Being called SOFT.......

[Boricua_33015]

hey. today I was in class and we were having a class discussion. THe teacher mentioned a sensitive guy and the girl next to me blurted out he is feminine. The teacher said "well if thats how u see it". THe girl next to me said something like a man that is sensitive is known as "soft". She also went on with how being sensitive is no longer good. Men that are sensitive are called soft and women that are sensitive are known as prissy.

Then she went on and said that soft people are people who cant take a joke and stuff like that. Then the girl in front of me pointed to me and said "ur soft." I said "i aint soft what are u talking about", and then the girl next to me said "yea u are soft u sensitive B!TCH" I just said "yo shutup" and I just smiled and played it off. Then she said " see u cant take a joke!"

THen I realized. THose girls arent the only people who think I am soft. 2 or 3 god freinds of mine always call me soft. I usually am the one who gets all the teasing and all the name calling and all the jokes, because I am youngest out of all my freinds, and they know that it gets to me. They say I cant take a joke. THey say that I cry even though a tear never drops from my eye. I do get mad when they tease me, and so I insult them back or say shutup u annoying b1tch!

I want to know, how the hell do I handle people who like to put me down for fun or like to tease alot and mess with my mind. I THINK i stand up for myself. I always insult them back, or at least try to, but its usually not a good comeback. I very rarely have a good comeback. Or if they dont stop I just stay quiet and act unphased. This usually tends to get them to shutup, but after them saying that Im soft or too ***** to say something back. If its somebody I dont know well or just met I am assertive with them demanding respect and all, saying "dammit b1tch respect me". IF they get to far then I challenge them to a fight or if it gets to far I say "if u say one more thing Ill fvcking whoop your ass" something along the lines of that.

All these ways to handle these situations are always considered as being soft. I dont know why. Then I know other people who never get **** from anyone, never needed to, and if they do they have the BEST comebacks I have ever heard and the other person is left shutup.

I dont consider it as that I cant take a joke. I just dont take **** from no one. But poeple never seem to shutup so many times I have no choice but to either fight them or keep on trying to assert myself which actually comes to being that I DO take **** from people because if I didnt then I wouldve already whoope that persons ass.

See, the girls that said this in class they started calling me Titty, because they would always grab my titties, because they said that my titties are cute. I find it very offending because many times theyll be screaming across the room TITTY!! and ill be embarrased because everyone knows that titty is me. It also makes everyone pay attention to my titties and I dont like it because my titties are kind of big. I told them that if they keep calling me that I wont talk to them. IMMEDIATELY one of them said "why are u being so sensitive?" I said Im not, I just dont like for u to call me that. "she said well we are not going to stop so ur just going to have to accept it." After that I acted serious with them for about 2 months. I avoided talking to them (even though they sit next to me in class) and I just acted in a serious arrogant way towards them. After a few months it toned down and they werent calling me that in PUBLIC. They only whisper it into my ear or say it really low. That is because I told them that when they scream that out its embarrasing. Now one of the girls call me ICEMAN because she says I can be coldhearted at times. (due to the period of time when I was serious and arogant to them).

I am sick and tired of people walking all over me. I try and I try and I try and I try. I try to assert myself, I try to stand up for myself, I try to comeback. All the fights that Ive been thru were because of people insulting me or teasing me. ALL OF THEM. Because I took it seriously and I didint like it and wanted it to stop so I fought them. Just a year ago I decided to just say **** it, and not fight anyone if they insult me because it doesnt work. People will still talk sh!t. Not the person I fought of course, but it doesnt show anyone that I am tough or anything.

I guess fighting has nothing to do with being soft because I am not afraid of fighting anyone. I have fought people 2 years older than me and bigger. I am a pretty big person myself, and intimidating when I walk into a room with my serious face looking at people in the eye and watch all of them get shy or afraid.

I really need feedback on this. People wont stop teasing me. I stand up for myself and it does no good, I fight them and it doesnt do sh!t. I insult them back and its weak and they come back even stronger. One of my freinds say that people like to see me get heated. But lately after Ive been reading this site for months, about 2 months ago I started acting calm and collect in all situations. As if NOTHING phases me. I will still insult them back but I wouldnt APPEAR mad. It kind of toned down after a couple of days but they would do it again because they are already used to stepping all over me and insulting me so its kind of an everyday thing.

How can I stop being called soft. How can I stop people from teasing and messing with me?

DAMMIT, please help!

