Be Direct and break down the Fear Wall. The tales of a Regular Guy.

[Floydispink01]

I tried out online dating yesterday (tinder) and matched up with this girl. (7.5 looks) So I pinged her a message asking how she is and commented on a place she has visited in one of her pics. Quick chit chat back and forth and then I asked if she wants to meet for a drink this week.

She was taken back how direct I was and agreed. I told her to send me her number and I'll contact her with details.

She sent me her number immediately. I waited until this evening to send her a message but thought, fvck it I'll give her a call instead. She didn't answer so I sent her a greet message on whatsapp telling her to meet me in (place) at (time).

Again, she was surprised how forward I was but responded with enthusiasm and agreed to meet. She asked why I called her. 'Well, a phone's for ringing isn't it lady?'

She laughed and said I was very confident - she mentioned that no one has ever done that before. This girl is 30 years old and no one even contacts her by phone to set up a date anymore. How sad is that? Can you imagine how the younger generation will be like. Future dates will consist on Skype or something similar probably.

It is cool to have that 'not give a fvck' direct attitude - Greet, ask if she wants to meet for drink, If she agrees then get off the phone. That simple.......my interaction's with her have lasted all of 15 mins- no waffle. Just a man with a plan.....let's see if she shows up!

 

[AttackFormation]

I cant type in depth from a phone but keep in mind that being too direct can fvck things up. They like to play and dont want to take away the game.

Example, last weekend i met a new girl. I had to change it into going bowling after going over to her was too direct. After weve checked in at the place we find an unlit dinner room. It took a few minutes before she started sucking and wanted to go home and fvck instead.

Direct is good, but keep it within "the frame of the game"

 

[Floydispink01]

I cant type in depth from a phone but keep in mind that being too direct can fvck things up. They like to play and dont want to take away the game.

Yeah, good point. I have sprinkled in a little bit of play on her also. She told me she is nervous but is intrigued to meet me.

 

[Floydispink01]

Met up with the girl tonight. Took her to a local bar in my city. She lives about 20mins away from me so we both drove in.

The atmosphere was pretty chilled in the bar and I led us to a sofa in the corner of the room where no one was sitting in close proximity. She offered to buy the first drinks but I insisted.

She's a pretty girl, has a jovial attitude which comes across as cute and is not shy to touch. I was pretty much teasing her the entire evening which she was enjoying. We were playful with each other and she was touching my arm and hands on numerous occasions. Neither of us were drinking alcohol.

The date lasted 2 hours which I cut short when I told her i had to get up early for work. 'I'm that boring am I?' She said in a playful way. 'I didn't want to say anything....but yes!' She slapped me on the arm.

I told her that I will walk her too her car on the condition that she gives me a lift to mine. She accepted. 'Good girl, you've earn't yourself a gold badge!'

As we walked to her car she said she was cold, I held her hand briefly for about 2 seconds, agreed, then put them back in my pocket.

As we stopped at my car. We had a brief chat before I kiss closed her which again I cut short. I told her that it was fun tonight. 'Make sure you text me sir'. 'I'm not a good texter but I'll see what I can do! Goodnight'.

And that was that. Date cost me a whopping 5 bucks.

 

[f(x)]

I don't know if I'm getting better at OLD, but lately they've been giving me their number without me asking after about 3-4 messages. Had 1 date this week w/ drinks + kiss close, she just contacted me again a couple hours ago. Got another date w/ different woman lined up for Saturday. I read a lot of the DJ Bible over Christmas vacation and am also now super busy with more important personal projects, so I don't know if maybe that's somehow reflected in my text/interest. POF and Tinder seem to be the best, but I'm also going to try Howaboutwe's "tonight" feature as well some time soon.

 

[El Payaso]

This is a golden field report right here. The man has self control and restraint, as well as a good sense of humor. Your game's tight dude, keep it up.

I've been wondering where you went.

