BeanDean's Journal of Awesome

[BeanDean]

Okay, I'm going to start a journal. I know there's a bunch already, and they're awesome as ****, so I want to do one too.

Background:
I'm 17.
6 ft tall
Slightly chubby.
Indian.
I like good clothes.
I never had problems socializing, and when I think back girls were kind of into me. In 9th grade I met a girl. She was into me for like, 4 days? Then I got obsessive and needy and she didn't like me.
I didn't get over her for EIGHT MONTHS.
She's one of my best friends now and she helps me with girls all the time

In 10th grade I started reading about pick up and attraction. I loved david deangelo's stuff cause it fit easiest in my personality.

So I used all these techniques, girls were attracted to me, but I still didn't kiss or make out with a girl for that whole year. In fact, I've only made out with two girls. No BJs, Handjobs, sex, haven't fingered her, seen a puss, nothing.
I'm 17.

I like to think I've mastered the art of conversation. I can talk, listen, reply, question, whatever. Only recently, after about a year and a half of this stuff, have I grown REAL BALLS.

NOW i can finally TOUCH girls (OMGG!!1)
NOW I'm talking sexually to girls
NOW I DO more READ less.

The main issues i have to work around are:
My parents don't let me have girls over, EVER.
I can't go to clubs..
My parents ALWAYS have to know where i am, call me like 3242349 times when I'm out
Where I can take girls to **** is limited, but I'm willing to try anything.

GOALS:
Get laid
Get into the university of my choice
Get a six pack
Go to international competition level for DECA (business club thing that i'm president of)
Get laid
Drop six points a game during basketball season (I come off the bench so it's a good goal for me)

Now I begin.

 

[BeanDean]

Day 1: September 7, 2011

Today was the first day of school.
It was awesome.
I don't approach girls in school, since there aren't many people in my school.
I go to girls in groups where I know someone, I can take over the conversation from there.

Anyways, I just started talking to one girl, lets call her Red, by her favorite color.

She's into me, I'm into her. Definitely not girlfriend material, but I want in.

Haven't been talking to her for long, have one class with her and she wants to be in my group for a project

I also struck up a conversation with a cutie a year younger than me. Lets call her Mini, cause she looks like a mini version of one of my friends.

I did the mind reading game on Mini, (pick a # from 1-4). She thought it was stupid, but I still made her laugh
I'll flirt with her when I see her, but might just make her a good friend because she's friends with all the cuties at school.

Another girl, lets call her Game, cause she likes to play video games.
Game is actually an ex of one of my friends, she's one of the two girls I've made out with haha. He doesn't know I hook up with her, he'd be sad if he found out. I wish I could say I give a crap, but I really don't. I feel like such a robot sometimes.

I'm going to her house tomorrow, and I want to get more than a make out this time. The last two times I hookd up with her she always stopped my hands, I think I move too fast and pushy.

To be honest, I bet I can get girls alone and kiss them, but after that I have no clue how to turn them on and make them crazy! I really want to do that, I want her to be sexy for me.. Anyways I'll go to Game's house tomorrow, and try something different, slow it down.

Any tips on how to turn her on physically?
Also, there's lots of cuties in my classes, so it should go well as the semester goes on.

 

[NorwegianDJ]

Awesome journal dude!

Okay, so I'd advise you to talk to your parents in a friendly way about this. Say that it's okay that they call you when you're out, but can they limit it to once, maybe twice? Ask if it's ok to have a girl over, maybe state that you're not having sex (be a bit careful with this word, cause some words my mom just freaks out about. The word my mom hates is 'protein powder' if you have to know )

Also, how are you gonna get that six pack? It doesn't come from 100 sit-ups a day. Do some reading, fix your diet and start gymming

Vary your kisses. Im telling you, when you want to turn them on; HARD KISSES
Grab the back of her head by the root of her hair. Like under the head but above/on her neck if you get me. Tease her, let your hands wander.

