Being ignored/cold-shouldered & ignoring back

[sarah00]

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[sarah00]

Continued....

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[Iceberg]

So I now have two questions to ask you: 1) do guys reject girls who they may have liked (or do like) for reasons other than "I was just being friendly. You misinterpreted me.".

No. They don't.

And frankly, I'm not even sure he liked you. The only thing you're going on is how he "stared at you". Which, could be completely in your imagination. If he asked you out, then I can say that he definitely liked you. But staring? Maybe he was looking at you, maybe not. Just saying - the foundation of your argument is pretty weak.

2) Am I doing the wrong thing by cold-shouldering/ignoring him back, or should I continue to be nice & friendly towards him in spite of it all?

To be blunt - who cares? You wanted to date him. He doesn't want to date you. So, he serves no purpose in your life. Why worry about someone who serves no purpose in your life?

I know you're not a man, but I'm going to phrase things to you as if you were - You gotta be logical about this. You just wrote a 2-page essay about some guy who you never even kissed. Never gone on a date with. Never anything'd. Is your love life so barren that you spend so much time thinking so deeply about some guy who rejected you 2 years ago? It's time to move on.

You're trying to learn about all the emotions behind his actions. Well, the world doesn't run on emotions. It doesn't care about emotions. Summer is hot, not matter how you feel about it. Winter is cold, no matter what your emotions are. My point is - this guy had NUMEROUS chances to make a move on you and he didn't. You could worry about the billions of possible emotions that guided him to act in such a way....or you could simply say, "If he wanted me, he would have made a move. Oh well."

Emotions = "Maybe he didn't ask me about because of A, B, C, X, Y, Z reasons."

Fact = "He didn't ask me out."

Stop making things more complicated than they need to be.

 

[runner83]

post your pic...then we will do an assessment...anything prior to that is a waste of time....

 

[Atom Smasher]

My God, did you guys actually read all that?!?

 

[Mike32ct]

That was a very long post, so I'll just jump around based on what I remember from reading it.

First, I generally agree with Iceberg. I mean this guy had plenty of opportunities to ask you out, but he didn't.

Next, guys are usually pretty blunt when it comes to telling a girl that he only wants to be friends. I mean if he meant friends with benefits, he would have made a move on you. Since he didn't make a move, he REALLY does mean just friends. However, eventually he felt uncomfortable around you and sought to ignore you a bit. I'm not saying that's right, but that is probably what happened. Maybe he liked your friend too.

As far as him making sexual jokes with you, that is something FRIENDS do. Most guys (except for the aggressive bad boys) don't make many dirty jokes around women they are interested in for fear of turning her off. But with friends, it's open season on dirty humor.

As for him "staring" at you, I don't know what to make of it. There is no other evidence to suggest he's interested in you. When you consider body langauge, you need a MINIMUM of TWO signs to accurately read a person. One sign is ambiguous. For example, if a female raises both eyebrows at me, she's either attracted or scared of me. If she does that AND plays with her hair, ok, she is probaby attracted. But one sign is not enough to go by.

 

[Zerro]

If a guy tells a woman that he only wants to be friends, then he only wants to be friends. We don't engage in doublespeak.

 

[TitanSS]

My God, did you guys actually read all that?!?

My thoughts exactly.

 

[Desdinova]

When the alphabet comes in great multitudes before my eyes, I retreat.

 

[ezio]

OP is hanged up over a guy who has expressed absolutely no interest in her. you built a fantasy world around the guy for years and its inevitably falling apart. simple solution..if he ignores you, you have every right to ignore him right back! why do you fight to gain the attention of a single guy when the're hundreds of other guys. frankly this is the type of attitude which get girls abused by their ******* boyfriends in relationships. do yourself a favour and simply forget about him.
Protip: next time try not to post so much, keep it short and sweet

 

[Love's Orphan]

Wow... Concrete proof of a woman's thought process. Anyways, like the rest said: forget about the guy, it will save you some of that self esteem you have left.