Baffled by eye contact

[halfguard]

The last 3 or 4 days I've been on a big push to practice/experience/expose myself to the eye contact phenomena. I guess I'm bored. I happen to have been at alot of crowded malls, coffee shops, bookstores, and supermarkets.

The goal was just to experience it. It didn't matter how ugly, hot, fat, skinny they were. It didn't matter if they were 22 or 54.

I'm 47. In shape. Dress in a classic style. Fitted clothes. No dad bod with baggy sweatshirts and sneakers or any of that crap. Still have hair. About 5'11. I'd like to think I have a bit of a presence.

Well it feels like I am invisible. Over the last 3 days I must of passed at least 500 to 1000 women. I think I had eye contact with maybe 20 of them and about 6 or 7 actually held eye contact. Like held meaning the chemical in your brain release type held. That's all well and good.

I'm not concerned about the ones I made eye contact with. I'm more concerned about the lack of any type of eye contact.

Now, to be clear, I'm not a sociopath and I generally function in a socially acceptable manner. I'm not leering at them like an axe murderer or staring from a mile away.

Some I feel know I'm looking but refuse to move their gaze anywhere but in front of them.
That could mean they are totally disgusted by me and will not look at all.
It could mean they have no clue I exist.
Or, and this one is wishful thinking...they are the one intimidated.

I realize there is the availability quotient and attraction quotient involved. But is it possible, assuming I'm not a hideous ghoul, that 1000 women of all ages have zero interest in me or just looking at their surroundings in general?

And lastly I'm also aware people have crap to do and they are not out there looking for 47 year old dudes. But again just pure numbers I should be doing better than that.

The eye contact thing stumps me because everything you read, and I'm not talking about pua crap, I mean more legit science stuff about body language and eye contact, makes it sound like this should be happening 100s of times a day.

 

[Julian]

Welcome to 2019 where people avoid eye contact. Girls will blatantly avoid eye contact especially with guys they are attracted to due to insecurity and intimidation. Ive always thought to not approach until a chick gives strong eye contact and signals. Whilst this is a definitive giveaway she is attracted, lack of eye contact does not mean she isnt. So u have to get the attention of an approach anyone who interests you

 

[zekko]

Give it some time, some days I go out and no woman will look at me. Other times I go out and I get lots of eye contact. It seems to be completely random. Not related to how I am dressed, how I look, or how confident or affable I am feeling.

 

[17 shots]

6 or 7 in three days isn't bad at all. You have to keep in mind that long periods of eye contact is a sign of high attraction. Not just normal attraction, but HIGH... so to expect that level of attraction all day every day, isn't really realistic. It's about knowing how to recognize it when you see it, and being able to capitalize off of it

 

[halfguard]

6 or 7 in three days isn't bad at all. You have to keep in mind that long periods of eye contact is a sign of high attraction. Not just normal attraction, but HIGH... so to expect that level of attraction all day every day, isn't really realistic. It's about knowing how to recognize it when you see it, and being able to capitalize off of it

Yeah. I know. It wasn't the actual eye contact I was concerned about. It was the lack of any eye contact at all. The way people talk, write articles, and write whole books about it you'd think it happens constantly. Being in populated venues with a wide range of demographics I would've thought there would be way more eye contact in general. Even natural unintentional eye contact. Bizarre.

 

[wifehunter]

Can we trade places? I wish I could be invisible, most of the time.

Instead, I'm constantly wondering if my fly is down, or if there are boogers in my nose.

 

[Kotaix]

There's a lot to be said about lack of eye contact nowadays, especially in the seattle area where the 'Seattle freeze' is most def a thing. But to a certain degree that is almost an asset to you because you're the rare person who isn't trying to avert their gaze out of fear.

I've done the same experiment you have often. I'm not the best looking guy in the world and I'm only 5'7 but I've had success with it. I've found that open public areas where people are moving with some kind of purpose in mind are by far the worst for this kind of thing because they're usually lost in thought. Restaurants, bars and concerts are where I've had the most luck getting women to share eye contact. I'm not saying those are good places to pick up women, but it's a good place to practice.

Another thing: it's really not enough just to look women in the eye. You need to come across as happy, relaxed or carefree, and it has to be sincere; you have to smile at them with your eyes. It can be as little as appreciating her sexiness and smiling at her, or looking at her and pretending you know something she doesn't (which you do, always).

Also, when a woman shares and holds eye contact, don't be the first one to break contact and be sure to notice which way she looks. A woman that likes you will avert her look down first, and will look back at you around 10 seconds later to see if you're actually interested. If you smile at her at this point and she smiles back then you're ready to go, and you must act then and there.

