Basics of becoming a Don Juan?

[Caesar-Zovel]

Hey guys, new member here.

Never thought I’d join something like this, but after clicking a link after a quick google search I was led to a thread in this forum here and I feel like I gained more insight in that one thread than I have on all the other sites I’ve visited combined. I was intrigued by the real practical advice I’ve read so far here, compared to the gimmicks and all this other self-help fluff out there.

I’ve decided to join this community to learn the foundation of what you guys have to offer by passing down your experiences and advice.

To get to my point; I’d like to learn the basic underlying ideas and basic knowledge of this website. I was in an on-and-off again 3-year relationship that ended about just over a year and a half ago, and before that I was a pretty shy teenager. I’ve had a few brief relationships since then and a couple of one-night stands as well, but I’ve never really been that “Don Juan” type of guy. Back in my early teen years I was insecure about my looks/personality but as time went by I’ve become quite content with how I turned out. I consider myself above average looking and keep active with the gym and eat healthy, I think that alone resulted in some of my flings with women. That being said, I never went out of my way to be that confident guy who goes out of his way to get the hot girl, but instead I just kind of accepted “you get what you get.”


I don’t want to bother reading through fluff and BS on the net, so as a new member, I’d just like some quick pointers from some of the members here of:
- Good articles and/or threads on here that you’d recommend to read first
- Any “should know” advice that would help me grow my confidence in all aspects in general (just explained in a short well-articulated sentence)
- I’m being a bit vague as I currently don’t have a specific goal, except I want to live life differently and start taking chances and going for the things I want, start doing the things that I used to be afraid of.

I apologize if that was a bit of a read but I felt this was the community that I’d feel comfortable reaching out to.

Thanks.

 

[BlueAlpha1]

Hey guys, new member here.

Never thought I’d join something like this, but after clicking a link after a quick google search I was led to a thread in this forum here and I feel like I gained more insight in that one thread than I have on all the other sites I’ve visited combined. I was intrigued by the real practical advice I’ve read so far here, compared to the gimmicks and all this other self-help fluff out there.

I’ve decided to join this community to learn the foundation of what you guys have to offer by passing down your experiences and advice.

To get to my point; I’d like to learn the basic underlying ideas and basic knowledge of this website. I was in an on-and-off again 3-year relationship that ended about just over a year and a half ago, and before that I was a pretty shy teenager. I’ve had a few brief relationships since then and a couple of one-night stands as well, but I’ve never really been that “Don Juan” type of guy. Back in my early teen years I was insecure about my looks/personality but as time went by I’ve become quite content with how I turned out. I consider myself above average looking and keep active with the gym and eat healthy, I think that alone resulted in some of my flings with women. That being said, I never went out of my way to be that confident guy who goes out of his way to get the hot girl, but instead I just kind of accepted “you get what you get.”


I don’t want to bother reading through fluff and BS on the net, so as a new member, I’d just like some quick pointers from some of the members here of:
- Good articles and/or threads on here that you’d recommend to read first
- Any “should know” advice that would help me grow my confidence in all aspects in general (just explained in a short well-articulated sentence)
- I’m being a bit vague as I currently don’t have a specific goal, except I want to live life differently and start taking chances and going for the things I want, start doing the things that I used to be afraid of.

I apologize if that was a bit of a read but I felt this was the community that I’d feel comfortable reaching out to.

Thanks.

Last year I got out of a 4 year relationship with a psychopath that brought me to the brink of insanity. Some of my friends stopped talking me, my family didn't know what to do. After the succubus left for the final time, I agonized again. Then things started to change. You lose your innocence when you become a red pill man. This permeates every fiber of your being. It's not restricted to relationships, you never look at jobs the same again. Your views on philosophy will change.

