“Only those that lost their fear of death survived the confrontations on the battlefield.” -Yomoto Tsuenimo, a samurai.
“In order to be successful with women in any environment you must be a natural, or at least act natural in this game.” – Pook, a DJ.
Two quotes from two men who lived a few hundred years apart, and yet just as true now as it was long ago. I know what you’re thinking, “What does a Samurai have to do with being a DJ?” Absolutely nothing. It’s what the samurai and Pook said that have to do with being a DJ. It’s about accepting what you are. For the samurai they had accept the fact that they were warriors and could be called to do what warriors do, fight, kill and die. They did not fear this because it was apart of who they were. For Pook, and those like him, they accept that the life of a DJ and that calling to get numbers, date, and get laid. Sometimes they are successful, sometimes not, but the accept that possibility. Being a DJ is apart of their lives; it’s not just about the women but being the master of one’s own life. What holds most back on this board is the fact they fear rejection like death. After that the next obstacle is controlling one’s desire and then you face your own personal tests.
On rejection:
It doesn’t matter. (For those of you who find this enough to satisfy the subject just skip down to the next subject.)
First off, there is no moment in your development as a DJ when you can simply pick women up at will, even the best of us sometimes get shot down or find out that some women just aren’t worth it. But it does get easier, you make some changes you see fit and make some ideas apart of your person eventually you being to become a natural and this is what will separate you from the overly touted title of AFC. What we forget about the AFC is what truly makes him an AFC, the fact that no matter how many times he approaches or talks to a girl, it never feels natural. It’s as if he feels he is committing a crime against some natural order because he believes in his heart he has no business talking to women. For in his mind the only reason a man talks to a woman is for sex, what he desires. (But we’ll talk about desire later.) A DJ is the opposite, he feels free to talk to women, and much more, because if he weren’t you know the end of civilization is not far off. (Who else is going to convince a woman that having his children is the answer to the survival of civilization.) All kidding aside, rejection is a natural occurrence, when you understand that for yourself and not from what I’ve said you’ll understand what it means to be truly natural. Of course fear is involved in rejection, not rejection itself, but who is going to reject you. Women, the problem is not women themselves but the fact that we all have believed at our most naïve moment there is some great secret to women. Like the one Shakespeare prattled on about, Romeo lamented about, and the one Don Juan would claim to know. And then there is the one I’m about to tell you.
There is no secret. No I promise you, they have no secret. The problem that many of you have faced in your AFC or recent AFC days is that you have over complicated women. Women are much simpler than you give them credit for; they share the same hopes and fears we do. The only deviation is that society comes down hard on them when they try to act as individuals, while we get rewarded for it. As long as you avoid trying to explain emotional responses with logical reasoning you won’t have to much of a headache dealing with women. Oh, and no one woman is a “goddess” by any stretch of the imagination. Like guys some of them are cool, a lot are rather unpleasant, and some of them don’t smell to good it. When you understand for yourself that rejection is natural and there is nothing special about women, then you will realize that it doesn’t matter.
On Desire:
So you got the natural part down. Great, some guys never get past it and are stuck there trying to find an answer for themselves. But this desire thing has got you all turned around. A lot of folks say that the more you want someone the less they are going to want you, and vice versa the less you want them the more they want you. This is only half true and I’ll explain why. You see its not the fact you want someone that pushes them away its how much you show it. If you’re desperate for a person, they can see it and go yuck and walk off. If you act normal, but give them glimpses into the fact you like then that’s fine. Here’s an example of this:
AFC: He bum rushes the girl of his dreams, stammers like an idiot and begs for a number. She goes out on a pity date, and he dresses way to nice, brings 12 roses and his desire to get into her pants and have sex, probably bad sex at that, is as evident as his over use of cologne.
DJ: He meets are girl, chats, keeps it pretty light and decides she’s worth the effort and just says “It was nice chatting lets do it again sometime soon, give me your number and I’ll call.” She goes on a date with him; he looks good for the occasion but not overdressed. He is more concerned with having a good time; and his good sense of humor seems to insure just that. He shows the girl signs of interest but isn’t quick to give away the whole show. She finds this attractive and hints at the fact she would like to see him again, or would like him to call again.
There is nothing wrong with desire, but what you do with your desire. The difference between the AFC and DJ is how they prioritize their desires. The AFC just wants sex; everything else is just a byproduct. The DJ wants to have a good time and enjoy himself; sex and women are merely a byproduct. (Not that he’ll complain about that.) I’ve heard guys say, “One should be without desire.” I disagree without desire one’s what drives you to move forward. Remember what started you on the path of being a DJ, a desire to be better than you were. The trick is to understand your desires, and know which one’s are more important. A man who controls his desire, but is not afraid to pursue it is attractive because it shows both power and intelligence. A guy with an out of control libido is just a walking STD lab or has no clue how to deal with women and is sex starved.
On those personal tests:
Eventually you’re going to be tested on how well you can handle what yourself. Just remember that the only rule is there are no rules. Being a DJ basically knows how to live in the gray area and turning it to your advantage. If you’re an AFC, then create some solid rules to break those habits, and as you grow, learn what, when and where those rules can be bent and then broken. Remember when you absolutely need it, you have the board to turn too, but it’s not some safety blanket you should pull over your head every time something doesn’t go your way. But the best, fool-proof way to learn how to be a better DJ is to go out there, get some numbers, go date and practice in the real world. If your still unsure about the game let me leave you with my own quote since this whole thing started with two that were from other guys.
Grey Fox on women: (Ladies don’t complain, you see a lot of guys the same way too.)
