Being laidback vs being a man.

[gravityeyelids]

It[‘s always a fine line to walk between not dealing with being jerked around and putting a girl in her place and coming off as being too aggressive and caring too much. This is just another girl off tinder. Whatever. I just thought this was interesting and honestly wasn’t sure how I should respond. But I did end up responding and am curious to hear some of the [senior] members’ opinions. We’d been talking a bit and ended up making definite plans for a few days from now. I’ve included the time stamps because response time is arguably more important to text game than the content of the messages. Keep in mind girls off tinder are the flakiest females in the world so I’m not surprised.

SUNDAY
(11:23pm) ME: I’ll shoot you a text when I figure out my schedule Thursday

MONDAY
(9:56pm) ME: My secretary says I can do Thursday 7:30ish at [nice local bar].
(11:56pm) HER: Fineee

TUESDAY
(10:08am) HER: How about 8?
(9:02pm) ME: Can do
(10:39pm)HER: I’ve got an impromptu happy hour scheduled with my coworkers for kicking butt on a project. Thought I’d tell you in case I might bail.

[NOTES: At this point I’m like “the fvck???” this chick thinks she can jerk me around make half arse plans with me so that she can decide at the very last minute (probably after she has a few drinks) whether or not she actually wants to meet up? I’m sorry but that is my only day off work and im not about to waste it keeping a hole in my Thursday evening schedule to hear from some chick off tinder. ]

(10:52pm) ME: You’re saying that’s earlier on Thursday?
(11:03pm) HER: Yes
(11:08pm) ME: Well then figure out what you’re going to do ahead of time. Because I’m not waiting around to hear from you on my day off.
(11:12pm) HER: You’re so polite.
(11:12pm) HER: I’m out.

Did I handle this appropriately? My DJ side says that I let her get to me too much and I should have just either responded with “That’s okay, some other time then” and never rescheduled or something like “No worries, let me know.”. But that seems weak as hell. Also, keep in mind that the rapport that her and I had consisted of giving each other tons of sh!t and basically insulting each other playfully.

(And for those of you that are invariably going to say “well you’re posting about her on the internet, so obviously you care. No. this is part of my post-game review and strategy from improving my interactions with women. This is simply a case report of an instance that I found interesting and that might serve as a platform from self-improvement for both myself and others here. If you look at my past posts, you’ll find I do this periodically with seemingly insignificant girls because I find the feedback helpful.)

 

[Poon King]

Being laidback vs being a man. = Wrong perspective.

A man who is constantly worried about "f*cking up" with a particular woman has already lost the game.

You should have NO FEAR. You should also completely lose all outcome dependence. If she doesn't like you, too bad.

You will NEVER enjoy any relationship with any woman where you cannot be your authentic self. And most men are naturally masculine.. but turn into b!tches when they meet a woman they like or want to f*ck. This is the behavior men need to learn to turn off.

The same crude, masculine man you are with your male friends should be the same man you are with her. Trust me... she likes that man A LOT more than the pathetic, supplicating, faggot most men turn into when seeking female validation, approval and poon.

 

[Darth]

SUNDAY
(11:23pm) ME: I’ll shoot you a text when I figure out my schedule Thursday

MONDAY
(9:56pm) ME: My secretary says I can do Thursday 7:30ish at [nice local bar].
(11:56pm) HER: Fineee

TUESDAY
(10:08am) HER: How about 8?
(9:02pm) ME: Can do
(10:39pm)HER: I’ve got an impromptu happy hour scheduled with my coworkers for kicking butt on a project. Thought I’d tell you in case I might bail.

(10:52pm) ME: You’re saying that’s earlier on Thursday?
(11:03pm) HER: Yes
(11:08pm) ME: Well then figure out what you’re going to do ahead of time. Because I’m not waiting around to hear from you on my day off.
(11:12pm) HER: You’re so polite.
(11:12pm) HER: I’m out.

Give the man a cigar. Lacked finesse, but had the right idea. You can't let the girl think that she has control over the frame. "In case I might bail?" What the hell is that.

My number one rule has always been this: Disrespect from a woman is the cardinal sin. You should always make a HUGE deal out of it and show no mercy. Better yet, just cut her off. Let her wonder what she did wrong. Let her come crawling back to you apologetically.

Anyway, the important thing is that you ended it with what was probably a feminist based on the messages.

 

[gravityeyelids]

Being laidback vs being a man. = Wrong perspective.

A man who is constantly worried about "f*cking up" with a particular woman has already lost the game.

You should have NO FEAR. You should also completely lose all outcome dependence. If she doesn't like you, too bad.

You will NEVER enjoy any relationship with any woman where you cannot be your authentic self. And most men are naturally masculine.. but turn into b!tches when they meet a woman they like or want to f*ck. This is the behavior men need to learn to turn off.

The same crude, masculine man you are with your male friends should be the same man you are with her. Trust me... she likes that man A LOT more than the pathetic, supplicating, faggot most men turn into when seeking female validation, approval and poon.

