Being around unattractive men increase chance of rejection?

[sangheilios]

I was thinking about this and wasn't entirely sure, though I feel there is some truth to this depending upon context.

A few examples and specific set of circumstances

If you were out with a friend, who is perhaps unattractive or very awkward, does that ruin your chances with women? Say you go out to a bar and you approach a pair of women, even if you are on point (looks, etc.) does his existence play a negative impact on the interaction or not?


A couple years ago I was at a speed dating event, first and last time I will ever do one, and it was all a bunch of averageish women. However, the men were very low quality and unattractive, several were obese and one had a physical defect. I felt super out of place but I decided to stay and it was a complete disaster, most of the women were super rude to me and when I left I completely regretted going. In a situation like this, where the group of men you are around are of this caliber, does that negatively impact other men around them that are not at their level?

This is something I'm inclined to believe has a lot of merit but I wanted to see some input on this topic from others on here.

 

[Zimbabwe]

Yes this is called the Halo effect

Halo Effect

The halo effect is a cognitive bias that occurs when an initial positive judgment about a person unconsciously colors the perception of the individual as a whole. When forming a first impression, observing an initial attractive feature—perhaps beauty or strength—can make the person appealing...

www.psychologytoday.com

 

[Mike32ct]

It is generally an advantage to be somewhat better looking than your wing.

But your wing can’t be TOO looks deficient and/or awkward; otherwise, they’ll consider him “creepy,” and that will be a problem for you. The two girls might not want to deal with you two approaching as a group for fear that one of the girls gets stuck with the “creepy” guy.

On the other hand, if he’s at least decent in looks and personality, they can be polite to him (ie friendzone him) while focusing on you. They both could subtly be competing for you, or most likely one girl “clicks” with you and her friend is cool with it.

 

[Focal core]

Attractive men are very few compared to attractive or average women.. Most men are very average.. Women hate average men. Let alone being in a group of these is appalling.

Thats why its really mattered by women being around with attractive men.

If youre attractive men you would be easily be treated differently by women at any venue.. Even a hot waitresses would ask you if anything you need more of her service.. Average men wont get that kind of treatment. They have to simp.

If you're attractive why worry?

 

[andreihaha]

Creepy looking friends might not help you too much.
But a wingman who's less attractive than you is golden.
He plays the creepy pervert, and you play the Knight in shining d1ck armor that's also hot.
Good stuff.

She doesn't have to know he's your friend for a long time. But it's no problem if she does.

 

[Mike32ct]

Just don’t do that “instant wings” thing PUAs talked about years ago where you team up with another rando lone wolf guy on the spot. 99 chances out of 100, you WILL end up with the creepiest F in the club lol.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

If you’re GL, that’s all that matters. Women see your unattractive friend(s) as wallpaper and will completely ignore them, and focus on you.

 

[DSterlen]

It works for girls to look comparatively hotter to have less attractive friends but I think for guys it just makes you look like “king of the nerds” which is probably not a good look. You want to be the best looking and coolest of the group by a little bit but hanging out with weirdos is no good IMO.

 

[corrector]

I was thinking about this and wasn't entirely sure, though I feel there is some truth to this depending upon context.

A few examples and specific set of circumstances

If you were out with a friend, who is perhaps unattractive or very awkward, does that ruin your chances with women? Say you go out to a bar and you approach a pair of women, even if you are on point (looks, etc.) does his existence play a negative impact on the interaction or not?


A couple years ago I was at a speed dating event, first and last time I will ever do one, and it was all a bunch of averageish women. However, the men were very low quality and unattractive, several were obese and one had a physical defect. I felt super out of place but I decided to stay and it was a complete disaster, most of the women were super rude to me and when I left I completely regretted going. In a situation like this, where the group of men you are around are of this caliber, does that negatively impact other men around them that are not at their level?

This is something I'm inclined to believe has a lot of merit but I wanted to see some input on this topic from others on here.

You should have cleaned house in speed dating if everyone else was bad looking and you were good looking. The other guys at that event were strangers to you so its not a valid comparison.

 

[Tilex]

I've never heard of a successful speed dating story ever in my life.

Men & Women go to these events and come out empty handed.
The dynamic is artificial because it's designed where the men can't kino the women.
You have to woo the women with words within a 2-minute time frame, while sitting across from each other.

Plus every new round of guys she meets, it raises her b!tch shield higher.
It's very similar to the nightclub atmosphere, only less organic.

 

[PRW63]

In a situation like this, where the group of men you are around are of this caliber, does that negatively impact other men around them that are not at their level?

It depends on how you are presented. If you are seen as one of them, as being with them, then it hurts you. But if you are presented in a way that you are there but not with them,...you are contrasted against them,...then it can help you because they make you look even better.