 

[BeanDean]

Yeah I eat too many damn cookies.. I can't hit the gym cause it's kind of far and I have to put all my spare time into school. Alright I'll talk to my parents next time it happens. As for the girl thing, I'm not sure... If I say she's over for a project then it's cool, but if they're home sex won't be happening anyways.

Day 2: September 8, 2011

OKAY, so I was supposed to go to Game's house today, but she flaked. This girl has brushed me off many times since we last hooked up when I wanted to hang out. I really don't care for her, so I told her we're done.

Me: okay enough. You keep trying to make me chase you. I don't play games with you. Bye
Her: *Random stupidness*
Me: I'm not arguing with you and I'm not mad, we clearly just don't have the time for each other.
Her: *Random stupidness x2*
Me: Haha like I said, I'm not arguing with you. Maybe next year.
Her: *MORE RANDOM STUPIDNESS*

I didn't reply.
Anyways, I wasn't really mad, just tired of making the effort. In fact, after she started arguing I felt really good cause she really wanted to keep it. I think that's called feeling validated? I know this stuff is about making girls feel better, but I enjoyed the fact that she's mad about it.

Today, Red has moved seats and now sits beside me I started meeting her friends too, and they are all ****ing sexy.

Is it possible to bang two girls in the same crew?

I didn't talk to Mini today, I saw her though I should've struck up a conversation. ****. I still don't know exactly what to say. My primary goal is Red right now though, I've been trying something interesting.

Me: Hey, you're coming over today right?
Her: No..
Me: Oh so I'm coming over?
Her: haha no
Me: Wow you want to bang in public places? You really are adventurous
her: hahhahaha *give me the **** giggle* nooo

Then we sat down and here's where I tried something new. What I did was I said something extremely sexual, then I'd look at her and ask her a question bout herself. Stop. Then repeat. And I kept switching from the topic of sex, to something about me and her. I did this repeatedly, and everytime I'd switch to something about her, she'd be a bit more turned on.

Me: Would you be down for a threesome?
Her: Yeah I'd try it
Me: How bout with me you and her
Her: Noo I'd never **** anyone in this school
Me: except me, but I'm going to make you wait
her: hahah shut upp
Me: Hey do you know how to drive?
Her: BLAH BLAH BLAH conversation about boring driving while I picture her naked
Me: you're sexy I'm sexy, lets be sexy together
Her: hahahha noo

She keeps saying no though, but I think she's into it I've been giving her a lot of attention though, so I'm going to stop the sexual stuff for tomorrow.

I also met a new girl, lets call her Kay. The reason why I'm calling her that is weird, but it makes sense to me.

So Kay had a boyfriend last year, muscular dude, and I'm not sure if they're still together. A lot of guys flirt with her on the regular. I think she's attracted to me, but she sits behind me. We're partners for a project so hopefully I'll get the chance for that.

REVIEW OF THE DAY:
Game is cut out
Mini must be talked to
Red must be taken to a private location
Must make sure Kay does not have a boyfriend, and then she must be flirted with.

 

[NorwegianDJ]

Yeah you can, you just have to **** the leader (hottest one often) first. Source: counquer your campus.

 

[Rhino]

Unless you're satisfied with the lower value girls in the circle. You can work your way down, but you can't work your way up.

 

[BeanDean]

I can't quite figure out who the leader is, but the hottest one definitely isn't the leader. I didn't integrate myself with the WHOLE crew yet, cause there's a lot of em haha, but should I make friends with all of them except the hot one? Then when I'm friends with them and we're having fun she'll try to get my attention right?

 

[Rhino]

I can't quite figure out who the leader is, but the hottest one definitely isn't the leader. I didn't integrate myself with the WHOLE crew yet, cause there's a lot of em haha, but should I make friends with all of them except the hot one? Then when I'm friends with them and we're having fun she'll try to get my attention right?

