Been dumbing myself down lately with AWESOME results

[Vice]

But why is getting laid the focal point? Why are you changing who you are in order to get laid? This may work short term, but in the end, you're going to want to find someone who you don't have to act for, who will dig you for being your true self.

But I guess it depends on what you consider "deep". Deep to me is talking about dreams, beliefs, the meaning of life. I talk about topics like this all the time, with men and women alike, since i'm a big time dreamer, and i've never had a problem with it. It's never costed me a woman. And even if it did, I probably wouldn't care because it wouldn't work with the girl anyway.

I understand what forum I'm on but not everything you do has to lead to vag. Sometimes you have to live your life regardless if what you do gets you laid or not.

It's not the focal point. The focal point is entertaining myself and being "charming", as Damian pointed out.

As I said before: I used to talk about "deep" things so frequently that I now need to swing all the way over, just to see what the other side of the spectrum is like. It's also just way too serious, and I've noticed that people want what's "fun" when they're out. It's a great way to dampen a good time by having "deep" discussions.

Also, I realized that no one cares about your dreams. If anything, it makes them uncomfortable because it makes them realize their own mediocrity and small mind. I keep my dreams to myself and a very small circle of people. There's a time and place for deep discussion. The initial meeting of women isn't that time.

I sense that there's a presupposition that changing who you are is a bad thing. It's not. Especially when who you were before was too serious and up his own ass.

I wonder, MisterD, if you're a "fun" guy or if you are overly serious, like I used to be.

 

[DJerk]

What exactly is awesome about not getting any again?

Did I get laid a ton? Nope.

 

[Vice]

What exactly is awesome about not getting any again?

The rest of that paragraph puts that sentence into context:

Once I got over my need to have deep, meaningful conversation with EVERY woman I came into contact with, my results went up. Did I get laid a ton? Nope. But I was getting more results in terms of looks, conversations, and situations that would have led to more lays that I didn't get simply because of lack of experience. I was getting more opportunity.

Emphasis added for your benefit.

 

[Mr Wright]

I know what you mean, when you first meet a girl, talking politics and philosophy will get you...no where! But I think after a while, girls do like that sort of thing, well at least from my experience. Or maybe its the girls that I date, they are usually, like myself, from a privately educated background so appreciate intelligence. I personally could not think of anything worse than dating a stupid girl, honestly, maybe I'm weird but I'd rather date a girl who is significantly less good looking to at least get a decent conversation once in a while. The truth is once that "I wanna screw you ever second of the day" phase is over, I want more than some good looks. So dumbing myself down seems ridiculous. But yes, if I was just looking to get my end away, I wouldn't dumb myself down, just not bring up what I would call interesting topics.

 

[MisterD]

It's not the focal point. The focal point is entertaining myself and being "charming", as Damian pointed out.

As I said before: I used to talk about "deep" things so frequently that I now need to swing all the way over, just to see what the other side of the spectrum is like. It's also just way too serious, and I've noticed that people want what's "fun" when they're out. It's a great way to dampen a good time by having "deep" discussions.

Also, I realized that no one cares about your dreams. If anything, it makes them uncomfortable because it makes them realize their own mediocrity and small mind. I keep my dreams to myself and a very small circle of people. There's a time and place for deep discussion. The initial meeting of women isn't that time.

I sense that there's a presupposition that changing who you are is a bad thing. It's not. Especially when who you were before was too serious and up his own ass.

I wonder, MisterD, if you're a "fun" guy or if you are overly serious, like I used to be.

no, i'm funny and charming and all those things, but the deepness is what gives me an edge. it's knowing how/when to use it effectively

while most guys are taking girls to bars/clubs and being predictable, following the same formula, i'm taking them to beaches at night and star gazing, or sitting on top of my car, looking at the night sky talking about life.

it works because since other guys don't use it, automatically i stand out

i play to peoples fantasies. that's why having deep convos (when i need to, not all the time) is so potent for me. i find out what their dreams are, their passions, and i use it to my favor.

and again, this is not all i do 24/7. it's not like i'm some hippie that can only talk about philosophical subjects and nothing else. it's one weapon that's apart of a bigger arsenal. being confident, witty/funny, bold, adventerous, etc are other elements; dreaming is just another one. dreaming/being deep is part of my personality, i'm not going to neglect it for the sake of a woman's private parts. i just use it, the right way, when necessary.

 

[Vice]

no, i'm funny and charming and all those things, but the deepness is what gives me an edge. it's knowing how/when to use it effectively

while most guys are taking girls to bars/clubs and being predictable, following the same formula, i'm taking them to beaches at night and star gazing, or sitting on top of my car, looking at the night sky talking about life.

it works because since other guys don't use it, automatically i stand out

i play to peoples fantasies. that's why having deep convos (when i need to, not all the time) is so potent for me. i find out what their dreams are, their passions, and i use it to my favor.

