Just remembered this girl I was hanging out with when I had a gf... was seeing her too as friends.. but when I was single again I tried to kiss her she moved away and said "no you're not getting that." but few days later she came over and I was suking on her titties. Go figure.
being a friend isn't always bad!
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LuisGarcia10
Senior Don Juan
I don't understand what's wrong with being friends with a girl? I have lots of friends, most male, some female. What's the problem? They're just people, if you like them then why not hang out?
There is a girl I've known for about 6 months or so, she always seemed potentially dateable, nice looking, we have a lot in common and have fun whenever we hang out. She was dating someone at first and then they broke up recently, she's now dating someone else despite me asking her out a couple times. But why not have her as a friend? I liked her personality before, I have fun with her, I like her mum/friends/family etc, so I'm not just going to ditch her because she's not interested! How childish and pathetic would that be?
If you like a person, you like them, end of, if you get sex out of it great, but if you have the confidence to know that if one girl isnt into you, then there's many others that will be, then you won't have to instantly write off every girl that only wants friendship. As long as you don't become some needy, pathetic fake friend who secretly is only hanging out with a girl because you hope one day you'll sleep with her!
There is a girl I've known for about 6 months or so, she always seemed potentially dateable, nice looking, we have a lot in common and have fun whenever we hang out. She was dating someone at first and then they broke up recently, she's now dating someone else despite me asking her out a couple times. But why not have her as a friend? I liked her personality before, I have fun with her, I like her mum/friends/family etc, so I'm not just going to ditch her because she's not interested! How childish and pathetic would that be?
If you like a person, you like them, end of, if you get sex out of it great, but if you have the confidence to know that if one girl isnt into you, then there's many others that will be, then you won't have to instantly write off every girl that only wants friendship. As long as you don't become some needy, pathetic fake friend who secretly is only hanging out with a girl because you hope one day you'll sleep with her!
The problem is when men think that by being a woman's friend he is closer to having sex with her than a complete stranger is. He is actually further away. He is being nice to her. He should instead look her in the eye and make her feel intimidated in a sexual way. He should dominate her, not submit to her friendship.LuisGarcia10 said:
I've quoted this a million times but nice guys hate to realize this: "A woman will think of a man as a friend OR lover but not both" (Louis/Copeland).
backbreaker
Master Don Juan
pretty much this.bigneil said:
The reason that being "friends" with females is a bad thing is beucase it's a big lie that both parties willing participate in for different reasons.
First of all, she isn't your friend and you really aren't hers. your "friendship "with her is based on her physical attraction and that is not what you base friendship on. you don't call her when you have girl problems, yo don't call her to bail you out of jail, you don't call her to go hang out on a Friday night to watch basketball. she is not your friend. she is someone you are taking the "long route" to try to have sex with.
On the other hand, she does not consider you to be an actual friend either. Not only is she NOT your friend, what makes it even worse is that she knows good and god damn well the reason you are being her "friend" but is keeping you around to slow play you along for various reasons. she knows exactly what she is doing when she gets really friendly and starts calling you later and later at night. she knows in the back of your mind what you really want. she knows you will jump at the idea of spending time with her and she know she can reciprocate the attention on her time frame / level, while at the same time keeping all her other male relationships ethnically in tact because she is not 'leading you on' (even though she is)
so the problem is not that it's so much wrong is that it's dishonest. you are lying to both you and her, and usually she is the only one that knows it or at least acknowledges it.
there are other problems as well. Spending time on a non producing entity makes no sense from a time management standpoint. The time you are going on dates with her or doing whatever with her is time you could and should be spending time finding other women who are interested in you.
the other problem with having female friends, is that it devalues your desirability from a woman's eyes. if a woman sees you with another woman who they deem " on their level" or better, and she finds out that this woman is not ffvkcing you or is not "attracted" to you like that, she's going to ask herself why isn't this woman fvcking this guy? he must not be a catch. this is why the "females introduce me to other females" theory falls flat on it's face. it never works. the only friends you will meet are her busted up hopeless friends who she will pester you to try to date.
another thing is women try or tend not to burn bridges. the more men a woman can keep around the more options she has to chose from once she gets older and the musical chair music stops. I knew a few men whoose women "finally came around" was really "the biological clock is ticking and this guy is the best i think i can get and will be smitten to get to sleep with me"
Yes I can give you examples of friends turning into F buddies, I've done it before. I can also tell you it wasn't even remotely close to worth the effort put into it.
