Bad Sex...Do I explain?

[116933]

Ive been on 4 dates with this girl - finally banged last night. I hadnt beat off in like a week...so I only lasted 2 minutes. Thats rare for me generally - it just happened last night.

I went to the bathroom to get rid of the condom. When I came back I was ready to lay pipe again. She was in the process of getting dressed, not at all waiting for me naked in my bed like i expected. I was in the bathroom for like a minute.


Shortly after I drove her uncomfortably home.

The whole thing sucks...I dont usually have this issue. I feel like it would be lame to explain what happened to her...that i was backed up and just needed to pop one off really quick. But at the same time I feel that if I dont explain -she may think I think thats normal sex...and that I dont know what Im doing. Should I attempt to explain or is the damage done

 

[Leporello]

Did you say anything to her? "Come on, baby - we're just getting started"? Or go down on her or finger her?

Look, I sometimes get pretty bad performance anxiety, and until i work it out the only solution is to pleasure her in other ways. If you make her cvm, she'll stick around.

 

[Fly By Night]

You should of gone alpha style like "B!tch, did I tell you to put those panties on? Get back on that bed for round 2."

A situation like that should be dealt with the night it happens. Now that she already left, I don't know how you will safely salvage this one. Try to go on another date with her and act as if nothing happened. I heard a story where this guy had bad sex with a girl and the next time he just made a promise to her that "Next time will be MUCH better." and he got laid again. But I don't know if that works consistently. :l

 

[116933]

Did you say anything to her? "Come on, baby - we're just getting started"? Or go down on her or finger her?

Look, I sometimes get pretty bad performance anxiety, and until i work it out the only solution is to pleasure her in other ways. If you make her cvm, she'll stick around.

No - thats the worst part. When I walked back in the room she was almost fully clothed. I was shocked. It was obvious she wanted to leave. Legitimately she did have to go back i know she had alot going on last night. But it was almost rude the way she did it.

Im above average size, goodlooking, in great shape. It couldnt have been that bad...it was good just quick. It felt like she was embarrased for me

I feel like im not gonna get another chance.

Dammit. I really liked her too. Is it worth explaining?

 

[JohnChops]

You should of gone alpha style like "B!tch, did I tell you to put those panties on? Get back on that bed for round 2."

hahahaha hellllsss yes.

 

[muscleman]

I can give you 2 suggestions for the future.

1) Look into doing penis exercises or occasional masturbation without release. And when you're having sex start training yourself to get to a point of coming and then stopping, then starting back up. I would tell a girl who was exceptionally hot 'damn I gotta slow down for a minute, hold up' if I didn't want to blow it right there. If she didn't want me to stop I would start doing math in my head or think of the most disgusting thing possible to not come. Now I can control it at will. I can come in 2 minutes or I can drag it out for hours.

2) If you still blow your load quick, just tell her 'damn you're sexy, I never get off that quick'.

You should have questioned why her clothes were on though, I would have.

 

[Stagger Lee]

That's rough man. You put in 4 dates and she just writes you off for not lasting long enough without even giving you a chance for round two. That's women for you, waste all that time and all they really care about is getting boned good by a hot looking guy all along in the first place.

I think when you climaxed quickly you should've made it clear to her that you were just getting started. Women are retarded and insensitve about a man's sexuality.

I once had an experience I posted about with this younger girl about a year ago, where she hee hawed around and we drank till early in the morning. Then suddenly she wanted to get down right now. I had some trouble getting hard fast enough and in no time she froze up and she completely threw me out of the house. There were several cap'n save-a-hos on here that justifyied her behavior. IMO any girl that agrees to get naked in bed and have sex better keep her ass naked until you're done with it. A lot of girls will but some are flaky crap.

I think it would be a bad idea to bring it up now. She's the one that should be explaining her self really. I would just see how she responds to you in general and if she wants to hang out again. If she hesitates or isn't responsive, she doesn't sound like worth getting with anyway.

