Band Camp taught me one thing about myself, I'm a LONG way from becoming a Don Juan.

[Viper]

I'm just coming back from a week at Band Camp, which is required if you want to join the High School band. Since I had just recently started reading the DJ Bible, I came here with high expectations. To my surprise, even though this is band were talking about, there were actually a lot of HBs attending band camp. I approached a few girls, sophomores like me and I learned one thing, I can't keep an interesting conversation going for my life. For some reason, I just couldn't bring myself to approach girls in the senior class, I couldn't keep a good conversation going with a girl in my own grade, I sure as hell couldn't keep the interest of a girl 2 or 3 years older than me; the mear fact that they were seniors and I was only a sophomore, also intimidated me.

Something that I've realized for a long time that only helps get in the way, is that I don't have the greatest voice, alot of people have told me that I don't have a very clear voice and often don't speak loud enough. When I try to socialize with people or ask them a question, they usually either don't hear me or when they do hear me, I have to say something a good 3 times for them to get what I'm saying. These things often lead people to ignore me and not take me seriously.

Another thing I've noticed is that, I could wear the most popular line of clothing in the world and girls still wouldn't notice me. I'm your average looking black guy, I'm 5'9 and I weigh about 185 pounds; I wash myself up, wear nice clothes, brush my teeth, but when I enter the room, girls just seem to turn their heads. Could it be my whole, gangster(Baggy jeans, long white or black T-shirt) look that's turning them off? Should I smile? How do I become more attractive towards women? Yeah, advice would be nice. Band camp was good and all, but in reality , it only helped me to realize that I have a LONG way to go until I'm a Don Juan.

 

[brenbaus]

OK Viper, as a former high school marching band member now going into my freshmen year at college (where there is no marching band.... that sucks). I can tell you that chicks love guys who play insturments, and are good at it! One thing you have to learn how to do is attract the girls outside of band, as the ones in the band already know of your masterful mouth and hand skills.

Should you smile? HAVE YOU EVEN READ ANYTHING POSTED ON THIS SITE? Of course you should smile! The way to hold a conversation with a girl is to ASK HER OPEN ENDED QUESTIONS (those are the ones that usually require her to talk for more than two seconds.) And remember, the man makes the clothes, not the other way around.

By the way, what do you play? I am a trumpet player

 

[FL BOY]

Yes!Please smile.....even if you have nothin to smile about just act like you do.(now im not sayin smile 24/7) just smile once you enter a room or while your in the hallways....it makes you much more confident looking.And I know it makes me look oo soo sexy lol.About your clothes.....I really wouldnt wear that kind of clothing unless it fits your physique....and being 5'6 185 i would say not really. Go with some polo style shirts...green,yellow,light blue,black,orange all good colors.Always wear under shirts too and not always white undershirts!!Ecko also isnt bad at all as long as you dont get shirts that extend halfway down your forearm,which makes you look kinda raggy IMO. Khaki shorts always go good with polo style tees.Dark blue jeans for the dark colors.About you having bad conversation skills along with bad voice tone....there was a thread on these boards(not sure which forum)which taught you how to pick how you wanted your voice to sound...search for it.

And if you really wanna learn how to talk to girls, there was a thread a few days ago which was the best thread ive ever read....It was called Seduction 101.....Now go Seduce!!

 

[dannowillbookem]

smile.

it makes u look like someone who has a lot of fun, and girls want that in a man. when u enter a room, look straight ahead, as if u hardly noticed that theres hb's on both sides of the room. i always pick out something i feel is more important. example: i enter a party and immidiately i eye the band, the food, and my friends. i pay attention to them, barely giving the girls a glance, but when i do, i make eye contact, smile, and look away before they do.

wow never analyzed so in detail what i do lol

 

[October]

Viper-

This is a good post. Reflection is a good thing, because when you reflect on what you do wrong it helps you get better. You may not have what you want yet, but you will get it eventually if you keep at it. I keep my own journal, and I write stuff like this all the time.

My advice is...don't get discouraged. If you want to make yourself more attractive to women, read the millions of self-improvement posts that are on this site. Focus on yourself, doing it for yourself and making yourself happy, and women will come eventually. Don't do it to please other people.

Talking to people is easy! It really is. I think you're taking it too seriously. Don't make it a chore. Don't TRY to make other people laugh, don't make jokes to try to get other people to laugh, I used to do that and it never ever works. If you want to be interesting, you have to make it fun for yourself. That's all I'll say. Or if you want to get to know the person, ask questions. But holding a conversation is easy. You can learn from observing other people too, and deciding what you like or don't like about what they do. Check out Weapons of Mass Seduction, there's some pretty good stuff in there.

Another thing...hmm...you shouldn't think of approaching women as a chore either. Do it because you WANT to do it. I don't know if that's what you're doing, but just in case. The two mindsets can create huge differences in your results.

Hope this helps, and good luck.

 

[08aisaac]

Hey dude I know how you feel. It took me one and a half years to develop out of the AFC that I was into the Master Don Juan. And Band Camp sucked for us because we had a dictator for a band director.

Hey my msn is theoneaaron1@hotmail.com

But yeah read the bible and download the offline version and read the Book of Shuma Gora. It is good.

 

[TheKarnivalShow]

Trust me man, macking in band gets hella easier your junior and senior years. I started the whole Don Juan thing around the time of my sophmore year in marching band and I was sorely disappointed at the lack of women that were interested in me. It was extremley frustrating.