 

[aznbreakerjrey]

Here's my advice to you bro:
Don't give a fuk what others think. There are always going to be those jerks and b*tches out there who try to bring you down to their level because they can't get up to yours. Fuk em all, be the bigger man.

Once you learn this, you'll have their respect. Sure, there'll still be some asses out there playing to same old game, but you'll be far beyond them. Spit your game, and you'll find they don't have shiz against you.

Keep it real,
Jay

 

[Oxide]

TRUE. its not what everyone thinks of u, its what u think of thyself. next time someone tells u to go do something for them , tell them "go do it yourself, im not your b!tch".
next time someone puts you down , say "hey, your mom's Bj was the best $5 ive ever spent in my life" ..when they start getting pissed tell them .. "SEE, u cant take a joke!" put the same **** right in their face. make them realize how fun it is to eat your own sh1t.

 

[fragmentor]

Originally posted by Oxide
make them realize how fun it is to eat your own sh1t.

Hey I tried that before and I can vouch for it in saying that it is fun! Be warned tho, poo eating is a dangerous sport.

 

[sausage fingers]

TITTIES

Hey bro they grabbed ur titties? I say thats a perfect oportunity to grab their titties right back!

If i were u, I would have just started deploying a deadly attack of insults at them *****es.

 

[dip]

u must be a soft ass nigga if ur name is Boricua, Lol

 

[Boricua_33015]

yo dip apparantly u dont know what boricua means cuz it has nothing to do wit being soft, it means Puerto Rican u dumb fvck. lol fvkin dipsh1t!

 

[Boricua_33015]

the girl has a boyfreind, and we always chill together, we drink and smoke together. I always play around like Im going to grab them and they get all scared (yea rite they probably want me to grab them).

 

[Mikelo2k]

grab 'them'? what is 'them'? o_0

 

[Boricua_33015]

them is referred to her titties.

anyone else wanna comment?

 

[vettez06]

If you want em to stop calling you 'titty', hit the gym. After you're built, way easier to get girls, and your confidence is through the roof, and it'll end that namecalling.

 

[BWSL2]

I think you take all this sh*t way too seriously. They're just words. Don't let them get to you.

They are trying to piss you off, and mess with your mind, and start sh*t, and it looks like it's working.

I was in a similar spot to yours back in the day, and I'd get pissed off just like you. Then I started to realize, "Hey, these people are just like toys for me to play with. They're nothing to me. They're coc-a-roaches."

What I do nowadays is just let them say their little piece, while I act like they're wasting my time, which they are. I usually say something like "Are you about done?" and basically act like I'm just waiting for them to shut up so I can get on with my life.

Blow them off. Don't be silent or ignore them. Just treat them like little kids. You know how sometimes a little kid will start yapping about something, and you have to act like you're listening? Do that.

If you react, or get defensive, you're letting them know that they're getting to you. They're trying to piss you off, and they can see that it's working. You play right into their hands when you react. Don't even listen to what they say, it's not important. If it's not important, it can't affect you.

That's what works for me.

 

[Trial Error]

Yes, Boricua does mean Puerto Rican, there's nothing gay about that. And Boricua, I do understand what you go through. I was constantly picked back in elementary. I was fat and weird looking, haha. And still, through the first year of junior high school. I guess I had abnormal sized tities, for a guy that is. It was depressing. But if you're gonna want to deal with this, is hitting exercise. From my personal experience, in being constantly teased by the peers, I learned that fighting back only arouses more teasing. You let them get to you, and I can't blame you for that. But you can try this: next time they attack you with the titties, just kinda go along say something like " Yeh, they look kinda big don't they. Just wait and see when I make them into pure muscle." Just a little help, if you decide to take it.

- Alex

 

[Green Curse]

my friend has the same prob cept he is small so he cant fight but he gets all pissed and comes back with agrovated insults or withdraws and shuts up neither of which work just like you.
just show them what is acceptable and whats not like those girls stoped callin ya titties when you stoped talking to them, you didnt say anything but you SHOWED them it was no good.
if you do insult someone back do it in a calm tone it will sound more convinving then just emotional

 

[Oxide]

heh, better turn those tities into a CHEST.

 

[dip]

Originally posted by Boricua_33015
yo dip apparantly u dont know what boricua means cuz it has nothing to do wit being soft, it means Puerto Rican u dumb fvck. lol fvkin dipsh1t!

