bars and clubs, are you over it?

[speakeasy]

I face the dilemma that a lot of people get to when they hit 30 or so. I am single, so I have to get out there and meet women somehow, yet I feel like at age 31, I am sort of over the bar/club/meatmarket thing. Not that I can't still go to one if I have to, but my interest in going out clubbing is about half of what it was when I was 25.

Do you older guys feel the same way?

 

[Victory Unlimited]

Yo Speakeasy,


YES.

I have been "over" the whole bar/club thing for almost 10 years or so now. I RARELY go there-----and I especially don't go there for the purpose of meeting women. And that's NOT a decision that necessarily comes from any moral decision, because I know that many of the women you see in the club you'll see at "church" the next morning too. lol

No, for me it's just a "been there, done that TOO DEATH" kind of thing.

99% of all my women have come from COLD APPROACHES. Why? Because the SAME women you'd meet in clubs and bars are ALSO out walking around the city during the daytime. DUH...

So, in my brick and mortar colored camouflaged gear, I stalk them daily as I go about MY OWN business out here in the "asphalt jungle". I target them in the bank lines, the grocery stores, walking out of office buildings, in the self-help aisle at Bookstores, etc.

And the beauty of cold approaching women in THESE types of places instead of bars and clubs is this:

You get many of the SAME women you'd meet at the nighttime "meet markets", but WITHOUT the super-reinforced bytch shields, WITHOUT the entourage of her cocckblocking friends, WITHOUT her wearing her "I know you wanna fukk be but you better not touch me" outfit, and WITHOUT having to wade through that crowd of other guys ALL trying to pick her up at the same time YOU are...

The above examples are just ROUTINE observations of what I've personally notice after YEARS of attempting to pick up women at nightclubs and bars.

To put it plainly, for ME at least, the club and bar scene seems to be more an environment where your prey (women) are usually more prepared to resist your advances.

But when they're out and about in the daytime, YOU have the upperhand. She is usually NOT as well prepared to defend herself from your full-frontal, cold approach attack. lol

I've found that MANY women are too distracted by REAL life to immediately adapt to that FAKE-ASSED bytch role that so many of them love to play when they're out at night wearing their war paint (heavy makeup) and suits of armor (you-can-look-but-don't-think-I'll-actually-let-you-fukk me dresses).


After all, all hunters know that prey is always easier to get when they are distracted or OFF GUARD.



March on.

 

[afc_2_dj]

I must say I agree, lately I just have not felt like going clubbing, I feel more that I should go to try to get some social exposure, but just don't feel like crowds of students, coming home at 5am and wasting half my weekend sleeping when I could be out doing something useful like sailing! I still enjoy the music, and checking out all the hotties, etc, but still just can't seem to get enthusiastic about it!

 

[squirrels]

I must say I agree, lately I just have not felt like going clubbing, I feel more that I should go to try to get some social exposure, but just don't feel like crowds of students, coming home at 5am and wasting half my weekend sleeping when I could be out doing something useful like sailing! I still enjoy the music, and checking out all the hotties, etc, but still just can't seem to get enthusiastic about it!

That's kind of how I feel lately. I just can't get enthusiastic about going out somewhere and just drinking. Especially when I wake up the next morning pretty much worthless from the hang-over.

It used to be that alcohol helped loosen me up and make me more talkative. Now it seems like by the time I start to reach that point, I'm already sloppy drunk.

Because I'm not enthusiastic about being "out partying," it shows in the way I behave, and that's something of a turn-off to the girls around me. I'm not having fun.

Plus, like VU said, bars and clubs just don't feel the same as far as their pickup potential. Before it was like people were out there TO meet new people. Now it's like girls especially have it in their heads that meeting dudes at clubs is "nasty" or "dirty" and they tend to stick close to their friends and only talk to guys as amusement.

It makes things kinda tough for someone like me, because most of my "hobbies" are guy-stuff and I don't really meet a whole lot of women anywhere EXCEPT at bars and clubs. I used to actually get a LOT of hits on MySpace, but it seems like that has even died off lately. The same kind of thing is happening THERE as in clubs, where now EVERYONE's on there and women can't hook up discreetly any more.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

I still go to clubs (never really got into the bar thing). But I've never went for the sole purpose of sarging. I enjoy dancing and just interacting with people and clubs are great for that. And it doesn't hurt if you do end up making a connection with someone and end up hanging out again.

 

[speakeasy]

Squirrels, I've also found that I can't drink much anymore. I haven't been drunk in a long time. If I drink more than a few drinks, I start feeling sick in the stomach and have to stop. I might get a little buzz, but that's about it.

 

[Analytic]

I just got back from the club and I hear what you old timers are saying and am not even 30 yet. Seriously... once your mind matures you will realize clubs is such a huge waste of time but hey if you like wading through the crow of guys and yelling into girls ears then I guess club is alright. Like victory unlimited said, day game is better and I agree.

Don't forget the hang overs and a complete mess up of your sleep schedual, if you workout its even worse. I will continue to go with friends and just have fun without any expectation in mind.

 

[DoubleA]

Don't totally rule out clubs and bars.

I found out out the now that I'm older all the younger women waht to hang around because they see me as more established than the younger competition. That's cool with me.

Do I hit the same club every weekend. NO. Hit places where the crowd is your style.

Also, I play Xbox live sometimes so it's all good when I don't wanna go out.

Just keep your options open..you never know..you might go some place one night being aloof and score one on the board.

