Be Vulnerable: Advice on how to progress past attraction

syncmaster

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Hey All;
I came across this by accident not too long ago in an attempt to start an LTR. I was chatting w/ this girl on the phone & on webcam and she made me blush. I can't remember exactly what she said but that wasn't the point. I was showing my "vulnerable" side. She LOVED it. She kept telling me afterwards that she thought I was a really cool guy and that it's really nice to meet someone who isn't all macho.

Alpha male-ism works extremley well to attract a girl, but you do have to put down your guard sometimes. This is similar to a grounding routine, but non-verbal.

I crashed lately (pua rollercoaster) and it was brought to my attention by a few female friends that I have the personality and the "aura" of a player. This has been extremley counter productive. I was even told by a girl I was dating that that had been her primary concern when going out with me. She didn't want to feel like "just another girl."

When I blushed I told her that it hardly ever happens (which is true). She was the one that got to me. She felt like she had the capability to bring out the softer side.S uddenly she no longer became "just another girl."

I went on a day 2 last night and it went extremley well. This girl was REALLY intelligent. I showed her a couple of magic tricks and she figured out both of them. She thought it was dorky and cute but even though the tricks failed, they had the same effect. I was just a normal guy under neath the cool alpha male exterior. We're going out again tomorrow.

Three days ago I was chatting to one of my friends pivots (the one who Orleans and I hung out w/ on St. Patty's) and we were talking about relationships. Personally, i'm tired of dating random girls and want something more commited. She said she felt the same way and the conversation just started flowing. I was "vulnerable" and no longer had that player mentality. We're going out on Sat.

Women find it extremley attractive that you have the option of almost any girl you want, but if you're looking to start something more serious then the odds of this happening with the PUA persona are about a million to one. Show a little vulnerability and show your "softer side." Make the girl feel as though she's getting to you and you'll progress along in the relationship alot faster then you could have ever imagined. Now she has no reason NOT to date you. You're attractive, smooth, popular and you can have any woman you want - but you choose her.

Cheers.
- Syncmaster
 

Marlimus

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This is true wisdom that I can actually use right now. Also, it is good to hear from an old-timer.

Respectfully,
Marlimus
 

Walking Anomaly

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Something Im not so sure about is this...a little quirk of mine...

It has been from past experience (in some situations) that once you show your "soft side,"...the woman will attempt to step all over you.

Don't let her mistake your kindness for weakness...
 

flippinfreak

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Do a search on the word Approachable if you want a few more views on this piece of knowledge.

Alright, I really need some coaching in this concept. I used to be excellent at being a 'vulnerable' guy when I wanted to. Just a natural combination of mindset was what it was, now that I've gotten stronger I can't simply fall back into the old 'natural' mindset.

Weakness is when you use your kindness to let your kindness help other people hurt you. Or When you let kindness get in the way of protecting yourself.

Walking, I've moved on a little bit. Can you recognize when a girl begins to step all over you? If you can, use that to your advantage... for you it's not the case of not being the right kind of kind, it's acting with the wrong pretense. When she beginsto take advantage of you, but she can't walk away scott free just yet, you speed things up, but KNOW that you aren't going to just give her what she wants. Just lead her on, fake smiles, fake laughs, fake surprise, fake anger... than just let it slip SOOOO bad that she KNOWS you are lying, when you see her eyes tell you what she just learned, smile sly, and do your thing...

My problem is, I can't fall into the groove anymore, I don't recognize when I will literally turn a girl off by opening myself up. I'm just... well... I'm a good liar... your examples are well... easy:)
 

Walking Anomaly

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flippinfreak said:
My problem is, I can't fall into the groove anymore, I don't recognize when I will literally turn a girl off by opening myself up. I'm just... well... I'm a good liar... your examples are well... easy:)
I have this same situation going on for me flippin...I have to find a good balance between being strong and sometimes letting something you might call "sensitive" slip...I'm able to make up things on the spot very well...