Lol good advice as usual my man but the title of the thread I just chose because I couldn't think of what to title it and wanted something people would read.

 

[loco]

What you did was correct was being consistent with the playful aggressive nature in conversation that you have with her as the man. What you're asking to improve on is the fact that women are not consistent,so while a playful aggressive teasing convo may be acceptable one minute,it might not be the next.She took your response to not wasting your day off as a form of ultimatum and disrespect because you don't even know her well yet(why is this guy setting ultimatums already is what she's thinking)You should have teased her and built up the ultimatum in a playful manner when she said she might bail.I.E. You tell her "the only way the project will be a success is if she pow wow's with you to discuss it over lunch,dinner etc."

 

[Trump]

TUESDAY
(10:08am) HER: How about 8?
(9:02pm) ME: Can do
(10:39pm)HER: I’ve got an impromptu happy hour scheduled with my coworkers for kicking butt on a project. Thought I’d tell you in case I might bail.

Midnightcity: thats fine. have fun. we'll catch up next time

and then make better use of my time

but thats just me

Agree with this.

PoonKing +1 as always.

 

[Bingo-Player]

I’ve certainly seen worse examples of text game and Your on the right track but everything’s still to ridged

The girls i bother to text these days, i never invite to do anything i just poke and prod at their egos with witty banter and random negs , then il disappear for a couple of weeks leaving them wondering who the fvck in this guy eventually they are begging ME to do stuff

Why can i do this and not care about the outcome ?

Because i have around 15 plates all spinning at different speeds, sure you can’t keep them all happy but you don’t have too as long as you don’t completely neglect them

You haven’t quite hit that point yet were your taking risks with the things you’re saying

"(10:52pm) ME: You’re saying that’s earlier on Thursday?
(11:03pm) HER: Yes
(11:08pm) ME: Well then figure out what you’re going to do ahead of time. Because I’m not waiting around to hear from you on my day off.
(11:12pm) HER: You’re so polite.
(11:12pm) HER: I’m out."


I don’t like any of this , it sounds like an intterigation and to add insult to injury you sound bitter .....why !?! shes not your GF why do you expect so much from her ? and your giving her the power to say no to you quite easily , infact your inviting her to disobey you with such rigid questions

Stop being so outcome dependent with her , speak to her when and how you feel like it and don’t enter into that stereotypical “when shall we meet up” dating frame that makes men and women feel uncomfortable

 

[Lozboss]

Good idea OP, don't entertain Flaking.

Lacked finesse- Midnight had it right.

"Ok, let's do another time then. Enjoy your evening"

 

[cola]

They aren't mutually exclusive. Being a man would be what you say, being laid back would be how you say it and your emotional response to it.

"(10:52pm) ME: You’re saying that’s earlier on Thursday?
(11:03pm) HER: Yes
(11:08pm) ME: Lol! You're joking right?

Reframe it like she is an idiot for even thinking thats acceptable. Not that it would have made a difference in this situation. You can tell she is use to guys just going along with whatever she says.
She did you a favor.

 

[BrainDamage92]

lel the title is contradictory

I know I get mad too when I get this treatement but the best thing to do is obviously say "K, later" and forget about her until she contacts you

Ofcourse easier said than done. I get aggrovated from this **** too but its not something that cant be fixed with going ghost. At least from my experience and its rather humble but still.

I have sank much lower. Goind all mad and "Who the fuk are you to reject me!" and still succeeded later. I just know that I look good, am smart and I dont smell like **** and all and when a girl acts all flirty but then "Oh no dont touch me, it has nothing to do with you, just blah blah" I get real mad couse I know its all crap. But ok. Let them think they won. They win anyway when you give them pleasure. The world works in favour of young pretty girls and we're the horses working for their best interest. This is why MGTOW is funny, because its not true, and this is not modern feminism, it has been like that, it iwll be like that, even if you bed a girl 5 minutes after you met her, she will still find some use for you. Deal with it. I got carried away...

Anyway, a flake is abit easier on you than a straight rejection tho.

At least you showed her you aint gonna tolerate BS. I actually look forward to the day when I will stop for real caring about what women do\say.

 

[Stugots26]

What's so hilarious is how delusional this woman is.

She sarcastically gripes about how polite you are, OP, but she explicitly tells you upfront that she has little to no intention to respect your time and considers this optional?

If she says "she might bail" I'd do the takeaway.

"Sounds like you're not sure you can make it. We'll try again another time."

 

[El Payaso]

She didn't respect your time. I see no reason for you to respect her.

 

[Thorninmyside]

(10:52pm) ME: You’re saying that’s earlier on Thursday?
(11:03pm) HER: Yes
(11:08pm) ME: Haha. I bet some guys even go for that. Another time then. See ya! might have given her the msg.

You were rough around the edges but your stance was on point. She had low interest and other options.

Besides, she doesn't even know what impromptu means