Being a stong man & defending your date

[Jean Valjean]

Hello DJs,

My date and I were sitting in a gazebo on the boardwalk by the beach talking and kissing - she was sitting with her legs across my lap. We were visiting a beach town where there are many homes occupied by seasonal renters. Two males and a female walked by (probably highschool age 17-19) It was about midnight so it was dark although there are lights on the boardwalk.

My girl is a beauty with long hair and very feminine features. The lead youth with long wild hair came close from her side and said loudly "HELLO LADIES". Probably did not see me as I was obscured by her back and in the shadows. As they came closer the other male "Hey that's a guy in there ... you just RUINED THEIR MOMENT!" They were all laughing as they left. I was caught like a deer in the headlghts ... felt that my scotum and balls had been cut off .. I said and did nothing just stared until they left with a sick feeling in stomach. Even if an accident - he was somwhwhat hitting on her and should have know one girl would not be sitting on another girls lap. Unless he was an
idiot - quite probable.

My girlfriend reacted as they were leaving "can you believe those f**ken kids no wonder I don't have any .. I don't want any ... Those f**ken kids ..."
I said nothing and acted like I never heard them or it did not bother me. Obviously it bothered her and she knew it was insulting to both of us.

I feel that I failed at the cardinal rule of DJ of standing up like a man and making your date feel safe and secure. Being a strong man and not taking any crap when your women is at hand. I did not respond to what was a very insulting moment with strangers.

It was late and I did not want to risk an altercation with teens but is doing nothing right. Now I am ashamed and feel less a manly man. They did ruin the moment. Our evening was ruined as we were also having a serious discussion about our relationship that was not going well. So I said lets leave. Things continued on a downward slide.

What would you have done in my place? What would a true DJ do.

 

[user43770]

You did the right thing. Threatening a couple of teenagers would have made you look insecure. You shouldn't let people get to you, man.

 

[shaunuk]

What? You get this kid of anti-social d!ckhead behavior for no apparent reason constantly in many areas in the UK. I'm used to chavs ("chav" : http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chav) spouting random fighting-talk or general rude things just walking past them in the street..

Don't be a pvssy about it mate. There's nothing emasculating or shameful about it -- why would you "stand up to" some kids being a bit antisocial/rude.

 

[PeeGee]

They weren't a threat - so you didn't have to *do* anything.

What you could do in the future is reframe it for your gf, but then she was already peev -- everything worked out great.

 

[Jean Valjean]

" What you could do in the future is reframe it for your gf, .."

Hi PeeGee

What do you mean by reframe.

Is it Like saying to her

1. "Hey even a young guy like that thinks you're hot."
2. just blow it off as "ahhh just bored kids trying to have some fun"

 

[PeeGee]

Something like #2, but since she was already fuming, you merely had to agree with her and say that they are gone now.

 

[DJDamage]

There was nothing you could have done with this situation when it occured because the punk douchebag surprised you and before you could have reacted, the situation resolved by itself.

Move on and don't dwell on this too much, a small incidence like this will not make or break your relationship with this girl.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Read the other thread he started:
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=163613

On the off chance you are real, just give up on this girl now. I was with a bpd girl for a long time; she said that standing up for her was very important. You really need to give up on your bpd girl. You remind me of the guys who would buy her expensive jewelry that she wore while she and I had sex,
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=140658
which is why I am holding out that there is an outside chance you are not a troll. If that is the case, I mean no offense, but I urge you to never talk to the bpd girl again, for the sake of your own happiness and sanity.

 

[Kal0051]

lol, their behavior was stupid so you should have treated it as such and laughed at them (maybe makes jokes with your girl at their expense).

 

[Warrior74]

not worth worrying about. seriously.

 

[Robert28]

similar thing happened to me(many times acctually on different occasions). most recently though, a girl i'm seeing and i were out at this hole in the wall redneck bar. cheap beer, noone ever bothers you, and it's fun as hell to people watch! she suggested it so i said what the hell let's go. anyways, we're sitting there like you and your girl were minus the legs in my lap thing, but any fool could tell we were together and were having a great time. all of a sudden out of the corner of my eye this guy walks up and looks right at the girl i'm with(never makes eye contact with me) and says "why don't you come over here with me and my friends and hangout". i noticed his friends standing off to the side sorta behind us. i was totally caught off guard! didn't know what to do much less say until it hit me. before she could respond i look at her and go "yeah babe, why don't you go hangout with them. you'd be doing them a favor. they look so lonely and don't have ANY pretty girls with them, so it would make them look REALLY cool in a hick bar to have you hanging out with them. go for it!" she busted out laughing and that guy looked at me like "wtf?" like he wanted to hit me. i just sat there and smiled.:crackup: before i grew a pair i would have sat there and taken it. not saying what you did was wrong but when he made his comment i would have busted out laughing histerically, so much you could tell it was a fake laugh and made them feel like the tools they were. think of episodes of when Will Smith on Fresh Prince of Bel Air did this and you'll see what i'm talking about.

