Becoming less social any advice

[Machine10033]

To start I have always been prone to being introverted. I enjoy socializing and going out with friends but realize I will always tire and need down time afterwards. This year we had a Christmas party Friday, Saturday and Sunday... at the end of the get together on Saturday I was already fatigued. Sunday came and I actually dreaded going to the get together. I got there and was social for the first hour or so... we ate... and I found myself grabbing a bottle of water and going into the living room to watch football. I sat there watching the Dallas game and mentally felt exhausted. I realized I wasn’t being social but really couldn’t do anything to change it. When I would engage it was obvious I was checked out. It was the first time I have ever felt that way. Has anyone ever dealt with this?? Looking for ways to power through... I also find this happening when I’m on vacations with my buddies. After 3 or so days with them I literally need to go awol on my own and recharge.

 

[Black Widow Void]

Seems perfectly normal to me.
Actually, I think that it's abnormal to avoid being alone... to the point of surrounding yourself with boring people. Most people are not comfortable by themselves. Sounds to me as if you are comfortable in your own skin and would rather be alone ... than to surround yourself with others that make you feel alone.

Even if I'm at a party and enjoying myself, I'll still step outside and away from others for a little 'recharge' time. I suppose that there's no 'right or wrong' way to to things. We all have our own personal 'formula' that works for us.

My advice isn't healthy, but since you asked.. I'll tell you what I do. I drink. This way, I lose track of time and even the most boring person seems more tolerable.

 

[Mike32ct]

Introverts typically prefer one on one interactions. If you must socialize, try to pick one person to talk to for a while. Your “battery” will last a bit longer that way.

Talking to multiple people will drain your battery fast.

 

[The Duke]

To start I have always been prone to being introverted. I enjoy socializing and going out with friends but realize I will always tire and need down time afterwards. This year we had a Christmas party Friday, Saturday and Sunday... at the end of the get together on Saturday I was already fatigued. Sunday came and I actually dreaded going to the get together. I got there and was social for the first hour or so... we ate... and I found myself grabbing a bottle of water and going into the living room to watch football. I sat there watching the Dallas game and mentally felt exhausted. I realized I wasn’t being social but really couldn’t do anything to change it. When I would engage it was obvious I was checked out. It was the first time I have ever felt that way. Has anyone ever dealt with this?? Looking for ways to power through... I also find this happening when I’m on vacations with my buddies. After 3 or so days with them I literally need to go awol on my own and recharge.

This is perfectly normal. I've read a lot about it. We all have different capacities for socializing. Some can't stand to be alone. I wouldn't try and change to be something I am not.

One of my ex GF's got tired of being around people. You would never know it. She talked with everyone and seemed to enjoy it. Had me fooled. On the way home she would tell me she had enough and wanted to be away from people. Once she got her fill of socializing, it was not enjoyable.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

I think the main difference between introverts and extraverts is that whereas extraverts get a charge of energy from being among other people, introverts experience a drain of energy from being among people. That's why many of these social events feel like duties -- you go through with them because you are supposed to, but they are draining your energy.

Best thing to do is limit your exposure and have frequent downtime. Interact for an hour, isolate for thirty minutes, then have a go at it again. If you keep feeling exhausted, increase the 'isolation' time.

 

[Ricky]

I have found that even though i am pretty outgoing, after a certain number of interacfions i am drained

 

[SW15]

introverts experience a drain of energy from being among people. That's why many of these social events feel like duties -- you go through with them because you are supposed to, but they are draining your energy.

I can relate to this.

Introverts typically prefer one on one interactions. If you must socialize, try to pick one person to talk to for a while. Your “battery” will last a bit longer that way.

Talking to multiple people will drain your battery fast.

I can also relate to this.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Pretty simple and as a more introverted person I can relate. You need ample time to recharge your batteries after social events. Having them day after day without necessary downtime to recharge leaves you mentally exhausted.

So the answer is don't go to ones that clustered together or only stay for a shorter length of time and use a false time constraint if you need to so you can leave early and get your downtime in.

