The crux and indeed the very ethos of the DJ mentality, whether turned towards women or business, or art, is simply living the best qualities in man. The whole point is to develop these abilities until they are not only second nature, but fundamental.
These traits...confidence...passion for living...the mindset of the hunter... All of these we cultivate, not merely for the 'romantic' benefits thereof. The DJ site promotes embracing your masculinity. Not being your self, but rather being the best version of yourself, thusly fulfilling your manly potential. Yes, the very wise Allen promotes books about seduction, and a good part of this site
if not the majority of it, is and rightly
should be dedicated to improving your success with the opposite sex...but Manhood encompasses just a bit more than that.
These traits never leave. You do not lose your manhood, your solitary drive, or anything save possibly your freedom to lay anything that walks and doesn't sing bass. Oh, and even that has isn't necessarily a bad thing. In an LTR, your state of mind and personality don't change, but your focus and means do. Let's talk three C's here for a second. Do you truly lose the Control factor? No, anything but. Do you lose your confidence? If anything it would increase. Do you lose your challenge factor? Yes, but any mystery or challenge (and remember the whole point of challenge factor is to generate excitement) you may lose can be replaced with spontanaety. Something like some flowers for Guy Fawkes day, or a surprise weekend in a bed and breakfast. The three C's, as well as the core of the DJ mindset remains.
You bemoan the abundance of LTR posts and blame them for the decline of this site. If anything, the presence of posts relating to relationships longer and deeper than one night, can rightly be attributed to the fact that this is what some guys are looking for. Seducing and bedding one woman after another, moving from conquest to conquest, simply gets tiring after a while, and sometimes it gets to be too much time and effort to expend for some of the guys on here who have other things in life they wish to achieve.
I've been on both sides of the fence. I've been in LTRs and find them a lot easier and less-time consuming than chasing skirts. You imply, and there are some of those who claim, that since you 'give up DJ status' when you enter a relationship, those in relationships should refrain from giving advice about hooking up. As further proof of the fallacy of your argument, I was out of the game for over a year. The first time I go sarging after I ended that relationship, I go to California and land three numbers in a week-end, with a minumum of effort (I went three for four
hehehe ). PDX helped with some insights and the passion to just do it, but I had to go out there to get those numbers for myself.(actually for a friend...but that's another story entirely) According to the logic expressed by some members of this board, I should be dusty, rusty, and crusty, yet I go out and I'm gold. (well, maybe bronze...hehehe) I haven't gotten a chance to thank you yet PDX, so if you're reading let me do so now. I hope you stick around a little while longer as you're truly an asset to this board...
If anything, that's what this site needs more of. It needs more guys daring to step outside their comfort zones and do it. More guys will the gonads to get out there and experiment, then come back and share the knowledge. That's the difference between the site of old, and the site as it is now. We must
DO! We must
BE! We must
BECOME!
You are a young man yet Edge. A very young man actually, and not so far out of the high school forum if I remember correctly. Where you are is fine for you. Right on. You have no need or desire to become exclusive with anyone. But we all have different objectives in coming here. You may not need, want, or desire to be in a relationship now, but what about in five, ten, twenty years... Do you really know where you are going to be that far down the road? Hopefully, by the time you have other things requiring your energies, or after a while when all the girls just seem the same...hopefully this forum will still be around to answer your questions and address your concerns. But until then, don't begrudge or demean those of us who've been where you are, and moved on...
-CyranoDeBergerac