flippinfreak said:
When she begins to take advantage of you, but she can't walk away scott free just yet, you speed things up, but KNOW that you aren't going to just give her what she wants. Just lead her on, fake smiles, fake laughs, fake surprise, fake anger... than just let it slip SOOOO bad that she KNOWS you are lying, when you see her eyes tell you what she just learned, smile sly, and do your thing...
I like what you're saying here...elaborate though...like could i get a "for instance" ?

but the fake anger, laughs, surprise...won't be too hard for me hehe
And when you say let it slip, you mean something "sensitive"? ~ trying to clarify

~WA
 

TillTheEndOfTime

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syncmaster said:
Hey All;
I came across this by accident not too long ago in an attempt to start an LTR. I was chatting w/ this girl on the phone & on webcam and she made me blush. I can't remember exactly what she said but that wasn't the point. I was showing my "vulnerable" side. She LOVED it. She kept telling me afterwards that she thought I was a really cool guy and that it's really nice to meet someone who isn't all macho.

Alpha male-ism works extremley well to attract a girl, but you do have to put down your guard sometimes. This is similar to a grounding routine, but non-verbal.

I crashed lately (pua rollercoaster) and it was brought to my attention by a few female friends that I have the personality and the "aura" of a player. This has been extremley counter productive. I was even told by a girl I was dating that that had been her primary concern when going out with me. She didn't want to feel like "just another girl."

When I blushed I told her that it hardly ever happens (which is true). She was the one that got to me. She felt like she had the capability to bring out the softer side.S uddenly she no longer became "just another girl."

I went on a day 2 last night and it went extremley well. This girl was REALLY intelligent. I showed her a couple of magic tricks and she figured out both of them. She thought it was dorky and cute but even though the tricks failed, they had the same effect. I was just a normal guy under neath the cool alpha male exterior. We're going out again tomorrow.

Three days ago I was chatting to one of my friends pivots (the one who Orleans and I hung out w/ on St. Patty's) and we were talking about relationships. Personally, i'm tired of dating random girls and want something more commited. She said she felt the same way and the conversation just started flowing. I was "vulnerable" and no longer had that player mentality. We're going out on Sat.

Women find it extremley attractive that you have the option of almost any girl you want, but if you're looking to start something more serious then the odds of this happening with the PUA persona are about a million to one. Show a little vulnerability and show your "softer side." Make the girl feel as though she's getting to you and you'll progress along in the relationship alot faster then you could have ever imagined. Now she has no reason NOT to date you. You're attractive, smooth, popular and you can have any woman you want - but you choose her.

Cheers.
- Syncmaster
This only works when you first assert yourself in a position of power. Come off as an "alpha male" at first, then show a bit of vulnerability only to her. This lets her know that sure you are an alpha male, but you also have a soft spot and are down to earth. You become less threatening and this makes her much more comfortable around you.

However, NEVER, EVER, do this the other way around. If you come off as vulnerable before alpha male, she will only pity you and attraction will be severely delayed or even put off completely. Girls rarely if ever, can be attracted to a guy they see as being in a weaker position than they are. They look to men as a boost, not as a drag! Remember that.
 

TillTheEndOfTime

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Walking Anomaly said:
Something Im not so sure about is this...a little quirk of mine...

It has been from past experience (in some situations) that once you show your "soft side,"...the woman will attempt to step all over you.

Don't let her mistake your kindness for weakness...
This is only because the guy in question did not create enough of an alpha male image at first. Imagine your friend has a dog that nearly tore apart a robber attempting to break into the house and you witnessed this. Then a few days later when you're at your friend's house the dog runs up to you and rolls over on its side for you to rub its belly. Sure you'll think "aww", but that incident of the dog mauling the robber will be in the back of your mind and the respect will always be there even when the dog is in a position of submissiveness....cause you know your ass could be next if you misbehave around the dog....same thing applies when you already created a strong alpha image with a woman. She knows that even though you're showing a soft spot, you still have the power.
 

Syren

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I like this post, its something I've failed on a few times. The girl liked me, but wouldn't open up so much. That glimmer of vulnerability gives them "hope" that you are deeper (which we are)
 

Desdinova

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In other words, show her that you're a human. Small things like this aren't going to lower her IL. Small bouts with your inner AFC also won't lower her IL. You show that you're only human when you show your imperfection.
 
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