Be Non-Reactive

[animal crackers]

This is something that has been going through my mind. The game requires that YOU are higher value than the girl at all times. When she sees you as being weaker than her that's when you lose her. A very important part of the interaction is for you (the male) to be:

Non-Reactive

Meaning don't get drawn into her reality. Don't be so eager to jump on a conversational thread because she just told you she has an irish terrier...You are trying to get her into YOUR reality. Your reality has to be so strong that she will want to come in.

Mindset:
My world is where it's at baby, and I want you to come along for the ride.


Try it out next time your in field. I have been experimenting, and you get much more respect from the girls if you don't go into their stupid frames.

Some specific ideas of how this works for me:

-Disacknowledge some of their conversational threads as if you didn't even hear them.
-Make up your own threads at random and at least make it seem like you weren't even thinking about them. Actually, don't even think. Just talk because you feel like talking.
- Don't bite on the first positive thing she says to you.
ex.
HB "I like your shirt"
AFC "(big smile) REALLY? I like your shirt too. The colors look REALLY COOL....cough lame

HB "I like your shirt"
ACPUA " Thanks...Hey check that guy out (fat dude eating)...Oh man he needs to save some of that burger for me!!! I need to work on my keg... (rub my belly)



Just don't be so excited and jumping all over every thing the girl gives you to work with. Not being negative but girls are testing all the time unconsciously. If your all jumping on them acting really needy and needing validation from them they will blow you out.


Be cool players.
Be non-reactive.





animal crackers

 

[bbestar]

I don't know if this is right but.. Sometimes when I enter a store or retail establishment, If a hot girl greets me... I like completetly ignore her first statement like she never said anything...then go do my own thing like look around.

Then out of the blue I ask for her help to find something or her opinion.

Inserting key words into my converstation like

Hard
Hard to come by
Long
****y
Boring
Exciting
Fun
Bratty

 

[h2o]

i guess when you're relaxed this will come naturally. like, if you were jittery, or possibly a little nervous, or even if you put the girl on a "pedestal" you would be really exuberant to get a compliment from her. same example happened when i went out with my friend a week or so ago. the girl at the bar said "i really like you're shirt" ...and he was all surprised and was like "oh, wow, thanks" and smiley and stuff.

if you put yourself on a pedestal or perceive her as being lower than you, you see her compliment as trying to impress you. the afc sees it as him being accepted, or liked. wrong perspective.

but if you're just chill, like you said, you won't even think about it.

i guess after a while you get used to it too. like this morning, i was walking by some average-looking girl, and she turns her head checking me out, and drops her keys she was holding in her hand. you get used to stuff like that and compliments after a while so it doesn't faze you. the average afc rarely gets compliments.

 

[johnny_dangerously]

Take this w/a grain of salt b/c I'm a noob, but I'm having a *lot* more success now that I've realized (a) just b/c you're asked a question doesn't mean you have to answer it, and (b) you are not on a job interview.

Example 1:
Her: "So what do you do for a living? My last boyfriend was really into his job, which was good and bad."

Old Johnny: detailed explanation of profession + assurances that it will not interfere w/our relationship.

New Johnny: "Whoa there, take it easy! What I had in mind, for starters, was a cup of coffee."

You get the gist.

 

[Jariel]

I see what you mean about inviting her into your world, but doing what you said would mean you would never create rapport with her.

Also, charisma is generally the art of making people feel good about themselves and you do this by listening and showing interest in people. It is never a good idea to try to dominate conversation.

 

[rapsta]

Originally posted by Jariel
I see what you mean about inviting her into your world, but doing what you said would mean you would never create rapport with her.

Also, charisma is generally the art of making people feel good about themselves and you do this by listening and showing interest in people. It is never a good idea to try to dominate conversation.

now that's a great post

 

[animal crackers]

Jariel - You're right, and i need to be more specific. Being non-reactive is for the initial meeting, before she knows what a cool guy you are.

By not reacting to her in a positive or negative way, and just having your own superior reality, she will want to get rapport with you. This is when you be more real with her, and can actually have a normal conversation from both sides.

Also, charisma is generally the art of making people feel good about themselves and you do this by listening and showing interest in people. It is never a good idea to try to dominate conversation.

Alright man, this is correct in theory. But if you do a cold approach and then just start "listenening and showing interest" in her, most (not all) girls will not be attracted to her. While listening and showing interested makes people validated, it does not spark any attraction.

 

[animal crackers]

bbestar - Yes this is right, if you can pull it off. If a girl is working, you need to pull her out of the "i'm just being friendly because he's a customer/ I work here." frame.

Johnny - right on the money. There will be a time LATER when you both tell each other stuff like this.

h2o - yea, it has to do with you having more value than the girl. Act as if you are used to having girls say all this stuff to you. Also, that your reality is so strong you don't act....

What this comes down to something that I see so many guys do. They meet a girl, and she may/maynot be interested, but they are talking. And the guy jumps on any thread the girl gives him about her school/job/home. Then this initial conversation becomes ALL ABOUT HER. Then this guys is very POSITIVE about all the things the girl tells him, because he is trying to get him to like her. After the conversation she is validated that the guy really likes her, but she has no reason to be attracted to that guy because it was all about how amazing she was.

 

[bud_2005]

Originally posted by animal crackers


What this comes down to something that I see so many guys do. They meet a girl, and she may/maynot be interested, but they are talking. And the guy jumps on any thread the girl gives him about her school/job/home. Then this initial conversation becomes ALL ABOUT HER. Then this guys is very POSITIVE about all the things the girl tells him, because he is trying to get him to like her. After the conversation she is validated that the guy really likes her, but she has no reason to be attracted to that guy because it was all about how amazing she was.

I don't think I really agree with this. Because you are supposed to get her to talk about herself. Well thats what this site preaches anyways.

 

[bbestar]

The key is being indifferent


Like asking her what is her recommendation on the menu or her favorite movie or something..

Then what ever she says be... like Kinda suprised like you were goin to agree with her but then...

TAke the complete opposite of what she said and make it funny...LOL

 

[white cloud 8]

Okay, so let me give an example of one pf the above:

Girl: I like your shirt
Me: *look down at shirt, look back at her* thanks *with slight smile*

(two girls that i know from classes commented on the same shirt, and, I gave the same response)

Or when a girl said she liked my bracelet, I just said "Thanks"

Is this what non-reactive is sort of like?