Beautiful girl always putting up hoops

[viking22]

I hit up this beautiful girl I had 4 dates with last summer. 3rd date was very promising we went for dinner then an outdoor free concert then making out and heavy petting in the park and since then she was blowing up my phone. But 4th date she inexplicably cooled off and afterwards said dating wasn’t a priority as she was moving flat and had just started a new job etc and also hinted I’d done something to make her cool off without being specific.

Anyway a few weeks ago I texted her again as I’d remembered it was her birthday and she was quite chatty so I asked her out. She said that the reason it didn’t work last time aside from her being not in the right headspace for dating was that I wasn’t thoughtful enough and she didn’t think I’d be able to show her enough care and attention and affection which is what she wants in a relationship. She also referenced the fact that on our doomed 4th date when she wanted to meet up close to her work I countered with a central location and said that I should be thinking about where she wants to meet and what she wants to do. And also that I never seemed to want to meet her friends (she had a habit of giving me last minute invitations to join her and her friends which I refused at the time as I alrqdy

But she said it would be nice to meet up to talk. As with last year scheduling anything with her is a nightmare as during the week says she doesn’t know what time she’ll finish at work and doesn’t like making weekend plans in advance so invariably she’ll just suggest something at short notice. But I figured may as well get the first meeting out of the way.

We had a good time and there was some chemistry and she was sitting very close and was smiley and chatty and after a few hours it got late and she got an Uber. I went for a kiss and got her cheek but she continued to text me after the meeting.

We tried to set up another meeting same issue and after claiming work pressure said she might be able to do Friday night if she finished early and her communal building had a cinema we could go to. But predictably she finished late.

Then this morning she said her friend who she introduced me to briefly at the start of our 4th date as they were hanging out while she was waiting for me to arrive warned her off. The friend said shortly after being introduced to me I swiped right on her on a dating app. I have zero memory of this. The girl I like said even though it was probably after we stopped dating it was unacceptable and she doesn’t want to see me again.

I said that I have no memory of seeing her friend on any dating apps and if I swiped right it must have been by accident as I don’t pay close attention when I’m swiping but if we’d matched and I’d realised it was her I wouldn’t have taken it further because the girl wasn’t my type and I didn’t want to get involved with any of her friends. She has yet to reply.

It seems I can’t win and she has an endless supply of reasons to not see me again. And clearly her friends are troublemakers and she’s influenced by them. And I think what she means when she says I’m not thoughtful enough is she wants someone who fits entirely around her schedule and is immediately available when she’s not with her friends or busy with work at short notice and will meet wherever she wants and do whatever she wants.

Id give up but she’s probably the prettiest girl I’ve ever dated and she’s putting a lot of effort into putting hoops up when she could just easily say shes not interested in me doesn’t feel a connection etc

is there anything I can do to turn the tables and deal with her BS better ?

 

[Giovanni SouthSide]

1234 dates and still didn’t didn’t give it up.

A turned on female with a gun blazin phoenix spark of attraction would have already threw the bat signal late at night yesterday for you to take it and I mean take for what’s in between her thighs
and this one ain’t it.
She brushed you off and gave u the cheek with the cold shoulder at the end of it all.
“and she doesn’t want to see me again”
cool. my reply- crickets
Gather your dignity and bust a clean swift exit my boy

 

[BackInTheGame78]

No this is simply her telling you she isn't interested

 

[Dr.Suave]

But 4th date she inexplicably cooled off and afterwards said dating wasn’t a priority as she was moving flat and had just started a new job etc and also hinted I’d done something to make her cool off without being specific.

What she meant is dating you wasnt a priority.

There´s a guy here in SoSuave. I cant remember his name atm or I would tag him. He said something along the lines of:

"Unless she´s a virgin, she has 30 seconds to get naked and jump on my d1ck or she´s out". You should be a little bit more like him.

 

[Stanley]

This girls sounds about as fun as eating crackers without water. She has a whole list of demands and expectations of you and drops you at the slightest thing. Just move on, she isn't interested enough and if she was she certainly isn't worth it. These girls are the worst man, no fun to be had

 

[BackInTheGame78]

What she meant is dating you wasnt a priority.

There´s a guy here in SoSuave. I cant remember his name atm or I would tag him. He said something along the lines of:

"Unless she´s a virgin, she has 30 seconds to get naked and jump on my d1ck or she´s out". You should be a little bit more like him.

She simply isn't interested. This isn't that hard. It doesn't matter how many times she is willing to hang out, if it never progresses to sex the assumption is she isn't interested.

 

[devilkingx2]

In my experience hot women are usually very nice but boring or they think they're a goddess. Good luck getting any effort out of them, they're just a pretty face.

In general 90-95% of women won't be very interesting but in my experience all of the women I can think of with a strong positive personality are in the 5-7 range.