 

[jacob]

Lol! you definitely lost points in her eyes, she might not dump you but she'll remember that you won't stand up for her. So how would a Don Juan handle such a situation. This is how.

http://www.noob.us/miscellaneous/boxer-destroys-2-park-bullies/

 

[Jean Valjean]

Read the other thread he started:
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=163613

On the off chance you are real, just give up on this girl now. I was with a bpd girl for a long time; she said that standing up for her was very important. You really need to give up on your bpd girl. You remind me of the guys who would buy her expensive jewelry that she wore while she and I had sex,
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=140658
which is why I am holding out that there is an outside chance you are not a troll. If that is the case, I mean no offense, but I urge you to never talk to the bpd girl again, for the sake of your own happiness and sanity.

jeessh i'm not a troll ...why would anyone waste all this time. Same gilr though .. it was the dsiastrous date I discussed in my other thread. I have not spoken to fer for several days now. Gess she really doesn't like me. These girls are so charming when they are into you ... i fell like a rock for her.

 

[nightcrawler]

should've said "hey ****face" and go from there

 

[ariet]

People who say just ingnore it

YOUR GETTING HUMILIATED PUBLICLY WTF? do something
Dont get angry just handle it politely make eye contact with them
helps if u can actually back you self up

 

[Jean Valjean]

People who say just ingnore it

YOUR GETTING HUMILIATED PUBLICLY WTF? do something
Dont get angry just handle it politely make eye contact with them
helps if u can actually back you self up

ok I'm curious how do you handle this politely. What would you have done?

- it was too dark and they kept moving so no eye contact possible - all I heard was the blood rushing thru my ears

gess you have to always be prepared for anything esp. when you are out late in a public place . Maybe better to go down fighting ...


ps
I'm twice their age and have a heart condition but work out regularly.

 

[Furyguy]

The lead youth with long wild hair came close from her side and said loudly "HELLO LADIES". Probably did not see me as I was obscured by her back and in the shadows. As they came closer the other male "Hey that's a guy in there ... you just RUINED THEIR MOMENT!" They were all laughing as they left.

lmao dude that sounds ****in hilarious. First off I think any normal person would have just laughed at such a retarded occurrence happening. Secondly you should have just laughed it off and said something silly like "[deep sigh] Damn kids always ruining my moments..." Roll your eyes like any normal adult would do and forget about it.

This isn't defending you girl from anything. We're not talking a pack of ravenous frat boys trying to get her into their pick-up truck. Remember when you were a kid that age and it you used to do stupid crap like this?
1. It has nothing to do with YOU. You just happened to be there.
2. 95% probability that they spent more time making fun of the kid who thought you were a chick than they did talking about you.
3. 100% probability that they completely forgot about you two as soon as you were out of ear shot.
4. Saying something back would have only made things worse.

Long story short: There is a time and a place to defend your lady, and this isn't one of them. Lighten up.

 

[Ganondorf]

There was really no need to retaliate at all. It's not lke he threatened you or your girl in anyway shape or form

I man knows to defend his lady, yes. but a Man also know how to choose his battles. Obviously this situation was not worth starting anything over. The worst that happened is that your girl got a little offended, She'll be ok. This doesn't make you any less of a Manly man lol. Just agree with her and move on

Saying something back would've just made it worse. Most people would've just ignored it an moved on. I'm willing to bet those kids did that same, so why do you dwell on it? lol

 

[Jean Valjean]

There was really no need to retaliate at all. It's not lke he threatened you or your girl in anyway shape or form

I man knows to defend his lady, yes. but a Man also know how to choose his battles. Obviously this situation was not worth starting anything over. The worst that happened is that your girl got a little offended, She'll be ok. This doesn't make you any less of a Manly man lol. Just agree with her and move on

Saying something back would've just made it worse. Most people would've just ignored it an moved on. I'm willing to bet those kids did that same, so why do you dwell on it? lol

probably .. lack of male role models growing up. Feeling better now that you guys have chipped in your opinions. THANKS! really feels like you have friends you can confide with in here forum.

Quite a variety of response here some want to retaliate others say just ignore it. Agree there was no real threat. I like the DJ response of forcing a laugh and reframing for upset girlfriend " damn kids having fun ruin my moments!
ps
I better learn some self defense for when I really get in a tough spot! When you're in love with a beautiful woman ..ya watch you back....

 

[She_feelin_Me]

I wouldnt stress it...thats how ppl get killed!! never know if they have a gun or what or the motive is to rob you or see a woman there and was thinking rape. Just let it go and brush it off.