Be realistic about NEXTing
- Thread starter DeepBlue
- Start date
First off, I would like to thank DeepBlue for posting some really thought-provoking topics as of late. These are the kinds of topics I would like to post if I had enough time to prepare.
As far as 'nexting', I think it is often misused by newbies. When they first learn some of these techniques, they get a little drunk on the power they provide. 'Nexting' is like a club wielded by some of these guys; they don't understand how to use it properly.
For a real DJ, 'nexting' is simply a weed-out tool. I know trickynick can 'next' a chick for the right reasons. No question.
I think Bonhomme said it best when he said: "Disrespect is a whole different matter entirely. If you can't set 'em right, then it's NEXT time!"
Gipper
------------------
"There's nothing wrong with letting the girls know you're money, and that you want to party.
-Trent, from "Swingers"
"Keep your girlfriend away from me,
Just advice I’m giving you for free,
Wanna have every thing I see,
So keep your girlfriend away from me..."
-Local H, from "Here Comes The Zoo"
As far as 'nexting', I think it is often misused by newbies. When they first learn some of these techniques, they get a little drunk on the power they provide. 'Nexting' is like a club wielded by some of these guys; they don't understand how to use it properly.
For a real DJ, 'nexting' is simply a weed-out tool. I know trickynick can 'next' a chick for the right reasons. No question.
I think Bonhomme said it best when he said: "Disrespect is a whole different matter entirely. If you can't set 'em right, then it's NEXT time!"
Gipper
------------------
"There's nothing wrong with letting the girls know you're money, and that you want to party.
-Trent, from "Swingers"
"Keep your girlfriend away from me,
Just advice I’m giving you for free,
Wanna have every thing I see,
So keep your girlfriend away from me..."
-Local H, from "Here Comes The Zoo"
T Dog
Master Don Juan
Gipper, Amlothi, and Trickynick understand what the NEXT-ing is all about.
Nevermore has a valid point as well. Deepblue you don't get it, yet.
Nexting is based on the belief that there is not just one girl that is right for you or "perfect" for you, but rather hundreds of girls that fit your basic criteria. You 'next' a girl to weed that hundred down to a few that you really want to spend time with and deserve to spend that time with you.
As you get confidence in yourself, you will see that not every girl is someone you want to have to "work for", or "work at the relationship" early on. It's seeing the incompatibilities with these women, knowing you can go find another at a drop of a hat, and nexting the girl, to find a better more compatible potential TLR.
I also see another interesting thing here and that is you think the DJ principles are all about getting laid. Again you miss the mark. The DJ principles are about bettering yourself in ALL aspects of your life. Not just with the ladies.
Once you newbies start comprehending what you are reading here you will see the big picture. So far you cannot see past your own AFC-ness. No offence meant. It’s just the truth.
T Dog
Nevermore has a valid point as well. Deepblue you don't get it, yet.
Nexting is based on the belief that there is not just one girl that is right for you or "perfect" for you, but rather hundreds of girls that fit your basic criteria. You 'next' a girl to weed that hundred down to a few that you really want to spend time with and deserve to spend that time with you.
As you get confidence in yourself, you will see that not every girl is someone you want to have to "work for", or "work at the relationship" early on. It's seeing the incompatibilities with these women, knowing you can go find another at a drop of a hat, and nexting the girl, to find a better more compatible potential TLR.
I also see another interesting thing here and that is you think the DJ principles are all about getting laid. Again you miss the mark. The DJ principles are about bettering yourself in ALL aspects of your life. Not just with the ladies.
Once you newbies start comprehending what you are reading here you will see the big picture. So far you cannot see past your own AFC-ness. No offence meant. It’s just the truth.
T Dog
VeryBadGirl
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Jan 15, 2002
- Messages
- 1,167
- Reaction score
- 3
I can see how someone might use the concept of next-ing to try and find the "perfect" girl/guy.
In reality, no one is perfect. Everyone has flaws. So, if you are looking for a flawless person, you are going to die alone.
LTR's do take work, although the more compatible you are and the more positive communication you have, that work is significantly lessened. But, LTR's often mean dealing with your SO's idiosyncrasies and actually loving those parts of them, even though they sometimes annoy you.
But, these are minor things that do not decrease the general happiness and satisfaction that you feel when you are with your partner. Disrespect, dishonesty, abuse and constant major issues that contribute to your unhappiness are a complete different story. Nexting is better for both parties involved in these situations.
Creating good judgement on when to "next" and when to try and work it out comes with maturity and self-realization of what the things are that contribute to your happiness and unhappiness in a relationship and acting on these formulations accordingly.
But, in the long run, it is best to air on the side of more next-ing rather than less.
[This message has been edited by VeryBadGirl (edited 03-26-2002).]
In reality, no one is perfect. Everyone has flaws. So, if you are looking for a flawless person, you are going to die alone.
LTR's do take work, although the more compatible you are and the more positive communication you have, that work is significantly lessened. But, LTR's often mean dealing with your SO's idiosyncrasies and actually loving those parts of them, even though they sometimes annoy you.
But, these are minor things that do not decrease the general happiness and satisfaction that you feel when you are with your partner. Disrespect, dishonesty, abuse and constant major issues that contribute to your unhappiness are a complete different story. Nexting is better for both parties involved in these situations.
