Bar scene is not a single's spot anymore

[GreatHornedOwl]

It is a personal playground for friends of the staff, off-duty bartenders and AW's gossiping about the new boy toys in their life. In the last two or so years, I've been amazed at how many couples walk in these places, so much to the point it almost feels awkward being there.

This being a wide demographic we're speaking of, not just a few select places. Sure, you get the regular meat market crowd, but even that has taken a backseat to these intruding social circles that is being established in these venues. You almost get the vibe you're at a house party, only you don't have an invitation.

Don't even get me started on clubs. I went to one on my 21st birthday, and that was the last time. Bottle popper wannabees, guys walking around wearing the same Polo shirts, just different colors, hottest girl in there being a hired gun etc. So fake and see-through. Women stick together in such tight groups and brush you off like a bad habit when trying to approach.

It's a good thing I'm comfortable with day game cold approaching, because that's going to be the wave of the future for single guys. There is no anonymity in the light life anymore. Women meet up with their friend's before they even go to the bar and post it on their Facebook where they're going so all their little guy friends will follow them like a shadow. It's nothing but an attempt at control.

It's old. It's so old.

 

[Burroughs]

The rules are different if you are high status but you are quite right

In the last five years socializing has gone into overdrive....with the *price of puzzy* being inflated to astronomical degree

...the prevalence of fakebook and the inherent snooping has made every 18year old girl as self conscious as lara flynn boyle at her first jack nicholson gangbang....and thus ever 18 year old boy is sucked into the fear vortex of the girl's around them...they go out in packs.

meaning....

quality hot girls are all snapped up by the time they are 18....if you want them you will need to be in their social circle and steal them away....or else wait till they are 32-33 when they have grown sick of their circle and their cvm dumpsterish ways....

 

[Packers2010]

it's true what you way op.

there's this one club n my city that is so bad!

when you get into the club, it feels like 30 socials circles all talking within themselves.Hardly ANY one goes out of there way to talk to anyone. I've been there about 5 times now and NO ONE hooks up. if they do you can just TELL they are bf and gf.

 

[evansblue]

There's no question about it, the bar scene has run it's course. Social networking came along and pretty much destroyed it for guys looking for a quick lay. A key point you mentioned (which I agree with) is that the anonymity is no longer present. There's such a strong friendship dynamic that it's impossible to get any kind of separation. Any kind of game you throw is going to be in front of an audience. That was never my cup of tea, and isn't going to yield very good results.

The OP is right - there's an upside to all this and that's day gaming. If there is ever a time to start, it's now. Hardly any guys are getting any traction in the bars/clubs, and almost no guys outside the pickup community have the guts to approach during the day. It's still relatively "underground" and you should strike while the iron is hot. In 10-12 years I believe it's going to be the new "in" thing to do, and by then it'll be too late. Guys who aren't doing it now are going to be kicking themselves in the future.

 

[Down Low]

The 20-something club scene is just a stepping stone to the full-blown adult bar scene. People over 30 are supposed to be sick to death of drinking and clubbing, and are supposed to have spouses and children. We all know it actually works the other way. Young people who get sucked into the bar scene in college . . . go on to the full-on depravity of wife-swapping bars, cheating "singles" bars, fag pairs vamping for male or female subs for ONS, going solo for old skanks/hookers across the street from the strip joint. "Networking" largely consists of midweek after-work meet-ups at the usual circuit of watering holes and motel bars, and then get a quickie before "returning from working late and stopping off for just one drink with the boss." The way it actually works out, individuals in a network take turns fvcking each other's current and former partners. It's getting pretty common to use Fvckbook event scheduling to shove their hookup advertisements to as many potential recruits (to their beds) as possible.

Networkers think of themselves as being cosmopolitan, independent, and tough. In reality, they're insular, cliquish, and in complete denial. Devoting yourself to your kids is better. Burying yourself in a hobby is better. Flipping channels with a six pack is better. Anything is better than the [NOT] grown-up bar scene.

 

[betheman]

I see a lot of this also, one you would go out, there would be lots of guys, lots of women, separate groups, not they are predominantly mixed. it appears to me that men are being herded, farmed, women control the scene

 

[Mike32ct]

Yes. I even see women outnumber men (early on) some nights at the bar. But they are in their groups and stay in their groups so it is useless.

It doesn't make it any easier.

It's good for the bar/club owner because it LOOKS like a paradise to a guy who doesn't know better lol. Of course the owners or management ENCOURAGES this social circle isolation by shrinking the "public" social and dancing areas and increasing the "table/bottle service" areas.

 

[Darth]

I think if you have charisma, bars work the way they always have- girls come like moths to a flame. If she's in a group, she will find a reason to detach.