 

[f(x)]

Update: Checked my phone before going to bed, now have 2 dates to choose from Saturday night. I 5hit you not.
Takeaway: Read DJ Bible/Do you
Thanks sosuave, haha!

 

[EyeBRollin]

Update: Checked my phone before going to bed, now have 2 dates to choose from Saturday night. I 5hit you not.
Takeaway: Read DJ Bible/Do you
Thanks sosuave, haha!

Great to hear! Are you double booking for Saturday?

 

[pyros]

alright OP...

now let's see if this goes anywhere besides a first date.

 

[mr. kennedy]

I don't know if I'm getting better at OLD, but lately they've been giving me their number without me asking after about 3-4 messages. Had 1 date this week w/ drinks + kiss close, she just contacted me again a couple hours ago. Got another date w/ different woman lined up for Saturday. I read a lot of the DJ Bible over Christmas vacation and am also now super busy with more important personal projects, so I don't know if maybe that's somehow reflected in my text/interest. POF and Tinder seem to be the best, but I'm also going to try Howaboutwe's "tonight" feature as well some time soon.

This tells me you are dating chicks below your league. Are any of them HB8 and above?

 

[Floydispink01]

The next day after the date, nurse girl texted saying she had a great time. 'Me too, enjoy your day'.

I texted her today (3 days after the date) 'Hey Nurse Betty, hope your weekend is good. What days are you free this week? Let's play pool'

'You are useless at texting! (I'm not gonna respond to this cos I don't need to justify myself). Yeah, cool. I'm free Tuesday and Thursday'

Some general chit chat and tease about what she told me on the date. 'Ok see you at (venue) on Tuesday. If u win a game you get a prize'

'Ooww, what prize'
'Wait and see......that's if u win a game of course!'
'Haha, your so funny. Ok, see you then'.

In the meantime I have set up another date with a girl on Wednesday (following the same steps as the first girl)

I actually don't give a fvck if any of them flake. It's a nice attitude to have.

 

[Floydispink01]

Took Nurse out for date 2. Told her to pick me up from my house for 8pm.

'Yeah, I'll pick you up. Looking forward to it. 7.30pm yeah? (Nice try).

'Cool, pick me up at 8pm. I got a meeting with work. See you later'.

She picks me up and I take her to play some pool downtown at a bar. She was very flirty again, lots of touching. I let her win some games to keep with the jovial spirit as she was hardly a Mosconi Cup player - not that I'm a professional of course.

As the night progresses, I'm starting to think she quite likes me and me not shy of profanity pretty much didn't give a shlt what I was saying or doing. I would hit her playfully if she hit a good and bad shot, which was mostly bad and she was lapping it up. I wasn't acting Nonchalantly. I was being nonchalant - Big difference. She couldn't get enough of it. I could see she was feeling comfortable around me cause she would start singing out loud to the music in the background. 'Don't give up your day job love'.

There were a couple playing on the next table, who were obviously on a date, and he was acting very gentlemanly. I could see him in the corner of my eye watching as I was slapping her back. He was on his best behavior.

Multiple times she suggested doing something in the future. 'We should play bowling next time'. 'I'll cook you some of my favorite curry'.

Conversation flows very easy with her. Date lasted 2 hours and cost 12 bucks between the two of us. I'm not tight with money and am happy to splash out on a woman but it shows that you don't need to spend much to have a good time and have fun.

I close the date early and she drives me back and we kiss again. We both have work early so I end the kiss and wish her good night.

'Me and my friends have a bet to see if you text me tomorrow. I doubt you will'.

'Text me when you get home safe. I'll send you a surprise.'

 

[Serenity]

This is how good dates are supposed to go down. Very well described too. It was inspirational to read.

 

[f(x)]

This tells me you are dating chicks below your league. Are any of them HB8 and above?

1, def. below me. made out/heavy petting on second date. too cheap so I deleted #. Looks: on the short side of 6, I'd say
2, hard to say, she's funny/friendly and is a newsdirector at local tv station. Looks about 7, but she got big gazongas.

