Banging the ex - good idea?

[MaddXMan]

3 months ago I dumped my gf of 3 years (there's a buried thread about it in this forum).

Gave her the speech, other than 2 visits to return her stuff it's been no contact - on my part.

She contacted me a number of times to cry and bawl me out. Usually at 3am.

2 weeks ago she sent a text asking me if I missed the sex, and she wanted to get together for a freak session.

I told her no, I didn't think she could handle it because when the sex was done we would still be broken up, I would leave and I didn't need any more crying and getting cussed out at 3am.

Today I get a message, she wants to **** this weekend and won't take no for an answer, says she can handle it and won't freak out on me.

Damn I want to, the last 3 months I've just been doing my own thing and getting over that ridiculous relationship. Lost 9 lbs, got my finances in order, etc. Haven't thought about dating but I still would like to get off (being a guy and all).

But the potential is there for her to suddenly start crying, saying I love you, blah blah and then the whole grind starts all over again.....

Got any advice here fellas??

 

[Kailex]

Oh boy.

You did the dumping, but the fact that you are even considering reads: DANGER!

Definitely means you have no other options and this is how it's going to go down:

(1) Meet up.
(2) She'll go right for the sex and try to give you the best sex you've ever had.
(3) She'll cut you off.
(4) You'll start missing that sex.
(5) You'll chase her, but she doesn't want any of it. She just bartered sex for a boost to her own ego and validation and in essence and in her mind, getting back at you for dumping her.

I never like it when a woman I've dumped for X reason, all of a sudden calls me up just to have sex. It's a trap waiting to happen on SOME level. Remember the "too good to be true" deals? This is probably one of those.

 

[jophil28]

Today I get a message, she wants to **** this weekend and won't take no for an answer, says she can handle it and won't freak out on me.

But the potential is there for her to suddenly start crying, saying I love you, blah blah and then the whole grind starts all over again.....

Got any advice here fellas??

Ahhh. I can hear that sound of the 'golden hoover' warming up , and I can hear it all the way from down here.
Aren't women so damn predictable. When all else fails, aim the Vag at him .

You are going to hear from the wannabe's DJ's encouraging you to go for it as long as you don't not catch any new "feelings", but as usual they would be missing the point.

Madd X, you know what is in your own best interests .

This is a test or two - not only is it one of her's, but also one of your own in which your strength and resolve is strained and challenged..

You went NC for a good reason (or reasons) .We do not know all of those, but you do, and your decision to break up with her emerged out of those reasons.

IF you comply with her wishes, the consequences will be-

1) You will have taught her how to "get at you" and manipulate you. Expect more of the same because women work on the "push though the cracks" principle .
In effect she will then know that her pvssy still rules you and that bawling and swearing adds even more flavor to this dish..

2) The second and more important outcome is that you will then have to accept that what you say is not what you mean.

You made a deal with yourself to breakup with her.
You broke that deal.
Your word is then worth nothing.

Someone recently quoted Scarface on this forum ( this is approximate ) " All I have is my Word and my Balls. I ain't gonna break either for nobody."

Goodluck.

 

[MaddXMan]

There is NO WAY I would want her back. The emotional connection is dead. A daily look at the scorch mark her curling iron left on my couch and computer chair is all the reminder I need that she is poison in a relationship.

Other options? Nope. Haven't pursued any. Two friends want to set me up if I'm interested but not in the mood to date right now.

 

[1 Bad Dude]

Two words...


















"I'm pregnant!"
Don't do it.

 

[Julius_Seizeher]

I will admit, in the past I have banged exes. Now, I'm 99% sure I'd never do it again.

And that's even taking into account that I was one of the fortunate few who could sleep with an ex without dragging everything out, sparking the embers, and rehashing a whole new round of drama, jealousy, deceit, etc.

No drama is one of my creeds.

But the reason I wouldn't do my latest ex, is I wonder what it would be like when I'm done. When I'm done and my libido is "at bay", I would be sitting there thinking "Why the hell didn't I just jack it? This is weird, I want her out of here NOW."

Just save yourself the trouble, man.

 

[Zarky]

Hmm I'm not sure what the problem could be as long as you don't get killed, arrested, or her pregnant.

But then I'm not the type who gets attached to women all that much. The only reason I've ever dumped a chick is because the sex was bad, so you might have to clue me in here....

.. besides the above 3 things, what could go wrong? If she messed up your place and you think she might do it again, just go to her place.

 

[Scaramouche]

MissPost

 

[hithard]

Ahhh. I can her that sound of the 'golden hoover' warming up , and I can hear it all the way from down here.
Aren't women so damn predictable. When all else fails aim the Vag at him .

What Jo said

Wasn't there a song about it?
"Maddx don't have sex with your ex"

 

[Warrior74]

Yah I went back and had fun with a few ex's. My main ex did it to get me emotionally invovled and then tried to dump me. Other ex's it was just standby sex until they found the next guy, it was never in my best interest. These days I would just decline. The question is, are you getting sex somewhere else, if you were, you wouldn't even worry about it.

 

[sodbuster]

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO next time you are horny and call her for no strings attached sex? she'll string you along and not come over for whatever reason. She thinks she has the power back[and will][there is rarely no strings attached sex with a woman.

You already know you want her out of your life. My experience was with one I was ambivalent about...except I knew she wasn't long term amterial.

 

[MaddXMan]

lol I'm tempted sure but I love just how drama-free my life is right now. I'm not hooking up with the ex. I just know she would say "I love you" - this would be met with silence or me doing a face palm - then the fireworks would begin! F THAT! Thanks everyone, you all put a scare into me too haha. Peace.

 

[BeyondCharm]

Do what you want. You're going to anyway. We can list pros and cons all day, but in the end, you'll have to make your own decisions and be a man about them.

 

[Nutz]

I did a couple times and to be honest I don't think it was worth the hassle of her drama of thinking it meant more than it did. If you go down that path make sure you are clear about where your relationship limits stand so she doesn't think you're getting back together.

 

[vatoloco]

A daily look at the scorch mark her curling iron left on my couch and computer chair is all the reminder I need that she is poison in a relationship.

Wow. An unstable woman like this is likely to have gotten herpes or something and wants to share with you "the gift that keeps on giving..."

I wouldn't touch that with a 10-foot pole if I were you...