bar advice needed help!!

[Kourt]

Alright so I went to the bar last night right? Well i'm only 18, so I normally can't, cept theres an 18+ night. So i'm going to describe what I did, and ask some questions on what I should or could have done different.

First off, my buddies didnt feel like going out, so I decided to go solo, this leads to the first question:
1) Do u really need to go with a group of friends in order to have girls interested?
Well the bar has a dance floor with a dj. So I hit up the dance floor and looked for some grinding. After three unsuccessful attempts I decided to get some pop (no alcholol for 18-20). On my way to the bar I walked past two chics. For clarity, one was wearing pink, the other white. I caught the white shirt girls eye and she quickly said "hey my friend wants to dance with you". I saw through her 'lie' right away because her friend hadnt even looked at me. So I decided to see if she wanted to dance even though she hadnt noticed me. I caught her attention and said hey want to dance? to the pink shirted girl. She was like huh? what? and then oh yea but in a little bit. I then proceeded to introduce myself. I tried the sly handshake turn into a hug dealy with the white shirt chic but she was like uh no. I didnt really care thou, I was more interested in the pink-shirt girl. So then I proceeded to do the same thing with the pink shirted girl. She accepted the hug, but she didn't really return, so I thought she might still want to dance since she didnt outright reject the hug. So then I went to the bar and got a glass of pop. 1/2 hour later, pink and white shirt were sitting down so I took up a chair next to them and initiated some more convo. Then I asked her to dance again (yes again) but she wasnt ready yet. So then I was like ok, well i'm going to go dance you can come dance with me if u want to. Then a while later while I was dancing with a group of peeps I knew she and her friend came onto the dance floor. So I decided to see if she was going to dance with me or not. I went up to her and put my hands on her hips to iniate the grind. She just laughed and she and her friend just moved to a different section of the dance floor. At the point I just decided to next her, which I prob should have done a while ago. This leads to question #2
2) How do u make a yes (which is actually a no) into a acutal yes.

Now dont get me wrong, I did get shot down some, but I actually did get some grinding in. Leading into hte next topic. So while on the dance floor I caught this one chics eye and she smiled, I returned it and I was good to go. I walked up to her and proceeded to start dancing. We danced closely face to face, and sometimes chest to chest. I was feelin up her butt a little bit, moving my hands up and down her back and legs. I could tell she was diggin me (well thats what it seemed like to me) when she danced she was lookin at me with a smile the whole time which seemed to scream kiss me. At the end of the song she went to get somthin to drink. It was pretty hot, we were both sweating. In hindsight I was kicking myself that I didnt go for the kiss at the end of the song. Later I saw her dancing with some of her friends so I went and got to grind with her again. As the song ended, I went to kiss her on the lips, but she turned her face so it ended up with a kiss on the cheek. Not bad, but the lips would have been better. We both parted our ways and I havnt seen her since. So, the question is:
3) When should you go for the kiss, or should you go for a kiss at all and ask for her # instead? I was planning on asking her for her # if I kissed her on the lips and she returned it which didnt happen so I nexted her. Should I have asked her for her # anyway?
Onto the next situation: I saw a couple girls from the same school I go to. I said hi and we had a convo. Lets call one slim and the other not so slim. Well it seemed that slim liked me a little bit, but not so slim liked me more. Not so slim asked me to dance with her so I did for a little bit, I really didnt want to hurt her feelings. Later on when the 2 of them were dancing, I started grinding with slim. She liked it, but not so slim didn't like the idea of me grinding with slim instead of her. So not so slim said somthing to the extent of "lets go get somthing to drink" so that slim would ditch me. Luckily slim seemed happy enough to keep grinding with me so we kept going, while not so slim was left solo. This leads to the question #4
4) What can you do when she likes you, but her friends dont like the idea of the 2 of you together so they try to get her to ditch you?
Well thats about all of my questions for last nights bar experiance, any other comments or critisisms are welcome.

 

[NewMan]

1)

No. Solo is just fine. In fact some people would say going Solo is better - since you don't have anyone with you fvcking things up. If your going with peeps and your intent is to pick up on chicks, then make sure you have a good wingman.