However, there is a major difference in intention. It's absolutely right that most people don't go to bars alone anymore to meet a guy or a girl. They go in their "girl groups", all armed with cell phones and taking cliched pictures of each other- just girls, no guys. Then you get the guys on their Facebook page the next morning ("Lookin good, babe )

Gosh it's enough to make a man sick

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

Guys I have been echoing this sentiment time and time again.

The bar scene is dead.

The club scene is dead.

Every

Single

Social

Venue

Is 90% social circles talking amongst themselves, taking FB pictures and pretending the rest of the world doesn't exist.

Yes there are special exceptions in a certain cities/places that have maintained a bit of a hookup culture, but in general the hookup culture is dead.

And the internet killed it.

I said this piece before too. You need to hook into social media and expand your social circle. Going out cold turkey alone in a club or bar is TERRIBLY INEFFICIENT and typically BORING because like the OP said, you are an INTRUDER at a house party. Nobody invited you and nobody wants you there.

A very apt description of the typical bar/club scene GreatHornedOwl.

Props for an astute observation.


Time and time again (till the end of time), the above is not true if you're hot. Then girls will rip the arms from their orbiters at the club/bar and find an excuse to talk to you or make it easy for you to hit her up.

 

[yyc12]

Well there's always the meetup.com culture on the rise. There are clubbing groups you can join to put yourself in one of those "social circles" you see out without having the feeling of "intruding" into the house party/venue.

 

[PlayHer Man]

Guys I have been echoing this sentiment time and time again.

The bar scene is dead.

The club scene is dead.

Every

Single

Social

Venue

Is 90% social circles talking amongst themselves, taking FB pictures and pretending the rest of the world doesn't exist.

Yes there are special exceptions in a certain cities/places that have maintained a bit of a hookup culture, but in general the hookup culture is dead.

And the internet killed it.

I said this piece before too. You need to hook into social media and expand your social circle. Going out cold turkey alone in a club or bar is TERRIBLY INEFFICIENT and typically BORING because like the OP said, you are an INTRUDER at a house party. Nobody invited you and nobody wants you there.

A very apt description of the typical bar/club scene GreatHornedOwl.

Props for an astute observation.


Time and time again (till the end of time), the above is not true if you're hot. Then girls will rip the arms from their orbiters at the club/bar and find an excuse to talk to you or make it easy for you to hit her up.

Unfortunately this is the direction things are going in. I'm glad you brought up the Internet because its a BIG part of the problem. Its simply easier to talk to people from your computer than to get off your ass and meet people in person.

Since all a cute girls has to do today to meet men is post a pic on a dating site.. why does she need to go out in person to find a hot guy to bang? She can just post her pic on POF and cherry pick the best looking guy to f*ck. Its like ordering a pizza online.

Every time there is a cultural shift its always in favor of women. It started with feminism and continued with sexist laws. Every time women whine that their life is "too hard" some white knight faggot finds a way to give women more power.

As men we just have to keep adapting and getting smarter. Just like "game" and casual sex helped to level the playing field after feminism.. we men must continue finding ways to use cultural shifts to our advantage.

The Internet trend favors women heavily because of the transparency the Internet creates. It allows women to size you up, judge you and evaluate you without even having a conversation with you. She can look at your POF profile or your Facebook profile and make a decision without ever talking to you.

The Internet is creating a big-brother state of increased transparency where everything you do in life is pubic knowledge forever. Privacy is getting harder and harder to come by. Some jobs REQUIRE having a Facebook profile. Just think about how much that forces conformity. Post the wrong pic or say the wrong thing and you get attacked by everyone you know who doesn't agree with you and maybe even lose your job. This situation didn't exist 10 years ago.

Transparency allows women to identify the alpha's with laser precision and ignore all the "losers". Also, by decreasing privacy.. it makes women even more judgmental about who they hook-up with since its so easy to be photographed with that person via smartphone.

Being mysterious gives a man a lot of power and sex appeal. The Internet makes it increasingly difficult to be mysterious. In the near future a woman will require seeing your Facebook profile before giving out her phone number. Mark my words.

 

[Burroughs]

Transparency allows women to identify the alpha's with laser precision and ignore all the "losers". Also, by decreasing privacy.. it makes women even more judgmental about who they hook-up with since its so easy to be photographed with that person via smartphone.

Transparency is an essential factor in the slave state..elevating women over men has shackled men to the consumer culture their entire lives...houses, mortgages, fancy kitchens, mini vans, 2nd mortgages, 50K weddings...none of these things exist to give banks profit if men are not the lapdogs of women

again.