Creating good judgement on when to "next" and when to try and work it out comes with maturity and self-realization of what the things are that contribute to your happiness and unhappiness in a relationship and acting on these formulations accordingly.
But, in the long run, it is best to air on the side of more next-ing rather than less.
[This message has been edited by VeryBadGirl (edited 03-26-2002).]
DB, I see your points and agree w/ some. You can give up to easy, b/c even if the girl is interested, she's gonna yest you.
But here is the truth. If she has high interest, and tests you, or tries to pull a power play on you, to gain control and make it seem your interest is higher than hers, and you go along w/ it, she loses some respect for you, which erodes interest.
But if she does that, or any other type of disrespect and you walk, she'll cut the shyt and realize she can't fukk w/ you= heightens interest. She'll pursue you, unless she is so insecure to the point where she is a 'princess' in her mind, and no guy deserves her, so she won't pursue. This type of girl would for sure NEXT YOU if you were in a relationship w/ her, b/c remember, nobody is good enough for her.
I know this to be true, happening to me now. A girl knew I'm interested, and I know she is interested, some BS went down and she told me we 'couldn't be a couple'. NO, I damn sue never asked for that, but she did it in the context of us being friends, after knowing all along I had interest. It was a power play on her part b/c she found I knew she was interested.
I told her no friendship, nada, she's history and out of my life. The very night I told her that, she was back pursuing me.
But here is the truth. If she has high interest, and tests you, or tries to pull a power play on you, to gain control and make it seem your interest is higher than hers, and you go along w/ it, she loses some respect for you, which erodes interest.
But if she does that, or any other type of disrespect and you walk, she'll cut the shyt and realize she can't fukk w/ you= heightens interest. She'll pursue you, unless she is so insecure to the point where she is a 'princess' in her mind, and no guy deserves her, so she won't pursue. This type of girl would for sure NEXT YOU if you were in a relationship w/ her, b/c remember, nobody is good enough for her.
I know this to be true, happening to me now. A girl knew I'm interested, and I know she is interested, some BS went down and she told me we 'couldn't be a couple'. NO, I damn sue never asked for that, but she did it in the context of us being friends, after knowing all along I had interest. It was a power play on her part b/c she found I knew she was interested.
I told her no friendship, nada, she's history and out of my life. The very night I told her that, she was back pursuing me.
The Real Deal
Don Juan
Next
------------------
- The sad lesson of life is that you treat a girl with respect, and the next guy comes along and he's banging the hell out of her.
------------------
- The sad lesson of life is that you treat a girl with respect, and the next guy comes along and he's banging the hell out of her.
Good point Gio. I'm with you here. For those of you who think NEXTing too much hinders an LTR, this is what you are missing. NEXTing can help your happiness in an LTR. You know you can NEXT her if you want to, you have the confidence to, you are not dependent on her. You will be happier in your LTR if you know you have this option and choose not to use it - or have no reason to use it.
Kapeesh?
------------------
"There are no such things as mixed signals when it comes to women, there is reality and what the guy wants to be reality." - Don Phenom
It doesn't matter how good-looking you are, how romantic you are, how funny you are... or anything else. If she doesn't have something INVESTED in you and the relationship, preferably quite a LOT invested, she'll dump you, without even the slightest hesitation, as soon as someone a little more "interesting" comes along.
Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.
T dog wrote:
Gipper, Amlothi, and Trickynick understand what the NEXT-ing is all about.
Nevermore has a valid point as well. Deepblue you don't get it, yet.
Nexting is based on the belief that there is not just one girl that is right for you or "perfect" for you, but rather hundreds of girls that fit your basic criteria. You 'next' a girl to weed that hundred down to a few that you really want to spend time with and deserve to spend that time with you.
As you get confidence in yourself, you will see that not every girl is someone you want to have to "work for", or "work at the relationship" early on. It's seeing the incompatibilities with these women, knowing you can go find another at a drop of a hat, and nexting the girl, to find a better more compatible potential TLR.
I also see another interesting thing here and that is you think the DJ principles are all about getting laid. Again you miss the mark. The DJ principles are about bettering yourself in ALL aspects of your life. Not just with the ladies.
Once you newbies start comprehending what you are reading here you will see the big picture. So far you cannot see past your own AFC-ness. No offence meant. It’s just the truth.
Thanks for the "lesson" T dog. Now read the new Intro I wrote for this post. It explains why my advice in this thread is for advanced DJ's and is admittedly not the right kind of advice for some people like yourself.
T Dog
Master Don Juan
Nice 180 degree turn on your position of Next!ing.
SoSuave.com
Administrator
To The Archive.
SexPDX
Master Don Juan
My god is that me?
Create self-fulfilling prophecies. Always assume the positive. Assume she likes you. Assume she wants to talk to you. Assume she wants to go out with you. When you think positive, positive things happen.
Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.
Mr. Mystery II
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 5, 2004
- Messages
- 214
- Reaction score
- 0
Bumping this so SexPDX doesn't piss his pants.
Mr. Mystery
Mr. Mystery
Delta Male
Don Juan
- Joined
- Mar 30, 2005
- Messages
- 92
- Reaction score
- 0
- Age
- 39
Hahahaha. Isn't it great to look back on our old posts?
-Dan