Alex DeLarge
Master Don Juan
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People really need to stop over-analyzing the word "friend". It's just silly. With that in mind, what's wrong with having a friend in the first place?
I've hooked up with a few girls I was "just friends" with for a long time. Didn't stop me and it shouldn't stop anyone else from doing what they want either. Just don't become obsessive about it; and if things don't work out, just go find another girl!
Even if you're seeing a girl, she's gonna introduce you to people as a friend. What?! You think you're her boyfriend after 2 dates? Get real man.. Would you make her your girlfriend after 2 dates? Hell no!
I've hooked up with a few girls I was "just friends" with for a long time. Didn't stop me and it shouldn't stop anyone else from doing what they want either. Just don't become obsessive about it; and if things don't work out, just go find another girl!
Even if you're seeing a girl, she's gonna introduce you to people as a friend. What?! You think you're her boyfriend after 2 dates? Get real man.. Would you make her your girlfriend after 2 dates? Hell no!
LostAndConfused
Master Don Juan
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To all of the DJ's claiming they f*ck their friends: Teach me your ways.
Using the Greek classifications of love, I don't think these women really are your "friends" in the Platonic sense. Do they like you as a brother or a "bestie"? If so, I don't think you're fvcking. Either that or you guys have some skill I have yet to tap into.
Heres my logic.....
The "friends with benefits" I have had in the past always started with the sexual tension. There was some element of my masculinity that sexually charged the girl's femininity. Once you are "just a friend" you aren't a sexual object in her eyes to be lusted for.
Then I compare that with my two best-female friends, two attractive, yet cool (in the girl being chill sense), girls in a sorority. The first one bonded with me over coursework, and then we'd enjoy each others company partying and dealing with stress. She already had a (and still has the same) bf, so I could already tell we were LJBF'ed.
By the Associative property of LJBF, when I met her friend a year later, I was automatically LJBF'ed by the second girl. She was already referring to me as "bestie" the night after we met even though I said no more than 10 words to her (wtf?). When one girl sees you as a sexual non-entity, her friends do too. That's why I have to disagree with you guys, unless you WERE a sexual entity in their eyes, to which I can't consider you to be their friend.
As with the other girls in their sorority, their close friends also LJBF'ed me (associative property), but the more distant sisters I was able to score with. But what ended up happening was that after fvcking a couple of them, they began to label me as a man*****.
I still pulled a few more, but the take home point was that my two "best" female friends (and I STILL hang out with these girls 1-2/week) haven't done sh*t to help defend my reputation. (Not only that, but besides the pre-selection of being seen around two attractive women, they don't DHV me or anything either.) And these girls know I'm no chump with women too. They've seen me with numerous attractive girls, even hotter off-campus girls.
And that is why men can't befriend women.
A man will defend a friend's honor. Women know no such loyalty.
I love these two girls, even calling them my sisters, but it is against the feminine imperative to defend my rep. Cue anecdotal stories of girls completely ruining their best friends.
Using the Greek classifications of love, I don't think these women really are your "friends" in the Platonic sense. Do they like you as a brother or a "bestie"? If so, I don't think you're fvcking. Either that or you guys have some skill I have yet to tap into.
Heres my logic.....
The "friends with benefits" I have had in the past always started with the sexual tension. There was some element of my masculinity that sexually charged the girl's femininity. Once you are "just a friend" you aren't a sexual object in her eyes to be lusted for.