 

[viking22]

She replied to say her flatmate was pretty sure it was me as she received the like shortly after she introduced the flatmate to me before our 4th date last summer which was incredible. She said she was glad that she found out now before it was too late!

I didn't bother replying as clearly there is no logic to it and she is clearly just trying to rationalize her low interest by manufacturing imagined wrongdoings.

Most of the girls I date are in the 6-7 range and never have any of these kind of issues. They make an effort and if they aren't interested or lose interest they generally won't waste your time and will simply stop replying to texts or say that they are not interested in taking things further.

It seems to mostly be a feature of pretty girls that they will string guys along or keep guys as back-up. As I've had similar experiences with pretty girls in the past where they go on dates without ever making much effort or showing much interest but you never get anywhere with them, have to put up with a lot of flakiness and excuses and they blow hot and cold so you can always rationalize sticking around longer than you should and then eventually after you've wasted a lot of time, money and effort they eventually cut you off entirely.

 

[Barrister]

You're overthinking this. As other have pointed out, accept this as a soft rejection and move on. She isn't interested in you for whatever reason. Don't become an orbiter and just feed her ego at this point.

Second, she is actually doing you a favor. She sounds like a time-waster. You went on 4 dates and got nothing. Why do you want to make it five? In this day in age, if a woman is not putting out in some form by Date 3 (Date 4 absolute maximum) you need to just move on and stop wasting your time.

 

[Stuffnu]

Eating tasty little breadcrumbs will always leave you unfulfilled.

 

[Bingo-Player]

OP the first two words in your title say it all

You have to understand "beautiful" women are common as dirt its why cosmetic & fashion industry is worth a trillion bucks

Picture her when she first wakes up in the morning or is sitting on the toilet taking a dump she aint that special trust me

Alas until men learn to start valuing women more on their behaviour we will keep hearing these stories

Most women will literally change their behaviour like the weather depending on how much they respect you

This woman has next to no respect for you and thats why she has chewed you up and spat you out

Time for you to go ghost

 

[BillyPilgrim]

OP - you have 16 years on the forum. Why don't you know better than to have a big "event" date before sex? Why don't you know better than to engage in heavy makeout and petting sessions in a public location?

This is basic sh1t.

 

[Gamisch]

I hit up this beautiful girl I had 4 dates with last summer. 3rd date was very promising we went for dinner then an outdoor free concert then making out and heavy petting in the park and since then she was blowing up my phone. But 4th date she inexplicably cooled off and afterwards said dating wasn’t a priority as she was moving flat and had just started a new job etc and also hinted I’d done something to make her cool off without being specific.

Anyway a few weeks ago I texted her again as I’d remembered it was her birthday and she was quite chatty so I asked her out. She said that the reason it didn’t work last time aside from her being not in the right headspace for dating was that I wasn’t thoughtful enough and she didn’t think I’d be able to show her enough care and attention and affection which is what she wants in a relationship. She also referenced the fact that on our doomed 4th date when she wanted to meet up close to her work I countered with a central location and said that I should be thinking about where she wants to meet and what she wants to do. And also that I never seemed to want to meet her friends (she had a habit of giving me last minute invitations to join her and her friends which I refused at the time as I alrqdy

But she said it would be nice to meet up to talk. As with last year scheduling anything with her is a nightmare as during the week says she doesn’t know what time she’ll finish at work and doesn’t like making weekend plans in advance so invariably she’ll just suggest something at short notice. But I figured may as well get the first meeting out of the way.

We had a good time and there was some chemistry and she was sitting very close and was smiley and chatty and after a few hours it got late and she got an Uber. I went for a kiss and got her cheek but she continued to text me after the meeting.

We tried to set up another meeting same issue and after claiming work pressure said she might be able to do Friday night if she finished early and her communal building had a cinema we could go to. But predictably she finished late.

Then this morning she said her friend who she introduced me to briefly at the start of our 4th date as they were hanging out while she was waiting for me to arrive warned her off. The friend said shortly after being introduced to me I swiped right on her on a dating app. I have zero memory of this. The girl I like said even though it was probably after we stopped dating it was unacceptable and she doesn’t want to see me again.

I said that I have no memory of seeing her friend on any dating apps and if I swiped right it must have been by accident as I don’t pay close attention when I’m swiping but if we’d matched and I’d realised it was her I wouldn’t have taken it further because the girl wasn’t my type and I didn’t want to get involved with any of her friends. She has yet to reply.

It seems I can’t win and she has an endless supply of reasons to not see me again. And clearly her friends are troublemakers and she’s influenced by them. And I think what she means when she says I’m not thoughtful enough is she wants someone who fits entirely around her schedule and is immediately available when she’s not with her friends or busy with work at short notice and will meet wherever she wants and do whatever she wants.