....houses, mortgages, fancy kitchens, mini vans, 2nd mortgages, 50K weddings...none of these things exist to give banks profit if men are not the lapdogs of women

men enslaved to women create the *consumer culture* an essential element if the sham of fiat currency is to continue.

women are the drug of men....

men do not comprehend this

but the elite do....very well...and they use it to their advantage

 

[Demonpenz]

My experience the bar/club scene is a great way to TALK LOUD. It is a great way to get to know REJECTION. Not be PHASED BY REJECTION. It is a good way to be able to change your state of mind by dancing, by joking, by doing whatever. It is a great way to learn how to GRIND AND HUSTLE. THE GRUSTLE as players call it. It is not a singles spot, but it sure gives you a chance to get familiar with yourself I know how easily I wuss out. I get to know my inner wuss and say. NO WAY NOT TODAY. ONE MORE GIRL, ONE MORE APPROACH, ONE MORE..PUSH PUSH PUSH PUSH GROW. Then when I get out where I can talk. I speak slower, louder, and I can handle myself better.

 

[quagland]

Is 90% social circles talking amongst themselves, taking FB pictures and pretending the rest of the world doesn't exist.

Amen to that. My soon to be ex wife started pursing other interests, including new social circles, pretending that the real world - me, didn't exist. I couldn't take it anymore and left her a little over a month ago. She's all about her Facebook persona and her twitter followers. Effing pathetic. Social media can eat my a$$.

 

[synergy1]

The bar/club scene has seemed less fruitful lately, at least where I live. I attribute this more to my location as people here are primarily social circle oriented, and less open to approaches. Of all my friends, it is only myself and one other who will actively talk to people they don't know. Everyone else stays in their circle, and chats on their phones. Socializing is merely the act of going someplace that isn't home and nothing more.

Day game depends where you live. Around here, people will start to know. For example, people here already classify me as a "womenizer" just because I talk to a lot of women. Its actually a detriment where I live. I can see DG being better in much larger areas.

 

[Packers2010]

[/B]In the near future a woman will require seeing your Facebook profile before giving out her phone number. Mark my words.

already happened to me.

I got this girls number off POF i was texting her and she told me she wanted to see my facebook. after not giving it up at first i just got tired of her asking so i gave it to her.

of course she just checks my pics decides i'm not worth then doesn't text back. sigh.. she was like a 4 ( yeah, i just burn all my sets down on pof. cos it's god exp. )

 

[zinc4]

There is so much butthurt in this thread.....it is much easier to me to meet and form good rapport with girls at clubs than day game...because day game is always very limited in what you can do with the girl right then and there....for quick success, nightclubs are still where it's at..

it's still not too difficult if you are hitting the right spots in a decent sized city...bottom line is if you are attractive, show some charisma then getting a few quality numbers in a packed nightclub is like taking candy from a baby...getting an instant lay can be more hit or miss....but for me the instant lay is always in my mind.....numbers and dance sessions are really really easy if that is what you are talking about...

But i think if you look at it from a more positive perspective you will see there are many many great opportunities in busy nightclubs..just comes down to your looks and skills with the ladies..yeah there are always the big annoying social groups cliquing together with the legions of ****blockers...and peer pressure from their friends of looking slutty...but there are still plenty of single women there desiring to somehow meet the right guy there or anywhere else...and also you can instantly infiltrate their social circles by getting the guy's approvals first and forming rapport with the guys...i generally don't like to do that...but if you are alone and need social proof, it always works very well..i always try to talk to a lot of guys at the clubs for social proof alone...bimbos are really stupid and shallow and a lot of them will judge the heck out of you if you are without friends...or at least think it's abnormal to be there alone........but on the contrary they are very impressed if you seem to know everyone and are getting high fives from all the alpha types in the club...

and as far as POF goes....geez, seems like a waste of time to me.....that is for passive guys or guys who live in small cities and have no other choices..to meet women

 

[PlayHer Man]

There is so much butthurt in this thread.....it is much easier to me to meet and form good rapport with girls at clubs than day game...because day game is always very limited in what you can do with the girl right then and there....for quick success, nightclubs are still where it's at..

it's still not too difficult if you are hitting the right spots in a decent sized city...bottom line is if you are attractive, show some charisma then getting a few quality numbers in a packed nightclub is like taking candy from a baby...getting an instant lay can be more hit or miss....but for me the instant lay is always in my mind.....numbers and dance sessions are really really easy if that is what you are talking about...