Then I compare that with my two best-female friends, two attractive, yet cool (in the girl being chill sense), girls in a sorority. The first one bonded with me over coursework, and then we'd enjoy each others company partying and dealing with stress. She already had a (and still has the same) bf, so I could already tell we were LJBF'ed.
By the Associative property of LJBF, when I met her friend a year later, I was automatically LJBF'ed by the second girl. She was already referring to me as "bestie" the night after we met even though I said no more than 10 words to her (wtf?). When one girl sees you as a sexual non-entity, her friends do too. That's why I have to disagree with you guys, unless you WERE a sexual entity in their eyes, to which I can't consider you to be their friend.
As with the other girls in their sorority, their close friends also LJBF'ed me (associative property), but the more distant sisters I was able to score with. But what ended up happening was that after fvcking a couple of them, they began to label me as a man*****.
I still pulled a few more, but the take home point was that my two "best" female friends (and I STILL hang out with these girls 1-2/week) haven't done sh*t to help defend my reputation. (Not only that, but besides the pre-selection of being seen around two attractive women, they don't DHV me or anything either.) And these girls know I'm no chump with women too. They've seen me with numerous attractive girls, even hotter off-campus girls.
And that is why men can't befriend women.
A man will defend a friend's honor. Women know no such loyalty.
I love these two girls, even calling them my sisters, but it is against the feminine imperative to defend my rep. Cue anecdotal stories of girls completely ruining their best friends.
If you are attracted to her, she will respect you more if you acknowledge it by making a move. Otherwise, as backbreaker notes, you are clearly being dishonest. Scare her off by coming on too strong. Tear her clothes off and she'll love it or she'll leave. Even then, if she ever comes back, you know you are in, for if you make your romantic interest known and she initiates further contact she has accepted your offer of courtship.
I once had a girl who I had taken out on Valentine's Day for lunch send a long-winded (one page with no paragraph breaks) email about how she's not ready and was it ok if we were just friends?
My reply? "No."
She wrote "Well f*ck off then!". Then I took her out and she wouldn't kiss me (still hung up over ex) so I told her off for talking about him. Then I f*cked her a few days later. She confessed loving how I put her in her place.
I once had a girl who I had taken out on Valentine's Day for lunch send a long-winded (one page with no paragraph breaks) email about how she's not ready and was it ok if we were just friends?
My reply? "No."
She wrote "Well f*ck off then!". Then I took her out and she wouldn't kiss me (still hung up over ex) so I told her off for talking about him. Then I f*cked her a few days later. She confessed loving how I put her in her place.
there is no way i'm gonna make myself a puppet for a woman to pull my strings under the guise of friendship. i only make friends with women for social spoof especially the hot ones. it puts other girls you're chasing on their toes cos it shows you're not a chump and can easily get any girl you want. if i ask you out and get ljbf, well that's your decision but am not going to stroke a girls ego and need for validation by hanging around and providing her with attention like i used to. no matter how beautiful a girl is she is not worth all that effort and time if i'm not ****ing her. guys need to have some respect for themselves and walk away with their heads held high instead of turning into orbiters and emotional tampoons in the distant hope of getting laid
LuisGarcia10
Senior Don Juan
It's a problem if you're hanging around with the girl with th solo hope that maybe one day she'll fall for you, obviously that's bad and it usually means you'll pass up opportunities with other girls in the process.
But I genuinely do not see the problem with just enjoying someone's company in the same way you would a male friend, as long as you're not texting her every 20 seconds or going out of your way to see her, then what's the problem?
Example of a girl I was talking to last night who is a friend
Her;
What you up to this weekend?
Me;
Going out with friends on Saturday, going for a meal on Sunday and I'll probably go to the gym tomorrow night, yourself?
Her;
Not sure yet, catch up at some point?
Me;
Erm we could maybe meet for a quick drink at 4 on Sunday but I need to be gone by 5
Her;
Ok cool
Now I just don't see the problem with that, no investment on my part, just meeting someone who's good enough to suggest to do something .
