Bad texting or flakey number?

[Andre2807]

Just after improv class, we all went to a local pub called Phat Cactus. As we were entering, trying to find a table for 7 of us, a song started play that I knew. I didn't know at first, but there was a cute girl standing next to me, starting to sing along with me!

I turned to face her... and this was the dialogue:
Me: You can sing in tune!
Her: You too!
Me: We could do a duet on a kareoke night.
Her: There's a kareoke at the bar just accross from this one Monday night!
Me: Done! I'm taking you for kareoke and drinks Monday night.
Her: Perfect!
Me: Before I leave, I'll take your number.

(some time later)
Me: You know what...
Her: What?
Me: I find you really attractive...
Her: *starts blushing*
Me: Andre
Her: Ashleigh
We: *prolonged eye contact*

(as we're about to leave)
Me: (signalling her to come to me) We're leaving soon, here's my phone.
Her: Types in number, smiling.
Me: *prolonged hug and leave*

Texting:
Me: Hello Ashleigh! Cool meeting you tonight. Andre
Her: Hey there. Same here! xx
Morning ping: Having a strong black coffee after I overslept from work!
*blocked me on whatsapp*

Now I'm sure IL was very high, and if it wasn't my name is not Andre. Anyway, clearly she either hated my morning text... or she is flaking.

Could I have done anything better?

 

[nismo-4]

Your princess is in another castle. Here's why.

1. You spoke in futurespeak rather than gone for the insta-date. Gave her time to think up a flake.

2. You put her on a pedestal when you told her you find her attractive. Gee, motherf**ker how many other guys told her that? Well, you gave her the power.

3. I would thank this girl for blocking you because you were gonna friendzone yourself. She has girls she can talk about life issues with, your call shoulda set up a goddamn date and ended there. Oh, this girl doesn't even want you as an orbiter, how cool is that?

Beta mistakes. Judge nismo's review.

Case closed. Learn from this.

 

[Andre2807]

Your princess is in another castle. Here's why.

1. You spoke in futurespeak rather than gone for the insta-date. Gave her time to think up a flake.

2. You put her on a pedestal when you told her you find her attractive. Gee, motherf**ker how many other guys told her that? Well, you gave her the power.

3. I would thank this girl for blocking you because you were gonna friendzone yourself. She has girls she can talk about life issues with, your call shoulda set up a goddamn date and ended there. Oh, this girl doesn't even want you as an orbiter, how cool is that?

Beta mistakes. Judge nismo's review.

Case closed. Learn from this.

1. You spoke in futurespeak rather than gone for the insta-date. Gave her time to think up a flake. She was busy working. How the **** could I have gone for the instant date? Also, she hinted first at the karaoke bar accross the street

2. You put her on a pedestal when you told her you find her attractive. Gee, motherf**ker how many other guys told her that? Well, you gave her the power. Yes, I may have did this, but I lead the interaction all the way. I didn't put her on a pedastal at all, flirting with her was easy and teasing her was natural.

3. I would thank this girl for blocking you because you were gonna friendzone yourself. She has girls she can talk about life issues with, your call shoulda set up a goddamn date and ended there. Oh, this girl doesn't even want you as an orbiter, how cool is that? Definitely agree with this. I know I should rather call than text, much to my dismay.

Sure I will learn from this (especially point 3). The whole scene going on at the pub though was great though. I find it difficult to remember my interactions in detail.

 

[Zarky]

way too desperate. Telling her how hot she is, hugging her, texting her in the morning! Good lawd.

Gotta learn somehow I guess. Would James Dean have done the above?

You gotta be cool, man. Girls only bang guys who are cooler than they are.

Seriously. When you're starting out with chicks, think of a guy -- whether real or fictional -- that you consider to be "cool." Copy him. Straight up copy him. Not so much that you look like a dork trying to copy a well-known cool character. But ask yourself, "Would XXX do what I'm about to do?" If the answer is no, don't do it!

Eventually this persona will meld with your "actual" person and you will be yourself, only much much cooler.

 

[Meisterman]

I think you texted her too much, came off as needy/clingy, and ultimately pushed her away. Here's why:

Women love mysterious men. Imagine if you didn't text her after getting her number. Eventually her hamster would start spinning "Did I say something that pissed him off? Is he busy fvcking other girls? I wonder when he's going to ask me out next..." Etc.