 

[f(x)]

What I learned about being direct is to get first kiss during date. They probably expect it by the end, so it kind of surprises them and I can escalate further at the date's end. My new rule is if they aren't laughing/ no sig kino during first date, I'll bail. What I've been doing is after they laugh at something, I'll pause, look them in the eye and ask if she's having a good time, if she answers positively, I go in 4 kiss. seems to work. I'm nowhere close to where I want to be as a DJ, but I'm definitely making progress.

 

[Floydispink01]

I have mentioned that I would like to take a break from my smartphone but this tinder app is addictive. It's basically giving me flashbacks to high school when life was simply my bedroom and Metal Gear Solid on the PS1 until I completed it. You know it's bad for you but you can't stop and you persist until you conquered.

'Floyd, come down from your bedroom. Your Nan and Gramp are here.'
'I'll be down in a minute (6hours).'

Anyways ive been applying my direct game on the tinder girls and I've been met with success and deletion - That's fine. It's a Weed out process after all. I've managed to secure two dates this week with two more tinderella's. But not before the TV production girl I'm meeting tonight.....

Same principles - Hi TV girl, how are you, meet for a drink? Simple - Her responses were quite bland and my attempted subtle backhanded teases at her to try and spark some life into the interaction didn't really work on her. She's heard them before. She agreed to meet but wouldn't give me her number. I told her the time and place. 'I'll be there.' I wasn't expecting much here.......and that's if she shows up at all!

I get to the venue roughly 5 mins earlier than the stated time and ordered myself a lager shandy and sat on a comfy L-shaped sofa close to the entrance. The place was dead.

She arrived at 8.30pm, a pretty girl whose a couple of years older than me, has a trim figure and more attractive in the face than the nurse but nowhere near as fun. It didn't help that the venue was completely empty so I couldn't even spark a conversation from some standard people watching. At least you can have a laugh at folk throwing shapes.

I ordered the date a soda water and lime. 'I had a rough night last night so I'm feeling hungover'. You could see her best days were behind her but still pretty enough. The tinder pics are definitely a few years earlier.

We chatted about our travels, career, family (zzzzzzzz) and our visits to Graceland. The whole chat seemed forced and business like. It wasn't much play going on here. Much like her sitting position - she was close enough for me to see her forced smiles but enough distance away for me not to touch.

Like in the tinder messages, I tried to create some spark by teasing her. This was met with indifference and some hints of laughter. This wasn't going good! There were half a dozen awkward silences. In my younger days I would of attempted a joke to break it. These days, I keep quiet until she says something.

Date lasted an hour and a half when I pulled the plug. I pulled the plug because she gave hints that she was done - she finished her drink before me and gave subtle glances at mine. (Finish the fvcking drink so I can get out of here) and the standard 'I'm feeling tired. I have to get up early'. So in essence, it was mutual. Not that I was complaining. I have a SS post to write!

We both got up. Left the venue. Hugged. Kissed her on the cheek and we parted. 'Thanks for the drink Floyd. Drive home safe.'

My conclusion with TV girl is that it's good to experience fun dates but I think it's necessary to experience dull dates too. Back in my chasing days I would play blind to this girls IOD's and I would simply try and persist. I've saved myself time and to persist with more fun girls.

Experience has taught me to move on, and play the next level as Solid Snake.

I've set up a meet with two girls on Wednesday and Thursday this week. Plus nurse has thrown out a feeler text also.

Keep on trucking fella's.

 

[SmooveMooves]

Really enjoying your posts. This is what I imagine SS could one day become. An entire board of Don Juans describing their successes & follies in the dating life, utilizing what we preach. One of the main reasons I'm still active here.

Good shít bro.

 

[Floydispink01]

So I arrange to meet one of the 'swipe right' friends for Wednesday evening for drinks in the city. I get her number from tinder and we send some nonsense chit chat. I get a text from her at 11.45pm Tuesday night as i'm about to hit the sack.

