Ballsy Approach Tips?

[Juando]

Example one:
I was at a farmer's market and noticed an hb checking me out, smiled at me;
went over to the stand but was frustrated by the timing of things- she was with a friend and the French guy seller was laying it on thick with his "friendly" charm. And I don't know if he was deliberately c*ckblocking but he totally ignored me so that I felt there was not entry point. And he was talking a mile a minute about some guy they obviously knew in common. I stood there long enough to the point where any longer would have been silly.

Example two:
Getting a haircut from a cute Japanese lady, she's very friendly to the point where I felt like it went beyond a service person being cordial, working for tips, etc. When it was time to go I felt checkmated- surrounded by other cutters, customers, could not pull her aside, closing would have felt claustrophobic and totally public and put her on the spot. I ended up calling just after the shop closed and got lucky, but that really was luck.

I'm not bad at approaching, not overly shy about approaching in public, but some of these situations are challenging to the point where I say, OK not this time, just too awkward here....

But I'd like to hear if you guys have any tips or experience in situations where it really is difficult, potentially embarrassing to the girl, not a good situation to pull her aside (I've successfully pulled women aside, but usually after some minimal contact), etc.

Grow an extra set? Give up and move on? What?

 

[Lifeforce]

IMO when you have someone actively is cbing you its often not worth it to try and pursue it unless you are really motivated or sure you can control the situation. Pissing off the cber if the target knows them can be very negative unless she likes you alot. I'd either browse around a little and wait for the other guy to get busy with a costumer then approach or just leave it. Whatever you do dont just stand there.


If you can try to close before she's done but at the end of the cutting leaving you with minimal talk before you can eject. You have strongest connection when you're not moving into new environments (i.e from chair to counter) and no new people join the conversation. You got lucky anyway so its all good and well. Maybe you can get her to write her number later when she goes to the counter.


But as you say, many situations can be very awkward so its not always the best course of action to ask her out in every situation.

 

[Juando]

It's also amazing when it's "meant to be".
I was hiking with a friend and spotted a beauty off in the distance, sitting on a rock. Could not do much more than say hi.
Two days later I stopped by a friend's place, and there she was, practically gift wrapped for me.

I resonate with your take, Lifeforce- good stuff!

Anyone else? What do you do when the going gets tough but the hb is not to be walked away from?

 

[Vypros]

lol

The french guy and the other cutters were NOT, I repeat, NOT c*ckblocking you. Jesus.

Stop thinking of it as an approach and start thinking of it as being social. When you get into those situations, the idea is not to have the end goal (getting a number) in mind, but rather your end goal is simply: to meet someone new and talk to them. No more, no less. If you find an opening to ask her out, then take it, but if the situation does not present an opening then do not try to force it or it will come off badly.

You need to reframe the way you view social interactions and approaches, because thinking that people having a conversation with a girl you want to ask out is "c*ckblocking" then you are really not approaching the situation with the right mindset.

 

[Juando]

lol

The french guy and the other cutters were NOT, I repeat, NOT c*ckblocking you. Jesus.

Stop thinking of it as an approach and start thinking of it as being social. When you get into those situations, the idea is not to have the end goal (getting a number) in mind, but rather your end goal is simply: to meet someone new and talk to them. No more, no less. If you find an opening to ask her out, then take it, but if the situation does not present an opening then do not try to force it or it will come off badly.

You need to reframe the way you view social interactions and approaches, because thinking that people having a conversation with a girl you want to ask out is "c*ckblocking" then you are really not approaching the situation with the right mindset.

Thanks, but I'm looking for constructive feedback, not browbeating or lectures based on your projections based on your interpretations instead of what I actually wrote.

Where do I mention getting numbers?
Where did I say that the cutters were c*ckblocking?
You were not there and yes, I did suspect the French guy of c*ckblocking but that was not at all the point of my post, it's about dealing with difficult situations, insofar as both approaching and closing.

I do agree with you about being social, which is my overall attitude- I always try to get to the point where there is sufficient rapport that exchanging numbers is a no-brainer. That's 101;

What I'm looking for here is suggestions from skilled DJs on dealing with situations that are so challenging or awkward that walking away seems like the only practical option. I DO walk away when warranted but I'm always looking for ways to stretch and improve my skills.

 

[Juando]

Example three-

This one worked but I don't get all the credit.
Went to see a play my friend was in and waiting outside for the audience to be let in. Notice three very attractive young ladies off to side chatting in an animated fashion and my brain is scheming as quickly as possible how to get to the blonde in the group with the very very fine legs. But I'm thwarted as the group is let in and takes their seats.

Now the play is over and there's a Q and A session. In the back of my mind I'm still on the blonde and at a gut level still scheming, in a sort of desperate nothing to lose fashion. So I raise my hand for the last question and make a somewhat controversial and thought-provoking comment.

As I am about to exit one attractive woman comes up to compliment me, then another, and as I turn to leave, yup- the blonde. BINGO!!
Yes!! there is a God and I have been blessed. She's been out of state but coming back soon and we've been in email contact.

Like I said I don't take full credit for that one, the gods were definitely with me that night. But I would like to get to a place where I have more success stories like that one, less dependent on luck more on skill and finesse.

 

[dbot]

Just butt in.

"Excuse me, sorry to interrupt but I couldn't help but notice that you're buying organic lettuce. What the hell is up with that?"

If you can't slip in, consider kicking the door down. Quit hogging and get everyone involved in the conversation.

 

[Juando]

Just butt in.

"Excuse me, sorry to interrupt but I couldn't help but notice that you're buying organic lettuce. What the hell is up with that?"

If you can't slip in, consider kicking the door down. Quit hogging and get everyone involved in the conversation.

Now we're talking.

Life is short...

 

[Juando]

All you kick*ss DJs out there and no wisdom on navigating smoothly in tough situations, in public, in the spotlight, when the chips are down... uh?

 

[CapCrunch]

most ballsy pick line ive ever used: "Hi, your cute and im smart so what if we bounce and go for a coffe?"

i got laid that night

 

[Juando]

Ok, I'll give myself credit for this one, even though it did not feel that difficult at the time; when the spirit is connected and flowing things seem to fall into place with much less effort.

I was on my way to see a plate, stopped off to pick up lunch at a Thai place.
Spotted a cute hb in the parking lot and ended up doing all my my approaching between the lot and standing at the counter of this jammed place. I ignored all the folks standing next to us while we progressed through a nice rapport and I timed it so I got her name, email, number, and said goodbye.

Perhaps this the truth I've been looking for- simply make the first move (I asked her if she was leaving, she said no, i asked her if she would watch my car, she laughed and it was on), then go with the flow if the connection is 'taking". This time I was not at all intimidated by the crowd around me, perhaps because I 've been thinking about this stuff, practicing, and fed up with being defeated by circumstances. I need to do this a few times to solidify my confidence.

One of the best parts of this experience was that it was FUN. I enjoyed the timing, I enjoyed watching her bend over in the lot, I even enjoyed ignoring the people standing next to us.