When her hamster spins like this, she subconsciously thinks she's more and more attracted to you. Because she's thinking about you more, and the only way to rationalize this is that it's because she likes you.

By texting her "Cool meeting you tonight" the same fvcking night, you basically eliminated all mystery that was previously there that could spark her attraction. You showed her that you were way more invested in her than she was in you, which is a huge turn off. You were predictable, boring, clingy, and ultimately annoying. You had nothing better to do than reach out to her the same night you met. Which is funny because if you never texted her you would have kept your frame as being mysterious, unpredictable, busy, and abundant. And I bet you would still have a chance with her.

When you texted her the next morning with a pointless, stupid, retarded text about your black coffee, she probably got a case of the "instant ews." The instant ews are when a girl basically looks at her phone, sees your name, and goes "Ughhhh not him again!" And it happens from coming on too strong and once again showing her you have nothing better to do than send her pathetic beta texts, revealing that you have no other options.

From her perspective, if you came on this strong after meeting her not even 1 day ago, there's no way in hell she could envision a future with you. All she would see in her mind's eye of the future is a clingy AFC who is codependent and sucks the life from her like a parasitic leech. I'm not saying this is you, but it's the impression you gave to her.

Texting is strictly for arranging dates and that's it. Your text should either be to initiate a date, or a text you don't expect a reply to (Such as yeah, okay, sure, sounds great, etc.)

Every text you send a girl that is for conversational purposes only with no real substance behind it will decrease her attraction. This means no "good morning" texts, no "what's up?" texts (unless you want to arrange to see her), and sure as hell no "Cool meeting you tonight" texts.

Let a girl's hamster spin in silence and she will build you up to be James Bond in her head (if she already has high IL). But she can only do this when you're away. The more you contact her, the less attracted she will become.

I can assure you as soon as she got home and saw your text she knew she had you. And she knew you had her on a pedestal. You had nothing to offer her, no excitement, no chase, no challenge, no mystery. By the second good morning text she had a case of the instant ews and felt compelled to block you, I don't blame her.

 

[Pardner]

Me: I find you really attractive...

Don't say that to women.

Me: *prolonged hug and leave*

Don't give a prolonged hug either.

Texting:
Me: Hello Ashleigh! Cool meeting you tonight. Andre
Her: Hey there. Same here! xx
Morning ping: Having a strong black coffee after I overslept from work!
*blocked me on whatsapp*

Don't text her that, she should text you that.

Now I'm sure IL was very high, and if it wasn't my name is not Andre. Anyway, clearly she either hated my morning text... or she is flaking.

Could I have done anything better?

Don't tell her she is hot or give prolonged hugs unless you want to turn girls off.

 

[JohnyTheArrow]

(some time later)
Me: You know what...
Her: What?
Me: I find you really attractive...

BETA NEEDY BOY ... WTF ?

Morning ping: Having a strong black coffee after I overslept from work!

WHO GIVES A **** ? You aren't her husband.

*blocked me on whatsapp*

You talk too much, if you don't know what to tell keep your mouth shut and let her imagination fill in.

 

[jurry]

Yea that morning text made me want to vomit.

As others said, less communication (unless you already had some strong rapport) and just cut to the chase, i.e. date. She isnt looking for a gayboy text buddy, she needs a côck inside her.

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

Me: I find you really attractive...

Lame. She knows that, because you asked her out. And because every other jacka$$ on the street says exactly the same thing. Be original. And don't state the obvious simply to inflate her ego.

With those five words, you extinguished any thrill of chase.

Her: *starts blushing*

Lame.

When do we blush? When we are uncomfortable; not when we are happy. Double lame.

Me: *prolonged hug and leave*

Lame.

Gay best friends and beta orbiters hug. Men kiss women. Even if it's on both cheeks. In this situation, I might have even put a little peck on her lips. Just imagine how over-excited she'd be; you need to leave her wanting something. The first time I satyed at my bird's house, I left in the morning without even saying goodbye. She later told me that this IMPRESSED her! I know, it sounds absurd. But what women really want, at least in the initial stages is the unexpected.

