Balancing assertiveness with building anticipation?

[FutureSpartan]

Biggest sticking point in my game so far is not being enough of a challenge to want her to chase me.

In general, I like getting physical as soon as possible. Not to mean that I want to f*ck her the first or second date, but I like to get some physical intimacy going to set a romantic dynamic as opposed to a friend dynamic.

Its not working out for me though, i feel like im pushing quality girls away with my over-assertiveness in pushing for intimacy quickly.

No matter how many times I try to control myself, It always ends up with me thinking with my d*ck during the date and ruining the interaction. A certain part of me also fears that if i dont set a romantic tone she will lose interest.

As you can imagine, its a total mindf*ck for me. This girl right now seems interested in me still, but now i can tell she is no hurry. I feel bad because she seems like a genuinely nice and caring person and I ruined the dynamic by moving too fast. My best option right now is damage control, pull back and let her call/message me first.

But I need to fix this, cause it seems like knee-jerk action that i have no control over. Again i have this deep-rooted fear of her losing interest in me if i dont "make a move" soon.

Answer this for me, how do women, in general, respond best to intimacy? What are the buying signals that women will give out when its time to be assertive and make the move? How do you control yourself, but at the same time not overdo it to where she thinks your gay or not interested?

I appreciate your responses!

 

[FutureSpartan]

bump

 

[MotownMack]

That's a good question.

The only thing that really comes to mind is that you don't necessarily have to become physical to get her turned on or let her know you're interested. In others a little kino will help, but you don't have to be making out with for her to take the hint. Also, a lot can be done with smiling, flirting, and body language.

I don't think this is that complicated, really. As you said, I think it's more you "feeling" like you've got make a move to let her know you're interested, when the reality is you can make any girl aware of your intentions w/o going so far as to put her off by being aggressive. I think you're trying to put yourself in her shoes-as in, what signals would I pick up on if the situation was reversed. But she's been approached a lot more than you have, she doesn't need such aggressive signals to figure it out.

 

[Entropy4]

Sounds like you're being too pushy. Girls LIKE you to be assertive, but they don't want you to be overbearing or forceful. Whatever you're doing, you're doing it wrong, because if you do it right, ****ing a girl on the first date usually won't be a problem.

Do a search around seduction sites on Push/Pull. What it entails is basically being aggressive physically, but then pushing her away playfully. For instance, I'll sit next to a girl, be leaning in towards her, take her hand in mine, say something really sweet and then when she responds, make fun of her and push her away from me. This makes them CLAW at you. You basically want to make your teasing physical.

There was one time a girl and I were touching a lot, and she told me, "I kind of want to kiss you right now." What did I do? I pushed her off me, and was like, "OMG, I just met you, that's weird." She couldn't believe it and apologized. As soon as she apologized I put my arms around her and kissed her. Then I push her off me again and call her a pervert. This push/pull stuff drives girls MAD!

Hopefully this makes sense to you, if you want some more detail, either PM more or search around the net. It's a pretty old, but under-utilized skill.

 

[ARrocket]

Sounds like you're being too pushy. Girls LIKE you to be assertive, but they don't want you to be overbearing or forceful. Whatever you're doing, you're doing it wrong, because if you do it right, ****ing a girl on the first date usually won't be a problem.

Do a search around seduction sites on Push/Pull. What it entails is basically being aggressive physically, but then pushing her away playfully. For instance, I'll sit next to a girl, be leaning in towards her, take her hand in mine, say something really sweet and then when she responds, make fun of her and push her away from me. This makes them CLAW at you. You basically want to make your teasing physical.

There was one time a girl and I were touching a lot, and she told me, "I kind of want to kiss you right now." What did I do? I pushed her off me, and was like, "OMG, I just met you, that's weird." She couldn't believe it and apologized. As soon as she apologized I put my arms around her and kissed her. Then I push her off me again and call her a pervert. This push/pull stuff drives girls MAD!

Hopefully this makes sense to you, if you want some more detail, either PM more or search around the net. It's a pretty old, but under-utilized skill.

Yeah, that sounds about right. I also think that a key here is ESCALATION. If you start out with light kino, you can gauge her reaction before working your way up the ladder. That way, you can pull back until later if necessary.