Being boring

[Life-Trainee]

I'm terrible one on one, I can't crack a joke to save my life. However when I'm with my friends I can come up with some of the funniest shyt. It's as if i'm feeding off of their energy but can't generate any of my own especially with people I don't know well. I don't think I'm holding myself back, I just can't think of anything on my own. Any suggestions are welcome...

 

[DJHoolahoop]

the funny/ironic thing? Shyt comes to me when i don't think of it, when i try to think of something funny to say to a girl that's when it's dumb and dull lol.

And being boring sucks don't it?

Another interesting thing... is there's an interesting "filter" going on when I notice myself interacting with women. When I feel the need to hold back or act differently around a girl, I subconsciously change my conversational tone. Oddly enough when I don't give a shyt, that's when I can come up with stuff like I do with my buddies.

Maybe you can relate? or maybe this isn't how it is for u? Either way, a good way to come up with something is to try and invision being with your friends and thinking about the kinds of things you joke about. Another idea is to start recording the times when you goof around with your friend and try to understand what is happening, then intigrate that with a girl.

 

[DjDreamer]

Funny is the "act" branching forward from the root call "will"... boredom is the result of not pressing forward in the pursuit of funny...

 

[ketostix]

Yeah I can relate. I think you're right about saying you feed on your friends energy. It's like you approach a girl and even if she's smiling, you might still subconsciously pick up on her being antagonistic, for lack of a better word. I don't know if that's the case with you, but I feel like the same thing happens to me and it's because I'm picking up on cues subconsciously.

It's sort of a cause and effect thing obviously, but if I could better plow through this stalling when interacting with new girls it'd be a major breakthrough in success.

 

[Life-Trainee]

You guys are right about anxiety. Girl I went out with was all over me but for some reason I felt really uptight since no girl has warmed up that fast to me before. When my friends joined us I was pretty much back to my regular self.

 

[Keeper]

Sounds like you're lacking confidence in your social skills when struck with a 1v1.

So work on it. Go for as many one on ones as you can, and learn by trial and error. Like sarging...

 

[diablo]

AE...

 

[Freeman]

Originally posted by Life-Trainee
I'm terrible one on one, I can't crack a joke to save my life. However when I'm with my friends I can come up with some of the funniest shyt. It's as if i'm feeding off of their energy but can't generate any of my own especially with people I don't know well. I don't think I'm holding myself back, I just can't think of anything on my own. Any suggestions are welcome...

Let go of the fear of saying something retarded and just let yourself be yourself...if she digs you she'll may not find what you say exactly funny but she'll humor you...

 

[SELF-MASTERY]

Maybe your not that funny, and you and your friends just have jokes that only your group finds levity in???

 

[Duke]

Blargh. You're funny, dude, it's not just your friends. It's not something you either "have" or you don't. You can cultivate it and contour your humor to your audience. For example, when I'm talking to my friends we'll talk about the girls we interact with and crack jokes about them and things like that. We also might talk about videogames or other guy oriented things.

This kind of humor won't appeal to girls, so just don't talk about videogames or girls with them. Keep it centered on things that are "universally" funny or funny to chicks.

TV shows like Seinfeld fall into "universally funny." The "Man Show" is guy funny. "Ellen" and "Friends" is more chick funny.

Anyways, the best way to "flow" is to not consciously try to do anything. Just chill out and be a pretty much unreactive zombie. You will find that people accept you *gasp* even if you don't try to regale them with interesting stories or hilarious jokes. They will respect you for not always trying to fill the silence and for being able to relax under social pressure. Once you internalize this, you will naturally be able to relax more around girls and strangers in general, and be more able to think on your feet, which is a pre-requisite to spontaneous humor.