But I genuinely do not see the problem with just enjoying someone's company in the same way you would a male friend, as long as you're not texting her every 20 seconds or going out of your way to see her, then what's the problem?
Example of a girl I was talking to last night who is a friend
Her;
What you up to this weekend?
Me;
Going out with friends on Saturday, going for a meal on Sunday and I'll probably go to the gym tomorrow night, yourself?
Her;
Not sure yet, catch up at some point?
Me;
Erm we could maybe meet for a quick drink at 4 on Sunday but I need to be gone by 5
Her;
Ok cool
Now I just don't see the problem with that, no investment on my part, just meeting someone who's good enough to suggest to do something .
LuisGarcia10
Senior Don Juan
It's a problem if you're hanging around with the girl with th solo hope that maybe one day she'll fall for you, obviously that's bad and it usually means you'll pass up opportunities with other girls in the process.
But I genuinely do not see the problem with just enjoying someone's company in the same way you would a male friend, as long as you're not texting her every 20 seconds or going out of your way to see her, then what's the problem?
Example of a girl I was talking to last night who is a friend
Her;
What you up to this weekend?
Me;
Going out with friends on Saturday, going for a meal on Sunday and I'll probably go to the gym tomorrow night, yourself?
Her;
Not sure yet, catch up at some point?
Me;
Erm we could maybe meet for a quick drink at 4 on Sunday but I need to be gone by 5
Her;
Ok cool
Now I just don't see the problem with that, no investment on my part, just meeting someone who's good enough to suggest to do something .
But I genuinely do not see the problem with just enjoying someone's company in the same way you would a male friend, as long as you're not texting her every 20 seconds or going out of your way to see her, then what's the problem?
Example of a girl I was talking to last night who is a friend
Her;
What you up to this weekend?
Me;
Going out with friends on Saturday, going for a meal on Sunday and I'll probably go to the gym tomorrow night, yourself?
Her;
Not sure yet, catch up at some point?
Me;
Erm we could maybe meet for a quick drink at 4 on Sunday but I need to be gone by 5
Her;
Ok cool
Now I just don't see the problem with that, no investment on my part, just meeting someone who's good enough to suggest to do something .
LuisGarcia10
Senior Don Juan
It's a problem if you're hanging around with the girl with th solo hope that maybe one day she'll fall for you, obviously that's bad and it usually means you'll pass up opportunities with other girls in the process.
But I genuinely do not see the problem with just enjoying someone's company in the same way you would a male friend, as long as you're not texting her every 20 seconds or going out of your way to see her, then what's the problem?
Example of a girl I was talking to last night who is a friend
Her;
What you up to this weekend?
Me;
Going out with friends on Saturday, going for a meal on Sunday and I'll probably go to the gym tomorrow night, yourself?
Her;
Not sure yet, catch up at some point?
Me;
Erm we could maybe meet for a quick drink at 4 on Sunday but I need to be gone by 5
Her;
Ok cool
Now I just don't see the problem with that, no investment on my part, just meeting someone who's good enough to suggest to do something .
But I genuinely do not see the problem with just enjoying someone's company in the same way you would a male friend, as long as you're not texting her every 20 seconds or going out of your way to see her, then what's the problem?
Example of a girl I was talking to last night who is a friend
Her;
What you up to this weekend?
Me;
Going out with friends on Saturday, going for a meal on Sunday and I'll probably go to the gym tomorrow night, yourself?
Her;
Not sure yet, catch up at some point?
Me;
Erm we could maybe meet for a quick drink at 4 on Sunday but I need to be gone by 5
Her;
Ok cool
Now I just don't see the problem with that, no investment on my part, just meeting someone who's good enough to suggest to do something .
Thanks for all the great responses!
Have a bit of a problem maybe could help out:
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?p=1896430&posted=1#post1896430
Have a bit of a problem maybe could help out:
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?p=1896430&posted=1#post1896430