Being jealous, whats your opinion?

[Who Dares Win]

Ok most of the time in this board is suggested to never show any sign of jealousy and keep it inside, it is mostly sad that jealousy turns off girls and can be considered as a stepping stone to clingyness and insecurity.

I ask myself however if thats the case, I heard many girls complaining that their boyfriend werent showing any sign of jealousy despite their active attempts to create situation that should have done.

A girl told me that she would like sometime her boyfriend to scream at her and show anger to have confirmation that he cares.

I know really well that we should pay attention to women behaviour and not women words, but after reading Roosh blogs about women from certain culture responding good to guys buying drinks and being nice, I wonder if also in this case there could be a re-evaluation of the concept.

 

[Nutz]

Oh yes just like girls talk about how they want a nice guy and a guy with a great future who treats them well etc etc well this is all bs we all here on SS know very well that what women say they want and what they actually respond to are two very different things.

The fact that these girls are complaining about these guys is proof that these guys are doing the right thing, consciously or not. The girls are talking about them, and making them wonder what the guy is thinking and whether he really cares. This in turn makes the girl try harder to gain his attention/affection.

I can't remember ever hearing about a girl who dumped a guy bc he wasn't jealous enough lol but i have definitely had girls end it with me bc i was too controlling/jealous

Women do want a nice guy and all that crap. They just have to be attracted to him first and he has to be a bit of a challenge so they can still feel like they accomplished something by "winning" his affection.

 

[backbreaker]

the word you are looking for is possessive not jealousy.

women want their man, assuming they do indeed give a **** about their man, to want to possess them. but they don't want a man who is jealous. why be jealous and you are the one with the "prize"? guys should be jealous of you not the other way around

but women want to know you give a **** about them. for instance my wife i mean she's a grown woman she can do what she damn well pleases and i trust her to the point where she has a lot of leeway with me, though she never really uses it, and even though i know she isn't ever up to anything she still likes it when i make my presence known. rather it be a new associate that is over our house flirting jut a tad bit with her not knowing that this is my house and she's my wife or her getting a little too flirty or what not.

it's a fine line. she (Women in general) doesn't want a man who is going to guard her like a SS guard at a concentration camp or anything but at the ame time she likes it when you let it be known this is your baby.

and truth be told it's the same way the other round. even though she knows me enough to know i'm not really in the cheating mood or that cheating really isn't an option i like knowing she gives a **** to cut the petting / flirting with me on when a woman is around that is flirting just a tad bit too much. like one of her friends brought a friend over for a get together a few months ago and i mean you could just tell she was just a little too flirty and my wife just lays all over me and starts kissing on me and **** like "yeah ***** this is me back off". i mean i don't care either way but it feels good knowing that attraction level is still well up there.

also makes for good sex too

 

[HBK]

the word you are looking for is possessive not jealousy.

women want their man, assuming they do indeed give a **** about their man, to want to possess them. but they don't want a man who is jealous. why be jealous and you are the one with the "prize"? guys should be jealous of you not the other way around

but women want to know you give a **** about them. for instance my wife i mean she's a grown woman she can do what she damn well pleases and i trust her to the point where she has a lot of leeway with me, though she never really uses it, and even though i know she isn't ever up to anything she still likes it when i make my presence known. rather it be a new associate that is over our house flirting jut a tad bit with her not knowing that this is my house and she's my wife or her getting a little too flirty or what not.

it's a fine line. she (Women in general) doesn't want a man who is going to guard her like a SS guard at a concentration camp or anything but at the ame time she likes it when you let it be known this is your baby.

and truth be told it's the same way the other round. even though she knows me enough to know i'm not really in the cheating mood or that cheating really isn't an option i like knowing she gives a **** to cut the petting / flirting with me on when a woman is around that is flirting just a tad bit too much. like one of her friends brought a friend over for a get together a few months ago and i mean you could just tell she was just a little too flirty and my wife just lays all over me and starts kissing on me and **** like "yeah ***** this is me back off". i mean i don't care either way but it feels good knowing that attraction level is still well up there.

also makes for good sex too

I agree 100%

I read a book last year, as cheese y as it sounds, but it was called being the strong man a woman wants by Elliot Katz

It's about an old grandfather giving his grandson advice on women and relationships from his own experiences. Surprisingly, it wasn't typical female AFC stuff as I thought, and telling you to be always polite and nice etc. It's in fact very much focusing on Manning up, and being strong and a leader of your household. Check it out if your interested.

