Balance of Nice Guy and Jerk

[crossboss]

I can be a real jerk at times, and sometimes too much. I have had people hate me for being a jerk, one person wanted to kill me. I have tried to apologize to people, but they just don't forgive.

Sometimes, girls like it though, they grab my ass or touch me a lot. Though recently my game has been lacking.

I used to be one of those "nice guys" who would just kiss ass. Now I just don't respect females. Even one female was like you just don't respect females.

I feel really bad for all the mean things I have done. I want to go back.

1. Anyway to apologise to the people I hurt?

2. How can I be a jerk without being too jerky?

 

[crossboss]

So be a jerk

So be a jerk, but say really nice things as well.

 

[mattb717]

I'm in a somewhat similar situation where I go back and forth between being a jerk or too nice. I've made girls cry for no reason, and I scared some because I was too clingy. That's one of the main things I'm working on in tweaking myself is finding the perfect balance.

 

[Kings_royalty]

It's all about timing bro. There is a time and place to be a jerk, then there is a time and place to be a 'little' nicer.

 

[crossboss]

Thanks

I just don't want to ruin people's lives, I have hurt many.

 

[mattb717]

:nono:

Conveying the image of an unbalanced man is a good thing, bro!

Consider this:

There are scientific studies proving roller coaster rides release endorphins in the brain...the kind of endorphins that make you addicted to riding roller coasters over and over again.

The ride scares the **** out of you..you're scared and frightened the whole time...but at the end, you know the ride gave you pleasure...you survived, and you feel AWESOME...notice people high-fiving each other at the end of the ride...notice people buying pictures to commemorate the event.

That roller coaster did nothing nice...yet, you wanna ride it over and over.

Well, with women, the same principle applies. They want what they can't have...and they want attention...they want to "fix" you.

Let them have their fun trying to fix you, bro.


Balanced? Nah. Give em a roler coaster ride. Be nice, but be a jerk, too. Ups and downs in attitude lead to ups and down in bed.

Yeah, I get what you're saying. It's actually kind of what I mean by balance. To be able to go one way or the other depending on the situation and know when it's right time to do so to keep a girl guessing.

 

[grr]

Yea dude, you're straight, don't feel guilty, that's dwelling on the past, which completely goes against the push & pull theory.

One second around girls I'll throw out some gender stereotype and offend all the women, the next I'll be the only one to buy a gift for the birthday girl, and still yet I'll bust out a joke that EVERYONE laughs at, not just the girls or just the guys: Everyone. It all balances out.

 

[crossboss]

Golden rule meaning

Treat others as you want to be treated?

 

[Desdinova]

1. Anyway to apologise to the people I hurt?

You can try, but you may have to accept that the damage you previously inflicted may be unrepairable. The best you can do in situations like this is move ahead with your life, learn from your experiences, and leave them in the past. The only direction you can move in life is forward, so there's no point in trying to move backwards.

 

[blueguy]

I don't think you understand the meaning of the word jerk as it pertains to girls. A jerk is a guy who cares more about himself and doesn't give too much of a sh!t about his girl. Girls like him because he is going places and his life doesn't revolve around them. They hate him because they can't control him and want more of him. Nice guys look at this guy and say, "that guy is a jerk, I'll take care of you better than him." (Translation: I'll make my life revolve around you.) A guy who intentionally insults others isn't a "jerk"... he is a "nice guy" because he gets frustrated too easily about the girl (he cares more about the girl than himself)... girls don't like him.

 

[Berlex]

This summer I spent three months studying abroad. Of the 30 students, ten of them were males! I didn't know any of the students which meant a clean slate. I'm not going to lie, I'm a nice guy but on this trip I was the jerk! I thought twice before my actions, I knew I'd piss somebody off but I didn't care. I liked the attention. I think I like the new me.

 

[music]

he is a "nice guy" because he gets frustrated too easily about the girl (he cares more about the girl than himself)... girls don't like him.

yup so he can stab himself for a girl or she would like that

 

[everywomanshero]

Just being a jerk alone without some attractive qualities isn't likely to be a very successful strategy. It works to some very limited extent, because you're putting your needs first. I know some very successful jerks, but all of them have other qualities like being very freaking funny, having a life with lots of friends to play paintball, throw darts, and go out with, etc. The "jerks" I know who are isolated, bitter men are completely avoided by women. I would say women see them as below even the "Nice Guys". "I'm OK you're not OK" is a better outlook than the most common belief in the US "I'm not ok, you're OK". On the other hand, being bitter and unhappy with life is a really bad cologne to be wearing.

"nice guys" usually look their mothers' dressed them for school. They place too much emphasis on the acceptance of others. They don't do much out of the ordinary for fear of what others will think. They spend all kinds of money of women, especially in the beginning, only to become bitter about it down the road when she's upset that he cannot continue doing so or she leaves him.

It isn't required that you do either of those roles. I suggest neither. How about just being an attractive person with his own identity who doesn't have to classify himself?

 

[khash]

nice one!