Being Aloof vs. Being Flirty

[Todd_Ingram]

I was having a beer with a buddy of mine the other day and we were comparing our styles of seduction. He is the flirty guy, he literally flirts with basically every decent woman he sees until he gets lucky. He's just an ok looking guy, but he gets laid quite a bit through sheer effort, and as we all know when you bang one girl it leads to more. I on the other hand am the aloof guy. While some people have to pretend like they don't give a ****, i actually don't. I'm an above average looking guy, prolly a 7 out of 10 and my success rate is extremely high when I actually pursue a woman, but I rarely show the interest to because I feel like they should have to do the work, not me. I'd rather go home and jerk off than give some bland looking girl my attention. So anyways I know that girls dig it when guys don't give a **** about them, like me, but I also know they like to feel sexy and special which is more like what my friend does. How do you balance this? I mean sometimes I think my style makes girls think I'm not even interested or even shy, but his style can come off as overbearing and over the top. Mine works better as a slow progressive approach (ex. picking up a girl in a college class), while his works well for picking up girls fast (ex. Picking up a girl at a bar). Overall he does get laid more than me, so I guess his works better, however when I get some it's basically gift wrapped at my door and I don't have to run around acting like an ass hat. Opinions?

 

[Poonani Maker]

I guess, word-of-mouth, has gotten me laid the most. Girls know that I'm good in bed, and don't mind telling other girls that it will be mind-blowing, that to not pass me up. Get in the circle, in the underground, of slutty hoes and you will be passed around like a cigarette. They like to feel better. I'll make them feel better. If you can make them FEEL better, you win the pvssy.

Why do you think they go to the doctor so much? to make them FEEL better.

 

[ARrocket]

What makes you think these two are mutually exclusive? The fact is, you should be both of these things. Being "flirty" (the word is flirtatious) doesn't mean that you have to be constantly complimenting a woman...this is not being flirtatious, this is being a wimp. Being flirtatious means having FUN with a woman. This can, and should include playful teasing, sexual innuendos, playful touching, less playful touching ( ), etc. You get the idea.

At the same time, don't go paying too much attention to any one particular woman; this is where the aloof part comes in. But don't get aloofness and complete apathy confused. While you shouldn't care about EACH specific outcome with each specific woman, you SHOULD care about your game in general...YOU have to initiate with women, or you won't get laid too much. Just don't put the pvssy on a pedestal...it's hard to explain, but there is a delicate balance here between being persistent without being needy. It's just something you pick up along the way.

 

[Jack-Torrance]

Definitely aloof, it's the only reason I've had girls WAY out of my league...

The reason too, is that I am a little stifled to be flirty so I completely hold back making it seem as though I don't care when I really do...

 

[maqnetik]

both

 

[Maxtro]

I think being aloof only works if you have a great reputation, or are really good looking or have high value through some other thing.

If you don't have any of those, being aloof is a guaranteed way to get absolutely nothing.

 

[ArcBound]

flirty-->aloof-->flirty-->aloof... in the end its like hot and cold and push and pull. Flirt to show what you got, then go aloof and wait for her turn.

 

[spinaroonie]

I think being aloof only works if you have a great reputation, or are really good looking or have high value through some other thing.

If you don't have any of those, being aloof is a guaranteed way to get absolutely nothing.

This.

 

[Alle_Gory]

Alternate. If she's receptive, then flirty. If she's distant then aloof.

Always match what she feels, do not press a woman to talk to you, but do not give up an opportunity if she's feeling you.

I think being aloof only works if you have a great reputation, or are really good looking or have high value through some other thing.

So work on it then.

I get chicks trying to talk to me all the time and I'm not particularly handsome. I make the best out of what I have. I dress well, good hygene, and I hit the gym and have a good diet. This puts me ahead of most naturally good looking pretty boys easy... appearance wise. It's not difficult. It requires a little bit of thought, and self discipline.

 

[SweetDannyJ]

flirty-->aloof-->flirty-->aloof... in the end its like hot and cold and push and pull. Flirt to show what you got, then go aloof and wait for her turn.

^This^ :yes:

 

[Maxtro]

So work on it then.

Much easier said than done.

The only one you can actually control is the looks and the only way that can be affected is by working out.

If I knew how to have a good reputation, I would have done it a long time ago and I wouldn't be struggling like I am now.

Getting value through other ways is just as hard. I'm just a college student trying to get by.

 

[Alle_Gory]

The only one you can actually control is the looks and the only way that can be affected is by working out.

And by style. Clothes make the man.

If I knew how to have a good reputation, I would have done it a long time ago and I wouldn't be struggling like I am now.

Well what kind of reputation do you want? If you want people to think you're a playboy start hanging out with girls and bang some of them. If you want people to think you're a hard worker then work hard... etc.

What do you want people to say about you? What is important to you?

Getting value through other ways is just as hard. I'm just a college student trying to get by.

No. You're a college student with a future and potential. You're not getting by, you're succeeding in your efforts to make a good life for yourself. An education is the beginning of that.