Good afternoon Gentlemen,
Before we dive into this subject, a little about myself. I am 25 years old, born in England, live in Canada, and I am what you would refer to as "a natural". I never understood why I was more successful with women than other men I knew, I just knew that I was, and that it was a blessing that I didn't ever have to worry about women like they did.
A little over a year ago my closest personal friend had shared with me that he was very diligently working to improve his success with women, and that he wanted me to help him. About 3 months ago he introduced me to this site, and I was amazed at how much the "DJ Bible" spoke to my natural personality. I now feel that it is my responsibility to start having intelligent discussions about interaction with women (beyond the usual "how do I get her to like me/ call me/ sleep with me" discussions usually peppered on this forum)
So, with that we begin our first lesson on being a sophisticated man of integrity, intelligence, and passion.
Being a Gentleman
First let's start by defining a gentleman. So what exactly is a gentleman, and why would I want to be one? While it's true that walking around like a "monkey-man" with no sophistication will ultimately get you success with women, what type of women are you attracting? Are they the type of women you want to be having meaningful, long-term, relationships with? I highly doubt it.
A Gentleman Always Holds Himself To a Higher Standard
This is rule number 1, and the single most important thing to remember on your journey to becoming a gentleman. What is good enough for the rest of the world, does not make your grade. Now I'm not saying to you it's OK to be an uptight "snob". I am simply saying you need to hold yourself completely accountable for what you say, do, and what you ultimately become. A gentleman never bends his morals, beliefs, or convictions for anything or anyone. If you think it is wrong, you will not do it because everyone else does. Let's give an example :
You are out at a bar having drinks with friends. Your friends are becoming quite rowdy, belligerent, and swearing like sailors. What does a gentleman do?
A Gentleman holds himself to a higher standard. Although your friends may think acting like drunken buffoons is acceptable, A gentleman does not. You know that those actions are not those of a true gentleman, therefore you do not participate, no matter if they think it is acceptable or not. Which leads me to rule #2, which is used in conjunction with rule #1.
A Gentleman Does Not Measure Himself Against Others, Only Himself
A true gentleman does not care if his bank account has more zero's than another mans, does not care if is car is faster than another mans, does not care if he holds a higher title than anyone else. A true gentleman measures his success only against himself. If everyone around you is driving Ferrari's and your driving a Toyota, what bearing does that have on you at all? It certainly doesn't make you less of a man, or less important. Let's look at it in a different light shall we?
2 years ago you were driving a beat up junker, and you said to yourself "I'm going to work hard and save money to get a nice new car". If in those 2 years you have that new car, were you not successful?
No matter what any other man has done in the time that it took you to achieve your personal goal, it does not change the fact that you achieved your personal goal. A true gentleman does not measure his success against others, only himself. As long as you are constantly improving yourself, when you look back to measure your success, you will see how far you've come.
Now before we continue on, which will be at a later time. You have some homework. I want you to choose a role model, but not just any role model, I want you to choose your Gentleman's Role Model. The man that you aspire to be. It can be anyone. A family member, a celebrity, a fictional character, anyone at all. Next I want you to write down 10 things that make this role model the Gentleman that you want to be. What makes this man so special that he should appear on your "Mount Rushmore of Gentleman"? After you have chosen which qualities make this man a true gentleman, I want you to think about each one of these things, and how you could make yourself resemble more closely these attributes.
Now I will never ask you to do anything I am not willing to do myself. My Gentleman's Role model is James Bond. Yes, that is why I registered under "Bond". In my opinion there is no gentleman more suitable to be my role model than Bond. What makes James Bond a gentleman? If you've never seen a Bond movie, you should immediately stop reading and go to your nearest video store and rent one. The thing that makes Bond the ultimate gentleman in my mind is this:
Rambo, Terminator, and millions of other men have been depicted saving the world, or saving an important person. However no one else has ever been shooting at Russian officers while simultaneously being charming and well spoken (Not to mention magnificently well dressed in a fine tailored suit).
Do your homework. I will be back soon with more rules on being a true gentleman.