A good wingman is someone prepared to take one for the team - i.e. keep the ugly/fat chick interested while you work on the hottie.

Just realise that you also need to do the same thing for him, should the time arise.

2)

A know is a no - in certain circumstances it's a maybe - or it's a I'm interested keep doing what your doing.

If you going up to a girl and trying to kiss her and she pulls back or turns her head - thats a no.

If your grinding with a girl - or lets say making out with her - and you go for a titty grab and she grabs your hand and says no - it means not right now, but maybe later.

You have to gain experience on things like this - and read the situation. Just no, that a real "NO" generally comes with a "No" in body language (Cross the arms, a turn away from you, cross of the legs - that kind of thing) - whilst a "Maybe" doesn't have the same kind of tone or body language.

3)

There are no rules.

Guildlines:

Don't force a kiss if it doesn't feel like the right time.

Don't force the kiss if her friends are around and you've just met her.

Don't make it look like that's all your there for. You've got to put your time in.

Just enjoy yourself and let things happen naturally. Let the comvo flow, let the kino flow - and the rest will happen.

There's no substitute for experience.

4)

Thats when your wingman comes in handy. It's not generally speaking that she doesn't like you - it's the fact that your giving her friend all the attention and she's alone.

This is what we call c#ck blocking.

Usually done by fat/ugly chicks.

There's not much you can do here - unless you get a good wingman - and even then it can be tough.

Try giving a little attention to the friend.

Sometimes you just got to realise that it's a lost cause - ask for her number so that you guys can go out again and then do your thing.


General notes.

It sound slike your all about getting the frind and the hug.

That hug thing you did with white and pink shirt was just was to desperate. You've got to tone that sh#t down some.

Moves like turning a handshake into a hug - that's just slimeball stuff. Avoid that crap. Either go for the hug or shake the hand - but no moves. If it's the hug do it warmly not sly style.

Don't keep bagering girls for a dance. Again it reaks of desperation.

Get to know them - chat to them for a while then circulate around the club. Come back to them at a later time and then ask her to dance.

Or say something like - hey - how about a dance later on?

Don't pressure - be relaxed.

Remember, you don't need this sh#t - your just there having fun - have that attitude and girls will want to be a piece of that fun.


Good luck.

 

[Kourt]

thx, sounds like good advice, one more thing, ever been chatting with a girl and the convo runs dry and neither of you can think of anything to say and its a little awkward? what can you do about that cuz that happened too, it didnt really matter thou, after talking to her I found out she was engaged : /

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by Kourt
thx, sounds like good advice, one more thing, ever been chatting with a girl and the convo runs dry and neither of you can think of anything to say and its a little awkward? what can you do about that cuz that happened too, it didnt really matter thou, after talking to her I found out she was engaged : /

Always be prepared to talk about the current topic of the day. Be sure to keep it light though. Right now topics could include reality TV shows, The Grammys, Popular movies/television shows, Janet or Michael Jackson, college, local news, whatever...

Don't focus on the topic itself, focus on what you can learn about the person from their answers. Also, ask open end questions that prompts them to elaborate their answers. That's another way to find out about a person.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by Kourt
thx, sounds like good advice, one more thing, ever been chatting with a girl and the convo runs dry and neither of you can think of anything to say and its a little awkward? what can you do about that cuz that happened too, it didnt really matter thou, after talking to her I found out she was engaged : /

Always be prepared to talk about the current topic of the day. Be sure to keep it light though. Right now topics could include reality TV shows, The Grammys, Popular movies/television shows, Janet or Michael Jackson, college, local news, whatever...

Don't focus on the topic itself, focus on what you can learn about the person from their answers. Also, ask open end questions that prompts them to elaborate their answers. That's another way to find out about a person.

 

[retrievher]

You could have said something like " I promise not to cause a wardrobe malfunction, Janet" or something like that to the girls you initially tried to dance with, C&F gets them to let their guard down, enjoy themselves and relax, and puts you in a better humorous light. Yet it also lets em know you do wanna see the boobies

 

[MVPlaya]

Hmmm... I was thinking of the bar advice as in help in passing the Bar Exam. Pfew, still have a few years for I need to do that.