Remember, I'm not here to give advice on seducing. I'm not a PUA, I'm a writer doing research into the 'manosphere'.
I don't have 'the answers', just what works for me.
I've written here about my life, but most people here cannot (or don't want to) relate. I come from a dysfunctional family and derailed in my childhood, became a delinquent (but was never caught), almost killed myself and had a violent phase where I almost got killed several times before I turned my life around at 23. My dark past changed my outlook on life. IDGAF about most things people care about; I don't need to impress the greedy people who obsess about status and wealth, or the superficial people who care only about appearances. I don't feel the need to 'belong' to any groups, I'm fine with being an Einzelgänger.
I advise people to embrace the IDGAF attitude. Don't care about other people's opinions, most of them are wrong anyway, especially with regards to women and relationships.
My personal experience with C-PTSD got me into counselling men and women with PTSD to get the Disorder part under control.
As a result, men and women share their trauma and insecurities with me. These are confidences that I'm not going to talk about on a public forum, but I can tell you that most people have issues that come out in a different way than you'd think. That's why I advise people to not take everything at face value. It's like the quarrel over who didn't put the cap on the toothpaste tube: it's never about the toothpaste.
What people are most worried about is the 'hidden agenda'. Since people (women especially) communicate mostly indirectly and hide their own agenda, they will seek your hidden agenda. When they find an agenda, they feel like they 'know' you. Most guys pretend to like a woman only to get between her legs. So women play the long con, pretending they don't like sex to retain their power over these 'players'. They know that the moment they show how much they enjoy themselves, the 'power dynamic' shifts and they will lose their control.
However, most people who are 'forced' to be in control, it takes too much strain and they would love to find someone who takes the reins without abusing that responsibility. Someone who is 'in control' but not 'controlling'.
My agenda is simple: I'm a writer, I always do character research. If someone wonders why I'm interested in hearing about their life, it's probably to take elements from that and use it in my fiction. Because my 'agenda' is out in the open, people trust me and since they know I'm discreet they often tell me things they won't tell other people.
I'm half-open about my dark past. I don't hide it, but I don't give out details. I'm not emotionally unavailable, but I don't throw my heart around, so it takes time and effort to win my affections. I don't follow my penis around, so the usual temptations women throw at men fail with me.
Women are attracted to my darkness for different reasons. Some because it resonates with their own darkness; some because they want to 'save / heal' me; some because they cannot relate to someone who pedestals them where they feel undeserving.
What most people hanker for is someone they can trust with their innermost feelings. Someone who will listen and take them seriously. Everyone wants to be seen, but only by the right people. Women want attention and validation, but you have to move beyond that into why they need all that attention and validation.
If you're secure in yourself, you don't need validation and attention from strangers. Most women feel lost and alone, even with their friends and family, because they don't understand why someone would like them if they really knew their inner darkness.
Their fascination with 'dark triad' men comes mostly because they can relate to people who treat them exactly for who they see themselves. Dark triad men don't pedestal women and women have to put effort in getting them to give them attention and validation. In comparison to the freely given flood of attention from 'good guys', the attention they worked for feels more genuine and valuable.