Yeah, just have it be a natural progression, where you're friends with a couple and then start hanging out with them. It helps a lot to be friends with the leader and join the group that way - Braddock teaches that in social circle mastery because the status of the person who bring you into the social tree is where you start until you establish yourself.
And she won't necessarily try to get your attention, but you have to branch off with the girl and kinda do your own thing while still being with the group. That creates the whole dating dynamic.

 

[BeanDean]

Alright gotcha!

Day 3 September 9,2011

Okay today I didn't meet any new girls. Is it weird that I don't even want any of the cuties I know? I mean, I wouldn't mind having sex with them, but I just feel so disconnected. They're all the damn same, they laugh at the same jokes and reply similarly to all questions. I can create attraction with any girl.

What I don't know how to do is create comfort and make them pursue me. I take the frame of someone in control someone she wants, but IM still the one chasing. Even though I'm being attractive and she loves being around me, I'm always having to push. When does the pursuing begin, when does she start texting me first? Does it ever? I know these girls are attracted to me, but they don't need me.

So I guess what I need help with is,
1. Creating more comfort, enough so that she'll want to spend more time with me.
2. Making her dependent on the feeling I give her. If she doesn't need what I have, why would she take me? So how do I make her need what I got?

I'm funny, I dress nice, I'm focused in school, I play on a school team, I'm the president of a huge club, I know tons of people in the school, I'm positive as ****, I talk to all the girls in all of my classes, meet new ones in school but I'm still not ****ing getting what I want! I'm not getting laid, and it's really really getting to me. Rant over.

This rant made me notice something. I have trouble making them comfortable enough so that they want to hang out with me away from school, one on one.

 

[BeanDean]

Day 4 September 10, 2011

OK, so I'm not going out today because I'm finishing up all my projects I have for school, but I've begun to read "Conquer Your Campus" after NorwegianDJ mentioned it. It talks about how you should be a value GIVER at all times.

Now, although I always try and have fun, I've noticed that in the back of my mind I'd always be thinking "Look good for the girl make sure she's noticing" and other things along those lines. Also, I haven't been leading and making plans with my friends, I keep expecting them to call me up.

I've decided that I'm just going to stop being so desperate about wanting to get laid. When getting laid is on your mind all the time, that's desperation. Even thought I don't "act desperate", the fact that I'm constantly thinking about getting more girls to get more lays is, in my opinion, a desperate state of mind.

New question I ask myself at any given moment:
What can I do to make someone feel the best they possibly can when they're around me?

I'm not coming from a place where I want to give them everything, no. I just want to make them feel good, and I realized I was being an ******* to Game on day 2, so I hit her up on facebook chat and let her know. My ego wouldn't let me say sorry, but I'm going to 'walk her home' on monday.

me: Hey, I want to talk to you but not online, what's your schedule like this weekend?
Her: I'm going to be out celebrating my mom's birthday
Me: okay, then I'll walk you home on monday and take the bus from the stop across your house.
her: where are you going?
me: home
her: okay, youre just walking with me and going home? **
me: yeah

** I don't really plan on just going home, but my instincts told me to tell her I would be.

Also, I got Kay's number, which I forgot to mention yesterday. I don't know if she's still with her boyfriend, but I needed it to work on our assignment anyways. I haven't decided if I want her or not, we'll see how it goes

 

[BeanDean]

September 14 2011

Haven't updated in a while, school is craaazy.
I've personally lost interest in all the girls I talk to... But I think that's my personal excuse for not knowing enough girls.
I got Red to introduce me to the hottest girl in her group nice. Time to play!
Kay doesn't have a boyfriend, yess! But I don't find her that interesting, so I probably won't go after it.

I realized that I don't really want to lose my virginity. I jus felt this whole time that it was the "man" thing to do. I don't give a ****. It's up to ME to decide who I deem WORTHY of my virginity. I don't care if I graduate a virgin. Who cares? ***** isn't life.

I still believe in self improvement, and reaching your full potential. Plus I still want to get 100% social and attractive, so I'm going to keep writing in this journal and flirting with girls. Who knows, maybe I'll get laid on the side.

