. Read that again, ‘barely notice’. Sometimes a model will send me her number on instagram and I’ll barely register it. I’m not emotionally invested in the game. I’m playing the game, it’s fun. I know when to ramp it up and I know when to play it cool. That’s what separates the guys that get laid and those that don’t. Every situation is different. Some girls are more insecure. Some move fast then test after. Just like you have a strategy, so does she. Hers is to find a reason to reject you.

In order for her to be in her feminine around you, she might flake on you, act irrationally etc to see if you can weather the storm - which conveys higher social value, experience and abundance. These are the traits which make her want to bang you.

girls in their prime years for fertility only care about 2 things. Your smv and your ability to turn them on. Passing tests turns them on.

you are Bringing your ego and insecurities to ur relations with girls and it’s not good. You are comparing interactions with ones that previous went faster or smoother and thinking it should be the same every time, trying to recreate previous experience instead of trying to figure out what the current girls hesitations or needs may be

you have to be so secure in your smv that nothing can rattle you. At the same time, u have boundaries and a backbone and know when to call her out. The secret is that every action you take has to reflect and being in congruence with you having a superior smv than her.

With all respect, you have absolutely no fvcking ideas what you're talking about.

Basically I'm discussing A and you're trying to lecture B, you didn't understand a single word I said, hence your comment was totally irrelevant to my original post.

At 30, perhaps you should learn to shut up, and read more, before start talking about stuff you have no clues about.

 

[manfrombelow]

not true, many women do play games at the start. Especially the hotter ones, because they wanna sh!t test and figure out if you’re the real deal (clue - most guys aren’t)

1. Erm, what does "many women do play games at the start" have anything to do with only investing in women who have high IL in you, and not the ones that don't?

You should just be talking to and dating so many other girls, that are just as hot as her, to the point you barely notice or care. Read that again, ‘barely notice’.

2. Again, what does this have anything to do with my original post?

Sometimes a model will send me her number on instagram and I’ll barely register it. I’m not emotionally invested in the game. I’m playing the game, it’s fun. I know when to ramp it up and I know when to play it cool.

3. I don't give a fvck about what you do with Instagram wh0res. Again, what does this have anything to do with my original post?

That’s what separates the guys that get laid and those that don’t.

4. Guys that walk away from uninterested women don't get laid with them, of course, this is true, neither do guys that keep chasing after uninterested ones.

Again, what does this have anything to do with my original post?

Every situation is different. Some girls are more insecure. Some move fast then test after. Just like you have a strategy, so does she. Hers is to find a reason to reject you.

5. Yes, there might be rare cases that men walk away from a woman that really has high interest level but just too insecure to make it easy for them to get together, but this is too rare, and a risk worth taking because you should not waste your time with women that have mental issue.

Again, what does this have anything to do with my original post?

In order for her to be in her feminine around you, she might flake on you, act irrationally etc to see if you can weather the storm - which conveys higher social value, experience and abundance. These are the traits which make her want to bang you.

6. Yes, most girls are playing hard to get at the beginning, that's why I give her TWO (not one, but TWO) opportunities to make some romantic things happen. However, if she still makes it difficult, it means she's not interested, and no level of chasing after could make her change her mind. Again, what does this have anything to do with my original post?

girls in their prime years for fertility only care about 2 things. Your smv and your ability to turn them on. Passing tests turns them on.

7. In other words: Water is wet. Again, what does this have anything to do with my original post?

you are Bringing your ego and insecurities to ur relations with girls and it’s not good.

8. No I'm not. All I'm bringing to the game is logic and strategy. By choosing not investing any further into uninterested women, I respect myself and them as well. I mean, nobody wants to be bothered by a guy that they don't like. It's common sense, not rocket science. Again, what does this have anything to do with my original post?

You are comparing interactions with ones that previous went faster or smoother and thinking it should be the same every time, trying to recreate previous experience instead of trying to figure out what the current girls hesitations or needs may be

9. No I'm not. You clearly misunderstood what I wrote. Again, what does this have anything to do with my original post?

you have to be so secure in your smv that nothing can rattle you. At the same time, u have boundaries and a backbone and know when to call her out. The secret is that every action you take has to reflect and being in congruence with you having a superior smv than her.

10. Again, what does this have anything to do with my original post?

11. Young man, I used to be just like you: Having a mouth too big with too little brain cells. My advice for you remains the same: Please stop talking about stuff you have no ideas about, and if it's too hard for you to refrain from preaching your wisdom on here, you're more than welcome to open a brand new topic, without having to jump in a totally irrelevant topic to make it, well, off-topic.

 

[SmoothSmooth]

1. Erm, what does "many women do play games at the start" have anything to do with only investing in women who have high IL in you, and not the ones that don't?



2. Again, what does this have anything to do with my original post?



3. I don't give a fvck about what you do with Instagram wh0res. Again, what does this have anything to do with my original post?



4. Guys that walk away from uninterested women don't get laid with them, of course, this is true, neither do guys that keep chasing after uninterested ones.

Again, what does this have anything to do with my original post?



5. Yes, there might be rare cases that men walk away from a woman that really has high interest level but just too insecure to make it easy for them to get together, but this is too rare, and a risk worth taking because you should not waste your time with women that have mental issue.

Again, what does this have anything to do with my original post?



6. Yes, most girls are playing hard to get at the beginning, that's why I give her TWO (not one, but TWO) opportunities to make some romantic things happen. However, if she still makes it difficult, it means she's not interested, and no level of chasing after could make her change her mind. Again, what does this have anything to do with my original post?



7. In other words: Water is wet. Again, what does this have anything to do with my original post?



8. No I'm not. All I'm bringing to the game is logic and strategy. By choosing not investing any further into uninterested women, I respect myself and them as well. I mean, nobody wants to be bothered by a guy that they don't like. It's common sense, not rocket science. Again, what does this have anything to do with my original post?



9. No I'm not. You clearly misunderstood what I wrote. Again, what does this have anything to do with my original post?



10. Again, what does this have anything to do with my original post?

11. Young man, I used to be just like you: Having a mouth too big with too little brain cells. My advice for you remains the same: Please stop talking about stuff you have no ideas about, and if it's too hard for you to refrain from preaching your wisdom on here, you're more than welcome to open a brand new topic, without having to jump in a totally irrelevant topic to make it, well, off-topic.

LOL only thing that matters is who’s getting results…I’m sharing my advice cause I know what I’m doing works. The way you’re getting all insulted and emotionally reactive to my post, I can tell you don’t do well with women. Who would wanna bang a guy like that?

You can’t tell a woman’s interest level based on the early interactions. Period. Unless she’s being blatantly rude or disrespectful. She has no reason to show high interest until she’s been on a first date with the guy. And yeah I’ve had plenty girls show me straight up high interest from the get go. And others that conceal their interest. Never burn a lead unless it’s done strategically (eg to make her chase)

 

[SmoothSmooth]

If you react like that to a stranger on an Internet forum, I can’t imagine what you’re like when a hot chick flakes on you…there is your problem sir. Chicks can smell emotional weakness from a mile away.