 

[AirBorne]

Don't ever lose sight of the fact that you are the prize to be won, the great catch.
WTF would the great catch ever be worried or jealous about?
Let me tell you, the best way to get more women to chase after you and want you is to just walk away.
It's the most important lesson I've ever learned, I grew up in Boston and now live in Iowa, and it's like fishing with dynamite out here because a move like that'll give you a little perspective.
Girls will do anything to try to make you jealous (ESP after you break up with them) and it almost becomes fun watching them send you jealous texts and late night phone calls.
Last thing: If it's not these stupid chicks acting crazy like that, then it's you. So do wtf you want, listen to your gut. If it's good then good, but If it sucks then roll the f out.

 

[timmylivingalie]

Jealousy caused me to lose some fine chicks in my teens. If a chick is tring to make you jealous it is probaly a sh*t test.

 

[ebracer05]

The psychologist Dr. Hauck wrote that jealousy is ultimately an expression of insecurity in his book Hold Your Head Up High (which is great for anyone with self esteem issues BTW).

I'll give tacit nod to that explanation.

First, I know the answer, at least in America, is not to revert to AFC behavioral patterns with women we do not know and start attempting to leverage sex from them through buying them drinks or whatever it is that may work well in another country. If we're going to be scientific, that country is a system. The United States is a distinctly different system. The rules that govern the first system do not apply in the second system.

Let's back track back to jealousy. Given the context you're speaking about jealousy in, I'll modify the good Dr.'s definition a little bit and say that a man should be intelligently aware of his woman or women. If he actually cares for them, that is. A man should have a defined criterion of what constitutes acceptable intergender behavior between his woman and other men (or I suppose women if she is bisexual), and again, if he actually cares for the woman, he should express that.

Sure, she may not listen, she could lie, she could cheat, she could do whatever in the world it is that women do. You know what? If you're really a man, you've known this girl for long enough that it's psychologically okay for you to start feeling "intelligently aware" of your woman - again, if you're really a man, she's not going to want to cross you. When a woman is super attracted to a guy, when she feels like he has super high value and her attraction has reached its zenith, is she going to rock the boat? She might through out some sh*t tests (though, this is something that's more of a beginning phenomenon than a long term phenomena), but if the guy is really "the man", it won't be an issue.

You tell me - is it more alpha for a guy to see his girl doing something unacceptable and not throwing a fit and making a scene, but firmly expressing to her that what she did was unacceptable and it will not happen again

Or

Observing unacceptable behavior and ignoring it or not addressing it because it's not cool/alpha/masculine to get jealous.

The answer is obvious.

The reason that girl was complaining to you is because that guy who wasn't getting "jealous" was demonstrating through is actions that he is not "the man". Like I said, "the man" is not going to throw some big fit and freak out, but he's also not going to let a real issue go. He puts the girl in line. And if she won't stay in line, her interest obviously isn't sufficient for "the man" to warrant keeping her. And she's gone.

One of the hallmark qualities of "the man" is his unwavering commitment to always walk away from a bad deal.

 

[Down Low]

When someone starts using words like "intergender" and "bisexual," you know he's full of sh1t.

Women are incapable of loyalty. They're too conceited and selfish to be considerate of the wishes and feelings of anybody else.

Women constantly do things that men perceive as betrayal. That's what generates jealousy in the first place. It has nothing to do with some psychobabble about insecurity. When men discover women's inappropriate behaviors, men get jealous, hurt, and angry. It's a natural response. Women don't give a sh1t and keep doing whatever they feel like doing at the moment. When attacked, women defend their behavior by accusing the accuser. It's childish and insulting -- because women are narcissistic and their thinking patterns are contemptible. But once their men know of the cheating, lying, and wh0ring, the women don't have to be so careful to hide it anymore. Women even plant fake cheating evidence around to pick fights and get more of the emotional drug they so crave.

There is no such thing as a "good girl." That's just what men call women whom they haven't yet caught at it. Or women who haven't yet learned how to twist men around their little fingers.

