Be the first to say "friends"

[mtlwlu]

David D mentioned that be the first to say "friends" let her know you are looking forward to making a friend if nothing else. This lets her know that you are not needy or desperate.

Is this a good idea or not, I think it would maybe affect her interest level a bit, she probably has tons of friends already, does she not want a man now?

 

[mrRuckus]

You appear as selective and as a challenge. They're used to showing up and being drooled over and knowing the guy wants them from the start.

Women like to make you want them. She'll have to work extra hard to make you view you as more than a friend. Plus their mind will be running in circles wondering why you said "friends." "what's wrong with me? why would he want more?" They have every other guy pegged knowing exactly what he wants from the start.

 

[Jitterbug]

It's a decent move as women are often the ones who say this first to give themselves a smooth way out. I got that test tonight on a first date.

I usually go one step further (especially after the woman brings that up) to communicate the idea that yes friendship is possible BUT I have standards for friends too. If the girl is a cool, interesting person with good character, yes I'll want to be friends with her although nothing further could be developed. If not, sorry no I already have enough friends. What would happen afterwards is the girl trying to qualify herself to me to show that she's cool & interesting.

 

[Jerky Boi]

I don't think I've read the article but it seems like a good idea though. Most girls anticipate that you want to be more than friends almost automatically, and rightly so, their shield comes up.

By saying the word "friend", it almost subconsciously makes the girl question things. She may say something like, "What? Why isn't he interested in me?" It's important not to get 'too' into the idea of her being friends with you however, because you may get what you ask for.

The important thing to consider when attempting this move is to use it like a neg. Like, "Hey, hey..don't get too close. We're just friends remember?"

 

[Bigdada]

You know, for me, it's always worked. it makes YOU in charge of where the relationship goes, and HER having to wait on YOU to move forward or not. nothing empowers you more than being the first to claim her as your friend, not the otherway around. let her do it first, and she has you in her grasp. dangerous, if you ask me.

I even like to talk about my standards, and say how "I'll like sex, but I won't have sex with just ANY girl...I want to find a girl who'll meet my expectations, as I have VERY high standards, that aren't easily satisfied by the common woman" and you do that, you'll make yourself the prize, and her want you, not vice versa.

trust me, 90% of my sexual conquests were done this way. all my gfs started out as girls I (repeat: me, myself) placed in the friendzone. I was never placed there, because I'd be the placer, not the placee. it drives them nuts and makes them want you more because you're seen as unattainable--it's great for getting girls to lust over you, as she'll probably tell her friends how much she wants you, and thus drive other girls to want you to. Everyone wins!

 

[mtlwlu]

brilliant sound advice guys. good stuff.

 

[Mr CIDH]

It is interesting David mentions this. I noticed lately I've been having a raise of interest in general from women who I DON'T want anything with. I do volunteer work and thats the only place where I don't want drama.. Yet some women there now show interest, while before that didn't happen.

I have a girl I'm friends with there for a while, since this forums stuff I talk about dating women a lot, and her interest level has changed. She pokes, asks why I never hit her up etc. Strange. It's a cool side effect since no game, trick or any were involved apparently a raise of self confidence, knowing I date other women and "lets just be friends" are enough for this one.

This thing is definately worth more testing.

 

[Lexington]

It's all part of the strategy of making it seem like she's the one that's hitting on you. Girls are used to being pursued. By telling her you want to be friends, you imply that she's the one chasing you.

 

[LDBaha]

I have to add this.

Say she'll make a good friend but be obvious (well not too much) that you are interested in more than just friends.
If she has a boyfriend and you are interested in her, be careful her, be more obvious but tell her she's going to make a good friend.

The thing is, if she has a BF or is in a relationship of some sorts and you say this, you might get ljfb'ed forever.
If she's not in a relationship and you say she might be a nice friend and you don't show her you like her. She will think "he's not interested" and back off

The idea is to chase without chasing
Not actually stop chasing

Maybe i'm stating the obvious but you never know

 

[Mr CIDH]

double post

 

[Luke Skywalker]

This contradicts other sorts of dating advice out there that says that you should let your intentions be clear right on the spot, and field reports from people like d-bot who use shock and awe style approach openers. From Maxtro's feedback it didn't work with him, and it also contradicts other stuff out there such as the "Ladder Theory", the "friend-zone", etc....

How would you reconcile this with all of the above?