(being honest here) How to be funny and entertain women on dates?

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Okay when girl comes over hey how are you good I get drink we watch movie have sex thats it bye (literally) I dont make her laugh or try to be comedian etc.... someone gave me few sites to go on but I need to know how to develop this when your life is limited to nothing right now with nothing happening thats funny or interesting? Where can I make up stories please help!!!!!
 

Thorninmyside

Master Don Juan
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How do you even get through the day without someone shooting you?

Here's the answer to every past and future question to enter your head:

Don't try to be anything. Just be it. You wanna look like an awesome guy in front of women? Just go and be awesome at something. Want a good story to tell? Go live a great story. Every day you put a mask on as the funny guy, the charismatic guy, the player etc... Is just one more day until you get exhausted being a faker and have to take the mask off. If you're not the things you want to appear to be, go and either be them or better, be the best version of your true authentic self, focus 100% of your energy in the relentless pursuit of being awesome, and forget anyone who doesn't wanna ride the train with you.
 
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freakin classic but seriously though right now im not doing anything because i got in car wreck trying to get ada call a ride but when I do I was thinkin about joining karate class to spar and or do the voice which is improv acting.

What else can i do i cant afford or able to go on trips or have stories to tell really to be honest? So can I get some real advice on what to do?

Do I find stories to make up or tell her jokes please help i am seeing her tomorrow hopefully she wears sexy dress.
 

Thorninmyside

Master Don Juan
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Oh okay, you want real advice as opposed to what I typed out before. Pfft.

Okay, start with this...

You: Knock knock
Her: Who's there?
You: Interrupting Cow
Her: Interupt....
You: MOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
 
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