All women are lying, cheating wh0res. The solution isn't just to laugh off their childishness and selfishness. Of course men must do that, but there's more to it. We don't have hormonal ups and downs and we're disgusted by the emotional roller coaster ride that women try to push us onto. The solution is to manage, monitor, control, limit, guide (whatever word you prefer) the behavior of women. Manage their schedules around your d1ck being the only one around when they're in estrus. Control their spending, travel, communication. Monitor their actions but don't let them know how much you're watching. Limit their options. Guide them into harmless emotional tantrums of your choosing. In other words, keep them barefoot, pregnant, and in the kitchen.

 

[AirBorne]

I could be wrong, but the only person you can ever truly control is yourself. None of us will ever be able to fully control women or what they do, but we always have control of ourselves, even if your emotions and hormones are doing their damnedest to make you exhibit jealous behavior.

Never give in to that.

It all revolves around us being happy, productive people. Chicks like guys who work out and drive nice cars because those are manifestations of us being productive and living happy lives. If the chick isn't supplementing that, then wtf are you doing? Get rid of her. It's not cute, it's not showing how much you "actually" care, it's her gauging how insecure you are to see how much she'll be able to get away with. F that. If the girl you're with gets jealous and starts saying stupid things to you and acting crazy, how do you usually feel? I definitely kinda like it, and honestly its hard evidence that you have full control of her.

After a while it isn't even about these silly b!tches, it's about doing exactly what you wanna do, what is good for your life.

 

[ebracer05]

Down Low, you're taking a piece of truth and magnifying it multiple times over, turning it in to something that is no longer true.

There will always be women out there who fit the description that you levied, but the generalization you're making is totally absurd... and you can always tell someone is full of sh*t when they start levying mass generalizations.

There are even some women who will cheat on the most good looking/high value/rich/alpha men out there. Your woman will definitely give you issues at time... but to say that all women are entirely untrustworthy, almost as though there is a hidden agenda behind what they're doing... engaging in a mass lie and plot to deceive the men of the world? Bro, girls out there can be absolutely crazy, but my experiences do not gel with what you're saying.

It sounds to me like you've had some bad experiences with women as the result of not having been "the man" or "the prize". Those feelings and hormones that drive a woman to do all the crazy and messed up things they do can also drive a woman to crave a real man. The problem lies in the fact that not very many guys are real men. Instead of focusing on the forces that drive a woman to unacceptable behavior, be more productive and your thinking and figure out how to use those same forces to your favor.

 

[The Duke]

It all revolves around us being happy, productive people. Chicks like guys who work out and drive nice cars because those are manifestations of us being productive and living happy lives. If the chick isn't supplementing that, then wtf are you doing? Get rid of her. It's not cute, it's not showing how much you "actually" care, it's her gauging how insecure you are to see how much she'll be able to get away with. F that. If the girl you're with gets jealous and starts saying stupid things to you and acting crazy, how do you usually feel? I definitely kinda like it, and honestly its hard evidence that you have full control of her.

Well stated Airborne! very true.

Just last night my ltr was having a bit of an emotional tantrum. Wasn't happy about anything. During the course of her mental diarrhea she told me how she wished I was more jealous. I told her I was a pretty secure person and she would never get that from me. With past relationships she thought if there wasn't jealousy and drama then that meant the guy didn't care. With me she has learned that just because I'm not jealous doesn't mean I don't care, however she still struggles with it. In her past, she dated a lot of insecure chumps where she had the upper hand and it was all about her. These chumps were just lucky to have a hot piece of azz so they put up with it. Now with me she has the other end of the spectrum and that bothers her too! I just keep cool, let her know what I don't approve of, and call her out on her bs when I need to and let the cards fall where they do. In the end no matter what happens the only one I answer to is myself and I'm responsible for what happens and how things effect me. I've got all the control, and she knows it and it scares her. Its unchartered territory for her.

 

[AirBorne]

In the end no matter what happens the only one I answer to is myself and I'm responsible for what happens and how things effect me. I've got all the control, and she knows it and it scares her. Its unchartered territory for her.

That's what I'm talking about Howie!
Flip the script, that's what keeps them interested, and us...well...sane haha
It's very tempting to fall into that trap sometimes, but it's not manly and you always look like an insecure fool.

Some guy hits on your girl, what's wrong with giving her your OWN sh-- test? See what she does.