Id give up but she’s probably the prettiest girl I’ve ever dated and she’s putting a lot of effort into putting hoops up when she could just easily say shes not interested in me doesn’t feel a connection etc

is there anything I can do to turn the tables and deal with her BS better ?

Oke, everyone pointed out that she blew you off nicely. But what about YOUR behaviour throughout all of this?

You basically told her from the start she was out of your league and that you were THRILLED to go on a date with her. And gentlemen, watch what happens; he takes her on a socalled " GREAT " date, expects more committment and eagerness from her side but the exact opposite happens!!

I'll play my record; 1st date is making sure she gets wet like a waterfall. She should be HARDLY able to resist you. If you dont feck her you should send her home frustrated (while you laugh at her) and she should be telling you.

2nd date is the finisher. She has her poosy shaved, and silently agrees with your date location even if ,or especially if she knows you've set it up in a way that might end up with sex.

There is no such thing as a 3rd date when this doesn't happen. 3rd date to a freaking concert (and my geuss is you payed. Went Dutch with a lukewarm interested woman? You also lose), while this is probably the worst type of date you can take a woman to. Especially one that didn't even deserves such a "huge date".

Again, see how she actually wants more distance after all that? I am "surprised " you couldn't tell by her behavior during the date, but oke,some women are great actors and combined with all your other actions it makes sense you weren't able to read her signs properly.

Lastly she had to resort to pity excuses to get rid of you, such as swiping right on a friend after 2020. And to finish shyte off you ALSO diss her bff(!!) and yourself by saying you are a power swiper(aka man without standards)that wouldn't date her friend.

On scale from 1 to 10 you get a 2.

You did everything wrong.

 

[Gamisch]

Oke, everyone pointed out that she blew you off nicely. But what about YOUR behaviour throughout all of this?

You basically told her from the start she was out of your league and that you were THRILLED to go on a date with her. And gentlemen, watch what happens; he takes her on a socalled " GREAT " date, expects more committment and eagerness from her side but the exact opposite happens!!

I'll play my record; 1st date is making sure she gets wet like a waterfall. She should be HARDLY able to resist you. If you dont feck her you should send her home frustrated (while you laugh at her) and she should be telling you.

2nd date is the finisher. She has her poosy shaved, and silently agrees with your date location even if ,or especially if she knows you've set it up in a way that might end up with sex.

There is no such thing as a 3rd date when this doesn't happen. 3rd date to a freaking concert (and my geuss is you payed. Went Dutch with a lukewarm interested woman? You also lose), while this is probably the worst type of date you can take a woman to. Especially one that didn't even deserves such a "huge date".

Again, see how she actually wants more distance after all that? I am "surprised " you couldn't tell by her behavior during the date, but oke,some women are great actors and combined with all your other actions it makes sense you weren't able to read her signs properly.

Lastly she had to resort to pity excuses to get rid of you, such as swiping right on a friend after 2020. And to finish shyte off you ALSO diss her bff(!!) and yourself by saying you are a power swiper(aka man without standards)that wouldn't date her friend.

On scale from 1 to 10 you get a 2.

You did everything wrong.

You should be happy she rejected you. It wont be long untill you find one that will squeeze you dry and use you and throw you away like a tampon.

This gentlemen, is what happens when you date women that have a low IL. if she isnt all over you after 2 dates she doesn't want you. All the " reasons and excuses " making her feel sick to her stomach, and she'll despise you as a man for not being able to tell she is not interested. But you are " such a nice guy" that she tries to let you down easy. If you kept pushing after the excuse about her friend , she probably would've went psychopath on your azz out of frustration, and you would " just think" she is crazy...

 

[MatureDJ]

In her mind, you were Beta-Orbiter-tier while she was looking for someone who mogged you; when she found him, it was OVER for you.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

She replied to say her flatmate was pretty sure it was me as she received the like shortly after she introduced the flatmate to me before our 4th date last summer which was incredible. She said she was glad that she found out now before it was too late!

I didn't bother replying as clearly there is no logic to it and she is clearly just trying to rationalize her low interest by manufacturing imagined wrongdoings.

Most of the girls I date are in the 6-7 range and never have any of these kind of issues. They make an effort and if they aren't interested or lose interest they generally won't waste your time and will simply stop replying to texts or say that they are not interested in taking things further.

It seems to mostly be a feature of pretty girls that they will string guys along or keep guys as back-up. As I've had similar experiences with pretty girls in the past where they go on dates without ever making much effort or showing much interest but you never get anywhere with them, have to put up with a lot of flakiness and excuses and they blow hot and cold so you can always rationalize sticking around longer than you should and then eventually after you've wasted a lot of time, money and effort they eventually cut you off entirely.

Some women just don't like rejecting guys and instead do things to let them know they aren't really interested instead and hope they pick up on the clues. She sounds like one of these women.