The positive feedback I've gotten from people are as follows:
- My brother has told me my nonchalance in the face of detractors inspires him. He says he's never met anyone who gives less of a **** now about any one woman (even though I'm gaming all the time) or anyone who disapproves of my choices. I now walk, talk, and sit differently than I used to. There's a twinge of arrogance there, and people notice. Girls especially.
Moral of the story: Don't give a ****, and flaunt it (but still treat others with respect)

- I have a LOT more in common with my friends, who used to be a clusterfvck of people. Now I surround myself with Alpha males who have a mission - mostly aspiring entrepreneurs.
Moral: Surround yourself with like-minded people. Miserable, unsuccessful people will deliberately drag you down

- Travel. This is a personal one for me. I've been to 21 American states and 15 countries and it has taught me more about self-reliance, history, and culture than I thought possible. I've also had pleasurable interactions with uber-feminine women from different corners of the world. In North America, it's hard to imagine these girls even exist.
Moral: Obliterate your comfort zone and see the world

Assuming you're not just talking about gaming more girls and want a more over-arching idea of what others consider masculine virtues, that's about the best I can give you. These things were confidence builders for me. You mentioned you never chased girls a lot. To get laid you'll have to, but with newfound confidence a few more will begin to come to you.

And make sure you enjoy what you do for a living. I've written about how a bad job can lead to divorce, disease, depression, and death.

 

[fafo]

Welcome!
I joined the community like you after a long relationship that broke me.
I remember how i started here with the book "Weapons of mass seduction" but it is kind of outdated read now.
For you I would recommend The Don Juan Bible because it is exactly what you are searching for - articles from the forum that are collected and compacted with the most knowledge.
Also "The Rational Male" book opened my eyes and shattered the view of the world as I knew it. I recommend it also!

My only problem now is that I don't know how to change the view towards me from my social circle as they still see me as the AFC that I was half a year ago.

Everything that you do, do it for yourself!!

 

[blind_one]

Hey guys, new member here.

Never thought I’d join something like this, but after clicking a link after a quick google search I was led to a thread in this forum here and I feel like I gained
more insight in that one thread than I have on all the other sites I’ve visited combined. I was intrigued by the real practical advice I’ve read so far here, compared to the gimmicks and all this other self-help fluff out there.

I’ve decided to join this community to learn the foundation of what you guys have to offer by passing down your experiences and advice.

To get to my point; I’d like to learn the basic underlying ideas and basic knowledge of this website. I was in an on-and-off again 3-year relationship that ended about just over a year and a half ago, and before that I was a pretty shy teenager. I’ve had a few brief relationships since then and a couple of one-night stands as well, but I’ve never really been that “Don Juan” type of guy. Back in my early teen years I was insecure about my looks/personality but as time went by I’ve become quite content with how I turned out. I consider myself above average looking and keep active with the gym and eat healthy, I think that alone resulted in some of my flings with women. That being said, I never went out of my way to be that confident guy who goes out of his way to get the hot girl, but instead I just kind of accepted “you get what you get.”


I don’t want to bother reading through fluff and BS on the net, so as a new member, I’d just like some quick pointers from some of the members here of:
- Good articles and/or threads on here that you’d recommend to read first
- Any “should know” advice that would help me grow my confidence in all aspects in general (just explained in a short well-articulated sentence)
- I’m being a bit vague as I currently don’t have a specific goal, except I want to live life differently and start taking chances and going for the things I want, start doing the things that I used to be afraid of.

I apologize if that was a bit of a read but I felt this was the community that I’d feel comfortable reaching out to.

Thanks.

Welcome !

You have come to the right place, and you seem to have an overall good state of mind to expand for whatever you want. Stick around and you will learn much. Get the feel for posters, situations etc.

There is this resource we refer to as the DJ Bible. http://www.mts.net/~bpony/djbible/ It contains numerours teaching, stories and discussions. Don Juan is a state of mind. At its core everyone sees it a bit differently.

A few broad strokes:

Don Juan is a confident manly man. It is a state of mind in which you let women into your world. If they decide to leave, he won't even blink as there are other women who would benefit or be happy to be in contact with him. Collected and calculating he keeps his emotions in check. By spinning plates , juggling multiple women, he keeps that emotional state of detachment while at the same time having multiple options. He would rather listen and ask interesting questions while remaining a mystery himself. Dealings of women are only a part of his life. His life is full in solitude, in which he is comfortable. His main goal are physical, spiritual and financial self improvement for he has only one life he wants to become the best/strongest version of himself.

I could go on and on but I am sure you get the idea.

Welcome to the boards

 

[parkthebus]

If you continue reading through posts as they come, the advice given will answer your question.