 

[PRW63]

It is generally an advantage to be somewhat better looking than your wing.

But your wing can’t be TOO looks deficient and/or awkward; otherwise, they’ll consider him “creepy,” and that will be a problem for you. The two girls might not want to deal with you two approaching as a group for fear that one of the girls gets stuck with the “creepy” guy.

On the other hand, if he’s at least decent in looks and personality, they can be polite to him (ie friendzone him) while focusing on you. They both could subtly be competing for you, or most likely one girl “clicks” with you and her friend is cool with it.

This has been my experience. I've been boosted by hanging around a highly desirable guy, but pulled down by a another who was creepy to the point he even creeps me out. I've felt a mild boost if around a guy who just doesn't quite do as well as I do, because the contrast made me look a little better.

 

[Tilex]

To answer your question.....

Definitely!
When I graduated high school I started clubbing and exploring the nightlife scene.
At that time I went out with a certain group of friends to a specific nightclub.
This club was more on the upscale side which had an extremely snobby crowd.
I thought nothing of the logistics because I was just looking to have a good time.
I kept pushing myself to meet women there every Saturday night and never had any luck.
I wore different outfits, used different colognes, ventured in different parts of the venue. Nothing!
In hindsight, I realized over time that the specific nightclub always had the odds stacked against me. The male to female ratio was like 11:1
The guys I hung out with at the time only wanted to go to that specific club for some odd reason.
It was called DIVA, for fvcks sake!
I thought to myself "This is bullsh!t!"
I'm gonna go out on my own to see what's out there.
Sure enough, in less than a month I started meeting more women at a completely different club I went to and ended up becoming a regular at.

I basically lone wolf'd it and got better results without the group.
Not sure if this was the answer you were looking for, but sometimes you'll get better results if you go out on your own.

 

[Jor-El]

However, the men were very low quality and unattractive, several were obese and one had a physical defect.

I cant be alone in wondering what this "physical defect" was. Or maybe its a quiet night

 

[sangheilios]

I cant be alone in wondering what this "physical defect" was. Or maybe its a quiet night

LOL

So, I didn't notice him until towards the middle of the event when the men went to rotate seats. Anyway, this guy had crutches on his arm like Jimmy from the show southpark, I'm not sure if people in the UK watch that but you can easily look it up on youtube. It was a bit awkward to see that and made me internal question why I was there lol.

 

[bat soup]

A couple years ago I was at a speed dating event, first and last time I will ever do one, and it was all a bunch of averageish women.
the men were very low quality and unattractive, several were obese and one had a physical defect.
most of the women were super rude to me

The women were probably rude to you because they were hoping to meet above-average guys despite being average themselves.

 

[characternote]

I have some experience with this due to my wings being quite a varied bunch!

I think @Focal core has it about right.

In my experience, going out with my super chad friend is suicide. I can run teh best game in the world, but the girl will still want him over me. I have some pretty funny stories of occassions like that. One was I was gaming a girl and was going great (flirting, she bought me a drink, it seemed to be 'on' from experience), and then superchad friend entered the bar and came over to quickly say 'hi' to me, and from that second I was invisible and she was desperately trying to seduce him haha.

(same friend also got me laid a bit when I was young though. Effectively bringing girls back to my parents hot tub who all wanted to bang him, then he'd disappear with the hottest one leaving the others with me, and usually there was at least one who thought I was OK looking and she was drunk enough to make it easy for me)

Going out with less attractive wings is much better, BUT as focal said, they can't be TOO unnatractive/weird whatever. There appears to be a line. I've been out a few times with some of my incel friends who are nice dudes and even quite funny which is why I like them, but when i'm with them, it's like my value is massively dragged down and it's a huge uphill battle

Best wings for me in my life were these 2 dudes I met whilst travelling. Not overly handsome, but decent looking with an absolutely boat load of confidence and charisma and they kind of took over the bar. We were instantly the 'cool' crowd, but since they weren't exceptionally good looking they were accidentally stealing the girls from me lol

 

[Velasco]

Guilt by association. If it's going good with your girl but her friend isn't feeling your friend for whatever reason (boring, weird), then she will sabotage your set. Because of the guy your hanging out with is x (boring/weird) then you too are too x for her friend.

 

[Mike32ct]

It is surprisingly difficult for two guys to click with two girls simultaneously AND have solid mutual attractions between both couples.

Lone wolfing requires less planetary alignments.

 

[corrector]

The women were probably rude to you because they were hoping to meet above-average guys despite being average themselves.

But the OP IS an above average looking guy. Which is why his threads and experience is an enigma.