 

[Who Dares Win]

It happened to me plenty of times, and all the times the girls had no problem with that for the simple fact that they liked me, when a girl gets bratty like this means that she is having sex out of obligation or to get something from you, either having you stick around and fight boredom.

Also your mindset has weight, if you behave like it was no big deal and saying that the gym push your hormones to the stars you can get a better result than just let her decide the frame which in this case was to leave after being disappointed.

Sure its not a great thing to drop your load in 2 minutes but as long as you control the frame of the interaction you still can manage her to stay and have round 2, also as leporello said use your mouth and fingers if it needs, just don't let her think...they are not made to think and when they do the results are bad.

In my case vodka is a magic potion, it slows me down till satisfactory levels but still not sure if thats because it relax my body or my mind.

 

[pdx1138]

Me too.

When I'm even just a little buzzed from alcohol I can go on for a very long time if necessary.

 

[116933]

Thanks everybody for weighing in. Im sure going to try and keep it from happening again.

Ive been walking around feeling like a chump. She is younger and a bit immature...constantly throwing tests at me. But she is hot and our personalities work.

Now I need to think about when to contact. Usually the day after the first bang i contact and just say whats up. In this case i dont know. I sort of feel punked by her. But also like i let her down.

I dont think i am going to try and explain at this point - i think that would just seem insecure.

In the end if this means goodbye - so be it. It happened, what can I do about it now.

 

[Who Dares Win]

Thanks everybody for weighing in. Im sure going to try and keep it from happening again.

Ive been walking around feeling like a chump. She is younger and a bit immature...constantly throwing tests at me. But she is hot and our personalities work.

Now I need to think about when to contact. Usually the day after the first bang i contact and just say whats up. In this case i dont know. I sort of feel punked by her. But also like i let her down.

I dont think i am going to try and explain at this point - i think that would just seem insecure.

In the end if this means goodbye - so be it. It happened, what can I do about it now.

Anyway update us, its something we can learn from.

 

[FairShake]

2) If you still blow your load quick, just tell her 'damn you're sexy, I never get off that quick'.

Hell yeah, this may be the best quote ever.

Anyway, if the girl isn't down for round 2 she's probably not worth it.

 

[Iceberg]

Thanks everybody for weighing in. Im sure going to try and keep it from happening again.

Ive been walking around feeling like a chump. She is younger and a bit immature...constantly throwing tests at me. But she is hot and our personalities work.

Now I need to think about when to contact. Usually the day after the first bang i contact and just say whats up. In this case i dont know. I sort of feel punked by her. But also like i let her down.

I dont think i am going to try and explain at this point - i think that would just seem insecure.

In the end if this means goodbye - so be it. It happened, what can I do about it now.

No. Never explain it. That should never be an option.

Even the sluttiest of women knows that sometimes a man pops off too quickly. It happens. If she just laid down with you and chilled for a few minutes, you would have hopped back on her.

If this is the reason she's dumping you, then she's a terrible human being. But I doubt this is the reason. Women are fickle. I bet she wasn't feeling you in the first place, and now that you've had sex, there's no really anything left to linger around for.

Or maybe she'll call you tomorrow for a f**k and you'll forget the whole thing happened.

 

[flashpoint]

i dunno but if there is an elephant in the room everyone trying to ignore it looks like a fool. or a coward. i'd suggest you do what you always do and then address the subject when it turns up. and of course relating it to the immense level of her sexiness is the way to go here.

 

[HeadLightsOn]

It's true what was mentioned above - about women not knowing sh1t about male sexuality. In general they don't. The times I've had to educate a woman, younger or more mature, about the subtleties of male sexuality...

Another thought if she does pop up in a negative or put down manner to you - put it back on her.

"I wasn't that interested in you so I wanted to get it over and done with", or "It would have been good if you were more involved while we were at it."

That'll work