Me: Hello Ashleigh! Cool meeting you tonight. Andre
Her: Hey there. Same here! xx
Morning ping: Having a strong black coffee after I overslept from work!

Lame.

Small talk. She doesn't want small talk. She has enough friends. She wants a man in her life. Learn how to be one. E-communications are for setting up face to face. That is all.

Either that, or she has a BF.

 

[bukowski_merit]

It's just too much too early.

She had enough interest in you to enjoy the attention you were giving her the night before... But the minute you start texting her about your coffee and oversleeping - that's just too much attention. Her reaction to that final text was probably "why the fvck do I care?"

And why should she? Who are you to her at that point?

A woman i barely know text me something like that - I'm probably not even going to respond. Unless i can think of some perverted joke to make.

 

[Vulpine]

(as we're about to leave)
Me: (signalling her to come to me) We're leaving soon, here's my phone.
Her: Types in number, smiling.
Me: *prolonged hug and leave*

Texting:
Me: Hello Ashleigh! Cool meeting you tonight. Andre
Her: Hey there. Same here! xx
Morning ping: Having a strong black coffee after I overslept from work!
*blocked me on whatsapp*

Could I have done anything better?

You get her number, text the same night, then stalk her in the morning over the internet to find her accounts and message those? All of which within 12 hours of getting her number?

First off all, texty games are for women. Nothing screams "douche" to a gals vagina louder than a man that texts. Your actions demonstrate that you are a püssy that needs to hide behind a screen because you're scared of women.

But, you texted the same night? Way to let her know within hours that you are a douche.

But follow that up first thing in the morning with some stalker sh¡t? You essentially told her that night: "I'm a wuss." Then the next morning reinforce that idea by assuring her that "you're a wuss, a desperate stalker one, even".

I'd block you, delete you, next your wuss-ass too.

Yes, you could've done something better: call her the Sunday before that Karaoke Monday...
HB: "Hello?"
Andre20893467: "Hey, it's Andre. I am going to be down at (place) for karaoke if you're down for that duet you wanted."
HB: "Oh, it's you."
Andre089245: "Püss out, or show, I'm just letting you know I'll be down there."

Then go. Sing, even. But be sure to be working the crowd. If she doesn't show, *shrug*, you'll still be having a good time.

Quit playing texty games. Call. "Make the Ho say no" does not mean "let the princess text no". You have to ask for a date, with your voice, in order for her to say anything. Letting her decide to block you isn't saying "no".

Call her anyway on Sunday, tell her you'll be there. Go there, have fun, forget about her until she surprises you: expect the flake. Your confident persistence might change her mind about her first impression. No contact otherwise.

By the way, the "drinking hot coffee/late night" comment screams "douche", too. Can't handle your liquor? Don't have hang time to party with the big boys? Don't brag to the world about it, much less stalk down chicks that don't know you and tell them.

I have to say it: "Text game" is "No game"

Better luck next time, bru.

 

[El Payaso]

Too much texting.

 

[LMFAO]

"I find you really attractive" - you sound like bruno cvunting mars.

The way to flirt is "I love you, I hate you" in a playful manner. More like "you're so cute, you're like my little sister". You want a girl to experience a range of emotions. She wants a ride on a rollercoaster, followed by a ride on your c0ck. If she hears he loves me all the time she'll get no tension.

"Having a strong black coffee after I overslept from work!" - you are talking to her like she's already your girlfriend. In her own retard words she's thinking and let's all say it out loud: "I don't even know you" - blocked.

 

[Andre2807]

Based on these responses, I can clearly say that I was over eager with this girl. Probably because how receptive she was during the interaction we had at the bar.

It seems like I still have a lot to learn. Years of misinformation has caused me to be a guy who shows his intentions by giving a weak compliment. Hugging her to think that its "kino"... pinging her the next day like we're dating.

I can see I clearly made mistakes, but I'd rather learn from my mistakes, than not have approached her at all. Or not get her number as I leave.

 

[GS750]

definitely over eager, no doubt. but maybe overanalying a bit here. could be any number of reasons. maybe she has a boyfriend or any number of other reasons. obviously dont contact her again. go forth, learn from the mistakes, and meet other chicks