Get up.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Don't totally rule out clubs and bars.

I found out out the now that I'm older all the younger women waht to hang around because they see me as more established than the younger competition. That's cool with me. ...

Seems like to them you readily stand out from the rest, right? A bit more together.

 

[edger]

I still go to clubs (never really got into the bar thing).

Yeah I never got into the bar thing either. Only drawback to clubs, is as someone already stated, it's hard to hear, and also the poor lighting a lot of times. Half of these clubs I go to I can't even make out who I'm looking at half the time. The poor lighting also makes it hard to tell if a chic is vibing ya. And also the women tend to be distracted by the dancefloor thus not observing their surroundings(men). I definitely love the atmosphere of clubs. What ever happened to clubs that play good techno? For the life of me, I cannot find a club that plays good techno the way it used to be in the 80's and 90's. Aside from frequenting the Metal/Goth clubs/bars, I also enjoy clubs which play good techno. European techno in particular is an all time favorite of mine.

 

[Bonhomme]

Hell no! I still love to check out good shows, spend an evening dancing, and what not. When I don't want to hit the club to check out an interesting new band it will be time to get out the shovel and put my body in the ground...

 

[STR8UP]

Nothing wrong with wanting a change in your life from time to time, but don't fall into that trap that a lot of people do where you start to feel that once you hit a certain age you should be morphing into a different person.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Nothing wrong with wanting a change in your life from time to time, but don't fall into that trap that a lot of people do where you start to feel that once you hit a certain age you should be morphing into a different person.

Well change is good; when it's natural. Age limits (or restrictions as most people use them) aren't engraved in stone. Why would you change just because it's the expected norm? If you want to change, then change; because you want to.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Yeah I never got into the bar thing either. Only drawback to clubs, is as someone already stated, it's hard to hear, and also the poor lighting a lot of times.

Perfect enough excuse to move the activity to another venue.

Half of these clubs I go to I can't even make out who I'm looking at half the time. The poor lighting also makes it hard to tell if a chic is vibing ya.

Behold the power of KINO! At least when it's reciprocated.

And also the women tend to be distracted by the dancefloor thus not observing their surroundings(men).

When hunting, go where the game is!

I definitely love the atmosphere of clubs. What ever happened to clubs that play good techno? For the life of me, I cannot find a club that plays good techno the way it used to be in the 80's and 90's.

I hear 'ya but unless you frequent clubs that are considered "underground," don't expect to hear old versions of KMFDM songs from the DJs. However, you should still be able to find clubs that play "trip-hop" or "trance" music still. They may not be the most popular clubs because those are geared toward top-40 music.

BTW, I've noticed those are the clubs where people do the most standing around. That's why I still hit the trance and Salsa clubs, way more activity on the dancefloor.

 

[STR8UP]

Well change is good; when it's natural. Age limits (or restrictions as most people use them) aren't engraved in stone. Why would you change just because it's the expected norm? If you want to change, then change; because you want to.

I just see too many guys who think that when they hit 30 that they have to make drastic changes to their lives to be able to fit into whatever mold they feel society has cast for them/

I'm 35 and I still do the same things I did when I was 25. I still dress the same as a 25 year old might dress. I even hang out with younger people and have no problem relating to them as long as they possess a fair level of maturity. Why do we feel we HAVE to change?

 

[synergy1]

It seems I am slowly slipping away from the bar scene. It is not beneficial to ones health, the next day is harder to cope with when you have had alcohol. The ironic thing about bars is people go out to be anti-social for the most part. I have done cold approaches, and found people to be very defensive, and curious as to why anyone would talk to them. Going out involves sifting through a a horde of decent looking women, with all the good prospects surrounded by a load of guys. My mastery of the game is not yet at the level to combat 20 alpha male wanna-be's at a bar.

I see more hot girls the 1 hour a week I go to the store. I see more hot girls walking the streets, more hot girls at the gym , more hot girls in line at a book store...you name it. Victory unlimited pretty much has this point correct. Nothing like seeing a hot girl respond to you when she clearly doesn't have her ***** shield activated.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

... Why do we feel we HAVE to change?

To fit in with our peers... Mostly AFC's unfortunately... :nervous:

"Live for yourself, there's no one else more worth living for... Begging hands and bleeding hearts will only cry out for more..."

--Neil Peart, RUSH --- From the song "Anthem," -- written in regards to the novel of the same name written by Ayn Rand.

 

[mrRuckus]

I'm 35 and I still do the same things I did when I was 25. I still dress the same as a 25 year old might dress. I even hang out with younger people and have no problem relating to them as long as they possess a fair level of maturity. Why do we feel we HAVE to change?

I'm 27 and a bunch of the guys I hang out with are 30+. Mostly around 35. Several are over 40. We're different but when it comes to playing some ball or drinking some beers we're all the same. They talk sh1t on me for being young, i call them things like Father Time. We point out hot girls. It's fine. No one expects anyone to act their age whatever that means

 

[edger]

That's why I still hit the trance and Salsa clubs, way more activity on the dancefloor.

The Salsa clubs, I have to hit one of those soon, maybe this weekend as a matter of fact. Never been to one, but I can imagine the amount of hot chix crawling in those places. :yes: I have an agenda.

 

[edger]

I just see too many guys who think that when they hit 30 that they have to make drastic changes to their lives to be able to fit into whatever mold they feel society has cast for them

I know, pathetic, right? But I do think it might be changing and people for once are actually beginning to use their heads.