Lol, its almost always refered to as a hot puerto rican girl, tahs why i said ur soft, i always hear it used with girls

 

[The Antichrist_Star]

Let's see what we have here...

Then the girl in front of me pointed to me and said "ur soft."

Ouch... that's gotta hurt.

I said "i aint soft what are u talking about", and then the girl next to me said "yea u are soft u sensitive B!TCH" I just said "yo shutup" and I just smiled and played it off. Then she said " see u cant take a joke!"

Female - 1
You - 0

She makes a good point... if you knew that you aren't soft, you would not have taken any offense to her statement (which I'm sure you did... see below)

THose girls arent the only people who think I am soft. 2 or 3 god freinds of mine always call me soft.

Wow... a reoccurring theme.

I usually am the one who gets all the teasing and all the name calling and all the jokes, because I am youngest out of all my freinds, and they know that it gets to me.

Female - 2
You - 0

You being young I'm sure has something to do with it, but the fact that you let their jokes and name calling get to you, further validates that girls point. If you weren't sensitive, these comments (unless they were blantantly racist/sexist etc.) you would not take offense to them.

I do get mad when they tease me, and so I insult them back or say shutup u annoying b1tch!

Female - 3
You - 0

Sounds a little sensitive to me...

I want to know, how the hell do I handle people who like to put me down for fun or like to tease alot and mess with my mind.

Well... you've come to the right place.

I THINK i stand up for myself. I always insult them back, or at least try to, but its usually not a good comeback. I very rarely have a good comeback. Or if they dont stop I just stay quiet and act unphased. This usually tends to get them to shutup, but after them saying that Im soft or too ***** to say something back.

You don't. Notice how when you don't act like it bothers you, everyone shuts up... isn't it obvious that they are just trying to mess with your mind, and it's working...

If its somebody I dont know well or just met I am assertive with them demanding respect and all, saying "dammit b1tch respect me". IF they get to far then I challenge them to a fight or if it gets to far I say "if u say one more thing Ill fvcking whoop your ass" something along the lines of that.

Female - 4
You - 0

That's not the way to handle things. Telling someone to respect you is not being assertive, it's trying to force someone to do something... and you know how well people respond to that.

I dont consider it as that I cant take a joke. I just dont take **** from no one. But poeple never seem to shutup so many times I have no choice but to either fight them or keep on trying to assert myself which actually comes to being that I DO take **** from people because if I didnt then I wouldve already whoope that persons ass.

No... you can't take a joke. I think that people get not taking any crap and being sensitive the wrong way. Not taking any crap simply means that you are no one's doormat and that you don't need other people's approval. Saying that you are going to fight them, but not do anything only makes your problem worse. Think about it: If you wanted to shoot someone would you say, "Hey stand right there I want to put a round in you?" No... you would shoot first, talk afterwards.

I have no idea why people think that fighting solves things, it only gets you into more trouble. I've never been in a fight in my entire life. And up until a two years ago, I would get picked on constantly. I'm still the same size (I didn't go workout and get big, because that doesn't really help you either) but I did develop a sort of Napoleon complex. I started to realize that when people insult you, it only means that you are on their minds. It's better to be insulted than to not be noticed @ all (I'll get into that later). Also, learn to take things with a grain of salt. I would get pissed when people called me skinny or a geek... now, I laugh @ it because it's true (although I am the coolest nerd that anyone will ever met) Don't take anything anyone says seriously, and please develop more self-confidence in yourself, because it's obvious that you have very little.

There is no spoon

 

[Brandon]

Well I suppose you could've jumped up on your desk and kicked the smart-ass girl in her teeth. No one would call you soft anymore. Instead you'd be the ******* who can't control his temper.

 

[Chemistry]

To relate it to your other post...

You have these potential girls on the bus with you... the best way to shut these people up would be to land one of these and be seen with 'em, and the hotter the better...

The guys will shut up, they'll have respect in general that you managed to land such and such a girl... a few will try and joke on you, but trust me, in that situation it's more a matter of jealousy.. as for the girls, it's back to wantin' what they can't have.. if you're seen to be a guy who ends up with a reputation of datin hot girls who in turn has that respect from other guys they'll want to know what's so special...

The whole 'soft' image is partly due to the circumstances you hit me with in your reply to my post in that other thread... if you get seen in a sexual light by these girls then the whole 'soft' thing will disappear... at the minute they don't see you in that light due to lack of a reputation and being seen

 

[Nocturnal]

thank you matrix i was just about to come to the rescue but you already did.