On a side note, this post made me think that people don't talk about self improvement so much here as you would think they might. The very action of making your life better in some way can make you feel better about yourself because you can respect yourself knowing that you've done what you can. For example, I'm currently unemployed and having a really tough time getting a job so some days I clean the **** out of everything just so I can sit down at the end of the day and feel I've done something good. Respecting yourself builds huge confidence.

Most people here will recommend two blogs, The Rational Male and Château Heartiste. Both are well worth a read. TRM can become tedious after a while so I would recommend the 'best of' links. Heartiste posts a lot about politics and race issues but his game posts are very good. Another one which I started reading recently after another member posted a link to it is The Masculine Principle (not possible to read on phone).

Welcome to the forum.

 

[Desdinova]

The DJ Bible is always the best place to start. The questions you've always had about women will be answered there. As you read, you'll literally feel as if you're coming out of a dark fog.

 

[CuddleJunkie]

TRM can become tedious after a while so I would recommend the 'best of' links.

what? if I were an archbishop of Manlianity I would send you to the bonfire haha

Hey OP. The Rational Male 'best of' blogposts is something you HAVE TO read, because they are the framework in wich we work. You need an understanding of Hypergamy and its changes through a woman's life (to understand this, The Rational Male: preventive medicine), gender differences, the importance of male performance, etc.If you could only have one knowledge source to living as a man your best option would be The Rational Male, you could later go to the field and test things within that framework and see what works and what does not. The blog is that important.

Now, you have to thank our old Don Juans, they tested things before us and can teach us what will get your d¡ck wet and what will make you open RedTube. As people has said, this shared knowledge is compiled in the DJBible.

So really, with The Rational Male and the DJBible you should be more than prepared.

 

[Tictac]

I don’t want to bother reading through fluff and BS on the net, so as a new member, I’d just like some quick pointers from some of the members here of:
- Good articles and/or threads on here that you’d recommend to read first
- Any “should know” advice that would help me grow my confidence in all aspects in general (just explained in a short well-articulated sentence)
- I’m being a bit vague as I currently don’t have a specific goal, except I want to live life differently and start taking chances and going for the things I want, start doing the things that I used to be afraid of.

Welcome here. But if you think this is about 'five bullet points' and you're done, don't waste your time or ours. If it was easy, you'd already be there, so would everyone else.

It's not like it's difficult. And there are ways of accelerating your knowledge. Do the work. It's actually fun.

 

[Caesar-Zovel]

Welcome here. But if you think this is about 'five bullet points' and you're done, don't waste your time or ours. If it was easy, you'd already be there, so would everyone else.

It's not like it's difficult. And there are ways of accelerating your knowledge. Do the work. It's actually fun.

Yeah Tictac, I gotcha. I understand it's a process. Like mastering anything, it takes hours and hours of practical repetition. I don't expect any quick fix. But I expect to start living my life differently and stop letting opportunities pass me by. What I was trying to accomplish by creating this thread is to sort out where I should look first, and what is useful for other members. I feel like I have a good starting point now thanks to the responses I've gotten already.

 

[Caesar-Zovel]

^^^^Starts with this ^^^^

"I am a DJ; always have been and I always will be."

You won't hear me utter those words again.

 

[fastlife]

Hey Caesar-Zovel, welcome. I'll echo other's sentiments to read 'The Rational Male'--by far the most circumspect and realistic guide to understanding female behavior. However, I'd throw in the 'Book of Pook' (which you can read for free here: https://bookofpook.neocities.org/).

'The Rational Male' is more of a sobering eye-opening experience and can be a little bit ugly (or really liberating) depending on how much experience you have with women. 'The Book of Pook' is more inspiring and optimistic and has some good starting points for practical application.

But really, at its best level, SoSuave.net is a collection of like-minded men who are all attempting to live life on our terms--and to have options, in life, in work, with women. It's a place you can come to for tough love, advice, and empathy--in a world where a lot of guys don't have places to turn for any of that in any real productive sense. There's also plenty of bitterness and try-hardness, which is what it is; obviously you can take what works for you and you should--no point in replacing one set of someone else's beliefs with another's. At its purest level, the DJ mindset is one you have to create for yourself, incorporating the best aspects of 'who you've always been' with the person you've always wanted to be.