This year, only a year later, I find band camp to be the easiest place to mack. Not only did I approach some girls from a different band (HB8 and up) with success but I got two good looking HB8's obsessed with me. Things get a lot easier. Sophmore year is the time for you to gain confidence . Next year it will be a different story I promise.

08aisaac, where you at in Kentucky? I'm in Ohio County, about ten minutes from Owensboro.

 

[dannowillbookem]

Originally posted by 08aisaac
But yeah read the bible and download the offline version and read the Book of Shuma Gora. It is good.

lol ur still peddling that long ass thing.

too much reading for lazy me.

 

[tigre]

band camp lol:crackup:

 

[Viper]

Originally posted by tigre
band camp lol:crackup:

Please refrain from spamming.

 

[Craig Reeves]

OK, I don't really have enough information on your conversations as to how they could possibly be drying up, but I can try to make a few suggestions that might help you out.

Are you FLIRTING with these girls?

I'm asking you this question because you're saying that your conversations are dry and dull. To spark the life back into a conversation you need to actually FLIRT more often and back off of trying to "build rapport".

It's very important to remember that just having long and boring conversation is NOT the way to build rapport with a girl. Just because your talking to her for a long period of time does not mean that you are making progress. I think that might be what you are trying to accomplish. I think your objective currently is to make a long and involved conversation for her to "get to know you" and "build rapport" when your goal SHOULD be to make her feel attraction for you by being fun and playful.

Instead of trying to think of up to talk about, you need to start FLIRTING with these girls. If you don't know how to flirt you can check out the DJ Bible, they have some great flirting tips there for you to use.

But there's no point in trying to make a long conversation or "make a connection" with a girl that you are first approaching. Just concentrate on having FUN.


Do you not feel you are good enough?

The fact that you are intimidated by these girls tells me that you feel UNWELCOME or UNINVITED and feel as if you need to IMPRESS them or win their approval in order to be invited or welcome.

As a DJ you need to ALWAYS ASSUME that you are welcome and invited. That way the women you are with will start to BELIEVE that you are invited and welcome.

The even WORSE mindset is thinking that you don't HAVE their approval yet and that you have to EARN it. This mindset is even WORSE to have. Because this all of a sudden makes you feel like you have to DO something that will impress them, even though you have no clue as to what this "something" could be since you don't know them well enough to know.

As far as women and dating goes there is never any need to IMPRESS a woman when you first meet her. In fact, the more you try to impress her with your good conversation and intelect the more you will drive yourself in a hole. Stop worrying about what interests them and start concentrating on making the interaction between the two of you fun. Stop worrying about making the conversation impress her. You don't know these girls so trying to impress them or get their approval is like swinging at a mosquito in the dark, hoping that you will kill it.



These two things COULD be the reasons as to why you are not getting the results you are looking for. I haven't gotten enough information to be sure though, but you do need to consider them.

 

[08aisaac]

Originally posted by TheKarnivalShow
Trust me man, macking in band gets hella easier your junior and senior years. I started the whole Don Juan thing around the time of my sophmore year in marching band and I was sorely disappointed at the lack of women that were interested in me. It was extremley frustrating.

This year, only a year later, I find band camp to be the easiest place to mack. Not only did I approach some girls from a different band (HB8 and up) with success but I got two good looking HB8's obsessed with me. Things get a lot easier. Sophmore year is the time for you to gain confidence . Next year it will be a different story I promise.

08aisaac, where you at in Kentucky? I'm in Ohio County, about ten minutes from Owensboro.

Hey I live in owensboro and all my relatives live in Centertown.

 

[Viper]

I appreciate the advice guys, I'll be honest I haven't gotten to reading it all, but I like what I've seen so far. I'm definitely going to make an effort to try and apply these things, as well as what I've learned from the DJ Bible, at our next band rehearsal, which on August 22nd.

btw what do u play?

Alto Saxophone.

 

[MrS]

Saxophones are always cool with girls, I would have thought.

READ!

 

[*******]

since everybody is helping you on your game ima help your fashion sense. You said you dressed ganstah with white t's etc. Assuming you live in a hood lik me, you should know $5 white T's are acceptable but right now the hood is getting real preppy with brands like la coste. Im not sayin to dress preppy but stay up with wats happenin you can't jus rok pure plain T's. Get your self some polos, they're what the throwback was 2 years ago. keep your kickz fresh n updated. it dosen't matter what you are wearing if your shoes are BUMMY. I suggest you get the red and white jordans (X's) thats coming out early sept. Everybody is going to have em so u should too if u want to keep up (Im not saying b a follower). Get the matching fitted 2 n Look propa. Don't dress too baggy and don't put your pants too low. Jeans have gotten tighter and higher in the hood every year now. depending on what city you at wat im saying may not apply. But in Nyc jeans are not as baggy as they once were n everybody wants to look a lil lik jay z & T.I. Since you are black you should either have your hair real low with optional tape up n waves Or braided. That mini afro sh1t aint popping. I can't think of any black dudes i know that get girls and have something diferent.
BTW get a shape up every now and then. This aren't rules just suggestions.

N E ways im a trumpet player for like 7 years and a senior in high school. And i think if you can't do it now u won't do it then, so fix ur problems now and don't wait to be a senior. 1

 

[08aisaac]

Yeah the girls loved the one Saxaphone we had in our band. I played baritone and us baritone's were the manly men. I mean our 1st baritone was a ****ing pimp. lol. I love playing baritone.

 

[Inquire]

i dont know if this helps but look clean man. like go for the gangsta thang, i have a little of tat, but make sure ur head is clean. ur hair is right and sharp, ur bread or mustache is nice lookin and clean, and ur just plain out clean and not all messy or anythang.