Before too slow, now too fast?

[Buddhistguy]

Hey guys,

Just trying to get some advice on the long, difficult (but rewarding) path to becoming a DJ.

In my AFC days, I used to take way too much time making a move or showing sexual interest in girls I really liked. As a result, they would lose patience with me and go run off with some jerk instead.

The advice that I was given was that I need to make a move more quickly.

I have been doing that, and am now making approaches by the second or third date. This has had good results in that I am getting everything from heavy makeout sessions to full sex by the second or third date, and only get rebuffed maybe 10% of the time.

The problem now is that a lot of the girls seem not to want anything to do with me afterwards, particularly if we had sex on the first or second date. Sometimes this can be a blessing in disguise , but sometimes I do want to keep in contact with the girl, as a friend if not a potential romantic partner.

Any suggestions or ideas on why this is happening? I was reading the forum and saw something about the anti-slut defence. Could this be it? Or is it that I am now appearing too desperate because I am making the move so quickly?
Or does this simply mean I need to spend a couple of hours studying books like "Lovemaking for Dummies" and "How to last more then two minutes with a woman"? Any advice would be appreciated.

BG

 

[flexion_]

Sounds like you have made some changes for the better.

Women don't go run off with jerks - they go off with men who did what you didn't - so remember that. If the woman is having sex with you then you are doing well - the anti-slut defense or "damage shield" as I call it is down.

Either you are bad at sex or you are picking up HOs who just want one night stands. Really hard for us to know that part of it. Maybe you should reflect on where you are meeting these women.

I suppose if you want to test your theory though - for the next one get her all in a sexual state and then cut her off until the next date and see if that works for you in terms of holding on to them.

 

[Buddhistguy]

Sounds like you have made some changes for the better.

Women don't go run off with jerks - they go off with men who did what you didn't - so remember that. If the woman is having sex with you then you are doing well - the anti-slut defense or "damage shield" as I call it is down.

Either you are bad at sex or you are picking up HOs who just want one night stands. Really hard for us to know that part of it. Maybe you should reflect on where you are meeting these women.

I suppose if you want to test your theory though - for the next one get her all in a sexual state and then cut her off until the next date and see if that works for you in terms of holding on to them.

Thanks for the observations.

I don't think there is a problem with the actual sex. I have had girls come back a few times before cutting off contact.

I generally tend to meet women either on campus at university or off dating web-sites - not sure what can be made of that.

I may try your suggestion, and let people know what the results are.

 

[Tha Realnezz]

I don't know I like working 100 miles an hour.It's funner that way and really more effective cuz you know what girls want it or not.

 

[Macgyver]

Depends with some girls, you're going after the party sluts and if you want LTR you're going to have to look elsewhere, but make sure her personality meshes well with yours.

 

[Distant Light]

yes it has to do with ASD.

How many hours have you spent with her via inperson/phone/internet?

Its best to wait 5 to 10 hours before going in for the lay. Another way thats good is reassure after you've hit it or before your about too that your going to still be with her or something along those lines.

 

[Buddhistguy]

yes it has to do with ASD.

How many hours have you spent with her via inperson/phone/internet?

Its best to wait 5 to 10 hours before going in for the lay. Another way thats good is reassure after you've hit it or before your about too that your going to still be with her or something along those lines.

Well, with the most recent girl is an exchange student from Canada (although she plans on being in Australia for a few years). I met her at a university event and chatted to her for a few times on the phone. We went out once and had a good time, and I didn't make any moves. She seemed very keen after that (responding to any messages I left fot her within minutes) We went out a second time, and things went quite well so I went for a kiss. She seemed quite into it, and we made out on the train. Half way though, she seemed to withdraw a bit, and asked if "I was always this intimate on a second date". She seemed a bit eager to get home after that.

Something which may be relevant is that she seems to be quite an active church goer. However, she has hinted at having a wild past, and mentioned that she was relatively new to her faith. Perhaps this may have something to do with her behaviour?

On a different topic, do people think this situation is salvagable? or should I just next her?