“Here’s my dime, now where’s that dozen I just paid for?”
-Grey Fox
“In order to be successful with women in any environment you must be a natural, or at least act natural in this game.” – Pook, a DJ.
Two quotes from two men who lived a few hundred years apart, and yet just as true now as it was long ago. I know what you’re thinking, “What does a Samurai have to do with being a DJ?” Absolutely nothing. It’s what the samurai and Pook said that have to do with being a DJ. It’s about accepting what you are. For the samurai they had accept the fact that they were warriors and could be called to do what warriors do, fight, kill and die. They did not fear this because it was apart of who they were. For Pook, and those like him, they accept that the life of a DJ and that calling to get numbers, date, and get laid. Sometimes they are successful, sometimes not, but the accept that possibility. Being a DJ is apart of their lives; it’s not just about the women but being the master of one’s own life. What holds most back on this board is the fact they fear rejection like death. After that the next obstacle is controlling one’s desire and then you face your own personal tests.
On rejection:
It doesn’t matter. (For those of you who find this enough to satisfy the subject just skip down to the next subject.)
First off, there is no moment in your development as a DJ when you can simply pick women up at will, even the best of us sometimes get shot down or find out that some women just aren’t worth it. But it does get easier, you make some changes you see fit and make some ideas apart of your person eventually you being to become a natural and this is what will separate you from the overly touted title of AFC. What we forget about the AFC is what truly makes him an AFC, the fact that no matter how many times he approaches or talks to a girl, it never feels natural. It’s as if he feels he is committing a crime against some natural order because he believes in his heart he has no business talking to women. For in his mind the only reason a man talks to a woman is for sex, what he desires. (But we’ll talk about desire later.) A DJ is the opposite, he feels free to talk to women, and much more, because if he weren’t you know the end of civilization is not far off. (Who else is going to convince a woman that having his children is the answer to the survival of civilization.) All kidding aside, rejection is a natural occurrence, when you understand that for yourself and not from what I’ve said you’ll understand what it means to be truly natural. Of course fear is involved in rejection, not rejection itself, but who is going to reject you. Women, the problem is not women themselves but the fact that we all have believed at our most naïve moment there is some great secret to women. Like the one Shakespeare prattled on about, Romeo lamented about, and the one Don Juan would claim to know. And then there is the one I’m about to tell you.
There is no secret. No I promise you, they have no secret. The problem that many of you have faced in your AFC or recent AFC days is that you have over complicated women. Women are much simpler than you give them credit for; they share the same hopes and fears we do. The only deviation is that society comes down hard on them when they try to act as individuals, while we get rewarded for it. As long as you avoid trying to explain emotional responses with logical reasoning you won’t have to much of a headache dealing with women. Oh, and no one woman is a “goddess” by any stretch of the imagination. Like guys some of them are cool, a lot are rather unpleasant, and some of them don’t smell to good it. When you understand for yourself that rejection is natural and there is nothing special about women, then you will realize that it doesn’t matter.
On Desire:
So you got the natural part down. Great, some guys never get past it and are stuck there trying to find an answer for themselves. But this desire thing has got you all turned around. A lot of folks say that the more you want someone the less they are going to want you, and vice versa the less you want them the more they want you. This is only half true and I’ll explain why. You see its not the fact you want someone that pushes them away its how much you show it. If you’re desperate for a person, they can see it and go yuck and walk off. If you act normal, but give them glimpses into the fact you like then that’s fine. Here’s an example of this:
AFC: He bum rushes the girl of his dreams, stammers like an idiot and begs for a number. She goes out on a pity date, and he dresses way to nice, brings 12 roses and his desire to get into her pants and have sex, probably bad sex at that, is as evident as his over use of cologne.
DJ: He meets are girl, chats, keeps it pretty light and decides she’s worth the effort and just says “It was nice chatting lets do it again sometime soon, give me your number and I’ll call.” She goes on a date with him; he looks good for the occasion but not overdressed. He is more concerned with having a good time; and his good sense of humor seems to insure just that. He shows the girl signs of interest but isn’t quick to give away the whole show. She finds this attractive and hints at the fact she would like to see him again, or would like him to call again.
There is nothing wrong with desire, but what you do with your desire. The difference between the AFC and DJ is how they prioritize their desires. The AFC just wants sex; everything else is just a byproduct. The DJ wants to have a good time and enjoy himself; sex and women are merely a byproduct. (Not that he’ll complain about that.) I’ve heard guys say, “One should be without desire.” I disagree without desire one’s what drives you to move forward. Remember what started you on the path of being a DJ, a desire to be better than you were. The trick is to understand your desires, and know which one’s are more important. A man who controls his desire, but is not afraid to pursue it is attractive because it shows both power and intelligence. A guy with an out of control libido is just a walking STD lab or has no clue how to deal with women and is sex starved.
On those personal tests:
Eventually you’re going to be tested on how well you can handle what yourself. Just remember that the only rule is there are no rules. Being a DJ basically knows how to live in the gray area and turning it to your advantage. If you’re an AFC, then create some solid rules to break those habits, and as you grow, learn what, when and where those rules can be bent and then broken. Remember when you absolutely need it, you have the board to turn too, but it’s not some safety blanket you should pull over your head every time something doesn’t go your way. But the best, fool-proof way to learn how to be a better DJ is to go out there, get some numbers, go date and practice in the real world. If your still unsure about the game let me leave you with my own quote since this whole thing started with two that were from other guys.
Grey Fox on women: (Ladies don’t complain, you see a lot of guys the same way too.)
“Here’s my dime, now where’s that dozen I just paid for?”
-Grey Fox