 

[halfguard]

There's a lot to be said about lack of eye contact nowadays, especially in the seattle area where the 'Seattle freeze' is most def a thing. But to a certain degree that is almost an asset to you because you're the rare person who isn't trying to avert their gaze out of fear.

I've done the same experiment you have often. I'm not the best looking guy in the world and I'm only 5'7 but I've had success with it. I've found that open public areas where people are moving with some kind of purpose in mind are by far the worst for this kind of thing because they're usually lost in thought. Restaurants, bars and concerts are where I've had the most luck getting women to share eye contact. I'm not saying those are good places to pick up women, but it's a good place to practice.

Another thing: it's really not enough just to look women in the eye. You need to come across as happy, relaxed or carefree, and it has to be sincere; you have to smile at them with your eyes. It can be as little as appreciating her sexiness and smiling at her, or looking at her and pretending you know something she doesn't (which you do, always).

Also, when a woman shares and holds eye contact, don't be the first one to break contact and be sure to notice which way she looks. A woman that likes you will avert her look down first, and will look back at you around 10 seconds later to see if you're actually interested. If you smile at her at this point and she smiles back then you're ready to go, and you must act then and there.

I know I'm really getting nuanced now...but I knew about the direction they look after eye contact is made. I knew if they look down there a good chance they are attracted/interested. What about sideways? Up? Does that mean they are repulsed? Is this look away rule set in stone? Just curious really.

 

[Kotaix]

Nothing is set in stone when it comes to people, but the downwards look IS submissive and you should bear that in mind when observing your own body language as well. It's her followup look into your eyes that shows interest, a downward look by itself doesn't mean much. No one action means anything by itself, not even a kiss, you have to take everything in context.

You really need to change your mindset man. You're weighing whether women are repulsed by you or not, which means that you're hinging your own perception of yourself entirely on the perception others have of you. This is the wrong way to think, you are not defined by what others think of you, they don't know you.

I think you need to watch this, all of it, even though the beginning rambles a bit:

 

[Lynx nkaf]

The last 3 or 4 days I've been on a big push to practice/experience/expose myself to the eye contact phenomena. I guess I'm bored. I happen to have been at alot of crowded malls, coffee shops, bookstores, and supermarkets.

The goal was just to experience it. It didn't matter how ugly, hot, fat, skinny they were. It didn't matter if they were 22 or 54.

I'm 47. In shape. Dress in a classic style. Fitted clothes. No dad bod with baggy sweatshirts and sneakers or any of that crap. Still have hair. About 5'11. I'd like to think I have a bit of a presence.

Well it feels like I am invisible. Over the last 3 days I must of passed at least 500 to 1000 women. I think I had eye contact with maybe 20 of them and about 6 or 7 actually held eye contact. Like held meaning the chemical in your brain release type held. That's all well and good.

I'm not concerned about the ones I made eye contact with. I'm more concerned about the lack of any type of eye contact.

Now, to be clear, I'm not a sociopath and I generally function in a socially acceptable manner. I'm not leering at them like an axe murderer or staring from a mile away.

Some I feel know I'm looking but refuse to move their gaze anywhere but in front of them.
That could mean they are totally disgusted by me and will not look at all.
It could mean they have no clue I exist.
Or, and this one is wishful thinking...they are the one intimidated.

I realize there is the availability quotient and attraction quotient involved. But is it possible, assuming I'm not a hideous ghoul, that 1000 women of all ages have zero interest in me or just looking at their surroundings in general?

And lastly I'm also aware people have crap to do and they are not out there looking for 47 year old dudes. But again just pure numbers I should be doing better than that.

The eye contact thing stumps me because everything you read, and I'm not talking about pua crap, I mean more legit science stuff about body language and eye contact, makes it sound like this should be happening 100s of times a day.

they are intimidated.


It can be difficult to determine what degree neanderthal versus homo sapiens a man is.

Is he liable to be violent in bed?
So when unsure what predominant, highest percentage species the man is, it is best not to encourage him with eye contact?

This is a theory that they are intimidated.

IIRC, homo sapiens follows neanderthal species in evolutionary history.

Also, it makes the assumption that more evolved men, homo sapiens, are less sexually violent towards women than their predecessors, the neanderthal and that lower sexual violence is preferred-also assuming the still-preferred Dominance does not equal sexual violence

 

[Scaramouche]

Hi Lynx.
Seems Homo Sapien and Neanderthal co-existed,probably evolved separately in a time of fluctuating climate,remembering Bergmanns Law that similar species tend to be larger and hairyer where the climate is colder......Whether we dominated because of a superior intellect or a warmer climate swing is debatable.