Also, I've begun to watch the mastery series by David Deangelo, this is really good because so far its teaching things that don't even JUST apply to women. He teaches Mastery of Self. I've learned to apply just his first disc to basketball and school, and I'm sure I'll get results, because it just feels to me like it works.

Anyways, I've met a couple new girls, but they're just typical.. None I want to work for.

One thing I currently struggle with is knowing when to pull back. When do you give her the "gift of missing you?" Do I talk to her for a week straight then pull back the next two days and wait for her to hit me up? Do I do it after three days? When do I "Use absence to increase respect and power" as written in the 48 Laws of Power (Great book, but don't let it twist up your morals, use what fits into your values)

 

[BeanDean]

September 24, 2011
Okay.. so I haven't updated in almost 10 days. The reason is because I've been listening to David Deangelo's Mastery program.. It talks about getting your beliefs and attitudes in line, and finding your purpose. I spent a lot of time to myself the whole time cause I kept thinking about my purpose. It focuses very little on technique.

SO this is the beginning of a NEW journal. The journal leading to mastery.

GOALS:
Still want that six pack. I'm starting Insanity today, and I'm fixing my diet as of now.
Get into university of choice, I need a 90% average. I'm already working hard towards it
Grow 2 inches in height. I'm around 5'11 right now, I want to be around 6'1 or 6'2. I can't really work towards this, but it'd be cool if it happened
Get way better at basketball so I can GET OFF THE ****ING BENCH. I think Insanity will help this as well.
Make some gooood friends.
Have the time of my life this year
Become a master DJ!

These are my new goals, I took getting laid out of them. I'm confident I'll get laid as long as I stay on my path.

As for updates on my women, I didn't contact any of them because I've been busy with myself. I'm done watching the program, and I'm going to be back on it

 

[BeanDean]

Yesterday I was at a leadership conference to represent my club at school. I was flirting with this one girl, she's around a 7, and she was running the whole event. She did something totally unexpected, something that's never happened to me before. I wasn't looking to get a number or anything, just looking for something to entertain me durin the break.

Her: Hey I gotta go now
Me: *Smiles*
Her: here *Gives me number*
Me on the inside: WTF COOL
Me: *Smiles* bye

felt good

I haven't texted her or anything, I'll do it tomorrow. I should have texted her right after the conference yesterday, but I was all "I should wait 2 days". I dunno, but it doesn't matter.

Anyways, my hard work in school is paying off so far, got a 90% on my math test, and aced my two presentations. My English class is the only one I'm doing bad in, even though it's my favorite subject. Weird.

Also, I seem to have a lot of trouble remembering my conversations with people, my memory's really blurry. When I lie down at night to remember my day, it's often a blur. I used to have an amaazing memory, I should talk to my doctor.
Today was day 4 of Insanity, it is tough!! but I love it.
I learned something really good at the presentation yesterday:

The number 1 thing that holds us back is our own perception. Rather than saying something is impossible, how can we change the boundaries to make the impossible, possible?

 

[BeanDean]

I got sick all of a sudden, feel like ****.

Spent the day tryna keep my eyes open during class, and when I said hi to HB Kay she completely ignored me.
I find that weird cause we don't really have enough of a connection for her to be mad at me for anything. She's probably just playing with me, whatever I'm not really into her.

I spent all lunch teaching math to one of my good friends. Probably going to repeat tomorrow. I really feel great when I help people.

Didn't do insanity today, just slept as soon as I got home till just now.

 

[BeanDean]

I got sick all of a sudden, feel like ****.

Spent the day tryna keep my eyes open during class, and when I said hi to HB Kay she completely ignored me.
I find that weird cause we don't really have enough of a connection for her to be mad at me for anything. She's probably just playing with me, whatever I'm not really into her.

I spent all lunch teaching math to one of my good friends. Probably going to repeat tomorrow. I really feel great when I help people.

Didn't do insanity today, just slept as soon as I got home till just now.