This stuff is very common around the holidays and why so many are thrilled once it's over so they can go back to normal life and not feel forced to attend so many events and gatherings. People mean well but don't realize they are essentially guilt tripping people into declining mental health due to them wanting to maintain "traditions" or appearances when people may not be mentally up to it.

Essentially my advice moving forward is pick and choose what you do and don't do and make no apologies when you let people know that you cannot attend something. They don't apologize for inadvertently acting like d!ckbags.

 

[Giovanni SouthSide]

Ashwagandha ksm-66 and cold showers. Take half a dose in the morning with water on an empty stomach then jump in a cold shower.
Do a test run for 7 days. That should “dull the edges” and fluidity will be natural.

 

[Millard Fillmore]

Totally normal and I am similar. I draw my energy on being alone and spend it on socializing. Some people are the opposite.

 

[Slowhandluke]

I'm an introvert. I can spend hours working or being in my own head. I've noticed if I schedule "socializing time", it works for me. I'm fairly socially adept. Its just that I get lost doing things that are not sociable. Also, as an introvert, I do need alone time to recharge.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

The truth is most people are narrow minded idiocracy types nowadays, they possess the attention span of gnat. There’s nothing worse than being stuck at a function full of imbeciles.

I am ever so slightly ADD, and when the volume goes up I sometimes go into full fight or flight, happens maybe 1-2 times a year. I’ll excuse myself, and go for a 10 minute breather. Not much of a drinker but it does help, especially if others are most of the way to being drunk.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

To start I have always been prone to being introverted. I enjoy socializing and going out with friends but realize I will always tire and need down time afterwards. This year we had a Christmas party Friday, Saturday and Sunday... at the end of the get together on Saturday I was already fatigued. Sunday came and I actually dreaded going to the get together. I got there and was social for the first hour or so... we ate... and I found myself grabbing a bottle of water and going into the living room to watch football. I sat there watching the Dallas game and mentally felt exhausted. I realized I wasn’t being social but really couldn’t do anything to change it. When I would engage it was obvious I was checked out. It was the first time I have ever felt that way. Has anyone ever dealt with this?? Looking for ways to power through... I also find this happening when I’m on vacations with my buddies. After 3 or so days with them I literally need to go awol on my own and recharge.

One of my favorite new blood PUAS is Austen Summers. He's a extreme introvert. Prefers solitude. Things like solo hiking and finds people draining. I highly suggest that you check out that archive.

There's nothing wrong with that. Embrace your own crazy. The past 3 years demonstrated that abundance of low IQ morons wearing face masks and taking several heart injuring boosters. Tbh I don't like most people. Almost everyone is a NPC today. You saw who are your tribe and people during the insanity. Who called you? If you approach a 100 girls, how many do you pull? There's very few people that are your mates or Bae that's ride or die.

Rsd Ty is a bizarre dude. Likely a bit crazy and the asperger spectrum self reported. He's a introvert and monopolized pickup for nearly 2 decades and made a deca millionaire status plus. It's has its ups and downs.

Check out Ecky tolle or mooji. Read Tao te ching. Go in nature. Take up hiking. Meditate and pray. Do things to energize yourself. I took up calisthenics and cut my gym membership. I terminated several contacts including long time mates or others. Start a new.


I'm a ambivert. I used to think I'm extroverted but I fluctuate. I'm more social based on exposure, sales as a kid, and absurd amounts of pickup. Beyond pulling, I found most aren't DHV. People are DLV today and need to be discarded most often then not. After pulling, I want my solitude. Icy AFTER but no technique. No games. I want freedom. I want isolation.

The 3 yr of solitude was refreshing if not for the insanity of shutting down the world because of the flu. Solitude or time spent with a moron wearing a face mask alone in his car on route for another heart attack causing injection? It's a no Brainer. I pick solitude. Every time.

Your danger is too much isolation and atrophy of that million dollar mouth piece. That gift of gab. Even if I was foolish to adopt monogamy, I would still approach for sport just to flex.

Everyday SHOOT your shot again for sport. 3-5×. Our natural state is sloth and mediocrity. It's incumbent upon you to escape the mundanity of everyday life. Or suffer the consequences of mediocrity. There's no ambiguity.

Choose your destiny. LFG!