 

[Lynx nkaf]

hmm, it was something in that book Sex at Dawn or maybe some random's comment on fb one time, but if one wonders if people are at various stages of evolution one just needs to look around at whatever stupid shyt you might come across in your day.
Ex. this guy is 80%h. sapiens and 20% neanderthal and that girl is 65% neanderthal 35% h.sapiens.....

I'll have to look up Bergmanns law. Was that in Origins of the Species?
Also, you're certain they didn't interbreed, these two species?

 

[Scaramouche]

Hi Lynx,
".....Bergmanns law. Was that in Origins of the Species?Also, you're certain they didn't interbreed, these two species?"...No Bergmann is many years after Darwin,he is pretty right though... look at your own Bears,in the South of their range they are half the size of the massive Aleutian Grizzly which I am told,is the largest modern carnivore...
Yup they interbred for sure,but whether the progeny were fertile is another matter,bit like Horses and Donkeys or Lions and Tigers...Some say that we bred them out and all that is left today is a relic in our DNA...Your comments make me laugh though as I saw a Guy in the Supermarket last week who was a Neanderthal if I ever saw one...Who knows?

 

[7onriverI f]

The last 3 or 4 days I've been on a big push to practice/experience/expose myself to the eye contact phenomena. I guess I'm bored. I happen to have been at alot of crowded malls, coffee shops, bookstores, and supermarkets.

The goal was just to experience it. It didn't matter how ugly, hot, fat, skinny they were. It didn't matter if they were 22 or 54.

I'm 47. In shape. Dress in a classic style. Fitted clothes. No dad bod with baggy sweatshirts and sneakers or any of that crap. Still have hair. About 5'11. I'd like to think I have a bit of a presence.

Well it feels like I am invisible. Over the last 3 days I must of passed at least 500 to 1000 women. I think I had eye contact with maybe 20 of them and about 6 or 7 actually held eye contact. Like held meaning the chemical in your brain release type held. That's all well and good.

I'm not concerned about the ones I made eye contact with. I'm more concerned about the lack of any type of eye contact.

Now, to be clear, I'm not a sociopath and I generally function in a socially acceptable manner. I'm not leering at them like an axe murderer or staring from a mile away.

Some I feel know I'm looking but refuse to move their gaze anywhere but in front of them.
That could mean they are totally disgusted by me and will not look at all.
It could mean they have no clue I exist.
Or, and this one is wishful thinking...they are the one intimidated.

I realize there is the availability quotient and attraction quotient involved. But is it possible, assuming I'm not a hideous ghoul, that 1000 women of all ages have zero interest in me or just looking at their surroundings in general?

And lastly I'm also aware people have crap to do and they are not out there looking for 47 year old dudes. But again just pure numbers I should be doing better than that.

The eye contact thing stumps me because everything you read, and I'm not talking about pua crap, I mean more legit science stuff about body language and eye contact, makes it sound like this should be happening 100s of times a day.

thats a possible 6-7 lays you could of had. That's not bad for 3 days work.

 

[Visionist]

On eye contact:

It is important and it can happen more often than we think. I find myself looking random girls straight in the eye after I've just had sex.

Otherwise I keep my eyes forward. Even looking them in the eye, most of them shy away. It's called a "closed pass" whereas an "open pass" has them looking at you, even if not in the eyes.

I was told a lifetime ago by a successful pickup guru that once you lock eyes with a girl, hold it for a few seconds and then smirk playfully. If she smirks back, open her immediately, and be direct. Ask her her name or introduce yourself.

Literally seconds after he told me this (we were all out in public), I immediately put it to the test, locking eyes with a mid-30s blonde woman, waiting those tantalising few seconds, smiling and having her smile back. I didn't open her though. My loss. I was only 20 but whatever.

Random girls would rarely smile at me in the street.

 

[Visionist]

Good question. It's older than that, been my internet handle since forever. In fact I'm probably very easy to stalk online as a result, including my limited social media presence. Could come to bite me in the cöck one day, who knows.

No, I haven't had it tattooed yet. I had a V50 NST registration and numberplate made for my first car. I still have a custom fluorescent yellow T shirt with black letters, need to lose a hell of a lot of weight to wear it again though. I would rock it when out with plates who had already gotten the "guzzle this Visionist cúm you little whóre" inspirational bedroom talk. I guess I was trying to foster a sort of celebrity cult around me and the name with those girls.

I don't have a business, but I have a logo ready to go with the name. Looks like a set of horns with a long point underneath, almost like an art deco spanner/wrench. You can style door pulls, light fixtures, even flaming torches from the design.

It's what I'd call my yacht if I owned one. I'd rather have a Go Fast though. Red one. Call it Execution Dock. Registered in Bloody Bay, of course.