But i think if you look at it from a more positive perspective you will see there are many many great opportunities in busy nightclubs..just comes down to your looks and skills with the ladies..yeah there are always the big annoying social groups cliquing together with the legions of ****blockers...and peer pressure from their friends of looking slutty...but there are still plenty of single women there desiring to somehow meet the right guy there or anywhere else...and also you can instantly infiltrate their social circles by getting the guy's approvals first and forming rapport with the guys...i generally don't like to do that...but if you are alone and need social proof, it always works very well..i always try to talk to a lot of guys at the clubs for social proof alone...bimbos are really stupid and shallow and a lot of them will judge the heck out of you if you are without friends...or at least think it's abnormal to be there alone........but on the contrary they are very impressed if you seem to know everyone and are getting high fives from all the alpha types in the club...

and as far as POF goes....geez, seems like a waste of time to me.....that is for passive guys or guys who live in small cities and have no other choices..to meet women

No one is saying bars/clubs are impossible. People are just making the point that its becoming more effort than its worth. Its not as efficient as it was a few years ago.

Look at all the crap you just explained is necessary to succeed in the club environment:

you can instantly infiltrate their social circles by getting the guy's approvals first and forming rapport with the guys...i generally don't like to do that...but if you are alone and need social proof, it always works very well..i always try to talk to a lot of guys at the clubs for social proof alone...bimbos are really stupid and shallow and a lot of them will judge the heck out of you if you are without friends...or at least think it's abnormal to be there alone........but on the contrary they are very impressed if you seem to know everyone and are getting high fives from all the alpha types in the club...

When I game I want to go straight to the women. I don't want to waste time talking to a bunch of d!cks to get a chance at one of the girls in their social group who is still likely to reject me. This is a lot of work and very inefficient unless you're VERY good-looking and really stand out from the majority of men there.

Do I still do bar/club game? Absolutely. But its not the easiest way to meet women. As far as getting numbers goes... day game is most efficient. For ONS your best bet is a party at a bar/club where you are part of the "social group". The best are parties thrown by girls because all their friends come out (This is where having hot female friends comes in handy ).

My wingman throws parties at his house almost every weekend, then moves the party to the clubs. This is very effective because I get to meet the girls at the party first and become part of their "social group". We also get them drunk nice and early. Then once we get to the club, its much easier to game the girl you want and take her home since she "knows you". Any random guy who approaches her will have to start from scratch

 

[NewAndImproved]

I like night game. It's the only reason I'm now good at social circle stuff or like PlayHer Men talks about where you get a preparty with some girls and then go out to a club. I feel confident that I'm at least going to get a kiss close in these settings now.

Night game hardens you.

I think the key for night game is being persistent and staying unaffected. Got no love last weekend but 2 weeks earlier I was on fire. Had to read my journal again to remind myself of that. They're going to be highs and lows.

I think it also depends on the venue. Go where the ratio is at least somewhat reasonable and not an entire ****fest. Go where you've had success in the past. Go where you see other dudes pulling. That eliminates a lot of places right off the bat. Depending on where you live, the majority of places. But it still happens a lot if you're in a big city. Pay attention. I used to go to this spot with hot girls and great music but the best I got out of that place was a few flaky numbers. The girls either weren't into my type and/or were out in very tight social circles. But I kept going because the girls were hot, it was convenient, my boys never questioned it and I thought maybe just maybe it would be different this time. (granted, I wasn't as good as I am now... but even so it was not a good spot to pick up)

Meanwhile where I'm living now it's like night and day. Same good music and hot chicks but more importantly -- They're down too.

 

[Kenny Powers]

Ya'll need to chill the fvck out. Yes bars aren't what they used to be (i assume) and yes social media and texting are to blame, but its not even close to being as bad as you guys biitch about. A year ago a bunch of guys would have come on this thread calling all you out as simply lacking game and not being able to adapt since they still pull at bars.

Yes I've noticed there are too many groups at bars, but that's just what you do. Speaking as a young person (24), when I was in college we all went out in groups because thats just more fun. That doesn't mean we weren't open to meeting new people when we're out. I still see plenty of girls who go out in groups of 2,3 and 4, all of which are perfectly game-able solo or with a wingman.

And whats all this transparency and facebook bs? After a few years of using facebook most people, even girls get over it. You'd be surprised how many girls have 1,000+ pictures, but not hardly any recent ones because they're too cool for it anymore. If anything texting is to blame because girls get hit up all night by dudes to hangout and talk. Still, if you're exciting and interesting enough she'll pay attention to you.

Bottom line: bars are more difficult to pull, but you can still have a shiit ton of fun with your friends (which is what you should be doing to begin with) and talk to a few girls. ONS's are also harder but #s can lead to dates if you get enough of them and have game. I don't pull much at bars but they taught me how to flirt, approach and just say ridiculous shiit to a girl for fun and see what happens (literally my favorite activity).