Before we dive into this subject, a little about myself. I am 25 years old, born in England, live in Canada, and I am what you would refer to as "a natural". I never understood why I was more successful with women than other men I knew, I just knew that I was, and that it was a blessing that I didn't ever have to worry about women like they did.
A little over a year ago my closest personal friend had shared with me that he was very diligently working to improve his success with women, and that he wanted me to help him. About 3 months ago he introduced me to this site, and I was amazed at how much the "DJ Bible" spoke to my natural personality. I now feel that it is my responsibility to start having intelligent discussions about interaction with women (beyond the usual "how do I get her to like me/ call me/ sleep with me" discussions usually peppered on this forum)
So, with that we begin our first lesson on being a sophisticated man of integrity, intelligence, and passion.
Being a Gentleman
First let's start by defining a gentleman. So what exactly is a gentleman, and why would I want to be one? While it's true that walking around like a "monkey-man" with no sophistication will ultimately get you success with women, what type of women are you attracting? Are they the type of women you want to be having meaningful, long-term, relationships with? I highly doubt it.
A Gentleman Always Holds Himself To a Higher Standard
This is rule number 1, and the single most important thing to remember on your journey to becoming a gentleman. What is good enough for the rest of the world, does not make your grade. Now I'm not saying to you it's OK to be an uptight "snob". I am simply saying you need to hold yourself completely accountable for what you say, do, and what you ultimately become. A gentleman never bends his morals, beliefs, or convictions for anything or anyone. If you think it is wrong, you will not do it because everyone else does. Let's give an example :
You are out at a bar having drinks with friends. Your friends are becoming quite rowdy, belligerent, and swearing like sailors. What does a gentleman do?
A Gentleman holds himself to a higher standard. Although your friends may think acting like drunken buffoons is acceptable, A gentleman does not. You know that those actions are not those of a true gentleman, therefore you do not participate, no matter if they think it is acceptable or not. Which leads me to rule #2, which is used in conjunction with rule #1.
A Gentleman Does Not Measure Himself Against Others, Only Himself
A true gentleman does not care if his bank account has more zero's than another mans, does not care if is car is faster than another mans, does not care if he holds a higher title than anyone else. A true gentleman measures his success only against himself. If everyone around you is driving Ferrari's and your driving a Toyota, what bearing does that have on you at all? It certainly doesn't make you less of a man, or less important. Let's look at it in a different light shall we?
2 years ago you were driving a beat up junker, and you said to yourself "I'm going to work hard and save money to get a nice new car". If in those 2 years you have that new car, were you not successful?
No matter what any other man has done in the time that it took you to achieve your personal goal, it does not change the fact that you achieved your personal goal. A true gentleman does not measure his success against others, only himself. As long as you are constantly improving yourself, when you look back to measure your success, you will see how far you've come.
Now before we continue on, which will be at a later time. You have some homework. I want you to choose a role model, but not just any role model, I want you to choose your Gentleman's Role Model. The man that you aspire to be. It can be anyone. A family member, a celebrity, a fictional character, anyone at all. Next I want you to write down 10 things that make this role model the Gentleman that you want to be. What makes this man so special that he should appear on your "Mount Rushmore of Gentleman"? After you have chosen which qualities make this man a true gentleman, I want you to think about each one of these things, and how you could make yourself resemble more closely these attributes.
Now I will never ask you to do anything I am not willing to do myself. My Gentleman's Role model is James Bond. Yes, that is why I registered under "Bond". In my opinion there is no gentleman more suitable to be my role model than Bond. What makes James Bond a gentleman? If you've never seen a Bond movie, you should immediately stop reading and go to your nearest video store and rent one. The thing that makes Bond the ultimate gentleman in my mind is this:
Rambo, Terminator, and millions of other men have been depicted saving the world, or saving an important person. However no one else has ever been shooting at Russian officers while simultaneously being charming and well spoken (Not to mention magnificently well dressed in a fine tailored suit).
Do your homework. I will be back soon with more rules on being a true gentleman.
