Beating the AFCurse

[Ollie101]

Latley I have been having some serious self control issues keeping the douchebag afc locked away in a cupboard. not in terms of the way I interact with women, but how I proceed after meeting up or somthing similar.

I tend to blow my chances over texts or calls, using moves that get an immediate and obvious effect e.g being overly friendly and getting alot of "Awwws" quickly followed by an LJBF or just simply coming off as needy.

so I was wondering if any hardened DJ's out there have any tips on how to beat my desire for instant gratification?

happy holidays and all that guys.

 

[Nefarious]

Coming from a very similar situation.

Read pook's fifteen lessons post (in dj bible)... specifically his lesson about patience.

It's great that you can meet women, your ahead of alot of people here.
It sounds like you get over excited and want to cling to your "targets".

This obviously pushes them away. You have to know, that by not talking to them you show them you are not needy. This attracts them. Win the war.

The answer is to be busy. Find some hobbies, not all of them have to be productive. When my minds on a girl I play video games. It takes my mind off things. Figure out what you like to do and do it. The girls will follow.

Hope that helps.

 

[Buddha_Mind]

What sorts of texts are you sending them? What are you saying?

Change your strategy. Next time you feel the urge to send a text similar to ones you've sent before (that have received, the aww, LJBF), stop and think. Reword. Take a different approach.

If you are coddling them with complements, try changing things with some playful teasing (ie, show them you don't take them too seriously, and are able to give them a bit of a hard time just like you might anyone else).

 

[Lexington]

Ironically, my success with women seemed to really pickup after I'd given up. For a time, I had resigned myself to my fate. I accepted that I'd never be successful with women. That's what made me more attractive all of a sudden. I wasn't trying so hard anymore; my sense of desperation was lost. Girls could pickup on this. Desperation truly is the biggest killer of attraction.

So my advice is to be nonchalant. Never focus your attention on one girl. Or even a few girls. Just go out there and work your stuff purely for fun. Don't even think about results. When you have this carefree attitude, you are more likely to succeed.

The truth is that there's only a few guidelines on how NOT to screw up with women. But there's no formula that will guarantee success with all women. You'll be shocked to find that some women who you thought were out of your league want you bad and then some less attractive chicks will shoot you down!

When you truly don't give a sh*t, that's when you will be the antithesis of an AFC. You could care less about whether specific women want you or not. You just go about doing your thing. If you succeed with a particular chick, great......if not there are plenty more out there.

You should always want the girl less than she wants you. That's what makes you truly attractive. But we all want women don't we? We really badly want to get laid. That's why you have to have an abundance mentality. That way, you never care about a particular girl more than she does about you.

This attitude applies to life in general. Too many people spend all their time worrying and fretting about things. They spend more time being anxious than actually getting useful stuff done! Get after what you want. Don't over think it. What's going to happen is going to happen. Just deal with situations as they arise and take things the way they come.

 

[BOSS SWAGGA]

I think that you are putting waaay too much effort into it. It should flow more natural

 

[Proselytiser]

Release any idea of any outcome I guess. If you are vibing with a girl, feed off the vibe and let the vibe be the reward in itself.

You need other hobbies too, other things to do that REALLY satisfy you. Make all your time constructive - even if its only constructive in that its entertaining you. Am I likely to be pining over a girl I spoke too earlier in the day if I am now totally engrossed in a good book or movie or album or sport? No and if she messages me or calls me it'll be an unwelcome distraction, however much I like her.

At this point you aren't even caring what happens, if I have no fun with her, cool I can finish off that book or I can still make cricket training tonight, whatever. What I'm saying is have something equal/better lined up.