Been there, done that. That's like standard game for myself as well.

and again, this is not all i do 24/7. it's not like i'm some hippie that can only talk about philosophical subjects and nothing else. it's one weapon that's apart of a bigger arsenal. being confident, witty/funny, bold, adventerous, etc are other elements; dreaming is just another one. dreaming/being deep is part of my personality, i'm not going to neglect it for the sake of a woman's private parts. i just use it, the right way, when necessary.

This paragraph you just wrote pretty much describes my approach towards "dumbing myself down".

Maybe I should have elaborated that I dumb myself down to essentially get my foot in the door, but I said that I used a more feminine communications style so that I could relate to the girl and be on the same frequency as her. I'm not saying that I'm silly ALL the time.

 

[EastWind]

I come back to this and MisterD has read my thoughts and posted them here.

This may be a harsh truth, but if you truly are more intelligent than most of your peers your life will be, in a way, lonely. I'm not saying you will constantly be alone, but you will have a trying time finding people who are worthwhile to interact with. Being interested in things that are of no interest to the majority of our age group doesn't help, either (oh man, did you see Jersey Shore yesterday? No, I was figuring out a new build for my barbarian in D3. Your what in what? Never mind.)

By dumbing yourself down you are doing nothing but lying to yourself and your surroundings. Of course, if you are being a pompous/pretentious person that is a problem in itself. Being intelligent does not automatically entail being an arrogant ass. It gives you a tendency towards it, though.

One day you will learn to actively identify trains of thoughts that end in "... so I can get laid more." These are, at best, wasting your time and, at worst, potently dangerous.

Also, your goal shouldn't be to be able to talk to the majority of women. The majority of women is boring and has nothing worthwhile to say. To be fair, that applies to a lot of men, too, but in my experience, as a guy, you can take something out of a conversation with most men while you can't do the same with women.

You can be playfully intelligent. It's an admittedly fine line between that and condescending, but, hey, you're smart enough to figure it out, right?

 

[SgtSplacker]

I dunno I don't think it's about intelligence at all. I think it's all about communicating the right way at the right time. You have to measure how you communicate with people. Different people want to talk about different things in different ways. I love a nice deep philosophical conversation, but sometimes someone catches me at a moment that i'm just not having it. What i'm trying to say is that you don't want to alienate people by being too much of an expert on anything, you want to stimulate conversation, not dominate conversation. If you catch me on my couch reading and ask me a complicated question i'll totally engage. But catch me at a club with a couple drinks and you better be talking about tits.

 

[Marvin Gaye]

He's the provider. You're the lover. She's likely to get pregnant from some other dude and end up having him raise the kid without him knowing.

Read Sperm Wars by Robin Baker, and you'll understand exactly what's going on.

Read this amazing post....I was so shocked to discover it was Vice! Wow man you've really grown from being the guy who, "Shot lightning at faggots from DJ Mountain," or w/e it was.

Start a blog dude, great post, make some money off your wisdom.

 

[Desdinova]

This may be a harsh truth, but if you truly are more intelligent than most of your peers your life will be, in a way, lonely. I'm not saying you will constantly be alone, but you will have a trying time finding people who are worthwhile to interact with. Being interested in things that are of no interest to the majority of our age group doesn't help, either (oh man, did you see Jersey Shore yesterday? No, I was figuring out a new build for my barbarian in D3. Your what in what? Never mind.)

This is unfortunately the way my life works most of the time. There are lots of people (especially guys) who are into sports, video games, cars, RPGs and watching TV. I don't do any of that. I dive into record collecting, making music, building things, and a bunch of other hobbies that most people aren't into. It's truly difficult finding people that I click with. That's the great thing about having a witty sense of humor - you can make yourself interesting to just about anybody by making them laugh. It doesn't matter if they're into sports, politics, or stamp collecting, most people like to laugh.

I would like to see you try to incorporate your intelligence into that charming conversation personality and using both of your strengths in synergy. It isn't easy, but you might be surprised with how the caliber of women you attract will change.

Damian, what you've just described is my relationship with my gf. I attracted the woman by being interesting, funny, and flirty. Now we throw discussion about health, religion, and male-female relationships into the mix. The girl feels that I'm the only one she can relate to on these subjects.

 

[Vice]

You guys all have great points that are helping me get this thing wrapped up. EastWind's "playful intelligence" post and SgtSplacker's post are spot on.

I'm sharing what's working for ME. As we all know, (this is something David DeAngelo talks about btw) when you've been behaving one way for a certain amount of time and realize that that behavior hasn't been working for you, you tend to swing to the other side of the spectrum. Like a pendulum.

I'm considering starting a blog, especially since I'll be traveling to Ukraine this summer. I write fairly decent, nowhere near as elegant as Chateau Heartiste, but I think I can help a few dudes out. More so myself.

 

[HariPoter13]

Awesome. I started doing this myself just recently and I'm fucking lovin' it. I troll people just for the lulz by pretending I'm dumb. You'd be surprised how well it works. And the best thing about it? You entertain yourself