'Are you sure you want to meet me?? You know nothing about me or even asked me for that matter.'

I respond the next morning. The day of the date.
'Yes, of course. I don't do pen pals young lady. You u can tell me some cool stories about you in person. See you later'.
'Haha. Fair enough. Ok. See you later.'

I could of easily replied by asking whether she wanted to meet me or I could of began asking her idle questions about her life (which to be honest means nothing to me at this stage) so I tell her to meet and just assume she will be there. Im guessing she needs some reassurance that I'm not some average joe or whatever. I think my response signifies certainty. She responds favourably.

So 7.30pm. I throw on my black leather jacket, put on some black rebel motorcycle club in the car and drive to destination.

I arrive at the bar before her. I order a lager and sit in the corner of the room watching a singer songwriter playing acoustic guitar before the crowd. His songs are quite dreary but you gotta respect a creative fellow. I would say their are about 10-15 people at the venue.

I get a text from her at 8pm. 'I'm on my way. Just on the bus, won't be long'. She arrives 10 minutes later and I must be honest and I'm trying not to be shallow here but I'm disappointed - She doesn't look much like the girl in the photos.

We greet and she is very chirpy. I order her a white wine. She's wearing tight black jeans, grey jumper and a red scarf. I'm purposely trying to observe everything about her to remain present and it pays to take notice also. We sit next to each other and she is a very nice girl. We chat for over 3 hours. The conversation is very easy and free flowing. I make her laugh on many occasions. Time flies in her company.

Here's an obvious tip - if she mentions something personal when she was growing up or anything for that matter keep it in the back of your mind for future tease's.
For example 'My mum loves her music - David Bowie, Beatles even Enya. She use to make me dance to enya in the front living room. The Shame!'.

2 hours later the chat changes to drunken escapades and we exchange stories. ' I got thrown out a club for being drunk once.'
'Don't make me laugh madam. The bouncer probably saw you singing and dancing to enya!'

This shows you are being present, paying attention to her and confident with your sense of humour. You are basically exuding your positivity. Playing with her hair follows.

Throughout the date she is doing this with her hair and looking at me simultaneously. We share silences which I'm enjoying as I'm feeling confident and I look away. I notice she is staring at me. I'm definitely sure I am not in to this girl but I feel she is into me.

I cut the date short and tell her I have to get up early for work. A classic line!

She asks how I got to the venue. I tell her I drive. I can sense her angling for a lift home as she mentions her bus times . I don't bring it up. I kiss her on the cheek and tell her to get home safe. I should of given her a lift really. I'm feeling guilty for this. This lack of genuine interest on my part just seems to peak her curiosity and interest.

'Make sure you text me Mr'.

Nice girl but not for me. I will text her to be polite and honest.

I will persist with tinder as a side interest but I think it's time for me to get out into the battlefield.

 

[Floydispink01]

Matched with a sexy looking HB8. Ping her a message about her dress.

Playful conversation follows. Set up a date for Tuesday with her.

Ask for her number, she ignores my request and carries on with trivial rubbish.

‘Look madam, if I have to ask for your number twice I will take my banter elsewhere! Adios’

‘oh sorry, I’ve been busy blah blah here it is ******’

I’ve had two messages in a row of her by text (which i haven't responded to as im in work) highlighting that I must of taken my banter elsewhere so that original statement must of touched a nerve!’



Another girl gave me her number and I’ve asked her to meet me this Sunday.

She responds by saying trivial nonsense also. No mention of my date request.

My response – ‘You must be illiterate madam! I’m not going to ask you out twice.’

She agrees to the date and apologizes.


Directness and humour seems to work well in response to a little resistance. Plus It’s very amusing to me also

 

[Dgwizdal]

Moral of the story: fvcking go for it. If it don't work out - on to the next one.