Being Chill During Cold Approach

[momentomori]

When doing cold approach is it ideal to emit a chill, non-chalant vibe? I've heard some people say that you should imagine yourself ****ing the girl you're talking to so that when you walk up to a girl you would have a very sexual vibe emitting from you that she would pick up on and therefore mirror. However, I've found that most girls are more receptive the chill laid-back vibe. What are your thoughts?

 

[Serenity]

You can have the laid-back vibe while also being sexual. It's the best way to say "I want to fvck you, but I don't need to fvck you".

 

[r4zorsharp]

I edited my long answer for this: subliminal sexuality. Approach wise, be clear with your intentions though. Girl's hate it when you try to talk to them or make up reasons like asking them a cigarette and try to turn it into a casual talk waiting for her to make a move or something..

How you be clear with your intentions is, frame the conversation with some level of attraction.. "damn i thought all the beautiful girls went home already" .. you're telling her you're attracted to her.. she might respond pretty neutral , now that leads her to play coy to see what your next move is. ask her if shes single. if she says no, say "i dont care, i'll take you home either way". (at this point u have nothing to lose)

if she says yes, that's game. now do what you do based on your personality. dont try to be someone else.

What works for some others too; especially when approaching a group.. being light hearted, positive and humorous.. almost a bit flamboyant (this actually defuses all the dudes and girls simultaneously.. and the dudes dont even think ull do anything.. next thing they know ur making out with the chick).. ofc, dont approach dudes who are clearly with their boyfriend.. friends dont matter

 

[momentomori]

I edited my long answer for this: subliminal sexuality. Approach wise, be clear with your intentions though. Girl's hate it when you try to talk to them or make up reasons like asking them a cigarette and try to turn it into a casual talk waiting for her to make a move or something..

How you be clear with your intentions is, frame the conversation with some level of attraction.. "damn i thought all the beautiful girls went home already" .. you're telling her you're attracted to her.. she might respond pretty neutral , now that leads her to play coy to see what your next move is. ask her if shes single. if she says no, say "i dont care, i'll take you home either way". (at this point u have nothing to lose)

if she says yes, that's game. now do what you do based on your personality. dont try to be someone else.

What works for some others too; especially when approaching a group.. being light hearted, positive and humorous.. almost a bit flamboyant (this actually defuses all the dudes and girls simultaneously.. and the dudes dont even think ull do anything.. next thing they know ur making out with the chick).. ofc, dont approach dudes who are clearly with their boyfriend.. friends dont matter

Right. I think being clear with my intentions is definitely something I lack with women, but I may have been overcorrecting and have been displaying a vibe that is too intense or perhaps too overtly sexual.

I've heard other say that the proper frame of mind is something that goes like "yeah, your hot, but what else do you have going on?". This signifies that her looks were enough to gain my initial interest, but she will have to work to win me over, and that I'm not that impressed by looks alone.

Essentially, I need to treat her like a normal person at first, rather than acting as if I'm super impressed by her looks and that I'm trying to smash from the get-go. Perhaps when I become more advanced I could pull that off, but acting unimpressed by a hottie and cold approaching in and of itself will put me ahead of 90% of men in western countries.

 

[darksprezzatura]

Experience is the best teacher.

Girls aren't as dumb as you think they are.

This is why faux alphas get caught.

Pretending to appear a particular way won't help.

You gotta get out there and approach.

Mad volume.

You'll get more used to the heart pounding and the anxiety.

Lift weights, eat healthy, get sidechicks for better outcome independence.

Experiment. Get curious. Ask questions. Soon enough you'll know what works what doesn't.

Generalised routines don't work, doesn't mean you can't try them.

Calibrate your pickup.

Approach with a mindset that you're curious about this person and came to satisfy that curiosity.

Get digits. Smile.

Bounce.

 

[flowtheory]

Stop attempting methodologies. Work on you and become someone who secretes more serotonin (abundance) and who has s3x with women because he is of value. Be proficient in social circumstances.

Then when you see a woman who spikes your interest.. approach. And who you are will be naturally calm and sexual. Because you’re not presenting a faulty fabrication. You’re simply just showing up and being present. No need. Just there fully. Exactly what you and her both actually want.

 

[Mike32ct]

I think chill is great because it can help put people at ease. If you are a chill guy or can rock a chill vibe, definitely go for it.

Some guys aren't chill. They are more "high strung" so to speak. That's fine too; just own it.

As far as imaging yourself F-ing the girl in order to rock a sexual vibe, I would say that you'd better have the looks to back that up or it will come across as very creepy.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

There is no one size fits all formula. In the right situation, projecting your sexual intent is a really good thing. In the wrong situation, it is not. You have to also be aware of the timing of it.

I try to keep things simple when giving advice to new-comers about this topic. Too much to remember.

Ask yourself:
1. Have you ever received feedback about, or do you have the feeling that sometimes girls don't know you are sexually attracted to them, and they can't tell if you just want to be friends?
2. Do you really know what it looks like to project sexual intent and are you COMFORTABLE doing it to strangers without appearing nervous?

If you have issues with either of these things, you should practice it. Because you probably aren't doing it at all.

I generally don't recommend projecting sexual intent until the girl appears to be at ease. This could be immediately in response to the first thing I say, or it could be after 5 minutes or so of talking. Or it could be never, if I'm not getting the vibe I want from her.

 

[Georgepithyou]

Important to be relaxed and masculine, high energy would work for a club but not a random street approach.

Make sure to strime a good balance

 

[crosscheck1331]

You want to be relaxed and cool, give off the impression of being a smooth operator. It's hard to pull it off if you have to force it. If you have a small sense that the girl already likes you (through flirting etc) it is easier to get into this state. That is how it's been with me anyway. Whenever i've had to TRY it hasn't really worked out.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

When doing cold approach is it ideal to emit a chill, non-chalant vibe? I've heard some people say that you should imagine yourself ****ing the girl you're talking to so that when you walk up to a girl you would have a very sexual vibe emitting from you that she would pick up on and therefore mirror. However, I've found that most girls are more receptive the chill laid-back vibe. What are your thoughts?

I approach the chick as if i had already ****ed her rotten, went ass to mouth. Zero ****s given.

Don't get it twisted. You are conflating fence sitters taking your free attention for positive feedback rather than kicking dumpty off her pedestal. Playing your hand.

There's a old jlaix archive free tour. He talks about the typical trajectory of pickup is a third, a third, a third. A third will reject, a third will fence sit, and a third will have interest. The fence sitters are attention *****s. They will play up flirting and feint attention but aren't there. Hence why COMPLIANCE is key. Test interest based on her compliance.

I rather be rejected and save time then some thot fence sitting. Yes, your set goes smoother but its a fugazy. Its a optical illusion. Back in my day, you dealt with attention *****s by taking your d out. No matter what the outcome is, you have a funny story to tell. It likely weed out attention whoring for the next bloke too.

Disclaimer its a era of false accusations and metoo. Exercise common sense. Don't walk on egg shells but esculate and use common sense. Screenshot sexting, nudes, vid sex etc. Go scorched earth if...

 

[Georgepithyou]

In a club setting its good to be high energy, everywhere else a chill vibe works best