be jealous or worry??

[astratakus]

well in order to know the story im going to give a description as shrot as possible...

ok here goes....ive been together with this girl for about 3 months, weve known each other for 4 years, ever sinse ive known her shes always been a tease and a flirt, to everyone and has been labeled as "tight" and a virgin. when we were just friends she confessed in confidense that shes been with one guy, so according to her im guy #2.we were like best friends then we stoped talking for a year so ive known nothing from her in a year and vice versa...

now she writes to me out of the blue and now were together, its cool but shes still a flirt and shes told me about guys trying to put moves on her. she always hangs out with guy friends and yet says to me she "loves" me and cant live without me, blah blah blah. shes been also known to be really sweet and always gets me gifts and she knows im in between jobs and slips money in my clothes when i dont know about it. what gets to me is that she still hangs out wih guy friends that always try moves on her and she drinks and sometimes she blacks out, she always tells me whos there when she hangs out without me and always tell me what happenes, or she says. i dont trust her guy friends at all, amd she knows this. she also knows i can get almost any girl i want(thanks to this board).
sometimes she seemes distant and when i ask whats wrong shell just say nothing, like one minute shes really affectionate and the next time i see her shes not at all. shes had depression problems at a time, i dont know if that can be the case. sometimes when her phone rings shell leave the room to answer it and sometimes she wont...

im just putting all the facts i can think of so far, i really need help. i like this girl alot and im just trying to make sense of this. to me shes either cheating on me or trying to make me jealous.....
should i be worried???

 

[jbbrain]

NO, you shoudlnt be worried!

Even id things are goign pretty damn bad with this relationship ( if i may say so myself) why put in all that jealousy and emotion that will drive both u and her crazy???

The key is....

Put things in Perspective.

Read that line again.

I know you say you like her, but are YOU GOING TO MARRY HER?

Imagine somthing for me.."What if she cheated on me with one of her guy friends?"

The ask yourself...what's the worst thing that can happen?

Sure, you might feel a little sad and emotional here and there bla bla bla. In the end, however, you should dump her and find somebody new. As you mentuioend before, you can get ANY girl in the world. Why should you EVER settle for less and compromise your SANITY in the process???

But, in order to do this, you MUST ASK YOURSELF if you have enough confidence and self respect to take the action you need to take. (And if the answer is no, your number 1 priority should be making sure you reach this level, it is the KEY)

If it's any advice at all. I would just dump the bird. Either that or get things straightened out with her right away. Tell her you don't like some things that she does and that you think she has a drinkling problem that is hurting the relationship. Tell her all this if you honestly think this relationship is actually worth saving..if not..

NEXT! Go out and have fun for God's sake and keep things in perspective! Life's too short to worry about such inconsequential things!

 

[NatureGuy]

I agree with JD: I wouldn't worry about
that. I'd be more concerned about
her drinking ( you said she blacked out, correct?).

 

[astratakus]

here are some other things that make me wonder, she got tickets to six flags and she recieved a phone call she knows i might not be able to make it so shes telling her friend"im taking one or the other". plus she has a guy friend who definetly likes her and i know hes just wating for me to slip so he can weasel his way to her but i cant prove it because hes been a "good friend" and he plays the buddy with me, he was brought up when she said the taking one or the other, and another thing is that she agreed to a bet that if she was to lose shell go on a date with the the person, so here are some more facts. plus she told me shell stop drinking and she tell me she got drunk at a party she went to the friday that just past. before i never worried about the plutonic friend waiting for the slip because i was the friend, now that im with her some other guy is playing the same game i did...

 

[StrivetoThrive]

dont be jealous

and

dont worry


if you think this chick is rockin other dudes- dump her

if she gets to drunk for you- dump her

if thats your gut feeling you gotta go with it, but i wouldnt spend time worrying and being jealous about it if thats whats in fact going on. From what you said it seems as though she will jump from guy to guy (as you were once the friend and now youre with her). She seems as though shes a typical broad, wishy washy, and what i mean by that is that she is like "oh, i guesssssss ill go out on a date with him if i lose" which will turn into "oh i guess ill do him" when she gets "blacked out" as she says.


Im not in the situation so you know more than i do, but hey just my two cents

 

[astratakus]

thanks alot guys this is really helping i usually have the worst luck when it comes to relationships hence it makes me pesimistic about this one, but if anyone else has something else for me keep em coming

 

[jbbrain]

PERSPECTIVE

 

[astratakus]

perspective????

 

[jbbrain]

you obviously didnt read my reply..

do you just thank people for putting in some time to reply to your thread without reading them???

read my 1st reply, im just reiterating what I mentioned earlier because I think its so important.

If you dont know what perspective means, look it up.

 

[Tkman]

You need to get less emotional attached to her (most important thing to do now) ... the way she acts is "fishy" !!! I would just turn her to my F'Buddy and keep her rolling me the "gifts", etc.

(I never get emotionally attached when it comes to girls)

 

[astratakus]

i try but theres too much history behind us, how can i start this without getting out of it in bad terms

 

[CLOONEY]

shes "exclusive" with you, but she is gonna go on a date with another guy if she looses the bet? Man, there is nothing worse than chumps all over your girl, but it happens, and it will probably happen with most girls you get with! You obviously arent secure in this relationship, and it will take A LOT to make it work, that is if it will even work in the long term, I would get out now and save your ego while you still can!

If you choose to "get out" you gotta do it, not just make a half azzed attempt! if you know what I mean............